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SYTYCD Top 10 (Part 1): Ade’s Pick took center stage, the world fell in love, and I talked lots about poker

July 16, 2009

I apologize for getting a late start tonight, so…I decided to pour myself a Captain & Diet just to make it EXTRA FUN!

But it’s not for Crazy Mary Murphy, or even Ade’s Pick, it’s for Antoine Saout!

This is Antoine Saout. Tonight, I am totally tarding for the Frenchy named Saout because he is kicking major ass at the $10,000 WSOP Main Event. So please, I ask all of you to tard over Saout with me.

Antoine Saout (France) at the WSOP Featured Table

And since the players are on their 90-minute dinner break, I best get started on the SYTYCD stuff. Yeah, I furiously check Poker News every two minutes or so for updates because I am obsessed.

I think Cat Deeley should start playing poker. She could end up being the most successful female poker player ever because seriously, everyone else would just fold to her on the river because they would be overcome by her awesome goddessness.

Cat Deeley -- a goddess in green on SYTYCD

And speaking of Ms. Deeley, what a lovely green strapless frock she is wearing this evening…or yesterday…when they taped this thing.

Crazy Mary is looking a bit subdued tonight, perhaps because it may be sacreligous to look like Miss Kitty on break from the saloon when your sitting next to Debbie Allen. However, Crazy Mary is already halfway done with her drinky-drink so GOOD TIMES!

Top 5 Girls doing Bollywood
Pyar Ke Geet (soundtrack)

Seriously, SYTYCD, stop. You will never bring back the magic on Bollywood created by Katee and Joshua last season, however, this will inevitably be better than when the now-departed Caitlin did the number with Jason earlier in the season. That being said, I still really want to learn Bollywood dancing, even if I totally sucked at it.

Oh gag me. Powder talks about Bollywood being awesome and girly. Powder! Quit talking! Go into the spray tan booth and don’t come out until we tell you!

Why oh why must you people stick Powder in front? It’s Bollywood. Not balsa wood.

SYTYCD Top 5 girls dancing Bollywood

Trying to find the weakest…Kayla was going way too fast on that head shaking. And no, I am not just saying that because I dislike Powder, but I do want one of those costumes as much as I want to have a gin & tonic with The Goddess Cat Deeley.

You’re on my hot bangers and mash tray.


No really, they’re like hot spicey tandoori.

1980s British Hair is HUNGRY. He is hungry for proper British food. Get him a curry!

Kayla and Evan
Kiss From A Rose (Seal)

So Powder got paired up with the Tiny Swing Kid. See, Powder is the TALLEST girl and Evan is the SHORTEST guy. OH NOEZZZ!

SYTYCD Top 10 -- Kayla is taller than Evan

They talk about plies and dancing like they’re 9-feet tall. And then I realize they’re dancing to Seal’s big hit song from the Batman Forever soundtrack and all I can think is OH NOEZZZZ!! Just because, oh hell, I DON’T KNOWZZZZ.

(BTW, Seal…the luckiest homeless guy EVER. He didn’t have to even go from homeless to Harvard. He went from homeless to hit songs to hot German supermodel.)

I’m sure Powder was very excited to wear her trademark pink. Oh, and they let her kick a few times, so people cheer, but all I can think about is eighth grade cotillion, because that’s what they look like, except they’re more snazzily dressed. I also swear Powder is wearing sequined-fuchsia wristbands.

Evan does some nice lifts, which is impressive because hey, you know, he’s really short. 1980s British Hair thinks it so was not a Viennese Waltz, hey, 1980s British Hair, I said it was 8th Grade Cotillion.

SYTYCD Top 10 -- Kayla and Evan do the Viennese Waltz

Is anyone else sick of hearing about Powder’s tremendous lines? Although it is rather appropriate someone named Powder would have tremendous lines.

Evan finds out Debbie Allen nicknamed him Gene Kelly. I think if I were him, I would geek out like that, too, you know, like, if I were Evan.

