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Fan Tard Psychology: Case Study #1

February 5, 2009

NOTE:
I would like to add something. I think people of whatever age can damn well listen to whatever kind of music they wish. It is not my intention to say that some people are too old to be fans. It’s not about AGE. It’s about the behavior of rabid fans. Many of these women just tend to be older, but that is not a rule. And when adult women start acting ridiculous, like thirteen-year-olds do over the Jonas Brothers, well…it’s a bit strange.

But you can be 15, 25, 35 or 75 and listen to whatever you choose. PLEASE do what makes you happy, regardless of age. Just don’t be act like a whack job. With the majority of Idol fandoms, it’s NEVER about the music. It’s about the selfish and scary need to get closer than anyone else to someone they watched on TV.

With so many of these fan groups, it seems there is no line between being a fan and being an obsessive, borderline stalker. I have news for you. Being the most obsessed does not make you the biggest fan. It makes you a lunatic with a tenuous grasp on reality.

David Cook is not your boyfriend. He does not owe you anything. If you want to support the guy, buy his goddamn music. If he comes to your town, go to his shows. But please stop throwing crusty undies at him on stage. Did he look like he appreciated skid-marked tokens of your affection?

Stop demanding he give a reason why he chose to do a college tour. You want this guy to have a long, successful career? Or would you rather ruin it because you want to keep “boyfriend” and his “fan base” all to yourselves.

Think about it. Please continue reading…

Fan Tard Psychology: Case Study #1

I think this may be a weekly “class” where we can discuss this fascinating new realm of mental health, which sadly did not make the DSM V.

(Guess we will just have to wait for the DSM VI.)

Presenting… Fan Tard Psychology: Case Study #1

Please discuss ways this woman could better deal with her daily life, as well as tips for coping for “real life” away from the TV screen on Tuesday and Wednesday evenings. Imagine if this woman was your sister, or your mother, or even a close friend. What would you do? What would you recommend she do? And, do you see anything in her behavior which should be of concern (regarding both physical and mental health).

PLEASE leave your comments and suggestions at the end of this post. I look forward to reading all of them.

FTP: Case Study #1

Jane Doe: A David Cook fan

These are real words from a David Cook fan during American Idol’s seventh season. She discusses the routine she has developed in order to juggle family, job and David Cook.

Rearrange my schedule on Tues. and Wed. nights, including making sure those are my two days off from work.

Make sure the kids don’t have any activities planned those two evenings. (If absolutely necessary, I record it but I prefer to watch it live, I don’t like to find out things late).

Hyperventilate all day Tuesday, feeling slightly sick to my stomach, not being able to eat much.

Frantically search for spoilers starting Tuesday afternoon.

Post like a maniac on the forums ALL DAY on Tuesday, and sometimes into late Wed. morning when I finally crash and sleep until around 5 PM (I can stay up all Tues. night because I have Wed. off)

I have to make special preparations before I watch AI: First of all I get as close to the TV as possible, even if that means sitting three inches away from the set like a little kid watching cartoons. I absolutely must be seated when David comes on, since the sight of him always makes me feel a little dizzy and lightheaded. I need a large drool bucket in front of me too, and six giant-size boxes of tissues. I need easy access to the bathroom (where my kids and others can’t see and possibly be disturbed by my behavior) to whoop, scream, cry, laugh, and jump up and down like a crazy person if the night goes well (or cry and puke if it doesn’t). Needless to say, I usually miss the next contestant’s performance, and have to catch it later on youtube.

Rushing through my work day so I can leave early and get back on the forums and look at the latest pictures and posts.

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22 Comments leave one →
  1. Shari permalink
    March 24, 2009 4:13 pm

    EEB was first penned on one of the fansites. They started called the band it for fun because there wasn’t a formal name and it kind of stuck. It is short for Easy on the Eyes Band.

    • Shari permalink
      March 24, 2009 4:14 pm

      So DWEEB is David with the Easy on the Eyes Band.

      • Smartie permalink
        December 4, 2009 11:17 pm

        Fugliest bunch of fugs seen outside prison.

        • freedavidcook permalink
          December 4, 2009 11:40 pm

          Especially that Neal. You could use his photo to scare off cockroaches and rats.

