Shitty Idol Coronation Song is probably just as shitty, but has a more apt title

Presenting No Boundaries. Which is kind of what’s in store for these two come the tour when they get to meet a lot of their fans face-to-face. Yup. That’s right. No Boundaries.

While I’m buoyed with hope that a song with such a “dark” title may have little reference to hope, dreams or God, I’m still certain it will suck, as Shit For Brains DioGuardi did write it.

In other news, Britney Spears won’t be lip synching, which is fine with me, considering I watched her live X-Factor performance while I was in London last November and no one is missing anything.

Lionel Richie will be dueting with Danny Gokey. Poor guy. Especially since David Cook will be performing. Come on, can’t Cook revisit one of his Top 2 performances from Season 7 with a Hello duet with Richie while we play the awesome video in the background, but instead of a girl, Scott MacIntyre is in it, sculpting Billy Joel’s head or something? Completely unrelated yes, but it would be really awesome.

As would a Cher-Lambert duet, but they got Kiss instead. Sorry, folks, Cher would have been soooo much better. All the kiddies will be singing Pink’s So What and Santana’s Smooth, which makes no sense. Oh, and I fraking hate Smooth with a passion. I rank it down there with Ain’t No Mountain High Enough and Black Hole Sun as some of the worst pieces of shit ever recorded.

Lambert is reprising his Mad World performance, but with a twist. Which I imagine will be an extra screech, but I think a better twist would be having his own rabbit sing backup. HBD will either perform Falling Slowly or Heartless, and I imagine he will go with the former since Heartless was performed just last week. But wait! Now he’s probably doing Ain’t No Sunshine. And why the hell is he dueting with Keith Urban? Is Idol trying to make him a country singer since they haven’t had any successful ones in awhile? (Good thing he’s not doing that Garth Brooks song again, you don’t want to encourage Idol and their weasely ways.) La Princesa will be peforming with Cyndi Lauper. I hope they get their hair done together, b/c that would be cool. It would also be cool if Lou Albano came along for the festivities, too.