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The next Shitty Idol Coronation Song has been announced

May 18, 2009

Christ. It is gonna be just as bad as This is The Time of My Now.

And yes! Shit For Brains DioGuardi helped write it, along with the phenomenal talent behind the first ever Shitty Idol Coronation Song, A Moment Like This.

Presenting…

This Is How I Want To Be

And Britney Spears might show up and lip sync. Yawn. You people really should have been working on securing Cher for a duet with Adam Lambert and trying to find a better song than This is The Time Now Where I Want To Be.

The contestants can rearrange the tripe, but they can’t play instruments. But hey. Look on the bright side. We don’t have to hear Gokey scream through this year’s schlocky Idol single. Sorry, dude, you finished right on the bubble. Blame Jesus for dealing you a crap hand…in the right way.

Tomorrow & Wednesday’s festivities promise to be both craptastic and endearing. I’m totally gonna bust out the Captain Morgan 100 Proof for this shit.

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15 Comments leave one →
  1. May 19, 2009 1:07 pm

    I’m actually quite anxious to hear the song. I want to know if it can top “I’ll taste every moment and live it out loud” for pure, absolutely sucks, garbled, meaningless imagery. I mean, last year’s song set a pretty high bar.

  2. May 19, 2009 10:17 am

    A fox affiliate just announced that the coronation song is called “No horizon”

  3. Tessa permalink
    May 18, 2009 7:58 pm

    Why is it that the only OK Idol coronation songs are from the Canadian series? I actually sort-of-didn’t-mind “Meant to Fly” (Eva Avila) and “Alive” (Melissa O’Neil). This is My Now and Time of My Life, however…

  4. beinghonest permalink
    May 18, 2009 7:48 pm

    lol wow biterrrr….

  5. May 18, 2009 7:29 pm

    All Idol songs suck shit. That’s not news šŸ˜€

    Hopefully this one flops so badly Idol DOES can that Kara bitch. Forever!

    • martmart permalink
      May 18, 2009 9:41 pm

      heeeey, I like that strategy… may I make this into the latest nonsensical conspiracy theory? Purposeful-song-suckage?

  6. endywood permalink
    May 18, 2009 6:30 pm

    This is worrisome. A lot of people say 19 ruined Bo Bice’s post-Idol career with their drivel, so let’s hope both Kris and Adam can do something with this crappy obligatory song..UHG!

  7. AIFan permalink
    May 18, 2009 6:28 pm

    “This Is How I Want To Be” what ?

  8. Katherine permalink
    May 18, 2009 6:16 pm

    They should also say that you have to sing in your lower register, and not wail like a banshee. =)

  9. Katherine permalink
    May 18, 2009 6:08 pm

    How LAME is it that they’re not allowing the contestants to play instruments? As if it weren’t obvious enough that Kara wrote the song with Danny and Adam in mind, now poor Kris has to make do without his precious guitar. Talk about REALLY throwing someone under the bus.

  10. martmart permalink
    May 18, 2009 5:31 pm

    Meh, I just start humming that okay-but-loleromg-so-overexposed kt tunstall track when I read that title…

    • TopIdol permalink
      May 18, 2009 7:24 pm

      Why did you do that to me? DAMN YOU MARTMART. Now its in my head!

      • martmart permalink
        May 18, 2009 9:40 pm

        heh, sorry, I guess the only way to remedy pain is to share it with others, so everyone is miserable. Is this not the core point of all talent shows, blogs, and especially, especially twitter? šŸ™‚

  11. pillowfight permalink
    May 18, 2009 5:24 pm

    Sounds like it rates up there with other greats such as “I Do Not Know How To Live My Life” by Harvey Milk or “Rock and Roll is Killing My Life” by Hospitals.

    Well, except not as cool.

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