        • TopIdol permalink
          December 5, 2009 2:00 am

          That sentence made me laugh out loud. Hee hee hee. Oh it tickled me so. No idea why, but it did.

  2. Shari permalink
    March 24, 2009 12:24 pm

    One more thing. I don’t think I have ever squealed in my life.

    • TopIdol permalink
      March 24, 2009 1:05 pm

      I just want someone to tell me what EEB and all its other incarnations stands for. Thus far, I’ve figured out the D in DWEEB stands for David, but I’m lost about the rest.

  3. anasazisibes permalink
    February 10, 2009 4:58 pm

    Lie to Me – I watched Cook’s vlog again on DCO – laughing at his obvious discomfort at telling certain people to back off – and then I read some of the comments. No, I don’t think the truly obsessed are EVER going to “get it”. There were so many people saying thanks for not forgetting them & for promising to come back & thanks for apologizing, etc. The ownership & sense of entitlement isn’t rational, so I don’t think they will understand his true message. I still love his music & think he’s a cool guy. I hope he keeps making music, and I’m really glad he’s not bending over backwards to these weird people. Of course he’s not going to blog about where he’s going to be or where he’s been – he doesn’t want a bunch of squealing overage women beating down his door! His fanatics aren’t the only crazy ones, which does point to the bigger problem: AI breeds a whole scary subculture of entitled fans and I do agree that it is a career-killer for the object of “affection”. I’m so glad Cook’s doing something about it now.

    • Shari permalink
      March 24, 2009 12:14 pm

      I am tired of the “older woman” taking the rap for some of the things the crazy fans are doing. I like DAvid’s music and follow some of the fan threads simply because there are good, interesting people who are fans of David. Also there are links to some of his earlier music and some of the things that he has sung that are not on the CD. He has been mixing up his set list. It is not the same thing every concert. He has been playing with bands since he was 15 and the members of the EEB also have music out there. Some of that is showing up in the concerts. It is not the same exact show every night. I have seen one show and will be meeting friends to see one more. We will not be shouting obcenities, vulgar innuendos, or any of that garbage. We will be there to enjoy one of our favorite artists. I love good rock and roll. Remember, the hippies of Woodstock are now in their 50’s and 60’s. I don’t think they are ever going to stop loving rock and roll. Music appeals to the soul. While your body ages your soul stays young. The people that are making it hard for the rest of the fans are just ignorant and disrespectful. Ignorance comes in ALL age groups. Please don’t lump all of us together.

  4. Lie to Me permalink
    February 10, 2009 8:20 am

    How much more proof do these people need that Cook holds them in contempt and is turning away from their brand of crazy when David Archuleta’s blogs to HIS fans give them more information about what Cook has been up to than he does? There was a secret corporate gig in Florida about two weeks ago the two of them performed at… Archie blogged about it a few days after… not Cook… I find that telling…. Don’t know what else needs to be said or done by Cook to get the message across…

  5. frau fighter permalink
    February 10, 2009 8:11 am

    The post about the fans irrational obsession with Idol and structuring her life around it to see David Cook on it weekly is beyond sad. There are reams of similar stories on his official board with almost note for note stories of wives neglecting the needs of their husbands, children and lives for a TV reality show personality…. women old enough to be his mother and grandmother making disgusting videos of his body parts, salivating and drooling over him like a piece of meat… and God help anyone who disagrees with their view of Cook as a rock God, a truly talented, sent to save rock genius! This is one of the most delusional and in denial group of folks I’ve run across… I s it delayed adolescence or menopause that causes these fans to act in this irrational manner? Are the lives they lead so empty that a reality show singer can come in and turn them into obsessed and semi crazed groupis? It’s apparent to me that Cook has had enough of this, and this college tour is his Declaration that he is cutting ties with this part of his life and the fanbase… Good for him, and Idol can’t go down the tubes soon enough for me – if this is the most enduring legacy they leave…..

