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Joplanta Pacitti: The $5 Million FAIL

January 30, 2009

Thanks to STP and C over at VFTW for finding this gem!

The Ultimate Idol Plant

Joanna “Joplanta” Pacitti is going to ask the federal government for a bailout next. The ridiculousness of this twit being on American Idol continues to defy all logic. Sure, there will always be plants, but even referring to this bitch as “undiscovered talent” is beyond laughable.

Basically, Idol is more likely to kick your ass off if you show your ta-tas on the internet, have one or two minor criminal infractions or might be gay over the fact that Geffen Records already spent $5 million dollars on this chick.

This message has been posted around several comments threads at various publications, including Rolling Stone, Hollywood Gossip and

Peter Ruger 
Our client has direct knowledge of a more serious and direct conflict of interest between KARA DIOGUARDI and the JOANNA PACITTI and the AMERICA IDOL controversy. We represent award-winning Songwriter and Music Producer NATHAN CROW. Crow co-wrote and co-produced the Title track to JOANNA PACITTI’s A&M album, “This Crazy Life” in partnership with Eric Ivan Rosse, who also produced Sara Bareilles’ big hit “Love Song”. Crow also co-wrote and produced several additional songs performed by Ms. Pacitti while she was signed to A&M, including “Cool Water.” 
KARA DIOGUARDI shares a re-write credit on the song “Cool Water.” Crow put together a multi-million dollar advertising deal with COTY fragrances around JOANNA PACITTI and the Coty “Cool Water” fragrance using the song. Geffen Chairman RON FAIR tried to write his own song for the “Cool Water” campaign and then the deal fell apart. Ron Fair told Crow that he and the label invested “five years and $5 Million dollars” developing JOANNA PACITTI.” Despite that, Crow says of Ms. Pacitt “she is a dedicated professional and she deserves support by American Idol voters.”

Agency Artists LLC

Groan. Love the disclaimer at the end as to not piss of industry people, perhaps?

Joplanta already has fantards coming to her defense. It amazes me people care this much, to be honest. But it always amazes me how pathetically ridiculous and batshit crazy people get over this shit show.

Lets get real here.  How can you comment on someone (Greedy people are boring) when we don’t even know anything about her background.  And who are we to judge a book by it’s cover?  This is a competition.  I mean come on, have you seen some of these kids that believe they can sing?  That’s just it, they believe they can, so let them try and pursue what they believe they can do.  That’s whats wrong with America.  We’re all so ready to judge someone and toss them to the curb because we think they are one up on us.  This is a competition, may the best kid win, talent, no talent, fresh talent, existing talent. 

And check out this idiot:


1.  Her voice is amazing.

2.  She no longer has a record deal.  She was never promoted properly, therefore, she did not “MAKE IT” in the music industry.

3.  Until the American Idol audition, 99% of the people in this world never heard of her. 

4.  She meets the criteria for auditioning for American Idol – plain and simple.  The people on here saying American Idol is for undiscovered talent or whatever I guess are making up their own rules for this show.

5.  She has the drive and determination not to give up.  With all the setbacks, she is still pursuing her dream.  That is something we should all admire. 

Uh, ok. How was she not properly promoted when Geffen Records invested $5 MILLION DOLLARS and FIVE YEARS in her? 

Christ, you people are lame.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Harry permalink
    May 31, 2009 4:51 am

    sorry but joanna’s voice sucks and she’s not attractive either. she looks like an old hag. she wears so much makeup she looks like a crossdresser. i can’t believe they wasted $5 million on a talentless ho like her. she’s beaten down and worn out. if joanna pacitti is smart she’ll get knocked up by her rich gay boyfriend mark ballas.

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