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SYTYCD Top 12 (Part 2): When they decided to throw Phillip under the bus

July 9, 2009

Ok…let’s finish this up before moving onto the results show.

Melissa and Ade (Waltz — Ron Montez)
(You Make Me Feel Like A) Natural Woman (Mary J. Blige)

They are sad this will be their last dance together. So am I. You know Melissa is also very upset about not being able to spend as much quality time with Ade’s Pick.

I had no idea Mary J. Blige remade the Aretha Franklin classic. I don’t understand why, either. This waltz, like Mary J.’s version, is kind of boring….not that Ade and Melissa’s lifts aren’t impressive, as well as their sweet little twirls…I don’t know…it was just kind of boring, although I kind of love these two.

1980s British Hair is still sedate, Crazy Mary seems to maybe be getting drunker…but none of that matters when they keep showing Ade’s awesome family and their glitter-encrusted picks. But Crazy Mary does call Melissa a “fine wine” because you know, she’s 29 and that is OLD.

Pipe down, English Muffin!

Bring Crazy Mary another drink STAT! Broadway Tyce gives a bit of criticism, yet still acts all nice. You know homeboy is getting some. Whenever you’re in the early days of getting some, everything is sunshine, rainbows and midgets.

Kayla and Kupuno (Broadway — Jody Dowling)
The Dance at the Gym (West Side Story — New Broadway Cast)

Kupuno is going to miss Powder’s sweatiness. I’m not. They’re supposed to fall in love atop a rooftop or something, blah blah blah.

So I thought about this last night and I know it may come across as if I harbor an obvious bias against Powder, er…Kayla. I totally do. However, has anyone else noticed her Hot Ashen Messiness has been incorporated into the story lines of her routines by the choreographers? Vampires? Drug Addict? I’m surprised the back story to this one wasn’t about some girl who escaped from a windowless basement to meet some guy upon a roof.

Kupuno and Powder’s timing is TOTALLY off. And I think they stumbled. Once again, I am reminded how she is just all legs. And frighteningly pale.

SYTYCD -- Kayla the ghost and Jason

And that dance was incredibly dull and boring. (Come on! Who’s with me here? Didn’t last year seem so much more…uh, exciting?)

Jesus that girl is pale. Anyway, 1980s British Hair totally rips them a new one because they just “danced” it and did not incorporate the “danger” element. Powder looks slightly annoyed because you know, she’s not getting her ass kissed. Crazy Mary takes the easy way out…come on Broadway Tyce, be your little bitchy self. Yes, that was nice you thanked the choreographer and talked about how awesome she [Jody Dowling] is, but come on! Be meaner! Yes they should have dug into the floor more or whatever.

Jesus christ is that girl PALE. I wonder what she would look like standing next to Alexis Grace…hmmm…SCARY!

Caitlin & Jason (Lyrical Jazz — Mandy Moore)
Show Me Heaven (Maria McKee)

Yes, yes, yes. You guys will miss all these things about one another. Now Jason, you can stick around for awhile, but PLEASE, let this be Caitlin’s last dance. But choreographer Mandy Moore is here! For some reason, I missed her! I really wish she would have taught Contempo Casuals Caitlin a bit about non-offensive rehearsal attire while they were working on that little number because seriously, I don’t even think Britney Spears would have worn this look past oh, 2005?

SYTYCD Caitlin Kinney -- Get her a stylist

Promise not to laugh at me? I LOVE THIS SONG. I have loved Maria McKee’s Show Me Heaven since I first heard it back in oh, 1989? Yeah, it’s old. And it’s on the Days Of Thunder soundtrack. Which may be the one movie worse than Cocktail, not sure…

I think this version may be a bit more updated, but Maria McKee has been singing this awesomeness for over two decades, of this I am CERTAIN. Oh yeah, the dance. Again, Contempo Casuals Caitlin is considerably weaker than Jason, her moves just are not as defined and she lacks his fluidity. And at the end, when he moves her hand or she moves his…could have been done with A LOT more passion to make it believeable.

Cat Deeley mentions Tom Cruise and Top Gun, but she is WRONG. Although she is still The Goddess and I won’t make fun of her because hello? It’s not as if she made the numerical gaffes of one Kara DioGuardi. I would venture most people had no idea that particular song was from a Tom Cruise movie.

The judges ply them with niceties and subtle criticism. Yawn.

Jeanine and Phillip (Jive — Tony Meredith)
Stuff Like That There (Bette Midler)

Now here is the other couple I do not want to see split up. Jeanine and Phillip have endeared themselves to me because they are completely adorable. This will also be some sort of sexy jive with ass grabbing and booby shaking.

SYTYCD -- Jeanine and Phillip...I will miss you

These two are adorable. I’m sorry, I just can’t help it. Love them. And they did this really cute little lift at the end.

1980s British Hair LOVES it. Loves the choreography and thinks its the best Phillip has been out of his own style. Crazy Mary is LOUD. Hot flashes + Captain Morgan = Crazy Mary yelling shit about Hot Tamale Trains. Wait…doesn’t Phillip get to come along for the ride on the Hot Tamale Train? Come on now, what are they trying to do? Are they trying to throw Phillip under the bus? NOOOOOOOOOO (I really do think he deserved more credit in that routine, don’t you?)

I say call 1-888-FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC!

Wow. Broadway Tyce, did you write that one?

Randi and Evan (Samba)
Ritmo de Bom Bom

These two little people are wearing a bunch of leopard print. While its impossible for me to ever detect much passion on her part, they’re still kind of fun…even if she looks a lot taller than him in this number, although perhaps its adds to the element of “evil catwoman needing to be tamed”?

1980s British Hair doesn’t think Evan looks like a hot samba king. He wanted it hotter. Although Randi was hot. Crazy Mary says it was a slow sizzle, which are a lot easier to take than her hot flashes.

I don’t see how they could boot Evan, though. Look at him. Wouldn’t you feel guilty sending that little face home?

SYTYCD -- Evan and Randi try to Samba

(Sadly, I just accidently looked at tonight’s results on MJ’s Big Blog, and now I want to cry…do I even bother watching Janette and Brandon? I’m PISSED about half those results, people, I’m pissed.)

Janette and Brandon (Jazz — Wade Robson)
Ruby Blue (Rosin Murphy)

Power couple Janette and Brandon not only have the benefit of going in the pimp spot of the night, they’re also doing a routine by everyone’s favorite choreographer, Wade Robson.

They play bank robbers. The music is lots of fun. They’re very good. They are completely in synch with one another. The judges will love them. People will cheer at the top of their lungs. End of show. (Although I may actually have to download this song…)

One Comment leave one →
  1. July 10, 2009 2:32 am

    Blahhhh ckdanfdka. I hated the West Side Story number too. And I really really really love Phillip and Jeanine together and Randi and Evan so DAMN am I sad about this splittin’ up business. =(

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