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Claymate Cars Happen in REAL LIFE

August 21, 2009

Courtney, a gorgeous up-and-coming dancer from Indiana who reads my shit blog/Twitter gave me a most beautiful gift this morning.

You see, Courtney began her day innocently enough at her local Starbucks. As she was driving through to retrieve her latte, lo and behold what was in front of her.

REAL LIVE CLAYMATE CAR -- Starbucks -- Indiana -- August 21, 2009


I’ve never actually SEEN such a thing while in my natural habitat, have you? Like I’ve never been innocently going about my daily business and actually seen a real-life tard car, or tard in puffy paint splendor outside of the Idol show I attended on Tuesday evening, the David Cook show in Northampton and the Top 5 American Idol rehearsal show back in April.

I sort of thought this shit was like Sasquatch. Or Nessie. Chupacabra. And then Courtney sends me a photo of one she was actually DRIVING BEHIND to get her morning coffee.

Talk about a fraking wake up call. You want a Measure of a Man in your Frappucino? Yeah, that was a really dumb joke, but it’s the only Clay Aiken song I know and it’s after 6pm on a Friday.

19 Comments leave one →
  1. August 23, 2009 11:47 am

    Ohhh, and she’s driving a Reliant–what could be more perfect? HAhahaha

  2. she_is_so_random permalink
    August 22, 2009 8:29 pm

    OMJ, that woman lives in my county (29-Hamilton in the white strip above “Ms Aiken”)!! I’ll have to keep my eye out for her!

    • Courtney permalink
      August 23, 2009 4:27 pm

      I’m also a resident of good ol’ Hamilton County (allegedly one of the wealthiest counties in the Midwest, but this POS car clearly disproves that theory…she must be from Noblesville). If you care to visit the Starbucks where this historic pic was taken, it’s the one on 116th, right before the I-69 S ramp. I have a theory that this might be a fantard hotspot, so I will probably have it under heavy surveillance in the coming weeks before the AI Live tour hits Indy…

      • TopIdol permalink
        August 23, 2009 4:52 pm

        Oh wow.

        Now I’m scared. For you…and the baristas.

      • she_is_so_random permalink
        August 23, 2009 9:14 pm

        Don’t you mean Nobletucky, Courtney? (heh) She could be from there or whatever that area is where 116th Street continues east. There are tons of shitty little houses full of rednecks out there.

  3. Courtney permalink
    August 22, 2009 3:40 pm

    Last night in my prayers, I seriously thanked God for allowing the stars to align and set the scene whereby I was able to take this picture…and to think I almost went to McDonald’s instead!!!

    TopIdol, I am seriously on high alert now with my eyes open for tards in their natural habitat…I have a feeling they run rampant on the plains in the Hoosier State…stay tuned.

    • TopIdol permalink
      August 22, 2009 5:56 pm

      I’m in love with the license plate frame:

      I’d rather be at a Clay Aiken concert.

      This is seriously one of my favorite photos EVER. Courtney, I love you.

      • Courtney permalink
        August 22, 2009 7:03 pm

        I love you too, man. 🙂

  4. rach permalink
    August 22, 2009 7:13 am

    I don’t even know how I ended up on this website but this is the funniest damn thing I have seen in a while.

    Are you sure the fan wasn’t a souvenir too? Maybe it says ‘Official Clay Fan’ on it! HAHAHAHA

  5. Lil Lulu permalink
    August 21, 2009 9:37 pm

    What. The Hell? No self-respect whatsoever. I mean, even when I was in Junior High crushing on someone or other, I had the brains to keep my “Mrs. Joe Blow” well-hidden in my locked diary.

    • TopIdol permalink
      August 22, 2009 2:07 pm

      Lil Lulu is fraking HILARIOUS:

      None! They are saints, you see. There’s St. Sarver, Patron Saint of Twitter. St. Meghan of Caw, Patron Saint of Bird Baths. St. Scotty the Blind, Patron of Wild Angels…Wild, Wild Angels. St. Lil of Little, Patron Saint of Stank Eye. St. Anoop, Patron of Frat Boys. St. Matt, Patron Saint of Unicornus Keritosis. St. Allison, Patron Saint of Cutters. St. Danny, Patron Saint of Tool Makers, and, of course, Beloved St. Kristopher, Patron Saint of AT&T Text Messengers. Adam? Not a saint. Thank God.

  6. badmood permalink
    August 21, 2009 8:19 pm

    Someone should write a fucking book on the Claymate phenomenon. Alas (rather, thank god) I wasn’t around to experience it. I don’t think I was even aware Clay was an Idol contestant, I just saw one of his videos a few times on MTV and that was it. So learning about this now is just fascinating. I need detailed summaries with visual aids and handy timelines. 😦 It’s tedious to dredge up the dirt from Google.

    • TopIdol permalink
      August 22, 2009 4:21 am

      He had a video on MTV? No way. He’s that OLD?

      • badmood permalink
        August 22, 2009 4:42 am

        I guess?… I haven’t watched MTV in years, I’m not kidding. They don’t really play music nowadays, right? Anyway that’s the only time I ever knew about Clay’s existence before getting into Idol internet mania (this year). That was nearly six years ago I think. Thank god my young mind wasn’t exposed to the stupidity of this whole obsessive culture.

  7. girl from mars permalink
    August 21, 2009 8:18 pm

    WOW! I really want to see some tards tarding outside the usual venues, I’m so jealous!! Even better, at Starbucks. A tard car and a soy latte and my day would be MADE. I love the fan in the car too.

    • TopIdol permalink
      August 22, 2009 4:22 am

      Courtney took the best random photo ever taken in a Starbuck drive-thru, at least in my opinion.

      Everything about it is so…perfect…

  8. Courtney permalink
    August 21, 2009 6:47 pm

    I still am in awe that I was able to capture this…God truly did smile on me today. Each time I look at it I notice more tard artifacts…”I love my dog” sticker, fan clipped to the passenger side mirror (prolly cause she gets so hot & bothered thinking about Clay that she needs supplemental ventilation in addition to her AC…or, her car is just a POS), larger than life frau hair. I feel like I should be on the Discovery Channel doing a special or something “Behold…a Claytard in its natural habitat…note the ridiculous vanity license plate and the stench of denial…”

  9. August 21, 2009 6:36 pm

    I saw a sports tard minivan in LA. It made my day 😀

  10. deez permalink
    August 21, 2009 6:29 pm

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wow.

    Wonder how many Mrs Adam plates are on order? (think Mrs Lambert may have too many letters)

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