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More ConFan Delusions: Part 2

July 25, 2008

One of Greasy Constantine’s most ardent fans, the one who seemingly finds Greasy Constantine fans EVERYWHERE SHE GOES, has posted some other choice tales of discovering “fans” in random places.

Such as random diners…

Another nest of C fans today- at the local diner (my first visit); there were many business cards on the register counter so while I was waiting for my ‘to go’ order, I asked if I could leave a couple of cards. The waitress immediately picked one up and turned 12- though she looked more like she was 16 or 17- and began gushing over C on AI. The woman and her hubby who were next to me at the register began talking about how they both voted for him. By the end of the conversation, my cards were gone. The owner was also at the register and took 2- one for his daughter and one for his neighbor. GOOD GRIEF! The real world is awash in Greekboy fans!!
Moral: many have NOT forgotten and will be reminded of why they voted for him 3 years ago when they see AI Rewind next month! This little happenstance is more than serendipitous- it’s terrific free publicity!

Clearly, these is is not a real-life event. While I do not doubt her street teaming of various local businesses in the region in which she resides, I doubt she encounters Greasy Constantine fans EVERYWHERE SHE GOES. I am more inclined to believe people who claim to hear the voice of God over this woman’s ramblings of the world being filled with a silent Greasy Constantine fanbase.

But the worst thing is that poor, defenseless animals are no longer safe. As much as I hate PETA, I considered sending them this as an example of animal cruelty that needed unnecessary protest measures.

This afternoon I decided to pay a visit to my ex mom-in-law who lives near my mom here in so Cal. She has an African Gray parrot which she is leaving to me in her will….and I swear, this parrot is smarter than a lot of people I know. He amuses himself by reciting nursery rhymes, then intentionally mixing up the punch lines which he follows up with hysterical laughter.
He is also in charge of the other household pets, continually reminding them, “No barking, Midnight!” or “What’s the matter Yogi?” when his housemate, Yogi the cockatiel starts his daily shrieking. He’s also quite the host, politely asking me when I first walked into the house this afternoon, “Do you want a cheese sandwich?” All true- this bird needs no prompting- he just comes up with the craziest things when you least expect it..and they all seem to be eerily appropriate for the situation!

So today, I was singing to him since he’s a music fan- attempting to teach him a refrain from Frere Jacques which he obviously had absolutely no interesting learning, so I switched to something more lively- I began singing “Everybody LOVES, everybody Cries, Everybody dreams of a perfect life..” when suddenly he jumped from the perch onto the side of the cage and put his eye (and ear??) right next to my face, listening intently to every note and word; I continued: “Let’s get busy, give it a try,” at which point the bird blurted excitedly, “Do you wanna dance?” and began swaying side to side in the rhythm.. By the time I got to ,”Everybody love somebody tonight” he was hanging upside down from the top of the cage, his entire body gyrating to the music as he did a kind of bird aerobics/twist/shimmy move in a gravity defying dance..red feathers fluffed out, looking for all the world like a flamenco dancer on meth!

By the end of the Na na na NA na na Na’s he was back on the perch, dipping and swaying and having one helluva good time! When the singing stopped, in a very excited tone, the bird loudly declared, “COOL! COOL! COOL!”

OMG- both mom-in-law and I were laughing so hard she nearly dropped the camera…yes indeed, she managed to capture at least some of the EL BirdDance on video . The quality isn’t great because she had no clue how to use my camera and the room was pretty dark, but it’s defintely ‘caught on tape.’

We have spent many moments in the past laughing at her very wise bird’s antics and sense of humor..no one loves a good joke more than Bianca..He uses sytax and vocabulary with apparent intelligence and after reading about much of the current research into the African Gray’s ‘bird’ brain, I have to say…it’s almost scary.

And may I also say, this bird has great taste in music!

Whoa…and no less comparing the parrot to a FLAMENCO DANCER ON METH!!! I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a flamenco dancer on meth before, have you? That’s um, yeah, a killer metaphor. And seriously, I’m waiting for the video. If this really happened, I want to see the video because I don’t buy it. Even a bird is smart enough to know better.

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