Next Week on American Idol…Hopefully a song from wait, no really, THIS CENTURY?

(Why is David Cook trying to grab me?)

The Final 3 Theme isn’t really much of a spoiler…or a “theme.”

The contestants will each sing 3 songs:

Contestant’s Choice

Judge’s Choice

Producer’s Choice

(So I imagine good old Clive D. will be in the house and picking terrible songs for each contestant.)

These are being updated as soon as I find them…

David Cook
Simon chose Roberta Flack’s The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face
Cook’s choice: The World I Know by Collective Soul (Let’s hope its not an uninspired snoozer like last week’s Duran Duran cover.)

Coretta Scott Mercado
Randy chose Alicia Keys’ If I Ain’t Got You

Eunuch
Paula has chosen Billy Joel’s And So It Goes (Hey…why hasn’t there been a Billy Joel theme week? Or a Hall & Oates. Theme weeks can blow, but they definitely need a week of Hall & Oates Philly Soul next season.)
Producer’s Choice: Dan Fogelberg’s Longer
Eunuch’s Choice: Chris Brown’s With You

But the big question is, how much is the Eunuch gonna bite it without his scary Mormon Stage Daddy pulling his puppet strings during rehearsals?

(Of course, regardless of who sings what, it will probably suck just like…all those weeks before…)

Is VFTW selling out? They’re supporting The Chosen Eunuch?!

I really do enjoy Vote For The Worst and appreciate all that they do to try and bring down Idol, but what’s this…COME ON.

Just as they HAD to start voting for Carrie “Farmbot” Underwood in Season 5, they’ve now done the same for The Chosen Eunuch. So this is how it goes, huh? You throw in the towel and give them what they want when you’re coming down the home stretch?

Why isn’t Coretta Scott Mercado a more suitable pick? She’s just as boring and has nary a chance of making the Top 2 as she would getting the good drinking fountain in Montgomery, Alabama in 1953. (Hey, this is all fair game since she decided to compare her Idol journey to the frakking CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT…)

Her self-aggrandizing ego may not be AS irritating as the Eunuch’s bullshit I-can’t-believe-I’m-still-here-I-was-trembling-in-my-magical-underpants act, and in my opinion, she does have much better stage presence that that robotic eunuch child, but…doesn’t this just entirely defeat the purpose of VFTW? Even if the show is fixed, which I have always believed it was, aren’t they still trying to stick it to Idol? So how are they doing that when nominating The Chosen Eunuch as their pick? We already know he is the worst, but that doesn’t mean he uh, doesn’t have the largest fanbase of any contestant.

Granted, it is still a pretty funny graphic…