Some married gal is trying to get her single friend to put the moves on Danny Gokey
Sometimes Google Alerts really delivers the goods.
A blogger / married mom / seminary grad student is pimping out her single friend. Said friend attended a church service with Danny Gokey (in Nashville). Blogger / married mom / seminary grad student thinks the single friend should have put the moves on him.
Yes. You read that correctly. And I know you want to know how it all went down, right??
Me: So Meridith, tell me where you were on Sunday morning.
Mer: I’m not funny at this. And then you’re gonna write this…no, that’s not funny…you’re gonna make up stuff…no, stop.
Me: Meridith, just tell me where you were on Sunday.
Mer: I was at church.
Me: Meridith, what church was that? Was it “Bedside Assembly?” The church you’ve been going to the past several weeks? The church with Bro. Sheets and Sister Pillow?
Mer: No, this was actually church church.
Me: Okay, Mer. What happened on Sunday at church that made you call me in a panic from the church parking lot?
Mer: Well, I was actually going to text you while everyone was giving offering but I thought that might be inappropriate so I waited to call you.
Me: And what did you call me about?
Mer: I wanted to tell you who was in church…who was only two rows in front of me.
Me: And who was that?
Mer: Danny Gokey.
* For those of you having trouble following us, Meridith is sitting in church with Danny Gokey. He is single. She is single. He sings. She voted for him.
Me: Meridith, did you enjoy your conversation with Danny?
Mer: I enjoyed the view.
Me: That is not what I asked.
Mer: I didn’t talk to him. I was respecting his anonymity.
Me: Let me ask you this…did he get up and speak at church?
Me: About his stint on American Idol?
Me: That’s not anonymity.
Mer: Melissa, he just started a foundation in the name of his deceased wife. I have a feeling he’s not over it.
Me: What exactly is your point?
Mer: I don’t’ know how to answer that question. That was my answer. I can’t be the silly girl that runs up to him and acts interested. Wait, don’t type that…stop it. STOP!!!
Me: Meridith, how do you expect me to marry you off if you won’t play by my rules?
Mer: I never asked you to marry me off. You’re not my father.
Me: Don’t get too serious, too heavy.
Mer: I told you I’m lame on paper.
Me: Meridith, you’re not lame on paper. You’re Andy Richter to my Conan O’Brian.
Mer: Okay, anyway…I didn’t talk to him because I didn’t want to be some pathetic groupie girl. I didn’t want to come across as needy. Desperate. One-without-a-life.
Me: But I had the perfect opening line.
Mer: I was not going to say that!!!
Me: All you had to do was walk up and say, “Adam – I loved you on American Idol. I voted for you the night you wore the snakeskin pants.”
Mer: (Laughs) I would have ended up saying something lame like, “I was so touched by your ministry.”
Even though that last statement sent a piss shiver through my entire body, I gotta give this Meridith girl a bit of credit for showing a bit of restraint and not trying to actively jump America’s Most Polarizing Dead Wife Guy.