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Top Idol Goes to a David Cook Show: Part Deux

May 27, 2009

Ok…so where did we leave off? Ah, yes, in that in between time between Ryan Star and David Cook.

Although I was able to get decent photos of Star and Co. from the side of the stage, I figured I would try and see how close I could in the center for when Cook came on.

Yes. That was a BRILLIANT idea on my part.

I’m in about 3-4 rows deep and in the center when the show is about to start. The lights dim. I didn’t even want to stay there for the entire time, just so I could take a few picks. I was able to move through the crowd to a somewhat roomy space directly in front of someone who was taller than me, so I thought hey, I’m safe.

The band members come out, I get my camera ready.


What looks like a mother and her adult daughter, both sporting gin & tonics (or vodka & tonics, I have no clue, but just because it’s clear and has a lime doesn’t mean you’re cool) have appeared next to me.

Okay, I think I should mention here that there was AMPLE room for the three of us. I just looked at them, shocked. And while I would have LOVED to have launched into a huge diatribe about how the show is standing room only and no one has assigned seats, not to mention the fact there was clearly room for me, I just didn’t have the energy. I didn’t want to be anywhere near these twats. So I start moving.

Some people let me through and I’m almost at the edge and I encounter a couple of other twats, one of which has a black handbag (about the size of my shoulder bag, which is fairly large as I use it for everyday) sitting between her feet. I have respect for people’s bags and I wasn’t about to step on it. So I’m trying to step over it. I try telling her, your bag is here. But the dumb bitch is nudging it with her feet to prevent me from getting through.


No shit, Sherlock.


After I glare at them once more, they finally budge to let me through. Are you kidding me? Because you’ve stuck your handbag on the ground, that just automatically means NO ONE can get through? Yeah. Real smart.

One of my close friends from grad school was in the Station fire in 2003. She lost three of her best friends and spent time in the hospital after the accident. I have never met anyone with such an optimistic disposition and amazing attitude towards life. She is one of the sweetest people I ever met and this girl has been through so much. And at this moment, I thought about her, and I thought about that tragedy, where over 100 people died because the crowd was too packed and exits weren’t appropriately marked. Granted, nightclubs all over the country tightened things up after this happened, particularly in New England, but hell, what were to happen if David Cook used pyrotechnics in his shows and some freak accident happened? Would exit signs matter? Or would half these women just try to see how he was getting out and try making a mass exodus in his direction?

I get to the edge again, take some photos and by this time, I’m exhausted. I have no more energy to deal with these bitches. The music is good, and I don’t know all the songs, but they’re still putting on a solid show. However, I gotta admit, I would have been enjoying it more and I not been bounced around by such women who only seemed to care about staring at this guy in the best spot possible. If it’s all about the music, well, there wasn’t a bad seat in the house and the venue had quality acoustics.

I buy another beer and go to the side I was originally on. I end up in a coversation with an older woman who I notice is wearing a Medic Alert bracelet. She tells me she just wishes Cook would come into the audience. She is nice, even though I realize I haven’t been to a concert with a grandma wearing a Medic Alert bracelet since my Dad dragged me to the Andy Williams Christmas Show when I was eight, I can’t hold that against her. She had no interest in shoving me, nor was she holding up any obnoxious signs or Flat David Cook / Flat David Cook Bandmates.

Anyway, at this point, I was able to get a lot of photos. Some of which I posted before, and here are a few others:

David Cook in Northampton

And here is a kind of fun one of drummer Kyle Peek. He’s pretty damn good.

Kyle Peek on drums

And here is one of guitarist Andy Skib! Wow! He looks so much better three-dimensional, right?

Joey Clement on bass

And yet one more of David Cook.

More David Cook in Northampton, MA

Oh, btw, I didn’t see the Front Row Crew shoving anyone, but they busted out some gigantic handfan when he took the stage. I have no clue what this mean and can only surmise it’s purpose was to cool down David Cook or Neal Tiemann (Cook’s guitarist). And it was really, really big.

Giant Handfan at David Cook show

I then decide to make my way back up to the “disabled” section, but on my way, I run into one of the awesome chicks we met in line. She asks me if I’ve seen her friend, I reply no. She says, that’s cool, she’s crafty, she’ll find me. I laugh. She tells me she took the most incredible photo for me. (Which I am posting again because it is AWESOME)

The Greatest David Cook Fan EVER

So we’re having a good time and then all of the sudden, some dumb bitch who I didn’t even realize was in front of me, because there was at least 6 or 7 inches between us (remember, it was standing room only so people packed themselves in), turns around and yells at me.


