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Shitty Idol Coronation Song is probably just as shitty, but has a more apt title

May 19, 2009

Presenting No Boundaries. Which is kind of what’s in store for these two come the tour when they get to meet a lot of their fans face-to-face. Yup. That’s right. No Boundaries.

While I’m buoyed with hope that a song with such a “dark” title may have little reference to hope, dreams or God, I’m still certain it will suck, as Shit For Brains DioGuardi did write it.

In other news, Britney Spears won’t be lip synching, which is fine with me, considering I watched her live X-Factor performance while I was in London last November and no one is missing anything.

Lionel Richie will be dueting with Danny Gokey. Poor guy. Especially since David Cook will be performing. Come on, can’t Cook revisit one of his Top 2 performances from Season 7 with a Hello duet with Richie while we play the awesome video in the background, but instead of a girl, Scott MacIntyre is in it, sculpting Billy Joel’s head or something? Completely unrelated yes, but it would be really awesome.

As would a Cher-Lambert duet, but they got Kiss instead. Sorry, folks, Cher would have been soooo much better. All the kiddies will be singing Pink’s So What and Santana’s Smooth, which makes no sense. Oh, and I fraking hate Smooth with a passion. I rank it down there with Ain’t No Mountain High Enough and Black Hole Sun as some of the worst pieces of shit ever recorded.

Lambert is reprising his Mad World performance, but with a twist. Which I imagine will be an extra screech, but I think a better twist would be having his own rabbit sing backup. HBD will either perform Falling Slowly or Heartless, and I imagine he will go with the former since Heartless was performed just last week. But wait! Now he’s probably doing Ain’t No Sunshine. And why the hell is he dueting with Keith Urban? Is Idol trying to make him a country singer since they haven’t had any successful ones in awhile? (Good thing he’s not doing that Garth Brooks song again, you don’t want to encourage Idol and their weasely ways.) La Princesa will be peforming with Cyndi Lauper. I hope they get their hair done together, b/c that would be cool. It would also be cool if Lou Albano came along for the festivities, too.

16 Comments leave one →
  1. Katherine permalink
    May 20, 2009 4:46 am

    Ummm… I think Captain Lou Albano is dead. xD

  2. May 19, 2009 10:13 pm

    has there been a worse coronation song?

    • TopIdol permalink
      May 19, 2009 10:28 pm

      Aren’t they all terrible? I think they all sort of say the same thing, they just use a thesaurus and try to change up a few words here and there.

  3. endywood permalink
    May 19, 2009 9:19 pm

    YEP, it was pretty shitty. A song that even Adam Lambert couldn’t make sound good really, really sucks big time!

  4. deez permalink
    May 19, 2009 9:18 pm

    Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my. “No Boundaries”, what was that shitfest? THat was the epitome of SUCK. I hope nobody wins. NObody deserves to have to sing that “song” ever ever again. And much less SING it, I hope I never have to HEAR it again. I may have elective surgeryif the stations around here play that. Can you get an Earectomy?

    • Dfeel permalink
      May 19, 2009 9:20 pm

      Erm, in contrast to the past Coronation songs, this one isn’t bad at all.

      • deez permalink
        May 19, 2009 9:24 pm

        You are a more forgiving person than I, then. It sucked ass from the deepest pits of hell.

        • Katherine permalink
          May 20, 2009 4:47 am

          Totally agree. This was the WORST Idol coronation song in the history of shitfest coronation songs.

          They should never only have one coronation song. Couldn’t they pick an alternate from one of the loser songs from last year?

  5. Dfeel permalink
    May 19, 2009 7:03 pm

    Ain’t No Sunshine is much better of a choice, he needs to go for what shows his originality and relevance, and Falling Slowly is too much of a showcase on his vocals, and Adam has the vocal greatness already locked down. Ain’t No Sunshine isn’t so fresh in our minds either, so it’s perfect.

  6. May 19, 2009 7:01 pm

    We just had an earthquake here in downtown LA. It’s God weighing on teh gey v. teh Christian!!!

    • TopIdol permalink
      May 19, 2009 7:56 pm

      Another earthquake? WTF? I thought Pastor Rolex left town!

  7. Jenn permalink
    May 19, 2009 3:31 pm

    HBD ain’t country. And him choosing that Garth Brooks song was sneaky… it’s actually a Bob Dylan song 🙂

    I would LOVE him to do Falling Slowly again, but I would be happy with Ain’t no Sunshine too.

  8. SarahBeth permalink
    May 19, 2009 3:01 pm

    Id like to see Cook sing “hello” with Lionel Richie. I think that’d be cool.

    And also?

    Kris singing “ain’t no sunshine” possibly?

    That would be excellent.

  9. deez permalink
    May 19, 2009 2:49 pm

    Little D has reappeared on MJ (unless it’s an imposter),and says Kris is doing Aint No Sunshine.

  10. deez permalink
    May 19, 2009 1:53 pm

    Mj has backtracked…no FS or Heartless, (she doesn’t say what though).
    Some are speculating that MW will be a cappella.

    And, OF COURSE they want to make HBD a country singer…he is from the SOUTH, and their limitless imaginations have led them to this conclusion.

    • TopIdol permalink
      May 19, 2009 3:02 pm

      He’s from the South! He wears t-shirts! OMG. He is soooo country!

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