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David Cook: Mensa Idol

February 16, 2009

David Cook wants to heal you with his semi-pompous hand and apparent potty mouth!

Oh, you sneaky little devil, you, David Cook, you…

Every day, I think I like you more.

From today’s Kansas City Star:

American Idol David Cook has added another Missouri venue to his national concert tour — but don’t count on getting a ticket to this one either.

Officials at the University of Central Missouri, in Warrensburg, Mo., — the singer’s alma mater — confirmed Monday that Cook’s representatives verbally agreed to a deal. No firm date has been set.

“We will have a controversy here, I’m sure,” said campus activities director Beth Rutt. Cook is to perform in the 1,300 seat Hendricks Hall on campus. Rutt said Cook’s agents nixed the school’s multipurpose center that can seat more than twice that number.

“He has a preference for small venues,” said Rutt.

She said the first day of ticket sales is expected to be restricted to students only. If there’s any left over, Rutt said alumni and other event season ticket holders will get the next crack.

Cook’s “Declaration Tour – 2009” kicked off Friday in Tallahassee, Fla., and will take him to 40 cities through late April.

Cook, a Blue Springs native, is set to perform Feb. 24 at Westminster College in Fulton, Mo., and at Ameristar Kansas City Casino and Hotel on April 22. Casino box office and on-line ticket sales sold out in six minutes. But Cook’s Web site offers a link to one on-line seller offering tickets for the Ameristar performance priced between $195 and $485.

Cook canceled an April 17 tour date at Northwest Missouri State, in Maryville, Mo., in favor of playing a private party gig in Las Vegas that day.

The Warrensburg university had a couple of legs up in landing the popular singer.

Cook graduated from Central Missouri in 2006. His stepfather, former Raytown school superintendent Grenvell Foraker, works for the university’s Lee’s Summit extension campus as student services coordinator.

David Cook totally biffed at a show this weekend when he slid in a bunch of water he spit out while performing Hot For Teacher. But that’s okay. I’m really clumsy, too, so I can’t really make fun of you. And my cat throws his water around everywhere, so…

Who cares? Cook is a genius!

Every local article regarding Cook’s tour I seem to come across lately contains thinly-veiled references to fans getting their (pink) panties in a bunch regarding the location and size of venue. Gee? Are they getting phone calls around-the-clock inquiring as to how they can get tickets without being students? And even in his alma mater, Cook wants to keep it small and intimate. Why, you ask?

Perhaps Cook wants to minimize the number of women who come and stalk him at the campus/town he called home for four years. Maybe cut down on the women trolling the halls, interrupting classes in the graphic arts department to find out where he might have sat a few years ago even. 

But our brainiac hero Cookie knows venue size and student ID requirements are only one part of the solution. And while I’m sure he wants fans of ALL AGES to enjoy his music, he knows he has to weed out the majority of the stalkers, ill-behaved panty tossers and yes, moral extremists.

See, Cook is a rock singer. Granted, its kind of pop rock, but its rock music. And where is rock music typically played? Bars, concert halls, and other venues which often OH MY GOD serve alcoholic beverages and encourage a raucous vibe among the audience.

(Raucous does not include the throwing of crusty pink panties, mind you.)

So if you’re a David Cook fan, and you go to a show in a bar…on/near a college campus, what exactly is it that you would expect? And wait. Didn’t you see him on Idol? Where he played uh, rock music? 

You know he didn’t actually WRITE that song he sang at the finale, right? He’s a 26-year-old dude with a recording contract whose “living the dream”, promoting an album while out on tour with his buddies. Sweetie, did you really think that when he talked about having the time of his life, there were really rainbows involved?

Oh, that’s sooooo cute. You really did. Can I pat your head?

I have a lot of respect for David, not only as an outstanding artist but as an outstanding human being. I think he’s shown so much integrity, with the way he cares about his family and with how gracious he’s been throughout American Idol. I really have him on a pedestal as a sort of hero. So when’s the last time you heard Superman say f*ck? I know everybody says it but not someone I respect and think a lot of. It was really disappointing.