I look at my new friend in disbelief. Her mouth kind of drops open, my mouth has dropped open. We don’t get it. So I decide, I’m going to take a photo of her, even if its just her back…just because I want to commerate her complete and utter bitchiness on this blog. Seriously, woman, have you ever been to a show before? Sometimes lots of people pack into a single space for the sole purpose of listening to live music. It’s an incredible thing, really, its been happening since probably the dawn of…music?

Some dumb bitch who can't handle people standing near her at a David Cook show

If you ever see the woman with Fanci-Full blond hair, remember, don’t stand too close to her, okay?

I make my way back to the “disabled” section. Finally get to check on Niftywench and Mistress P. Mistress P is pissed and wants a cigarette. As you’re not supposed to block the small walkway in this area, people weren’t listening. So she asked another pair of women who was in her way to move. They were hanging out on the steps. Apparently, they didn’t want to move and the taller of the two snapped back at Mistress P.


Mistress P looks both women up and down to see if there are any tell-tale handicaps. She can’t find anything.


The taller woman rolls her eyes at her, meanwhile, the shorter one is drinking a Bud Light and not even paying attention.


Mistress P relays this exchange to me and I realize it is totally time for us to go have a cigarette. She needed one and I sure as hell did, too.

Around this time, David Cook DID bust out one song I was really SURPRISED to hear him do. Call me a dork, whatever. This shit is still in rotation on my iPod and is one of only FOUR songs I have ever downloaded from American Idol. Luckily, SarahBeth sent me her copy, so you may also relive the awesomeness of Always Be My Baby, too. Apparently, the band had only just learned this because of their recent trip to Manila and the Filipinos wanted to hear Idol Music.

Around the same time Mistress P and I go downstairs, one of my readers, DJ River (Hey, I always like to protect the innocent) was also experiencing a bit of fan trouble of her own, which she emailed me about the next morning.

I got there at like, 2 and we were already probably at least 90-100 people back. But once we got inside, I managed to get 2nd row, Neal side. There was this FUCKING LADY in front of me who was proabaly 5’8 or so – I’m pretty short and she would NOT MOVE when I asked her to move over and then she said to a girl behind me who was smaller then me “Oh did you get here at 4am?” WTF. So I got squished over next to the speakers thanks to some other really nice people who made some space so i COULD see.Β  we weren’t mean or rude to her in any way/shape/form, I was being really polite and I figured that she might be able to slide down a little (there was space) and It just pissed me off that she wouldn’t. Then during Come Back To Me, her and a bunch of people had weird pictures of Andy on popscicle sticks that they were waving – which made taking pictures/video hard because I had said tall woman’s HAND in front of me every single time I tried to take a picture – thankfully, I was standing in front of a really sweet girl (who I felt badly about stepping on or putting my hands up to take a picture but she was in the same boat that i was).

Then after, I was standing around waiting for Ryan Star to sign my CD, I was talking to girl who said there was a slutty girl need her who gave a security guard a hand job to try to get closer to David (but it didn’t work becuase we were all so crammed, there was no where to go). This girl said that she saw the security guard walk by her zipping his pants up. But SERIOUSLY?

I had a really great time, honestly though.

Whoa. Who was offering up handies to security??? You people have no shame, oh, and it seems DJ River encountered the SAME woman I had met earlier in the day…

Flat Andy Skib

I figure this is a good way to end Part Deux (I was soooo trying to keep it down to two parts, but hell, I think its another trilogy. Damn my obsession with detail) and it sets the stage perfectly for the exciting conclusion in Part Trois.

38 Comments leave one →
  1. Flat_Andy_Fan permalink
    June 8, 2009 1:06 am

    I’m the one who made the Flat Andy’s. I do apologize for blocking anybody’s view. I don’t bring signs because of that reason. I should have told people to just hold them up for a few seconds or keep them low. I don’t personally know the lady holding the Flat Andy with the Cheezits. She just asked for one.

    Just to clarify I didn’t doctor the photo. Andy did that himself and posted it on his MySpace before the tour started. He posted funny pics of David & Neal, too. I just thought it would be something fun to get autographed but then David stoled my autographed Andy in Knoxville and I never got it back. So we brought an army of them to this show as payback. It’s basically a running gag where they come out during Come Back to Me.

