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Yay! Its the America Killed Casper but I’m still in a semi-hungover fog Results Show Recap

March 19, 2009

I took some screenshots when watching last night’s rather dull shit show in a hungover stupor this morning. Apparently, I took some last night too, until operating any electronic device proved too difficult.

Of course, while the show was rather dull, there was still the expected terror brought about by the group sing and a laughable Ford commercial. And obviously, we were also lucky enough to witness the stunning defeat of Malnourished Casper Twat!

Yay! If there was any truth in that story about the Final Four being pre-chosen, then I’m glad it came out. ESPECIALLY if Casper was the sacrificial lamb. Now I don’t have to see her again, until she becomes the next female Idol contestant with blond and / or “funky” hair to take up residence in Dr. Drew’s Celebrity Rehab.

Usually, I feel a bit sorry for the kiddies when their time is up, even after making fun of them for their entire duration on the show. Other times, I do not. I cry out good riddance! Get off my TV you conceited nitwit!

And that’s how I feel about Casper. Casper was a legend in her own mind. And I must admit, I am full of glee with the fact this idiot not only blew it so early in the game because of her over-confidence and shitty personality, but because she DID NOT EVEN MAKE THE TOUR! Yay! Buh-bye, Casper, buh-bye. Go back to your trailer park. Like most trailer parks, I’m sure it needs a bit more dirtying up.

Unfortunately, on the group sing, they stuck Blind Guy on the piano. Alas. Doesn’t the guy have more dance training than the rest of these yahoos? Of course, as with every group sing, unintentional hilarity abounds.

American Idol's God Squad: Sarver and Gokey make funny faces for Christ

The girls serenade the judges while Randy takes it in with moronic glee.

What is this shite? Female Idols serenade Randy Jackson

Let’s see a few shots of the goddess known as Tattooed Mormon Joy (Hey, it’s just easier this way because she is likely to change her name again next week.) Matt Girard is in these, too. But he’s not as awesome as Tattooed Mormon Joy. Don’t forget to check out Sarver in the background. PRICELESS!

Megan Joy and Matt Giraud have fun while singing a lame song

Megan and Matt again

Oh Jesus. These two. Speaking of Jesus, did he drive Gokey to the studio tonight?

Dead Wife and Casper

I love Alison Iraheta. I love Anoop Desai. And when I see them like this, more than anything I want to sing drunken karaoke with them. Seriously. How fun would drunken karaoke be with La Princesa del Mariachi and ANOOP??

I want to sing drunk karaoke with Alison and Anoop

So they put some people in the Bottom 3, starting with Alison and Michael Sarver. Then some other people were safe and I began rubbing my hands in glee knowing Casper would be joining them in Idol Hell.

Of course, since Ryan knows who is going home beforehand (or who will have to sing for their life), I wonder if he was trying to send a signal early on. Like when he was introducing the Ford commercial.

The Best Photo EVER of Ryan Seacrest

Of course, he could just really like the color pink. Or pink sacs…Or pink teabags…Or all of the above…But I want to believe he was just trying to let us know Casper would not be haunting the Idol stage for much longer.

And then the Ford commercial started. I took this photo last night. I got a huge kick out of watching Blind Guy chase the car, obviously, as this was the only thing I could fully type while the keyboard moved around in front of me.

Blind Guy is chasing the car! Casper follows

And this just cracked my ass up for some reason. I mean look at it. It’s like Sesame Street or something. And it made me giggle.

Four Dudes on Sesame Street and sponsored by Ford

Ok. So back to the show. Yes, yes. Casper was sent packing. Let’s laugh at her misery.

Get the frak off the stage, Casper.

What’s even better is that she really thought the judges were going to save her. Simon taunted her. I was scared for a second, but come on. Saving her would screw up the Tour since that’s Top 10. So they would have to eliminate 2 people next week and it would be all sad and shit, since all the kiddies would have spent yet another week bonding in the grandiose Idol Manse.

Now it was kind of fun to see the Goodbye Dinner. Yeah, because I’m a sappy chump sometimes. And Jorge and Jasmine were so sweet. I hope they have good lives. Jorge would have lasted longer had he not been thrown under the bus by the songlist bullshit and if the all-mighty Frauen could like someone with more pigment in their skin than David Cook. Of course, this also means we’re gonna have to see Casper for a few moments next week, but its the small price to pay for a spring of prime time TV without her annoying ass polluting my living room every week.

Yes. Casper. I will laugh at your misery one more time. I apologize, but I just didn’t like you very much. And ha ha ha. Your Megan Joy Voodoo Doll? DID NOT WORK!!! So get out of our faces, Casper. Go to Nashville and buy some new boobs. They will look awesome with your trailer.

Boo Hoo Hoo: Alexis Grace goes home

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9 Comments leave one →
  1. lauren722 permalink
    December 3, 2009 10:29 pm

    Oh TI, I wasn’t reading you back when you wrote this. I would have really enjoyed it I think. The whole world cheered when Alexis left. Adam and Kris don’t look the least bit sad in that photo. They are kinda like “Yes! Leave so we can sit next to each other and cuddle!” Well at least that’s what I see…

    • TopIdol permalink
      December 3, 2009 10:32 pm

      Then how the hell did you find me? 🙂

      • lauren722 permalink
        December 3, 2009 10:37 pm

        …You’d make fun of me.

        • lauren722 permalink
          December 3, 2009 10:38 pm

          Actually you know I don’t care. I was googling “Adam Lambert tour reviews” and your site came up. I found you really entertaining so I kept reading.

  2. April 3, 2009 8:49 am

    Hey guys check out this new website celebmemorial.com In memory all the celebrities that died it’s got videos and stuff really nice!

    • TopIdol permalink
      April 3, 2009 2:47 pm

      Don’t spam my blog. I’m only keeping this b/c its a frakked up website.

  3. regineoreamagana permalink
    March 26, 2009 1:00 am

    thank God Casper is out. Her “Jolene” was the worst version ever…..It’s “Giraud”,by the way, not girard.

  4. Ema permalink
    March 20, 2009 5:01 pm

    I actually heard they didn’t hold a going-away party for Alexis. So I guess they won’t have the footage for next week? WIN.

    • TopIdol permalink
      March 20, 2009 6:06 pm

      No. That’s a WIN-WIN.

      (You know she is soooo pissed.)

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