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AI Season 8 is all about the plants

January 10, 2009

Since the summer auditions, reliable Idol blogs and websites have been conducting plant watch and keeping an eye out on spoilers for the upcoming season. The ways people go about doing this have been explained to me, but I never really got into it. 

With Season 8 premiering last week, the blogs are abuzz with who potential Hollywood round and the subsequent 50 or 36 finalists may be. Sure, Idol always has plants, just look at last season, but this time, they’re out of control. 

Several years back, you may have even heard of the biggest plant in the history of Idol botany: Joanna Pacitti. This bitch was lampooned by Cheri Oteri on SNL years ago when she got booted from the Broadway cast of Annie after winning a nationwide search. Since then, she’s released an album with Geffen, had songs featured on both the Bratz and Legally Blonde 2 soundtracks, been on MTV’s True Life, dates some guy named Mark Ballas who is on Dancing With The Stars…oh, and she also wrote a song on the new Britney Spears album, Circus.

The Ultimate Idol Plant

Are you frakking kidding me?

Yes. This is this country’s best undiscovered talent. 

Brent Keith Smith

Undiscovered talent like Brent Keith Smith / Brent Keith. MJ’s Big Blog posted a bit about this guy and he’s also a bit ridiculous. He was a contestant on season 2 of Nashville Star (a much more successful talent show than that crap I cannot recall the name of but featured Coretta Scott Mercado), has a music page on CMT and had a song featured on the soundtrack of Dale, a biopic of Dale Earnhardt. He is featured in an AI commercial with other contestants whose names have been uncovered: Alexea Lawson, Lil Rounds and Emily Wynne-Hughes.

According to VFTW, Wynne-Hughes, a “rock chick”, gets cut in Hollywood. And Lil Rounds got a standing ovation in Hollywood. Lil is also a girl named Lillian. 

John Twiford is also rumored to have made it to Hollywood. He seems like another Greasy Constantine type. Groan. But he plays an instrument, which is more than we can say for Greasy Constantine. And 5 seconds into the song featured in the clip…horrible Christian coffee shop crap. If he makes it past the Hollywood round, he will have a swarm of Frauen. But wait. So will Brent Keith John Boy Ryan Brett Smith. As we all know, if you have a penis and you’re on AI, you will have Frauen!!

Other VFTW spoilers include Adam Lambert, Felicia Barton, and Kendall Beard. Kendall Beard is already on my Hate List because I always loathe the designated “cute country blonde”. She has released an 4-track album, presumably independent (released in May), but has had some experience in playing various music festivals in and around her native Texas. I would also venture to say she’s had a visible surgical enhancement. 

And here is Jennifer “Jenisis” Samoranos, another rumored contestant, signing a tired Alicia Keys song while playing piano. Check out the rest of her YouTube. If she makes it to the Finals, she will be singing the same tired songs done so unoriginally every season (i.e., every single Coretta Scott Mercado and Ramiele Malubay performance). She also gets points off for referring to herself as “Jenisis”. Groan. Perhaps she will surprise us…but when is Idol ever surprising?

Check out the rest of the (ongoing) list at Joe’s Place. 

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. pvdugas permalink
    January 25, 2009 7:22 pm

    American Idol has turned into the biggest joke reality show. You can’t even find the rules for auditions on the website. They’ve conviently disappeared and return an error message when clicked on. Do you mean to tell me the world has no talent and they therefore have to plant failed talent on the show? I haven’t been a fan for awhile. I definitely won’t watch at all this season.

  2. Sharon permalink
    January 12, 2009 9:45 am

    I so agree, this is getting super ridiculus,what is wrong with Idol? Don’t tell me there are no unknown singers left in this great country, so they have to dig up losers who had and lost recording contracts. Is Joanna going to sing songs off her cd on Idol, probably the one Britney remade Out from under. I fully expect to see one hit wonders on next season.

  3. Sane Jason Fan permalink
    January 10, 2009 5:04 pm

    What happened to the idea of finding someone like Kelly Clarkson? Are there no more Kelly Clarksons out there or something?

    To me, if you’ve had a previous record deal you don’t qualify as “undiscovered” and shouldn’t be eligible. And I don’t mean someone who self-produces a CD like David Cook. I mean someone who has had a major deal.

    I’m all for recycling but not when it comes to reality show contestants. If you’ve already been on an Idol-ish show you can’t keep turning up like a bad penny. You’ve already had a shot. I’m not sure I’d include “Star Search” in this though because it’s not the same format. I suppose it’s close but I don’t mind Archie having been on “Junior Star Search” or whatever the hell he was on. Is that hypocritical? I don’t know.

    • TopIdol permalink
      January 10, 2009 9:09 pm

      Exactly. It’s ridiculous. David Cook did have some regional success with his band, and one of their songs was featured on the in-theater soundtrack in AMC Theatres — the stuff they play before the trailers & film begin. But neither him nor his band had a contract.

      Not counting independent and self-released albums, AI should really quit with this crap if they oh, want people to continue watching the show. And frankly, it’s impossible to keep the contestants’ pasts under wraps.

      Sorry, but a guy who was on Nashville Star and a chick who has already had a failed Geffen contract and was lampooned on SNL, as well as having a songwriting credit on Britney Spears’ latest album should not even be eligible to audition for this shit show.

      Plus, its quite obvious…the people who do end up wildly successful or somewhat successful from this show are the ones who were pretty much unknown. Maybe they should go find some more waitresses and bartenders instead of these yahoos.

  4. standalone permalink
    January 10, 2009 11:50 am

    Joanna Pacitti looks like Kat McPhee without the bitch-face or huge ass.

  5. spinshack permalink
    January 10, 2009 11:34 am

    She’s a little bit Brooke and a little bit Ramiele. Drowning herself out with the piano. Besides who wears a leather jacket, wool scarf and hat indoors? Maybe her heat’s off. 😀

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  1. Phoenix Rising: American Idol #8 Madness Begins « Top Idol
  2. Brent Keith American Idol Video Brent Keith Smith

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