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Megan Joy will always be cooler than Casper and Jason Castro hasn’t stopped hitting the bong: American Idol Extra Recap

April 3, 2009

My apologies for not getting this out sooner but believe it or not, I have a life and get out of my house sometimes.

First off, see? Simon doesn’t hate Megan Joy.

Megan Joy: Of course Simon Cowell would hit that

Actually, it seems like EVERYONE is really going to miss Megan Joy. Why? BECAUSE SHE IS AWESOME. In fact, she is one of my all-time favorite Idol contestants. 

Tonight also brings us Paula Abdul, Stoner J and frakking Malnourished Casper Twat. Christ, I was really hoping I would never have to see her again. 

Notables who attended this week’s show:

  • David Spade
  • Mandisa
  • Harry Hamlin & Lisa Rinna, the couple which seems to live and breathe cheesiness as Hamlin was “touched” by Gokey’s performance. Ms. Rinna is probably just worried about getting to the bathroom to shoot more Restylene in her lips.

(Holy shit. Why am I just NOW noticing the atrocity of Danny Gokey’s performance night ensemble? What the frak kind of shirt is that?)

Danny Gokey's shirt is god awful

  • Dorian Holley (Idol Vocal Coach)
  • Brandon Rodgers (Idol Season 6. I have never seen this guy before.)
  • Debra Byrd (Idol Vocal Coach. For some reason I love her.)

(Megan Joy’s performance was not that bad. Megan Joy is AWESOME. You haters can all suck it.)

  • Lisa Rinna put down the syringe of Restalyne long enough to say she likes Mole Boy.
  • Carnie “Gastric Bypass” Wilson was also there. She likes Adam Lambert. You know what I kind of want to say here but I won’t, but you know you’re thinking it, too. 

Rickey Minor chats with the Good Day LA chick on the frakking Coke Couch. The Coke Couch is ridiculous. Good Day LA chick says she has trouble with a big word like metronome. I don’t have a feeling about Rickey Minor one way or another, but he might be a douchebag.

(Good Day LA chick is fine, but I miss JD Roberto. I will give JD a shout out with each AI Extra blog post so deal with it. The dude is good shit.)

Oh for frak’s sake. Jillian announces the next guest:

The beautiful Alexis Grace!

Oh please. Although I found it funny Jillian Reynolds blurted out something about getting spray tans when Casper Twat came and sat down. Yeah, because homegirl looks like she just crawled out of a coffin. She talks about how she’s such good friends with our beloved Tattooed Mormon Joy, which I don’t buy for a second because Tattooed Mormon Joy is way to cool to be friends with Casper.

Alexis Grace: Casper is coming to a trailer park near you

And from what I have heard from a VERY reliable source, Casper was probably closest to one particular male contestant while residing in the Idol Manse.

Jesus Christ. Casper dresses like a call girl. 

Alexis Grace: Dresses like a mid-rate call girl

In all honesty, no other contestant this season bothers me like one Alexis Grace. Go back to your trailer park, Casper. And make sure your fiancee in Afghanistan never finds out about your little Idol tryst. Heh heh heh…

Paula Abdul comes on over and sounds somewhat coherent while being totally blinged out in her Paula Abdul Collection Jewelry. She talks about how she met Cougar From Hell after missing a flight from NY to LA. While talking about Megan Joy, she gives ample screen time to all her jewelry.

Megan Joy comes out and looks beautiful, obviously. This girl is actually pretty damn smart, too. She knows Idol is a shit show and not the kind of place where someone like her would shine and she says as much. Meanwhile, Paula’s fuchsia flower keeps distracting me.

Megan Joy and Paula Abdul

For all of Paula’s babbling, incoherent drunky talk, teleprompter-assisted critiques, I actually like the woman. Can’t explain it, really. Maybe I just want her meds. Maybe I just think she might actually be a sincere person who honestly wants the best for these kids on the show.

Megan says once she made the tour, her attitude changed and she just wanted to have fun. Which is pretty much the way to do it. MEGAN JOY IS AWESOME!!!

