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“I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him!”

May 22, 2009

Some awesome reader sent this to me. And I don’t think a lot of people have found it, considering when I checked, there were less than 3000 hits.

I know there are gonna be asshats who will insist upon signing the guestbook. Why? You weren’t there. You weren’t invited. So don’t sign the damn guestbook.

I’m not even excessively tagging this crap because I feel bad posting it…wait, ok, no I don’t. But you know what I mean.

Don’t sign the guestbook.

41 Comments leave one →
  1. d. b. cooper permalink
    May 23, 2009 1:54 am

    WTH? How is my comment responding to deez above deez?

  2. d. b. cooper permalink
    May 23, 2009 1:52 am

    Well, when your last name is Bush, is it any surprise that your insiders might have provided you with β€œnon-facts?”


    George Tenet guaranteed Billy those numbers were a slam dunk. After all, Dick Cheney personally waterboarded Simon Fuller and he spilled all.

  3. beinghonest permalink
    May 22, 2009 11:23 pm

    i have to say i agree with u on this crazy people buying stuff for people theynever met wth? and I also say who is dummy enuff to tell the douchey Billy crass ass bush anything he kept talkng about adam adam didnt win get over it he will be huge anyway poor kris and i just bet a bottom dolar that adam and kris had one of those sometimes awkward gay moments but he i wouldnt be suprised adam is sexy n charming sweet and intelligent and has one hell of a back end on him better than a womans lol adam i am kinda pissed hes gay man that sucks its a shame how the media blows shyt out of porportion I swear if I am ever famous i am an aspiring actor after all I will have my finger in the air to all bs rumors I just hope i dont become a public figure cuz the faster u bulid up the quicker they are to tear u down such a shame clay dissed adam and dats just great adam is better den him and he is just another hater they have alot n common both guy both broadway boys both wear makeup both have their own swagger they should be married o shyt wait its not legal yet…dam

  4. Katherine permalink
    May 22, 2009 10:55 pm

    Oh come on! Don’t make fun of the registry. They’re down-to-earth people who probably don’t need designer stuff in Arkansas. It’s not like they expected to be thrust into the limelight in their first year of marriage. Plus, they’re barely out of college. They probably just wanted to get the basics and build from there later on.

    It must be tough for newlyweds already without the added pressure of Kris’s sudden fame and notoriety. Plus, the whole KRADAM thing, of course. πŸ˜‰ I don’t think Katy has to worry about other girls turning Kris’s head. She might have to worry about his awesome bro-love for Adam, though!!!! xD

    • TopIdol permalink
      May 22, 2009 11:01 pm

      It’s not so much as I am making fun of the registry, but more of the people who will find it and then buy things…for people they’ve never met πŸ™‚

    • Mr. Antichrist permalink
      May 23, 2009 3:05 am

      Um, they weren’t “thrust” into the limelight, they went and sought it out. No one forced him to go on a reality television program. And no one forced her to get headshots taken for her own Hollywood ambitions.

      If they didn’t know what they’d be getting themselves in for, then they’re morons. They put themselves on display in the freakshow that is reality television, they’ll have to get used to being gawked at, made fun of and obsessed over.

      Of course, he’s likely to fade away into obscurity in a few months, so there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

  5. May 22, 2009 8:18 pm

    Wow, fucktards who signed the guestbook…
    Did you see this latest ‘God’ entry? It’s scarily rude…

  6. insaneinthesfv permalink
    May 22, 2009 2:57 pm

    Wow, those two are just so sweet! Excuse me for a moment. *vomits*

  7. May 22, 2009 2:53 pm

    I was hoping this was a fake wedding registry for Kradam. Heh heh.

    • Jennifer permalink
      May 22, 2009 3:05 pm

      Ooooh! Project!

      • May 22, 2009 3:14 pm

        Check out the Kris-initiated Ho!Yay! with Adam:

        I am not kidding when I say I am on the verge of writing Kradam slash fic.

      • TopIdol permalink
        May 22, 2009 4:10 pm

        Ok. Who wants to make a Kradam registry?

        • May 22, 2009 4:45 pm

          I’ll take one for the team. πŸ™‚

  8. d. b. cooper permalink
    May 22, 2009 2:31 pm

    Don’t worry, I won’t sign the guest book. I don’t know these people.

    She is that person that is going to make you smile and laugh, but she won’t mean to.

    That doesn’t sound like a compliment.

    I put the odds at 2-1 that they have about five kids in the next decade and that they lead a very happy life mostly out of the spotlight (though, obviously, they’ll always be royalty in Arkansas, free cheese dip for life and all). Or he could be very successful in the music industry, since he does have talent and broad appeal.

  9. AIFan permalink
    May 22, 2009 2:11 pm

    The registry lists are still online. All I can say is that they’ll have a lot of crap to haul to LA. Either that or they’ll have to hold a huge garage sale. But, oh dear, look at this:

    Key to My Heart Bottle Opener ?
    “Love Beyond Measure” Heart Measuring Spoons in Gift Box ?
    “Whisked Away” Heart Whisk ?

      • AIFan permalink
        May 22, 2009 2:59 pm

        What the hell is that ? Why would you want to keep sugar moist ?

    • Mr. Antichrist permalink
      May 22, 2009 7:09 pm

      I’d buy her a dildo. Didn’t find it on the list though.

