Scary Idol Photoshop of the Day (July 7th)

Poor sweet Jason Castro. Some of his fans seem to actually believe his “video dates” are akin to ACTUAL DATES.

Sweet Stoner J, you need to run far away from these people! They’re talking about having your babies!!

Scary Idol Fan Photoshop of the Day (July 6th)

Since I enjoy seeing crazy Idol Fan Photoshops sooooo much, I’ve decided its going to be a regular feature.

And this one is SCARY!!! Double your pleasure??? Looking at this crap actually made me momentarily want to be blind. Hell, my Macbook almost died when I moved this to the desktop, but my duties as a journalist made me take the risk in order to inform the unsuspecting public that people are grossly misusing imaging software on a daily basis.

(Thanks to B for the find)

And speaking of Greasy Constantine, he’s hawking some of his grease-stained shirts on eBay. Yup. eBay. It was originally listed as saying all funds went to charity, but since you have to REGISTER charity auctions on eBay, it was quickly pulled and then reposted sans any mention of it being a charity auction. Perhaps his chosen charity is called RENT MONEY.

Need help landing a guy? Learn how Kimberly Caldwell got David Cook and you will NEVER BE ALONE AGAIN!!

In the “News” section (dated July 3rd) OK Magazine features an article on How Kimberly Caldwell Landed David Cook.

“Kimberly made her way to the Idol set during a taping and asked one of the security guys to slip David her number,” her pal tells OK!. “She insisted they tell him to call.”

Holy crap! This is more important than anything EVER PRINTED IN COSMOPOLITAN. Thanks to the women of American Idol, all my realtionship woes are SOLVED. OK Magazine (the print edition) also helped me out earlier this week with their 15 Tips for Getting and Keeping a Guy advice article using the relationship missteps of Carrie Underwood as an example, I have seen the light!!

Wait…I won’t ever buy that shit magazine so I didn’t read it, so I guess I’m screwed. I better brush up the next time I’m waiting in line with my groceries or I am destined to be alone with my cat forever. I will become a Cat Lady if I do not read these articles. Thank you, OK, you have SAVED MY LIFE!!!

(Thanks to X for the link)