SYTYCD Top 10 -- Evan is compared to Gene Kelly

Ok…I need to hurry this shit up because I’m only 27 minutes in. And I almost typed $27. Because we know where my priorities are this evening.

Brandon Bryant
In Your Eyes (Jeffrey Gaines)

I’m probably the only chick in my age bracket who doesn’t get all moist and gooey when they hear Peter Gabriel’s In Your Eyes while simutaneously shouting out OMG SAY ANYTHING WAS SOOOO GOOD. Because it really wasn’t. Save for the whole Joe lies…when he cries…I could have done without that entire movie and the wooden acting of Ione Skye, regardless of how much I adore John Cusack.

Oh, ha. Yeah, it’s not even the same song. BUT IT IS. It’s just a remade acoustic version, so…I just felt like going off on a “tangent” there because Brandon came out and it was all that artistic contemporary thrashing your body around sort of thing which can be very impressive, as he is an extraordinary dancer, but I’m so not in the mood for artistic solitary thrashing tonight. I love ya, Brandon, but not tonight. Can you play poker?

SYTYCD Top 10 -- Brandon Bryant solo

But you know who I bet can play MAD POKER???


Ade and Ade’s Pick.

Ade’s Pick is now all gilded and shit. I hope Ade’s Pick ain’t getting an ego. I mean, he can have one and all, he is the pick, but I don’t want Ade’s Pick to forget where he came from.

SYTYCD Top 10 -- Ade and Ade's Pick


SYTYCD Top 10 -- Ade's Gilded Pick is hypnotizing

Yeah, you know who is getting funky in Mole Heaven right now? Quatto. RIP Quatto. 😦

Janette & Ade
Love Sex Magic (Ciara featuring Justin Timberlake…or the guy who should have taken Douchebag Mayer’s spot at MJ’s big Staples Center funeral)

OMG OMG OMG. Tonight could be the greatest night I have ever spent alone in my apartment. Between the one elimination keeping Antoine Saout from the November Nine in the 2009 WSOP, my 2+ Captain Morgan & Diet Cokes…OMG!!!

Ade’s Pick. Ade’s Pick. He is dancing on stage!!!! This is the greatest dance in the history of dance. Hands down. BEST DANCE EVER IN THE HISTORY OF DANCE.

SYTYCD Top 10 -- Ade, Ade's Pick and Janette

Ok. 1980s British Hair might be drinking as much as Crazy Mary. AWESOME. He wants his own pick so badly, he attempts to DIY with pencils.

The other judges say some other stuff, and while I love Debbie Allen, especially because she can call people child repeatedly and looks neither ironic nor like a Maya Rudolph impersonation. (And I love me my Maya, but you know, she does it to be ironic…when impersonating…)

Dream (Priscilla Ahn)

Oh. Totally forgot about this girl. Should I stop sleeping in tank tops and shorts? Start wearing little nightgowns and dance to uplifting ethereal chick music before bedtime? Hmmm…I’m gonna have to think about this one. But doesn’t it always seem so…you know, when the SYTYCD theme music comes on, it just sounds so…well you know…

SYTYCD Top 10 -- Randi does a solo in a bridal nightie

I don’t mind Randi, but I have a feeling she will go home this week. And maybe because she’s wearing one of those claw-like headbands I haven’t seen for a few years, even on the Goody rack at the CVS across the street.

(In case you were wondering, Antoine Saout, whom I may have to tard over through November, he is sitting about Phil Ivey in chips right now. Phil Ivey. Although I really want Ivey to make the final table, too, because hello? It’s Phil Ivey!)

Marina Gasolina (Bonde Do Role)

Ok. I just really am digging the song title. Kupono always makes me think of Pearl Cream, who is not with me for the month because he has a starring role in Anything Goes in Kansas City, soooo…if any readers are out there in KC…go check out Anything Goes at the Starlight Theatre (before Sunday!) so you can see Pearl Cream who is, btw, an amazing actor-singer.

