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Adam Lambert MIGHT be Kim Caldwell. But definitely has not-great skin.

March 19, 2009

TMZ is typically shit but this post made me giggle.

Adam Lambert looks a lot like Kimberly Caldwell

Yeah. The resemblance is pretty damn scary.

Ironically, Goatlove suggested I blog about Adam’s acne. But this was when I was inebriated and unable to use an entire keyboard and could only punch random letters on my phone. I couldn’t even blog about last night’s shit show. And I wasn’t quite sure what he was talking about at first, given that I was inebriated and everything. And since I don’t really blog about the contestants’ complexions, I was not really sure what I was to say about the state of Adam’s face. Plus, like I mentioned about 6 times before, I was pretty drunk.

But then I saw the above photo and had a laugh. Not only is there a freakish resembelance to Kim Caldwell, but Goatlove was sooooo right. Adam Lambert does not have good skin. Which wouldn’t be a big deal or anything if he wasn’t wearing horrific stage foundation. I guess that shit is supposed to cover your facial flaws underneath those bright lights or some such nonsense, but I think it’s exacerbating Adam’s complexion issues.

Which basically confirms what we knew all along. American Idol’s crack team of makeup artists suck donkey balls. They drown nearly every femaled contestant in a flood of glitter. I swear those chicks can barely open their eyes because they glue on like 5–10 ounces of mirrored confetti on each eyelid. And now they’re making this dude’s teenage affliction flair back up. The guy looks like a pizza with Provel cheese.

Imos Pizza: People in St. Louis are obsessed with what you see in this photo.

Clearly Lambert was better off doing his own makeup or having one of his friends do it. Because his skin looked a lot better pre-Idol.

Adam Lambert: Better skin before Idol

And the glitter application is much better than what we’ve ever seen on Idol. I think the key is to not apply the glitter all in one place and look how the addition of rhinestones breaks up the monotony of all that glittery goodness with even more jazzy pizzazz. There is a really fine line between drag diva and Japanese school girl’s mobile phone. One must tread carefully.

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9 Comments leave one →
  1. April 16, 2009 10:51 pm

    Adam is much prettier than Kim Caldwell.

  2. April 16, 2009 9:48 pm

    Hey!

  3. April 16, 2009 9:47 pm

    I agree. He DOSE were too much foundation!

  4. casey permalink
    April 16, 2009 6:04 pm

    he doesnt have acne
    its freckles
    simple as that

    • punkboi69 permalink
      July 3, 2009 3:25 am

      yea, but it is a fact, they were talking about it on this news show, he does have acne too on top of the freckles hahaha

  5. April 15, 2009 8:29 am

    I follow your blog for quite a long time and must tell you that your articles are always valuable to readers.

  6. April 4, 2009 10:49 pm

    haha, Is that true??

  7. March 19, 2009 6:48 pm

    Adam is a bloodnut, he’s a natural redhead, and is coated liberally in freckles. He’s not hiding acne, but the spots. So he wears wayyyy too much foundation.

    • sara permalink
      April 9, 2009 4:48 pm

      yeah it even showed in his baby pics that he has tons of freckles…he’s just insecure of them

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