    I wasn’t going to bring them anymore because I thought it was getting old but my friend talked to Joey a few weeks ago and he said we should bring them to every show because they’re “effin’ hysterical” and Andy will crack up every single time. We also ran into Joey and Andy at the last show and I asked Andy if he hated us for it and he just smiled and laughed.

    I have the means to attend several shows. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. They put on a fantastic live show. I’m not delusional and I don’t think I’m going to date David or any of the band. I know they’re not my friends. I just really enjoy their music and there’s such an amazing energy at their live shows. If I get to meet any of them after the show, it’s just a bonus. I don’t expect it.

    I just wanted to clear that up. Continue with your mocking.

  2. June 3, 2009 11:30 am

    where is part trois? im loving your details and opinions.

  3. Lola permalink
    May 31, 2009 10:04 pm

    I just knew it was gonna be that tall, dark-haired woman with the Flat Andy. The back of her head somehow became the focus of every single picture I took of David that night.

  4. Bella627 permalink
    May 28, 2009 5:41 pm

    I’m gonna say she was about 21 or 22. I hope her friend ditches her because she looked miserable the whole time. I so wish I got her picture but I was too busy pretending she didn’t exist while she shoved us all around. I take joy in the fact that it got her nowhere. Has anyone heard if David even came outside afterwards? I saw some other equally obnoxious people waiting around his bus and was wondering if there ridiculous behavior I missed out on!

  5. Verbally Dyslexic permalink
    May 28, 2009 2:47 am

    My friends and I flew to Manila from Malaysia to catch David Cook and his band perform. Happy to say the concert was really good with no untoward incidents (well, not within earshot anyway. A lot can happen when 40,000 people gather in one place!).

    I used to frequent the online forums like DCO and the Word Nerd Home when he and I were hot and heavy (in my mind), but when my obsession settled into something tamer I retreated back to real life. Since then I’ve been hearing a lot from some friends about the fan madness that goes on at some of the college tour shows and it freaks me out! No point in analysing why people do what they do, but it sure makes me feel like giving some of them a beatdown!

    As for the handy girl.. I have no words.

    You must be saving the best for Part 3. I will wait patiently (not really).

  6. Bella627 permalink
    May 27, 2009 9:53 pm

    I stumbled across your blog when searching for other people’s reviews of the Northampton show and I’m super glad I did because you are hilarious! I really enjoyed reading your recap and I am SO GLAD someone else witnessed that God-awful girl with the security guard!! This girl was TERRIBLE. We had all been standing there from the time we got in the door. It was annoying enough when that security guard (who looked stoned out of his mind) made us all move so he could park himself there, blocking most of our views and forcing us to shuffle, but the real chaos started after Ryan Star finished. They made everyone on that side of the stage move back a few feet so they could get all their equipment off the stage. Well most of us obliged and moved over. However, several people from the BACK who weren’t even there when the show began decided that meant they could all run up and fill in the space we created. Security was no help at all and one woman’s husband (who was about 8 feet tall) ran up and just stood there. I thought there would be a riot as he successfully blocked the view of about 30 people. His wife got mouthy with security and they both finally moved. During this chaos, “purplegirl” and her friend ended up behind me and my friends mother. She kept trying to get in front of us but my friends mom was totally blocking her every move. Then she proceeded to go off for about 20 minutes to her friend about how shes “not scared of us and watch just watch her shes gonna get up there watch watch”. Seriously about to punch her at this point. She started making rude comments about us and other people around us who would not let her in front of us. As David took the stage, I actually watched this girl take her knee to my friends mom’s back and shove her way up to the security guard. I thought I was seeing things but everyone else saw it too, as purplegirl gave this guy a handjob right in the middle of a crowd of people packed in like sardines!! Did she really think this 17 yr old kid has ANY pull? The most ridiculous part is, at least her friend has a conscience so she wouldn’t push us all out of the way and stayed put. So purplegirl ended up going BACK behind us with her friend and spent the whole rest of the show talking to her with her back to the stage and texting on her phone. UNreal. Sorry for the super long comment but I had to share that story!!

    • TopIdol permalink
      May 27, 2009 10:02 pm

      Bella, thank you!!!

      I so wanted to learn more about the girl giving handies to security guards. How old was she? Hmmm…lot of good it did her, huh?

