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People Magazine just has to ask Kris Allen if he has immediate plans to procreate

May 28, 2009

I hate People magazine. In fact, its why on the rare occasion when I desire a tabloid publication, I purchase the Star (Better crossword AND Sudoku, plus sometimes, only sometimes, I still find myself somewhat fascinated by the Jolie-Pitt-Aniston love triangle). That shit doesn’t pretend to be something its not, but hey, it buys into the same tabloid crap as the others and I don’t give a rat’s ass about celebrity cellulite, so anyway…

Seriously, People, why the hell are you asking Hot By Default if he has any plans to start a family?

Yeah, makes total sense, right? Because they were married oh, yesterday and he just oh, won this karaoke competition on national television and has to go on a tour and record an album! Yes! Perfect time to have kids. All you people care about are famous and quasi-famous people having baby bump, subsequent babies and then big baby weight loss  (Who the hell else writes anything about Melissa Joan Hart?); You call this stuff news and even write awesome headlines like:

Kris Allen: Not Ready For Kids (Yet!)

The only “interesting” news to Kris Allen / Kradam fans is that M.R.S. Allen will NOT be joining him on the tour. But at least you know she’s probably reading that skeevy Kradam fan fic right now…I’m sure Adam Lambert has sent her the links.

Anyway, People, and People readers who submit stupid questions inquiring about personal things like when people are going to start having kids, well, it’s just lame. Of course, does it surprise you this same publication runs a Celebrity Baby Blog devoted exclusively to the topic?

It is any wonder we live in a society where grifters produce litters in order to score free shit,  get a TV show and then commit horrors against innocent strands of hair while promoting bullshit books they didn’t write?

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12 Comments leave one →
  1. Deez permalink
    June 3, 2009 1:28 pm

    Anyone that needs some entertainment today should go read the comments section of Kris Allen’s Idolatry interview over at EW. Gokey fans are pissed b/c they believe Slezak gave Kris better treatment than Danny. (ie- Kris did not come off as a babbling douchebag in his interview)
    Churches are now mobilizing against the tour. Here’s a sample:

    “IHope Wed, Jun 3, 2009 at 11:49 AM EST

    I am going to discuss this site and all that is going on here with my Church on Sunday. I will also try to meet with the heads of Churches in my community and the local Christian Radio Station. My suggestion will be that no one buys American Idol Tour Tickets for the concert closest to us and that we send a letter to the producers of American Idol, stating that we will not purchase tickets until the people at Idolatry and anyone else that is persecuting Danny Gokey, make a formal apology to him. If the people with the money can get Clay Aikens to apologize, than it is up to us to get the same in this case. I am also going to put in the letter that Kris Allen, and Adam Lambert, and Alison Irehta also apologize, if it is found that they truly spread the hurtful rumors that are referred to on this page.”

    bwahahahahaha……………

    • June 3, 2009 2:51 pm

      Ha! Ha! I hadn’t read any comments over there, but I loved the interview with Kris. I thought Slezak was pretty cool on Danny, I mean he hit the major points of contention without being an outright ass to Danny. And it must have been difficult for Slezak to sit through Danny’s tripe without giving him the motorboat, a raspberry, the ‘get on with it’ wave or something. Dude don’t Shut TFU!

      Interestingly enough, some hard core Adam fans are pissed with Kris’ Slezak interview too. Saying he was too hard on Adam, which I completely don’t get AT ALL. I thought Adam’s interview was awesome.

      Hard-core fans, you know they are batshit crazy:) We won’t discuss my behavior lately!

    • TopIdol permalink
      June 3, 2009 3:59 pm

      Yes. Persecution was the first word to come to my mind, too.

      Fraking lunatics.

  2. May 31, 2009 3:46 am

    Way to make things awkward, People.

    P.S. I agree w/ Jennifer–I WANT PART TROIS!
    P.P.S. The finale was 10 days ago, was it not? *hint hint*
    P.P.P.S. I’m being obnoxious.

    • TopIdol permalink
      May 31, 2009 4:00 am

      I’m trying!

      My mom came to town and I had to take her to the casinos in CT. We literally just got home.

      • May 31, 2009 4:21 am

        CT? interesting.
        HAHAHA just got home?? At 4 AM?? Someone had fun 😉

  3. Jennifer permalink
    May 29, 2009 11:01 pm

    Why would anyone really want to see it? Gross.

    Um, when are you going to post part three of Adventures in Cooktardland? HEE!

  4. Maree permalink
    May 29, 2009 3:42 pm

    Somebody asked him to show them his WHAT?? That’s dreadful.

    • May 30, 2009 2:25 am

      I can only imagine she was referring to how some people call him “monkey boy” and such, and/or perhaps she actually meant how he tends to make a funny face with his lips drawn when he sings a large note. It’s just a quirk of his.

      • Deez permalink
        May 30, 2009 11:41 am

        I saw an interview where Kris admitted that he was aware of the faces he makes while singing, and that even his wife makes fun of it. He says he hates it, and that’s the reason he can’t watch his own performances. I can only imagine that it must’ve been REALLY uncomfortable to have been asked that. I like to poke harmless fun at people in blog comment sections, but to be downright rude to someone’s face is just being an asshat. I wouldn’t even wish that on Gokey.

  5. May 29, 2009 4:48 am

    This poor guy has had a tough week. He’s been asked some of the most pointlessly dumb questions by some of the most stupid local news people on the planet.

    In one of his post win interviews, a so-called newswoman actually asked him if she could see his monkey-lips…what was he supposed to do to show them to her? Plus, way to make the guy feel uncomfortable about being called an ape by some people.

    • Deez permalink
      May 29, 2009 7:47 pm

      Wow. I know they probably don’t assign a “Walter Cronkite” to cover AI…but that is beyond asinine. (somebody’s Daddy must own a station).

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