I also can’t understand this college tour. He could play anywhere. The world is at his fingertips. So why does he choose a poorly promoted, dingy, beer-filled college club with a 350 person capacity that was sold out and sounded like it would turn people away at the door? It’s like spitting on the gift he’s been given, and it’s an insult to all of us who stayed up late pressing redial for him. Why isn’t he playing major venues with someone like Chris Daughtry, at a place that is accessible to everybody? The only reason I can think of that he’s pushing himself on college students is that he doesn’t see himself as a valid musician and artist if he’s not accepted by this scene. He’s doing everything he can, from dropping the f-bomb to covering Alice in Chains, to break away from his squeaky clean, magic rainbow, Mickey Mouse Idol image because I guess that’s how he sees himself. I’m looking for the man who’s living every moment to use his abilities to make someone’s life better and could care less about what that makes him.

And last of all, he always records mediocre versions of his music and ends up shortchanging the person who spent hard-earned money to buy it. He reworks his songs after the recording, taking them to a whole other level. I think we should be able to buy his best as the recorded version, not something that’s rushed and done halfway, that wasn’t completely evolved and thought through in the first place. The things he’s doing now with Permanent, Declaration, and A Daily Anthem are amazing. That’s what I want to spend my money on.

I think he’s capable of so much more.

(Didn’t he kind of have to get an album out real quick or something? And wasn’t he recording it while on that little Pop Tarts Summer of Idols Tour? I recall reading where he was flying back and forth to L.A. to get to the studio on their days off. Does it really surprise you 19E would set oh, I don’t know, hard dates when he had to get something out ASAP so they could make a maximum return on their investment and strike while the iron was still relatively warm?)

I would offer my astute commentary on the above post, in addition to what I pointed out in parentheses, but I think bolding certain sections of this passage explain more than I ever could. Plus, there are a lot of good responses to this woman’s post which mainly touch on this HUGE point:

The woman has create a false, unrealistic image of this guy in her head based only on what she saw on TV. 

She commented on her post in response to all those who disagreed, too, and defended her position:

Sorry to say, you can’t love to swear and still be moral. It doesn’t show integrity to continue to use words that you know bother other people. What’s more, it doesn’t show integrity to choose to include words in your vocabulary deemed obscene by the majority. Nice people, good people don’t do that. They’re more respectful, and even more important, they have the self-respect to not want to be identified with something that could be offensive, even if it is just a stupid word. If you don’t want to be a nice person, good luck living with that. If you think being moral is relative, ask yourself again the next time you’re injured in a car wreck or drowning in a river and want someone to help you. There are some things most of us can agree are the right thing to do, including treating someone else the way you’d want to be treated by not saying or doing something that could bother or offend.

And this is no false image or delusion. Real human heroes actually do exist, even with their imperfection, but if all David wants is to be the insecure creep he sang about, by all means, go ahead and waste a wonderful life. Then when he’s on his deathbed one day, what’s he going to think about? The hollow pursuit of legendary rockstar status? Being accepted by a club scene, with the d*mn good beers, girls to f*ck, laughing your f*cking *ss off, and coloring of profanities, like trying to create Van Gogh out of sh*t on a wall? Or would he want to say he did something good, noble, and valiant with his life, becoming a real life hero? How could there be a choice. Now making love to the love of his life, begging to take a brother’s suffering on himself, focusing millions of people on everything that’s good in this world – now that’s a hero. I dare anyone to disagree with me. And no excuse, no desire to be accepted by a scene and perceived as an influential artist forever cemented in rock history and no pathetic copout that this is just “the way he is” or that he didn’t ask for it, can justify being anything less than all he could be. He owes it to himself.

As for concerts, I don’t think it really matters what he does with his music there, but I do care what he preserves for posterity in a recording. That’s what people will be listening to in 100 years, not some shaky video of four minutes at a show. I do think legacy matters if you have the character and sincere passion to back it up. I really don’t have any more time to make this make any sense so I’ll just have to leave it there.

Last, this is not a joke. I’m not a troll. I had something to say, and I said it. I appreciate the many valid, measured responses in this thread. It says a lot about you when you can see beyond something you don’t agree with and still be able to give a reasonable response. All the best.

Ok, so let me get this straight: If I end up in a bad car wreck or getting pulled under in a river’s undertow, I’m pretty much screwed because I’ve said the F-word a lot? 

Fabulous. Oh, well. 

(Can’t people just lighten up?)