      • dukie permalink
        May 27, 2009 10:38 pm

        Just out of curiosity, is this security guy one of Cook’s security or did he work security for the venue? Sounds lovely . . .

        • TopIdol permalink
          May 27, 2009 11:16 pm

          It was security for the VENUE.

          I mean, come on. If you’re gonna give anyone a handy that might get you in with the band, it better be with a ROADIE. Hell, roadies also RELY on that shit to get them through life. Club security? That’s just a part-time job for college students.

          Next time, I hope “purplegirl” handles the situation better.

  7. bookdawg permalink
    May 27, 2009 8:59 pm

    No need to feel guilty…and if you’re downloading La Princessa, I actually recommend “Someone To Watch Over Me” and her “Slow Ride” duet with the Glambert.

  8. Andrea permalink
    May 27, 2009 8:18 pm

    Dammit. I thought I’d go to a HBD concert someday, but now I’m frightened.

    Also, I’m a nosy bitch – what other three AI songs have you bought?

    • SarahBeth permalink
      May 27, 2009 8:43 pm

      You’re not a nosy bitch because I want to know the same thing. πŸ˜€

      • TopIdol permalink
        May 27, 2009 8:55 pm

        Ok. In Season 4, I downloaded Bo Bice’s I Don’t Wanna Be, which I find completely superior to the original lame version.

        And then I downloaded Cook’s Always Be My Baby last season after that episode, but I downloaded Billie Jean later on only because there was no studio version of Hello.

        This year, after the finale, I downloaded Ain’t No Sunshine. I was really unimpressed with the studio version of She Works Hard For The Money when I played a snippet. It sounded like some shit in an 80s singles bar (or what I’ve seen of those on made-for-TV movies). And I’m still considering downloading Heartless, and maybe something by La Princesa, because La Princesa RULES. Perhaps her and Lambert’s Slow Ride? But I have to admit, I haven’t listened to the snippet of it yet. I don’t really go and do that on iTunes that often, actually.

        So there you go πŸ™‚

        • SarahBeth permalink
          May 27, 2009 9:47 pm

          Yes, definitely download Slow Ride! Its really good!

          And Heartless too. I also loved Kris’s Apologize. And Adam’s Mad World.

          Those would be the 4 I recommend.

        • Andrea permalink
          May 27, 2009 11:22 pm

          I always check out youtube before I buy the studios. I agree on “She Works Hard for the Money.” Did not have the same appeal as the live version. “Heartless” studio is different from the live too, but still really good. But yeah, search for the stuff on youtube if you are reluctant to buy off of a 30 second preview.

          “Slow Ride” is good, but I really loved “Cry Baby” and “Someone To Watch Over Me” studios. “Slow Ride” was just as good visually as it was to listen to, so I think I preferred the live version.

  9. Cam permalink
    May 27, 2009 5:36 pm

    I had some of those flat Andy waving assholes in front of me at the show, what the hell!? I was too many rows back to rip them out of their hands or tell them to put them the fuck down. Was Andy turning his back to the crowd because he was totally embarrassed or what?

    • dukie permalink
      May 27, 2009 6:43 pm

      It appears that the Cooktards have splintered off in several sub-groups: we have the Andytards, who wave the flatandys (and my gawd is that a hideous picture of Andy or what?!?); we have the dr.tards who wave obnoxious signs regarding various sexual acts; and I believe there even may be a few lonely joeytards and kyletards in the mix. Perhaps they are giving up on their Cook fantasies and have decided to settle for one of the band members.

      • TopIdol permalink
        May 27, 2009 8:58 pm

        What about the Neal Tiemann people?

        • dukie permalink
          May 27, 2009 9:12 pm

          Yes, I call them the dr.tards as David always refers to Neal as “The Doctor”. There definitely seems to be a growing population of these nutjobs. You know, the ones with the “kneel for Neal” signage? Real classy ladies, this bunch. Leave the signs (and flat Andys) home, people! You know, I actually like Cook. By all accounts he seems to be one of the good guys. But sometimes I am really embarassed for him.

        • Cam permalink
          May 28, 2009 2:42 am


          these tards have to totally embarrass Cook and his band, how can they not? I was absolutely horrified when I saw the flat Andy’s waving all about and couldn’t believe they would do that sort of thing at a rock concert. It isn’t the Idol Pop Tarts tour, for Christ’s Sake! What a bunch of idiots. I actually enjoyed the show itself, but NOT the juvenile antics from certain fans. And I really don’t see the purpose of the dirty signs, do they think Neal will fuck them or something? No offense, but I eyeballed quite a few of the tards in attendance and most of them are NOTHING to look at – frumpy, fat, often no make up, wearing unstylish clothes in many cases. They’ve got a snowball’s chance in hell of getting any Tiemann cock.

