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Paula Abdul Jewelry on HSN

March 21, 2009

Damn. I had been saying she sold this shit on QVC all season. In any case, find out how you can buy a Take My Breath Away Pave Ring…

…and Reach for the Stars Bracelet in gold and silver tones. (As also seen on Twatiana del Toro!!)

Paula also says Simon complimented her on the Take My Breath Away Pave Ring, which I think was just him being sarcastic, but we all know they’re buddy-buddy and shit. Oh whatevia. Everyone knows I love Paula because I love watching her sweet, yet often somewhat-incoherent critiques every damn week. She is such an integral part of this shit show.

I would cry if she left it. And then I would take 2 percocets and wash it down with Diet Pepsi & Captain Morgan. Ooops. I meant Diet Coke. It would obviously have to be Diet Coke or it wouldn’t be a proper tribute. I would even order one of those special Coca-Cola cups the judges are forced to drink from. And I would order a Reach for the Stars bracelet and Take My Breath Away pave ring and wear it with the Snuggie I will also order. And then I would sit on my sofa in my Paula Abdul Jewelry, my Snuggie and wash down my Percocet with my Diet Coke and Captain Morgan in my red Coca-Cola cup and cry for Paula while watching the Opposites Attract video with MC Scat Kat over and over again until I passed out in my tears and cubic zirconia.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. SpinningSpinning2Nowhere permalink
    March 22, 2009 2:28 am

    That is the tackiest shit. I have seen classier shit at the flea market, and for rock bottom prices. I bet if you wear her jewelry your skin turns green.

    • Michelle permalink
      March 22, 2009 2:18 pm

      I read the customer reviews on hsn.com. Apparently all of the Paula Abdul collection turns your skin green!

  2. March 22, 2009 12:29 am

    I want the whole range so that I too can look like a ten cent hooker.

    • TopIdol permalink
      March 22, 2009 12:43 am

      Me too. And I’m going to wear all of it with a beautiful Snuggie.

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