CRAZY EYED HAIRSTYLIST LADY

Raissa Patton: American Idol's Hairstylist

Crazy eyes stylist chick has a name. It is Raissa Patton. And in this Garnier Fructis-sponsored segment, she is obviously, going to talk about Megan Joy’s hair, with obvious product placement.

Ok, now this is interesting. How does one use a “wave-enhancing spray” with a FLAT IRON?

THANK YOU. Megan Joy wonders why they lived in such a big mansion and still had to share rooms. Because she was a cool chick, naturally, she roomed with La Princesa del Mariachi (and La madre de la Princesa, since La Princesa is a minor). Apparently, all the girls, sans Lil, roomed together at first. What the frak is that all about?

Megan Joy says she would just hang out in her closet sometimes. She also says she doesn’t play on the interweb much and I hope she is lying. I really hope she visits this shit blog to see how much I adore her. And hell, she has to know about VFTW since she gave them a shout out every week with adorable bird embellishments on her outfits and her beautiful flight of fancy to the stools. I so do not understand how people hate on this girl so much. MEGAN JOY RULES.

Now Jillian tells Megan she has a HUGE SURPRISE for her, because they asked all the contestants about her and filmed it. I find this funny this is a huge surprise since I have seen it on every episode of American Idol Extra I have been forced to sit through since the inception of my shit blog.

Apparently, they asked Michael Sarver about her, too. They also show her on a Macbook Pro, which is funny, since she says she doesn’t do much on the interweb, but hell, everyone has to use a computer these days. This scene was as evidence to how intelligent she is, which Adam Lambert reported. He also said she was gorgeous. Duh. She is gorgeous and intelligent, which is why I love her. 

Anyway, everybody loves Megan. Of course, Danny Gokey was the only one to make it about him. Because she came up to HIM and introduced herself to HIM and gave HIM a hug. Groan. It’s not always just about you, Dead Wife, ok?

OMG STONER J IS GOING TO CUT OFF HIS DREADLOCKS. Yeah, I doubt this one. But before that frakkery, we’re going to see…

What the Idols would do if they were not singing?

La Princesa del Mariachi wants to be a vet. Blind Guy wants to be a food critic. Hot By Default Fundie Boy would be a professional baseball player. Tattooed Mormon Joy would be a stay-at-home mom, which saddens me, but I think she just had to think fast. Anoop would be back at school full-time working on a doctorate of folklore. I love Anoop. Because I love smart people, damnit. Gokey would be working full-time on his non-profit organization. Yeah, Gokey. Pimp that shit. And christ, what are you wearing here? I can see your wifebeater. Mole Boy would be an actor. Mediocre Rounds would be either a daycare director or a peditrician. Lambert would be a graphic designer. 

I didn’t really get much out of that Q&A, did you?

STONER J INTERVIEW

I can’t believe I used to like this kid. Oh, so much has changed in the span of a year. Stoner J won’t cut off his dreads because it is April Fool’s Day. Yawn. He tells the tired story about how his grifter mother helped him with his dreads. I recall hearing this last year. Take another hit on the bong, buddy. Wow. How can people believe this kid isn’t baked about 15 hours of every day. He’s looking kind of pale, too. Must have been because he was sitting next to Casper Twat and some of her white-osity rubbed off on him.

Stoner J gets to perform Love Uncompromised, which was apparently supposed to happen awhile ago but then there was a snafu involving his grifting mother trying to get those “street teams” together. The song isn’t terrible. It’s actually not bad, kind of cheesy but definitely not unlistenable. He talks about rainy days or something and making you up and then dressing you down. I think it might be one of those ditties that tries harder than it should to be “deep”.

