American Idol Top 8: Song Leaks (UPDATED)

MJ’s Big Blog says they got spoilers for tonight’s set list. After writing my last post, I realized it’s actually inspirational songs and not just songs that inspire the contestants…so it’s probably gonna suck, but that’s okay. I just hope no one does R. Kelly’s (I Believe) I Can Fly, as this song does not inspire. It just makes me want to pee.

Let’s see if these happen to be true…Will continue to post as I get them…

David Archuleta — Angels (Robbie Williams…GAG ME, that song gets worse everytime someone touches it. I’m still putting Neosporin on the scabs in my ears from when Jessica Simpson re-recorded that crap.)

Jason Castro — Over The Rainbow (Israel Kamakawiwo version, or the one used in baby commercials and that Gus Van Sant movie about the kid and Salinger-esque author)

David Cook — Innocent (Our Lady Peace)

And here are the TMZ song leaks. To be perfectly honest, I hate TMZ, so I hate giving them credit, but whatever. Seems like they have the same for the first three, so here are the others…(But they seem to have erroneously referred to Angels as a Jessica Simpson song. Figures, since TMZ follows her pathetic ass around with cameras on a daily basis.)

Syesha Mercado — I Believe (Fantasia…I really hate it when Idol contestants do songs recorded by former Idols.)

Carly Smithson –The Show Must Go On (Queen…I feel like I could tie this song into her desperate need to make herself a pop superstar.)

Brooke White — You’ve Got A Friend (James Taylor…already gagging and pouring myself a drink for this one.)

Michael Johns — Dream On (Aerosmith…SWEET!)

Kristy Lee Cook — Anyway (Martina McBride…don’t know it, and I’m sure her time with us is nearing its end, but she could have tried something else other than country for a change.)

American Idol Top 8: Songs that “Inspire” them

I must admit, I am excited for tonight’s episode of American Idol. Since the competition began, we have rarely heard any of the contestants sing any contemporary songs, so I think this may be the first chance to hear them sing a newer songs. Or not. In any case, it is the opportunity for them to do something they can really get into, which may actually lead to a night a little less boring.

I’m sure the set list will be leaked sometime this afternoon, but if I had it my way, those wacky Idol kids would be singing these tunes:

David Archuleta
Should do: My Name is Luka (Suzanne Vega) would be a great song for The Apparent Chosen One. First off, I already loathe this song, but it does deal with the horrors of child abuse. You can’t tell me having a scary and allegedly verbally abusive stage father isn’t a form of child abuse, Little David has already expressed a liking for singing “issue songs” and it would be a subtle-yet-not-so-subtle cry for help.

Jason Castro
Should do: Hold You in My Arms (Ray LaMontagne) would showcase his guitar and vocal skills perfectly, plus he’s already expressed his love for LaMontagne to both EW and on the contestants’ profile page. Let’s hope it’s one of the allowed Idol songs, because he’s gonna nail it, subsequently introducing LaMontagne to a bunch of people who don’t already know his music. (Although Taylor Hicks did perform Trouble during his season, and I think someone else did this song last time around.)

David Cook
Should do: She’s Like the Wind (Patrick Swayze) would not only give some more props to Swayze, it would also give David C. the opportunity to do his own original take on a horribly lame song (Sample lyric: She’s like the wind / Through my tree) and make it almost cool. I have a feeling he’s going to do just fine with whatever he chooses, plus, song choice hasn’t exactly been an issue for him. He’s been the most consistent performer of the season and I just can’t see him blowing his momentum anytime soon.

Kristy Lee Cook
Should do: Fancy (Reba McEntire) might be a song about a prostitute, but it’s a well-known modern country classic. It’s most likely her last week on the Idol stage so she should try and go out with a bang. Or maybe I just want to hear her sing a first-person account about being a prostitute with the lyric “And I shivered as a roach crawl across the toe of my high-heeled shoe.”

Michael Johns
Should do: Never Tear Us Apart (INXS) is not only a tribute to his Aussie countrymen, it would also showcase his Hutchence-lite vocals with considerable sex appeal while minimizing the Kilmer-does-Morisson stage slithering. Since last week’s performance, I’m excited to see what Johns does tonight. If he builds on his momentum, he could quickly become a top-three contender. Let’s just hope he loses the cravat this week and maybe rocks it with t-shirt sex appeal.

Syesha Mercado
Shouhld do: No One (Alicia Keys) would give SuperMercado a chance to display her vocal prowess without falling back on her go-to diva ballads. It’s a fairly new song still given considerable airplay, which may impress votes. Oh, and it’s not Whitney Houston. I would love to hear her tackle Alice Smith’s Dream, but I think at this point in the competition, Mercado needs to do something a little more well-known on mainstream radio to keep herself out of danger.