I think of Pearl Cream because he totally thinks Kupono is hot. Yeah…I could see it happening. Pearl Cream has mad skills.

When I look at Kupono right now, all I can picture is Billy Zane watching this show while plunging Botox-laden needles into about seven parts of his face as he stares into the mirror, repeating I make my own luck over and over again.

SYTYCD Top 10 -- Kupono kind of looks like Billy Zane in fishnet

Oh, hmmm…I can’t even remember what happened in that dance except he made his own costume and I liked the name of the song.

Jeanine & Jason
If It Kills Me (The Casa Nova Sessions)
Jason Mraz

Oh, how ironic. The cool people who lost their partners got each other. And a Travis Wall routine. I still miss Phillip, btw. Caitlin should have gone home after Bollywood, but Phillip, he should still be with us. They hope the chemistry is there. So do I. I like them both, however, I still really wish Jeanine and Phillip were chained to one another, don’t you?

SYTYCD Top 10 -- Jeanine and Jason have chemistry

Okay. I like them together. Either that or the song, Captain Morgan and Travis Wall’s choreography is getting to me…oh frak. I may have to like uh, download this Jason Mraz song.

Loved it. Downloading song…will I regret downloading song in the morning? But seriously, awesome chemistry, an amazing dance…while I still miss my Phillip, I gotta say that Jason really has a more suitable partner now, agreed? Oh, come on. Phillip could keep up with Jeanine. Shut it, 1980s British Hair. Can we please point out that it was CAITLIN who could never keep up with Jason.

Holy frak. Crazy Mary is at a loss for words. She screams they are STARRRRRRRRSSSSS. She got dizzy, was about to pass out, starts tearing up. HELLO HOT FLASH!!! Bring mama another cocktail, SYTYCD drink refiller, come on now, bring mama another cocktail.

SYTYCD Top 10 -- Mary Murphy has a hot flash & needs another cocktail

(But right now!!! YES YES YES YES!!! Antoine Saout has made the November Nine! YES YES YES!!! He made the Final Table of the $10,000 WSOP Main Event. Which means he’s uh, guaranteed to take home $1 million come this fall. Yeah. Lemme see you do that in your job.)

Debbie Allen talks about how the show, or the dance (?) has helped evangelize dance. Love you, child, love you. Just because you’re uh, Debbie Allen and like, who doesn’t love Debbie Allen?

SYTYCD Top 10 -- Debbie Allen rules

Ok…it’s become another late night. Promise I’ll finish this up tomorrow. I swear. Pinky swear.

8 Comments leave one →
  1. beinghonest permalink
    July 18, 2009 2:30 pm

    Yeah I know what you mean far as real talent goes dont get me wrong i love Hugh Grant but in case you havent noticed all of his latest work has been sub par and we all know working with Renee Zwellwegger didnt help because she cant act he hasnt been in anything worth goin to see in a while yet he still has more talent in his ring finger than con does in his whole body honestly sexual manipulation can only go so far unlesss you are Brad Pitt and cons no Brad I think this is the reason why production companies arent taking him seriously and you know it only can work if you bring the numbers he has yet to do anything to show film companies that I dont really care what he does personally judt becsause you feel he recovered from the prostitute incident doesnt mean he isnt still a pig carreer wise they both need to step their game up regaurdless and yeah savannah wise does sound like a porn star name lol

    • TopIdol permalink
      July 18, 2009 2:32 pm

      Haven’t you seen “About A Boy”?

      Go check out my latest post, btw.