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25 Comments leave one →
  1. cooker permalink
    February 18, 2009 5:09 pm

    Yeah and possibly some more stuff, Good stuff on DAVID COOK! 🙂

  2. heh permalink
    February 18, 2009 5:08 pm

    Hey can you make a blog about adam lambert! whats up with that guy! find the scoop on him!

    I wanna know where he shops and if he does his eyeliner everymorning like everyother girl in america or is it like tattoo’ed on or ya know….something!

    And is he trying to find himself or what? Guy Girl or what is he? lol

  3. cooker permalink
    February 18, 2009 4:59 pm

    Yeah,

    I HEART DAVID COOK

  4. Why permalink
    February 18, 2009 4:58 pm

    So…does anyone have anything else to say about this article?!?

  5. Nice_Guy permalink
    February 18, 2009 4:57 pm

    wow people on these blogs are nuts!

  6. Nice_Guy permalink
    February 18, 2009 4:53 pm

    Oh Yeah,

    $@#$ !@#!@#JDS!@# !@#$@!$&%^&$%!!!!!

  7. Why permalink
    February 18, 2009 4:52 pm

    Stop leaving comments that dont have anything to do with this article!

  8. cooker permalink
    February 18, 2009 4:51 pm

    Good One

  9. boo permalink
    February 18, 2009 4:51 pm

    Hey Nice Guy…

    Nice Guys finish last!

  10. cooker permalink
    February 18, 2009 4:48 pm

    I HEART DAVID COOK

  11. Nice_Guy permalink
    February 18, 2009 4:47 pm

    Nice….

  12. Why permalink
    February 18, 2009 4:46 pm

    Why does everyone cus on here?!?

  13. KMFROCk permalink
    February 17, 2009 9:01 pm

    That woman’s post was truly unnerving.
    I don’t know how you read that dribble all the live long day, girl. I really don’t. Big suprise I know, but some people are mulitfaceted (the best kind) and each part of them is genuine and *gulp* human. Poor widdle Davey Cook just wants to breathe in some stale beer… It’s good for the lungs.
    Fuckitty fuck and all that of course.
    And yay God for nice vocal chords too.

  14. Lara permalink
    February 17, 2009 5:45 pm

    ooh….how very naughty of David saying the “f” word! Someone’s pink panties are really getting bunched up now (MINE!!!) Now, who can tell me where I can hear that??????

    Of course, you could check out a cover he did with his old band of “Creep” – but it’s got some naughty, dirty words in it, too, so maybe you oughtn’t do it!

  15. maxhate permalink
    February 17, 2009 5:35 pm

    oh…and fuck

  16. maxhate permalink
    February 17, 2009 2:33 pm

    The level of intelligence of the readers and comments is going way up. Bravo.

  17. blee permalink
    February 17, 2009 2:06 pm

    anasazisibes – Thank you! Yes, there’s too much “Political Correctness” right now and people need to chill out!

    On a happy note… I have tickets to see David in Virginia Beach on May 30th and I’m pretty excited to go and see him perform live.

  18. anasazisibes permalink
    February 17, 2009 1:04 pm

    blee – A girl after my own heart! All I have to add is…amen. Thanks for not being the only non-fanatic Christian who can enjoy things without being condemned! Way too many people forget the Big Picture & turn hypocritical because of all the human squabbling & greed & power, etc, thus setting a horrible example for real christianity.

  19. blee permalink
    February 17, 2009 12:00 pm

    I’m a christian too, but I can say a choice cuss word now and again in appropriate places and I don’t think I’m going to hell. I can’t stand the high on their horse moral police fanatic religious people. Stop trying to ram your idea of religion down other people’s throats. David is a good, honest, hard-working, sincere, caring person; a decent person and I don’t care if he says F&#K, or S&#%, or any of those words.

    He’s an F’ing rock star, he plays F’ing rock music, you will go see him at F’ing rock concerts…

    What the F do you expect! Magic Rainbows and Unicorns…

    God David, keep doing what you are doing… We/I love it!!!

    I’m 48 years old. I grew up listening to Led Zeppelin, Alabama, Aerosmith. I fell in love with the grunge out of Seattle… Nervana, Pearl Jam, etc. I love a rocker with a voice and as soon as I saw David’s audition, I was hooked on this guy… and not because of his looks at the audition (the mohawk red tinged hair didn’t attract me at the time! lol) so it was ALL about his voice and his vibe and manner.