Carly Smithson
Should do: You Know I’m No Good (Amy Winehouse) is a way to prove there may be a little edge behind those tattoos while also giving Smithson a change to shine AND ditch the ballads. After seeing a clip of last week’s performance after my initial viewing, I realized there is some truth to Smithson possessing vocals not dissimilar to Celine Dion. Just like with Syesha, I want to see Carly go for something with a little edge because I think they have it in them (and it obviously counts for more this year than in years’ past).

Brooke White
Should do: Waiting on the World to Change (John frakking Mayer) only because Brooke expressed a love for John Mayer in the Q&A portion of the results show a couple of weeks ago. And since things I like about her seem to dissipate each and every week, doing John Mayer would be the icing on the cake. At this point, I actually think I might rather see Kristy Lee stick around a bit longer over Brooke. At least Kristy Lee makes me laugh with her self-depreciating, post-performance banter with the judges. Brooke just makes me cringe. Each time she starts talking, I start thinking about that scene in Swingers when Mikey (Jon Favreau) calls the girl’s voicemail. And calls it again. And again. Each time you watch that movie, you know the scene is coming but you hope it’s not gonna happen. But it’s a movie…made in 1996…so that would be impossible. American Idol is live, but her babbling like an idiot to the judges still happens each and every week with the same regularity of Mikey making an ass of himself on that chick’s voicemail.

(Pinky asked to be TopIdol’s designated “Brooke Hater”. She promises to add Brooke-bashing comments whenever possible and maybe I can talk her into contributing a couple of posts in the coming weeks.)

American Idol Extra: Ramiele is cute, Constantine is greasy

Sure, I’ve bashed Ramiele’s recent performances and referred to her as a “fruit fly” (in a good way), but she seems like a sweet kid. And she is adorable. She’s even more adorable when she’s not pouting, as she did not do once during her American Idol Extra interview. She was cute and affable, and past clips reminded me that her You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me was quite good. I don’t think she really figured out a way to shine past that first week, and I would have liked to have seen Chikieze stick around longer, but whatever. I don’t vote. I just write this crap in the hopes someone will read it (even if they tell me what a horrible person I am…see comments).

I think American Idol Extra is a way to employ past Idol contestants and to let people see an Idol-something when they can’t get tickets to the main event(s).

However, I realized they have an actual Coca-Cola couch where this JD Roberto person interviews family members. Like, its a red couch with white coke bottles. It’s too much product placement for me to take.

Constantine, you are greasy. And wearing V-neck shirts where little curly chest hairs poke out is so unattractive. Once again, I see him, I feel the need to bathe. If Constantine had a superpower, it would be the Chalmydia stare.

Ace Young is kind of like his polar opposite, because at first, you might think he’s walking VD, but he’s not. Maybe its the sweet semi-baby voice? I’m not sure. Or maybe he just seems like a very un-slimy guy. He also co-wrote the Daughtry hit It’s Not Over, which I did not learn until recently. Ace talks about how it would have been nice to have instruments during his Idol season, and I agree, because they had some good people that year (one of the only previous 2 seasons I watched). Ace Young performs his song Addicted, which honestly, isn’t half bad. Like in the way where I would pay $20 to see him play a smaller venue.

Oh no, Constantine is talking to “superfans” and wearing that V-neck again. Hence, I am furiously typing so I do not have to look up at the screen. And I know it’s going to get a bit worse because after the commercial…

Clay Aiken.

I have a friend who loves Clay Aiken, which makes sense, because Pinky has the worst taste in music in the history of music (She will completely attest to this fact, too). And Pinky’s mother is one of those “Claymates” and a member of an actual Clay Aiken fan club. I guess these fan club meetings basically consist of a bunch of middle-aged women sitting around and talking about a number of topics, but Clay concert videos are constantly playing in the background. Pinky went to visit her mother because she bought her a ticket for the Clay Aiken concert, but the night before, she accompanied her mother and the rest of the Claymates on a Clay Concert Eve Booze Cruise. She called me drunk from the boat, but I think I blocked a lot of the conversation out.

Clay Aiken, I should mention, is the reason why MY mother has never watched an episode of American Idol. He frightened her and she refuses to watch the show, even five years after his season.

This is the first time I have heard Clay Aiken speak. I tend to look away when I see photos of Clay Aiken. He really is morphing into an ambiguous creature. I’ve heard him describe himself as “asexual”, which is also the way Richard Simmons describes himself. That would be an awesome couple, Clay Aiken and Richard Simmons. People could sweat to the oldies that Clay sings.