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David Cook does not want your crusty undies

December 14, 2008

David Cook. Erstwhile adult contemporary “rocker” and seemingly nice guy continues to wonder why the hell he auditioned for American Idol.

I think Cook wants legitimacy. Unfortunately, he’s tagged as an American Idol contestant/winner, which is difficult to overcome in the first place, but then throw in those wacky & obsessive fans and poor Cook is just screwed.

At a Jingle Bell concert in Columbus, Ohio, a gaggle of Cook fans decided to toss their panties on the stage. 

David Cook fans continue their assault on his musical legitimacy at the Jingle Ball in Columbus, Ohio

David Cook fans continue their assault on his musical legitimacy at the Jingle Ball in Columbus.

First off, there is only one performer who is allowed to be thrown ladies’ panties. Tom Jones. This is the only time it is acceptable. And when TJ is no longer with us, there shall be no more tossing of the panties on a stage. Ever. Again.

Second, is this kind of behavior doing anything to help Cook’s career? Exactly. One thing I do really like about Cook, though, is how he is incredibly skilled at showing his displeasure and disgust with such ludicrous behavior. Whether a “witty” comment or sneaky-snide look, no other Idol has managed to adeptly combine both graciousness and get-me-the-frak-out-of-here with such aplomb. 

Here is an excellent video of The Panty Incident: 

Someone needs to determine the inverse correlation between the retarded behavior of male Idol contestant fans and albums sold.

Alas. It won’t stop any of these women.

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