  6. anasazisibes permalink
    February 7, 2009 9:04 pm

    Agreed, TopIdol. The religious people who are obsessed with Archie (or with anyone) forget that little rule. Amazing how one can conveniently forget things like that & still judge others. That’s why there’s the “cast the first stone…” story in the Bible. It’s hard being a real Christian when there are so many that forget the big picture, but before you call everyone religious hypocrites, remember that all of us are human & so make mistakes. I try my hardest not to judge even those that blatantly miss the whole point of what Jesus was trying to teach. But I fall at times & can’t help enjoying making fun of the ridiculous religious! So I guess I’m not perfect either! 🙂

  7. anasazisibes permalink
    February 7, 2009 4:59 pm

    One more quick comment. Speaking of the inappropriate comments about kids by older women…I will never forget when Andrew Lloyd Weber told David to pretend he was a beautiful 17yr old, and DC said something like “Whoa! I’m 25, 17 is a little young!” His inappropriate cougar fans need to take a lesson from the man, himself.

  8. anasazisibes permalink
    February 7, 2009 4:53 pm

    I’m glad I stumbled on this blog – it’s very entertaining with rational, down-to-earth ideas unlike so many of the AI world. I do have to say that I’m a “die-hard” Christian, but I’m becoming less “religious” all the time because of the hypocritical “Christians” that are anything but. It seems the Church in general, no matter what denomination, through the years keeps missing the entire point. It’s always been astounding to me since childhood how judgmental Christians seem to be – and the more “religious” the more judgmental & condemning of others. Fundamentalists are downright scary because of their cult-like attitude. I don’t suppose anyone’s read “The Shack”? The author escapes me for the moment, but it’s a great spiritual book centered on God, not religion as such. Most AI fan behaviour is just kind of laughable, but at the center it is scary thinking about why these people (Claymates, Archies, Cookies, whatever silly nickname they come up with) act as they do. It is selfish & deluding behaviour that has nothing to do with the music or artist themselves. I used to laugh reading the insane posts of some of these groups, but now I cringe when I realize these people really do live & breathe artists that they don’t know & will likely never know. The possessiveness these deluded fans feel is so wrong and yet they have no clue. Yikes!!!!

    • TopIdol permalink
      February 7, 2009 6:07 pm

      I’m not a christian (or religious in any way), but what cracks me up more than anything is that I do know one of the big things you’re never supposed to do is “worship false idols”. When I see so much of the Jesus talk regarding a lot of these people, I always think back to that, but they are being complete and total hypocrites.

  9. whyme permalink
    February 7, 2009 12:23 am

    Read “Escape” by Carolyn Jessop if you want to see a cult.
    Idol fans are minor compared to the life she lived in that cult. They are the polygamist cult out of Colorado City, Az. She helped put Warren Jeffs away…that sick basterd.
    Maybe people should just take a step back from American Idol.

  10. Liz permalink
    February 6, 2009 8:28 pm

    Yep- the cult thing is definitely key. I mean, since I was young, my older sister told me all about the mormons, Jehovah’s witnesses, and of course, scientologists. I know all about that brainwashing cult s**t, and you best believe I will never allow myself to get sucked into that.

    I used to be on IDF, and this Archie site called notingdavid (where a bunch of 50 year olds drool over him). And for a while, I was pretty much singing his praises and worshipping the gorund he worked on.

    But after a while, I started calling people out for the perverted comments about a 17 year old, I started questioning his father’s motives, and I always tried to remind them that David was JUST a person, and not some sort of savior of pop music! I even said that I felt his album was full of “sloppily crafted below average pop songs” and that it would probably be panned. After a while, they started accusing me of being an under cover Cook fan, saying that I was just a “hater.”

    That’s when I saw the whole brainwashing factor. If you didn’t constantly sing his praises, you were out. I just thought all of it was way too religious. Religion… scares me in a way, because it’s a way to control people’s thoughts and dictate how they should live. So, yup. After that, I stopped visiting IDF and the fansites. I do read VFTW and MJ’s Big Blog because that cult-like mentality is absent in those places. But as for the idol fansites… not for me.

    PS: Cook is a really smart guy, for doing the college tour. If that doesn’t spell f**k off I don’t know what will.

    • TopIdol permalink
      February 6, 2009 8:40 pm

      Awesome post, Liz!

      Yes, the way these women drool over uh, children is just wrong. A 17-year-old boy? JESUS CHRIST! I bet they watch Dateline all the time, too, but it never clicks that oh, maybe Chris Hanson should be banging on their door.