          Oh, I heard about the delirious Cheeze-It lady from some fans after the show, LMAO!!! Did she ever get David his Cheeze-Its? WTF, like he can’t buy his own?

  10. SarahBeth permalink
    May 27, 2009 2:52 pm

    Ok, anyone know what the deal with the flat Andys are?

    Because I saw a bunch of people in the front waving them during CBTM.

    • dukie permalink
      May 27, 2009 3:40 pm

      I am ashamed that I actually may know this, but I think the cooktards are squeeing! over Andy’s “glory note” in CBTM. Just proves I have done WAY too much lurking. πŸ™‚

      • SarahBeth permalink
        May 27, 2009 4:45 pm

        Ok….and I’m going to be a complete idiot here for a minute….

        Andy has a glory note in CBTM?

        • dukie permalink
          May 27, 2009 5:57 pm

          ummmm yeah . . . at least THEY seem to think so!!!!!!!!

  11. Liz permalink
    May 27, 2009 2:13 pm

    Cook seems like a cool guy, but I agree that his fans are dragging him down. I mean, wasn’t this a college show or something? Or was it a show at a bar? Because that lady looks about 40, so…

  12. May 27, 2009 12:28 pm


    *STILL LAUGHING ABOUT THAT WRETCHED BITCH* If she’s “disabled” then why the fuck is she STANDING ON THE FUCKING STAIRS?!?. because stairs were set aside for people to stand and block the view of people who have trouble standing on their own? not to mention the girl with brain cancer and the two very largely pregnant women. it took a lot for me not to fling the empty water bottles i had accumulated at both of their puny craniums. FEH!

    Of course, the one decent photo i took at the show has Wretched Bitch #1 (who was standing above her disbaled friend) waving to D.Cook in it. Because he was looking RIGHT AT THE STAIRS to see her, of course.

    i am scared of the Flat Andy photo – very scared.

  13. Liz Robinson permalink
    May 27, 2009 10:23 am

    I was lucky to see Cook at a venue with assigned seating. He AND his band were fantastic. I hope the crazy fans really don’t scare away new fans. (it’s not DC or the band’s fault, ya know).
    Anyway, you liked Always Be My Baby live? Did you like the singing, the band?

  14. SarahBeth permalink
    May 27, 2009 9:48 am

    Yup. Totally wasn’t expecting ABMB. So glad I got it on video, so glad the audio is actually really good (even though I was next to the speaker).

    Im dying to read part 3. And WTF is wrong with people seriously – why do they have to be that rude?

  15. Jennifer permalink
    May 27, 2009 9:44 am

    Consider yourself a public servant. OMG!!! EPIC!!! FTW!!!

  16. isaaa permalink
    May 27, 2009 7:02 am

    DC and archie were awesome in manila
    the crowd burst when they played that song for the first time ever as a band XD

  17. dukie permalink
    May 27, 2009 6:50 am

    I must find a pair of those incredibly awesome earrings! πŸ™‚

  18. May 27, 2009 6:33 am


    *snort* Does this mean I can forever use the disabled parking at the mall? Score!

    I don’t know how you made it through the evening without punching someone in the head. Or did you? I guess I’ll have to wait until part trois. Excellent recap so far. Too fun.

  19. May 27, 2009 1:44 am

    Poor soul.
    Your next assignment is an Archuleta concert. I really want to see what you have to say about it LOL.
    And this way I can live vicariously through you since I can’t make it to any this summer. =P

  20. Chefshortz permalink
    May 27, 2009 12:40 am

    Yessss. Always Be My Baby is my guilty pleasure.

    You brave, brave woman. This is exactly why I haven’t seen Cook live since I attended the finale last year. Nice pics, by the way. πŸ˜‰

    • TopIdol permalink
      May 27, 2009 12:57 am

      Out of curiosity, how is Cook’s Always Be My Baby a “guilty pleasure” when you listen to that tiny Archuleta kid all the time πŸ™‚

      • Chefshortz permalink
        May 27, 2009 1:32 pm

        LOL good point. You got me.

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