    Did any of these women ever go to a rock concert or listen to rock music?… or did they just fall in love with a good looking guy on Idol, and turned him into this “perfect being” in their head, forgetting or not knowing where he came from… starting a band at 15 (Axium– hello… ROCK MUSIC); doing a cover of “Creep” by Radiohead and using the F’ word… OMG again that was hot as hell and again, hello… ROCK MUSIC). They need to go listen to their 8-track Bob Denver album and leave David the Rawk Star alone! (no offense to Bob Denver fans,… I love his music too!).

    That’s the funny thing about these religious fanatics… they are all talk and some of them so hypocritical. I love how everyone puts such a big emphasis on attending church every Sunday… but does that make you a good, decent, caring human being… NO, it doesn’t. I see so many people caught committing adultry, embezzling, lying, and doing all sorts of anti-christian things but they attend church every Sunday. The point is that you can say a cuss word and still be a good person and still go to heaven! Rock stars say (OMG heaven forbid it) … cuss words now and again… if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen!

    I teach my son about how to be a good, decent human being and to care for others, especially those less fortunate. We haven’t been attending church for a few years but we read the bible together. He’s a good child, makes straight A’s, and received the “good citizen” award at school for being helpful, kind and good to his classmates. But, I don’t say cuss words around him. But, one day he will grow up and, heaven forbid, he’ll hear cuss words and may, heaven forbid, say one himself. I don’t condone it, I don’t want my child to say cuss words, but when you are an adult, and you are at a rock concert… I kind of expect it. I don’t care for it in regular conversations or hearing it out in public, that bothers me. BUT, if I’m listening to rock music, it’s expected.

    Sorry for the book here but I am just tired of people condemning decent, good, caring people because they said a cuss word….. Give me a break.

    “Those without sin be the first to cast a stone”

    Thanks for letting me vent… :o)

  20. anasazisibes permalink
    February 17, 2009 10:05 am

    Ok, so I mentioned this in another article. I’m a Christian, I consider myself moral, and I cuss a lot. Not in front of kids, not in inappropriate places, not in front of clients. When the kids are gone? Hell yeah. At a rock concert? Hell yeah. Hangin’ with my friends? Hell yeah. As I recall, the Bible just mentions not to take the Lord’s name in vain, so I avoid those. Do I think Cook is any less of a good guy because he likes to play in smoky bars for college kids in a great rock atmosphere & cusses a little while he’s doing it? No,not at all. He’s a normal guy who loves to play music. He’s not a spotless hero & I don’t recall him saying he ever was. I bet this woman is jumping on the Danny Gokey train as we speak! And I personally think that’s ironic considering how I perceive his “church” that seems to be the opposite of what real Christians stand for. This woman sounds like Cook was her own golden child that disappointed her, not a guy she saw on T.V. & fabricated this whole ideal about. It’s dangerous & unfair to hold anyone on a pedestal & then blast them when they don’t fit into the box you put them in!

    And just a note about her bitching about the quality of music he plays??? Is she serious?? Like you pointed out, TopIdol, he was forced to record this album quickley. Of course as he plays things live more & more, it gets better & better. That’s a sign of a great musician! The “artists” who just regurgitate their music, even when it’s picture perfect, aren’t artists in my opinion.

  21. alice permalink
    February 17, 2009 9:14 am

    Oh, fuck that lady.

    And, yeah, I’m starting to like Cook as well. Damn. I absolutely hated everything about that jackass a year ago.

  22. aishiteru permalink
    February 17, 2009 4:45 am

    Awww, don’t worry. David has tons of other foulmouthed fans – like me! FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK I LOVE DAVID COOK! To those sad LOSERS who want to put him in a box : F-U-C-K O-F-F! Get a life.

    Ya think I’m talking about you? You’re right. LOL

  23. heh permalink
    February 17, 2009 12:32 am

    Fuck

  24. February 17, 2009 12:28 am

    Don’t pat his head, you’ll dislodge his wig.

    Douchebag. They’ll pray for his filthy mouth.

    • TopIdol permalink
      February 17, 2009 12:31 am

      I was patting the frau’s head 🙂

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