      I hope you continue to read TI, Liz. You’ve made some excellent comments today.

      My dad’s youngest brother became a Jehovah’s Witness so…I learned early on about cults and how freaky they are. As well as most organized religion. I think its also telling that a lot of the die-hard fans tend to be die-hard Christians. It’s not always the case, but you see it pretty frequently. Mainly because they see Jesus in the boy, or he’s got God in his heart, blah blah blah.

      Danny Gokey is already amassing himself crazy ass fans. Church Music Teacher + Dead Wife / funky glasses x soulful white boy voice = Idol Frau Implosion!

  11. Liz permalink
    February 6, 2009 7:01 pm

    Well, it’s a tough thing with these people.

    I think when they become so into their idols, they loose a grasp of reality. Their life becomes about their idol. If they’re idol is succeeding, they’re happy. If the idol is flopping, they’re unhappy. I think when you look at yourself and realize that your happiness depends on the state of a musician’s career, then that’s when you have to step back and take a look at yourself.

    And, yes, I think you should do this weekly. I wish this site was more popular,because then more people would see the aritcles before getting sucked into that s**t. If you give people a wake-up call, they may be able to stop themselves before they become the scary-stalker type of fan. I don’t think they mean harm for the most part, I think they just get way into things and get carried away.

    • TopIdol permalink
      February 6, 2009 7:24 pm

      I am but one person with a silly WordPress blog. I do this because some people do read it, but hell, I would love to have a bigger audience. Why wouldn’t I? I’ll readily admit it!

      But yeah, if I help one person from going down this sad, sick road, then that would make me feel pretty damn good. Sure, I love to laugh at these women, but I think myself and sites like Idletard and the ilk, we’re just trying to let people know this stupid show has created some of the most bizarre and unimaginable subcultures ever.

      I’ve been telling people the Scientologists are a scary bunch for the last 15 years, but your average person didn’t even bother to read much about them until Tom Cruise jumped on a couch. The behavior exhibited by most of these fan groups is, more often than not, the same damn group-think mentality you see exhibited in cults.

      Funny, I was going to link to a thread that deleted a woman’s reaction to my previous post about Cook and her subsequent reaction because I was a “hateful and jealous blogger”. But that site just now happens to be password protected.

  12. Baylee permalink
    February 6, 2009 11:55 am

    I have to admit that I am much like this woman. It’s embarrassing but true. I don’t watch any other shows like this.. My name is Leigh, and I am an Idol-a-holic! lol
    Before Idol comes on I must prepare to make sure I have my glasses to see, make sure my son is ready for bed so there is nothing to disturb me while I watch. I remind my husband that it is Tuesday and Wednesday night and you know what that means, it’s my Idol night and leave me alone! I get angry at the people who call me during Idol. I’ll look at the phone to see who it is and won’t answer it and say to myself, “Don’t you know Idol is on, have you lost your mind calling me!” I get excited like it’s Christmas morning on Tuesday’s knowing they will be singing that night and I don’t look forward to weekends anymore, just to Tuesday’s!
    I never started voting until Chris Daughtry’s season.. I would vote 50 times each for Daughtry and Elliott Yamin. Then when AI came around the next year I was like, oh I can’t get into this… it will never be as good as last year—- then I got hooked again on Jordan Sparks, Blake Lewis and Chris Richardson and voted with a land line phone and a cell phone at the same time non-stop! My husband and friends were becomming concerned. Then season 6 was over and my life returned to normal (until I went to the AI concert!). And again when season 7 came around, I didn’t even want to watch because it could never be as good as the last…. Boy was I wrong because in walked David Cook to his audition and I went DAM!!!! Reminded me of every singer I loved with his husky vocals. Let’s put it this way, I’m a real estate agent and right when the finale for Season 7 came on, I had gotten an acceptance on an offer we had put in for my client and needed to get it signed and sent back asap… I couldn’t leave the tv so I could go to my office and fax the contract back to the seller… I knew I needed to do it right away in the remote chance the seller would change their minds, but I could not walk away from the finale, I just couldn’t do it. Thank god it all worked out, David Cook won and my clients got the house but geesh, I’m addicted pretty bad…

  13. February 6, 2009 10:17 am

    I……um……..

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