      • TopIdol permalink
        May 22, 2009 8:08 pm

        God signed the Guestbook!

        from: God 5/22/2009
        Hi there, this is God. First off, I would like to congratulate you two on your marriage and wish you the best of luck fending off the many groupies who will be camping out around Kris for the next couple of years. Second, you really must know that I never had a son. This ‘christ’ fellow was just another nutcase wandering around in the desert. There were tons of them back then. Anyway, got to get back to creating wars, causing natural disasters, killing people with diseases and/or starving them to death. All in a days’ work. Well, who am I kidding? Torturing you all is the best part of this job. Hey, but that’s why I’m God and you’re not. So suck it.

  10. May 22, 2009 1:43 pm

    What’s the over/under on this marriage falling apart due to the stress of celebrity and the sudden abundance of fawning poontang? One year? Before the album drops, or after? Sorry, I’m just being realistic. Humans are humans.

    • AIFan permalink
      May 22, 2009 2:12 pm

      Daughtry and Bo Bice are still married. Bucky dumped his wife within the first year. So they have a chance.

  11. Jennifer permalink
    May 22, 2009 12:00 pm

    Disturbing. They have no fucking clue what they are in for. The tards are going to eat them alive.

  12. Beasties Son permalink
    May 22, 2009 11:32 am

    I am afraid this kid will go the route of Taylor Hicks if he sticks with the 19E route. As soon as that stone is off his neck I hope he runs and gains some charisma.

    Adam is a showman, but as Gene Simmons said after the show “he isn’t a rock star”. He’ll do well no matter what. All thr frauen and tards kill me with the consipiracy theories. If 38 million votes came from Arkansas alone for Kris, do the math, no way Glambert could have won.

    I don’t care who wins the shit show I just love all the drama in the wings!!

    • Katie Stanford permalink
      May 22, 2009 12:10 pm

      38 mil – that’s been debunked. getwith the program! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

      The reason I care is that it just bothers the shit out of me that millions of tards get duped. I don’t care if they are tards – they pour their heart into this and AI just manipulates the hell out of it. No one ever knows who truly won. And unless they open up their phone system and voting to full and independent transparency no one will ever know.

      But, guess they will just milk as hard as they can until most people figure it out.

      • TopIdol permalink
        May 22, 2009 12:15 pm

        I like the fact newspapers printed that story, which was the only reason I posted it. Heh heh heh.

        I do wish they would release the vote tallies, though. It would be interesting to see that info by state, hour, etc. But wait.

        It would give them another way to fix the show. They should welcome the challenge, hell, if they managed to get Coretta Scott Mercado in the Top 3, anything is possible!

        • Katie Stanford permalink
          May 22, 2009 12:50 pm

          YEP. Just the vote totals won’t do anything without knowing exactly how many lines were open.

          Guess you heard – I saw a psting elsewhere — supposedly, they were smart enough to do this in Arkansas. I am not voting expert – but the way I understand it is that they used auto dialers to jam Adam’s lines. AS eveyone but me probably knows, an auto dialer takes many times longer than a regular call because it waits for the entire message along with the AU disconnect signal before it redials?? Actually, this is a pretty brilliant strategy.

  13. marsha santoso permalink
    May 22, 2009 11:28 am

    man, does anyone else find it HIL-freaking-ARIOUS that total strangers signed this thing?? like, hello, BUTT OUT. HAHAHA

  14. Katie Stanford permalink
    May 22, 2009 10:52 am

    guess there’s no Neiman Marcus in Conway

  15. AIFan permalink
    May 22, 2009 10:43 am

    They registered at Target ? So high class.

    • TopIdol permalink
      May 22, 2009 11:43 am

      Don’t diss Target!

      If they registered at Bed, Bath & Balls, I would totally buy him a pair.

      • AIFan permalink
        May 22, 2009 1:55 pm

        She is the one who’ll need it.

    • deez permalink
      May 22, 2009 9:31 pm

      Target and BB&B and Pottery Barn are probably easy to find in a town of 50,000…”high class” places not so much. What would poor college kids do with a bunch of expensive shit anyway? It would just get all smashed up at the next weekend party.

  16. Katie Stanford permalink
    May 22, 2009 10:43 am

    On second thought, moron was too strong. Rephrase: simple-minded.

    With all the cool sharp people Kris will be meeting, he’s going to get totally bored with her. But, being such a nice guy, he’ll just learn to live with it.

    • AIFan permalink
      May 22, 2009 10:44 am

      Well, in all honesty, he seems pretty simple-minded himself. Aw shucks !

      • Katie Stanford permalink
        May 22, 2009 10:50 am

        I don’t know. He was sharp enough to realize that there was no way mathematically possible that Adam didn’t really win – down 20-30 million in online polls with huge samplings on the morning of the final.

        • AIFan permalink
          May 22, 2009 1:55 pm

          Online polls are highly unreliable.

        • May 22, 2009 8:20 pm

          You can’t really predict everything in life with statistics… no one knew about Arkansas voting 38 million until afterward…

          • TopIdol permalink
            May 22, 2009 8:21 pm

            Supposedly, that is false now, but who knows…and why the hell does Billy Bush keep talking about the votes being “not close”. Who would tell him shit?

            • deez permalink
              May 22, 2009 11:26 pm

              Well, when your last name is Bush, is it any surprise that your insiders might have provided you with “non-facts?”

  17. Katie Stanford permalink
    May 22, 2009 10:15 am

    Yikes – she sounds like a total moron

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