There is about 9 minutes of this shittier shit show left and I realized we have barely seen any Ace Young. That’s a shame. I like Ace Young. Seems like a nice guy and he’s got a killer body. And since I’ve already seen this clip, I know Ace will be finishing out the show with his David Cook on Tour segment, which features some of those notable stalkers, er, fans. Ace Young talks about Ray LaMontagne’s acoustic version of Gnarls Barkley’s Crazy, which was not cleared to be performed on the show, which is why we didn’t see Stoner J’s audition last year. But I like it whenever Ray LaMontagne gets a shout out so whatevia. 

(Am I boring you with this recap? I apologize if I am. But I’m kind of boring myself, too. Alas. It’s been a long week and I’ve been nursing hungover lethargy all frakking day.)

Cook talks about his tour, his video, and his alter ego Terry the Light Tech, which I still suspect may have been borne out of the need to hide from batshit crazy fans before shows.

Wow. I think we’ve seen this girl before. And by now, I’m certain she’s been to more than SIXTEEN FRAKKING SHOWS on David Cook’s Declaration Tour. Wow. You know how much that shit would cost? Must be nice to live such a life of idle leisure in what might be an economic depression.

Serena has seen David Cook more than SIXTEEN TIMES on his tour

Here’s the entire segment. Oh, and Ace Young just seems like a super-nice guy. Ok. Thank Flying Spaghetti Monster that hour of my life is over. Next week on American Idol Extra, we’ll be tortured with Kellie Pickler, who may be the single most loathsome female contestant to ever grace the Idol stage.

Megan Joy, I hope you visit TopIdol one day. And I will buy all of your albums. Because YOU ARE AWESOME!!!

Megan Joy: I already miss you!

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12 Comments leave one →
  1. April 4, 2009 6:51 pm

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    its pinkey2we, and i thought that it would be great if you could check out my random blog http://luhy.wordpress.com. Im really sorry if this is spam, just please check it out and add it to your blogroll!
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  2. Dickory Dock permalink
    April 4, 2009 9:38 am

    Ahahahahaha! Mole Man and Casper! Eewwww. That’s just … wow, I don’t even want to go there.

    I was sorta hoping she’d hooked up with Goatse, his tards would find out, the fandom would go into apocolyptic meltdown, and he’d finally get his sorry dead-wife-pimping ass kicked off the show.

    • Dickory Dock permalink
      April 4, 2009 11:47 am

      Sorry, that should be apocalyptic. Damn fingers.

  3. AIFan permalink
    April 4, 2009 2:49 am

    Aha ! A very appropriate song too….
    She better hope her fiancee does not stumble on this blog.

  4. AIFan permalink
    April 4, 2009 2:14 am

    Did Matt sing “Let’s Get It On” for Smokey ? Does that count as a dedication ?

  5. AIFan permalink
    April 4, 2009 1:29 am

    Oh, and the reason why they share rooms ? I am guessing it’s to prevent the kind of hanky-panky which have been known to go on in years past.

    • TopIdol permalink
      April 4, 2009 1:41 am

      Well, it hasn’t stopped some people 🙂

      I was kind of thinking the male in question sang his Motown Week song as a dedication of sorts…

  6. AIFan permalink
    April 4, 2009 1:28 am

    I must be stupid because I read your Wednesday recap and could not find any clue as to who this mysterious “particular male” is. I hope it’s Scott !

  7. April 4, 2009 12:39 am

    who is this “particular male”? give some hints!

    • TopIdol permalink
      April 4, 2009 12:47 am

      Check my recap of Wednesday evening’s show. There might be a clue somewhere in the post.

      It’s not Kris or Anoop. And I doubt it would be Adam…

  8. April 3, 2009 11:49 pm

    Hello,

    I’m doing research on terrorism, and I’ve put together a pre-survey questionnaire that I’m circulating in order to get feedback on what a non-biased (non-western, white, male) survey might look like. The final survey will go out later this year.

    The survey can be accessed at johnmaszka.com/SURVEY.html

    Would you post it, and possibly circulate it? I’m very interested in incorporating the views of women, non-whites, and people living outside of America and Western Europe.

    I’d appreciate it.

    Thanks!
    Take care,

    John Maszka

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