  2. beinghonest permalink
    July 17, 2009 12:14 pm

    Unrelated but you have to read this
    I need people who can describe Con’s facial features
    I have a special favor to ask. I need someone who is really good with giving phyical and facial discriptions. You all know I have been working on my time travel. Anyhow I am having trouble coming up with words to disscribe my hero. before I ask this favor of everyone, take in mind I started writing this story back in 2002 and came up with the consept in 2000. Now the setting of my story basically takes place around 82 to 87 AD my hero is a Pictish/Caledonian Warrior. The name Pict was the name that the Romans gave to the band of warriors that tattooed their bodys and rode into battle nake. Also the early Pict could have been people of mixed races. So far how I had my hero descibed, he has long shoulder length black curly hair. The texture would be soft and silver eyes. And he stands between 6’6′ and 6’3″. And he is suppose to be the hottest man my 5’3″ Green Eyed, Red headed Heroine has ever seen. But I am having a hard time putting my hero’s facial features into words. And its not that I don’t know what or who I want the hero modeled after. I do. I want him modeled after the most beautiful man we all know, Constantine. Hey if he is gonna be willing to pose for my cover. I need my hero to have his features. But I need someone to help me get the perfect description on paper. And it has to be at first from the waist up. When my heroine sees the hero in the flesh. From the waist down at that point he is still a statue. just PM me or descriptions. thanks.

    This is a post from Lea one of the delusional women who think this pot smoking womanizing bastard is sexy wtf? Is she on dope does she really think if she calls him sexy he will sleep with her? Now I will admit that I have seen yet more teen girls with this dude they need holy water or he will infect them. I think he is so screwing savannah wise and I feel bad because its a matter of time before she realizes what horrible mistake shes making. If he marries her I guess I will hope that she changes this douche for the better! He has said on occasion he thinks those women are blind and need glasses because some tard called him gorgeous why I ask? and where? Because when your a jackass even if you are sexy people think your a greasy pig look what happend to Hugh Grant after the prostitute situation never really recovered!! WTF?!! people….

    • TopIdol permalink
      July 17, 2009 6:54 pm

      Hugh Grant totally recovered. I don’t think Greasy Constantine could even be mentioned in the same breath as Hugh Grant, who is pretty cool in my opinion.

      Savannah Wise sounds like a porn name.

  3. Trish permalink
    July 16, 2009 1:16 pm

    I love you when you’re drunk, TI. I hope that doesn’t make me an enabler.

    Let’s hope Ade takes better care of his Pick than Matt did of Quatto (may he rest in peace).

    I am not ashamed to admit that the last time I listened to that Mraz song in my car, I hit the repeat button, and I almost never do that. He’s a GREAT live performer and that song is just, well, TOO MUCH (in a good way). The only thing that could possibly have made it better was pairing it with that routine. Just BRILLIANT! (But they’re saying over on mj’s that Jason got the lowest score on Dial Idol. 😦 )

  4. July 16, 2009 10:16 am

    I LOVED Travis’s dance.
    AND HOW AWESOME IS THAT SONG. Especially from the Casa Novas. Jason Mraz is… is… I can’t think of a good enough word to describe his awesomeness so lets go with AMAZING.
    And you have no idea how much I was freaking out during the Pick’s dance. My sisters thought I’d somehow managed to steal Mary’s 15th drink.

  5. SarahBeth permalink
    July 16, 2009 9:57 am

    I totally thought about you when I saw Ade’s pick was going to have a role in their dance. I thought that was awesome. And can I just FUCKING GUSH ABOUT JEANINE AND JASON? They were amazing and I loved that choreography and yeah.

    Good luck to your man Antonie. Sometimes I watch WSOP because I find it interesting, but I don’t know how to play to save my life. 🙂

  6. Courtney permalink
    July 16, 2009 9:45 am

    I was seriously excited for you after seeing that Ade’s pick took center stage last night in he & Janette’s Nappytabs hip-hop routine! I found myself saying “Topidol is prolly having a pickgasm right now.” And god bless Debbie Allen, talking as only Debbie Allen can get away with: “Who were you, child??? A pimp wit a COMB?! Stay away from my daughter child, you takin’ off her clothes…oooh!” Or did you catch what she said to Evan after his waltz with Powder? “You handled your big woman!” LOL

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