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Kai Kalama: Vote for this Dude

February 24, 2009

Although he’s been screwed on screentime, Kai Kalama might be one of my top contestants. 

On the last day of October, both he and his musical family celebrate that pagan holiday called Halloween, not harvest fest. He also kind of reminds me of an Idol-ized Citizen Cope. I think it’s the hair. He and his brother also have a band called Offwhite.

I would like to thank my friends at VFTW for finding these stellar picks of Kai Kalama. Who will now be known on this blog as High Kalama. Kalama is also from Hawaii, but I doubt he’ll bust out the uke on the Idol stage. Or will he?

And if the Stoner J fans start flocking to Stoner K, with or without uke, they need to know I will laugh at them when they claim “he doesn’t toke” yet another time. 

So I’m prepared. Which is why I’m posting these AWESOME photos. Thanks, Snot Rag!

Kai Kalama: With hot broads and Zig Zags

Kalama has a scantily-clad chick on EACH arm and a dresser topped with GOODIES!!!

Just because our boy High isn’t a praise & worship leader doesn’t mean he’s not bad ass or spiritual. Check him out doing karaoke! He’s singing an INSPIRATIONAL SONG — Jesus’ Walks by Kanye West!

Kai Kalama sings Jesus Walks

Vote for Kai because he seems like a super-cool guy. He also takes care of his mother who suffers from seizure disorders. The producers were probably planning on pimping the shit out of Kai’s tragic back story…until the blind genius (Scott McIntyre) showed up…then the blind genius got the shaft when the fresh, young widower dude drove down to KC to audition with his BFF. 

So this year, I advocate making a sinner your winner. Put High Kalama in the Top 12.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. February 25, 2009 1:09 pm

    They can’t play instruments in this round so we’re spared for this week at least. If he makes it to the top 12, the Castro frauen will be all over him. I don’t think he has any idea what he’s in for.

  2. February 25, 2009 1:14 am

    I hate to break this to you…
    He does play the uke.

    • TopIdol permalink
      February 25, 2009 1:16 am

      But he won’t bust it out on Idol, right?

      (Have the Castro fans seen this??)

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