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Huh? What is this shite?

August 7, 2008

When I didn’t have to hear him sing anymore, that Archuleta kid kind of grew on me. I stopped calling him a Eunuch…mainly because I actually am a nice person and well, once I didn’t have to hear him sing anymore I no longer felt the need to maintain a minor loathing for the poor kid. More than anything, I feel sorry for him because he’s been a stage child for his entire young life. And a Mormon. So he’s a poor kid in magical underpants who thinks Jesus came to Missouri while also being chained to a stage in order to feed his family & parents’ egos for his entire youth. Makes you thankful for your lazy & miserable heathenistic childhood, right? EXACTLY.

In any case, I was dismayed to see a recent photoshoot of Archey, as I really don’t know what they were trying to do here. And there is one of him in an orange chair which is utterly baffling and bizarre, yet kind of looks like something you would find in a Sunday circular? I’m not sure, but its a bit weird, as are several of them.

For instance, take this curious case of figure, or perspective, or figure and perspective…you know, artsy stuff. I’m trying to sound like I know EXACTLY what I’m talking about here, okay?

What's with the hat?

What's with the hat?

What is this nonsense? It’s like one of those games I download when I’m bored where I’m supposed to find all the “hidden” objects in a room to solve a faux mystery. That hat looks ridiculously out of place and the damn kid really needs to get off the coffee table. I wouldn’t want some kid coming over to my house and standing on my coffee table, would you? And I especially wouldn’t like some kid coming over to my house and standing on my coffee table with a stupid porkpie hat that doesn’t add anything to his outfit.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. August 21, 2008 7:57 pm

    CAPSLOCK FTW!

    If you shout, that makes it true.

  2. August 7, 2008 2:46 am

    oH, AND A WORD ABOUT THOSE JONAS BROTHERS, HOW DARE YOU THREE
    KNUCKLE HEADS ADMIT OPENLY ON THE RYAN SEACREST SHOW THAT “YOU
    GUYS” WON AN AWARD FOR THE MOST “FANATIC FANS” EXCUSE YOU! YOU
    KIDS MUST HAVE BEEN HIGH ON SOMETHING BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT WAS
    INACCURATE INFORMATION. FOR YOU THREE TO LIE, CHEAT AND STEAL A
    WELL DESERVED AWARD THAT ARCHIE DESERVED FROM “HIS” ARCHIE FANS
    WHO WORKED SO HARD FOR DAVID TO GET THIS AWARD. YOU BETTER TAKE
    THAT BACK AND APOLOGIZE TO ARCHIE AND THE ARCHIE FANS. YOU THREE
    ARE NOT WHO YOU LEAD US TO BELIEVE YOU ARE, SWEET, CARING ETC.
    YOU JONAS BROTHERS ARE FAKE AND TAKERS. LEARN FROM ARCHIE HOW
    TO BE REAL

  3. August 7, 2008 2:39 am

    ACTUALLY, I LIKE THIS PICTURE BUT THERE ARE OTHERS I HAVE SEEN THAT
    APPEARED TO BE “NOT DAVID” OBVIOUSLY THE PRODUCERS HAVE LINED HIM
    UP WITH A PHOTOGRAPHER WITH NO SENSE OF CREATIVITY AND WHO EVER
    SELECTED HIS CLOTHING OUT FOR THESE PICTURES HAS NO SENSE OF STYLE
    COME ON NOW, GREEN PANTS! CAN’T WAIT TIL ARCHIE IS NO LONGER CONNECTED WITH IDOL PRODUCERS WHO TELLS HIM TO WEAR SUCH HIDEOUSOUTFITS. ARCHIE’S TOO HANDSOME AND TALENTED TO BE RECOGNIZED IN THAT TYPE OF CLOTHING.

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