AI Season 8 is all about the plants
Since the summer auditions, reliable Idol blogs and websites have been conducting plant watch and keeping an eye out on spoilers for the upcoming season. The ways people go about doing this have been explained to me, but I never really got into it.
With Season 8 premiering last week, the blogs are abuzz with who potential Hollywood round and the subsequent 50 or 36 finalists may be. Sure, Idol always has plants, just look at last season, but this time, they’re out of control.
Several years back, you may have even heard of the biggest plant in the history of Idol botany: Joanna Pacitti. This bitch was lampooned by Cheri Oteri on SNL years ago when she got booted from the Broadway cast of Annie after winning a nationwide search. Since then, she’s released an album with Geffen, had songs featured on both the Bratz and Legally Blonde 2 soundtracks, been on MTV’s True Life, dates some guy named Mark Ballas who is on Dancing With The Stars…oh, and she also wrote a song on the new Britney Spears album, Circus.
Are you frakking kidding me?
Yes. This is this country’s best undiscovered talent.
Undiscovered talent like Brent Keith Smith / Brent Keith. MJ’s Big Blog posted a bit about this guy and he’s also a bit ridiculous. He was a contestant on season 2 of Nashville Star (a much more successful talent show than that crap I cannot recall the name of but featured Coretta Scott Mercado), has a music page on CMT and had a song featured on the soundtrack of Dale, a biopic of Dale Earnhardt. He is featured in an AI commercial with other contestants whose names have been uncovered: Alexea Lawson, Lil Rounds and Emily Wynne-Hughes.
According to VFTW, Wynne-Hughes, a “rock chick”, gets cut in Hollywood. And Lil Rounds got a standing ovation in Hollywood. Lil is also a girl named Lillian.
John Twiford is also rumored to have made it to Hollywood. He seems like another Greasy Constantine type. Groan. But he plays an instrument, which is more than we can say for Greasy Constantine. And 5 seconds into the song featured in the clip…horrible Christian coffee shop crap. If he makes it past the Hollywood round, he will have a swarm of Frauen. But wait. So will Brent Keith John Boy Ryan Brett Smith. As we all know, if you have a penis and you’re on AI, you will have Frauen!!
Other VFTW spoilers include Adam Lambert, Felicia Barton, and Kendall Beard. Kendall Beard is already on my Hate List because I always loathe the designated “cute country blonde”. She has released an 4-track album, presumably independent (released in May), but has had some experience in playing various music festivals in and around her native Texas. I would also venture to say she’s had a visible surgical enhancement.
And here is Jennifer “Jenisis” Samoranos, another rumored contestant, signing a tired Alicia Keys song while playing piano. Check out the rest of her YouTube. If she makes it to the Finals, she will be singing the same tired songs done so unoriginally every season (i.e., every single Coretta Scott Mercado and Ramiele Malubay performance). She also gets points off for referring to herself as “Jenisis”. Groan. Perhaps she will surprise us…but when is Idol ever surprising?