Skip to content

I have returned. Bearing gifts.

September 10, 2009

So sue me. I totally deserved a vacation. And I have More to Love paused on my screen right now…since about 8pm. Sigh. Guess I need to blog again, right? Good thing I was sent some KILLER recaps while I was away ๐Ÿ™‚

In case you did not know, I spent the last week in Black Rock City, Nevada. I actually could have used the wi-fi in Center Camp and even thought I would, but…dude, I was at Burning Man. Screw my laptop. Screw my laptop and screw my mobile. Totally unnecessary.

It’s difficult to explain my adventures in BRC, but I’ve tried…

I don’t know if any of you have been to Burning Man, but I highly recommend it. It’s pretty much one of the most incredible times you will ever have in your entire life. If you can find me one other place like it on the planet, please, take me there, because this was unlike anything you can see outside of science fiction.

It’s Xmas morning. It’s Halloween. It’s New Year’s Eve. It’s a gulag. It’s a resort. It’s a summer camp. It’s a concentration camp. It’s EPCOT. It’s every carnival you’ve ever been to with every furry. It’s the Ice Capades (without ice). It’s a rave. It’s a bunch of white trash mofos sitting on their porch drinking moonshine.

It’s a furry convention. It’s an industrial design exposition. It’s an art festival, a music festival, a food festival, Bilderberg, Skull & Bones AND a confederacy of dunces. It’s a Kurt Vonnegut novel. It’s everything imagined by Hunter S. Thompson on peyote. It’s a lot like New Caprica (in the reimagined version of BSG, if you don’t watch the show. Anyone who watched the show totally agreed with me on this one.) and Mad Max — there was even an actual Thunderdome with nightly battles and people crawling up the sides.

It’s an orgy. It’s a church service. It’s like being on an alien planet. It’s like being on our planet after some apocalyptic event. It’s all of the above and so much more. It’s anything you want it to be. It’s a wacky utopia where everyone (even the straight edge types) are respectful, kind and open-minded. No one ever asks if you’re gay or straight. Every sort of person you’ve ever met is out there and each has their own reason for going but it doesn’t really matter, because the only thing that matters is that you are THERE. For every person who just goes for the party, you have a person who just wants to meditate and do yoga at dawn or hell, just do their art. For every one hippie, there are roughly two programming geeks. Often, you don’t even find out last names or what people do in their “real lives” after talking with them for hours. I could show you a zillion photos and write a zillion more words, but you really can’t fully understand it unless you actually go there. It is an honest-to-flying spaghetti monster utopia where everything, even the ugly, are beautiful. Of course, it could never last longer than a week because then people would just go back to their normal ways and an economy would have to develop, big camps would take over little camps, Piggy would lose his glasses and die, blah blah blah. But to put this incredible “city” together for just one week? Insane. And the things you can see? Unlike anything else on earth.

Does it really change your life? Yeah…I think it does. Am I going to say screw off to my job and adult responsibilities and join a commune. Hell no. It’s not like that, at least for me and most people I met. It just sort of changes…changes how you look at things. It inspires you, perhaps, it inspires you to be a better person. To better tap into your creativity or think about the possibilities which you’ve had all along. Going to someplace so unreal actually helps make thoughts you never bothered entertaining a reality. You return back to the real world a bit happier, a bit more appreciative and in awe of the fact you have this crazy bundle of memories to reflect upon when you’re sitting in your cube or your sofa. You sort of don’t want your backpack to be entirely clean of the playa dust. I can’t completely explain it, because it is like trying to explain color to a blind person.

Anyway, here are a few photos. And while I’m sure many of you are wondering about whether or not I had a psychedelic experience a la Adam Lambert…tsk tsk. Shame on you. But I WILL tell you — Burning Man is AWESOME.

Indeed, you would be surprised how many “haters” and “homophobes” such as myself just love a desert utopia filled with freaks, furries (Ok, not so much the furries. EVERYONE makes fun of the furries.) and the rest of us weirdos & geeks who believe spending a week in extreme conditions is an unbelievably fraking good time.

My friend, Lan, and I on The Janky Barge. Don’t know the others, but one dude was wearing a Hello Kitty outfit so I had to get a photo. Loved that art car. Danced on it for two hours last Thursday afternoon.

Lan, Me and some people on The Janky Barge

Myself, Romni and Cliff at Yearbook Camp. Love this photo.

Me, Romni and Cliff at Yearbook Camp

Look how dusty my hair is! Yeah, that shit happens. Darien, Will and me on some random art car before getting on another random art car on the way to Root Society. (Again, I love this photo.)

Some art car in the middle of the playa on Friday night

I bartended for a bit on Friday evening while Big Bootie Mashup played. I decided it would be lots of fun to take photos of my “customers” (Are they customers in a city with a gift economy?)

Some random dude I served drinks to on Big Bootie Mashup night

Some more awesome people I poured drinks for…

A happy hippie at Burning Man

More people at Burning Man

Yes, I have a ton more photos…and a few tales I have already begun typing.

Ok. Since I was in the desert for a week, what did I miss? I read a debate in the comments threads about whether or not calling T.O. a diva was emasculating him…Deez requested a new topic. I am desperately trying to find you one, sweetheart, but for now…TELL ME WHAT I MISSED.

25 Comments leave one →
  1. whiskers permalink
    September 15, 2009 6:24 pm

    I thought of you. I was in Reno and Winnemucca when it was breaking up. I got to see all the dust covered people.
    I want to go and dammit I will as God is my witness

    • TopIdol permalink
      September 15, 2009 6:46 pm

      I spent the night in Reno and the Sands / Terrible’s Hotel & Casino.

      All the Black Jack dealers’ name tags had their name, photo, and “BJ Dealer”.

  2. wino permalink
    September 15, 2009 2:57 pm

    glad you had fun….i missed this yr bc i was in spain (yeah, poor me) but ive heard good stories from all my friends who went. did you see the mirrored giant wheel?? my buddy alex designed it. anyhoo, i think all glamberts should attend BM once in their life so they can see lambert is not THAT unique….well, maybe in their lame / pot luck / oprah book club social circles, but in the REAL world, he’s just another sparkly face (one of many).

    • TopIdol permalink
      September 15, 2009 3:46 pm

      But I think they would make a lot of moop, what with all the feathered boas, loose glitter and sequins they would bring, no?

  3. cimi permalink
    September 14, 2009 12:44 am

    Are you the girl in the pic, Idol?

  4. Trish permalink
    September 12, 2009 11:00 pm

    TI, you are cutest thing! But what are you thinking showing your face on here? I’m worried some angry nutjob might want to cut you.

  5. deez permalink
    September 11, 2009 12:30 am

    In Idol News: perhaps the name of the tour should be changed to “Swine Flu Live!”

    (I’m kidding okay….before I get slammed by a random tard for being a virus-ophobe)
    Apparently, all the guys except for Gokey (hmmmm…what will Pastor Rolex tweet?) are sick. Kris coughing, sweating, fever, etc…had to sit out the show, now Adam has a fever.

  6. d. b. cooper permalink
    September 10, 2009 10:36 pm

    Your description of Burning Man was genius. Makes me wish I was there.

    This past weekend I went to Dragon*Con in Atlanta for the first time. It’s kind of Comic*Con’s younger, less popular, east coast brother. I would call it Atlanta’s Nerdnik. It is full of people in costumes and especially full of women of all shapes and sizes in elaborate corsets. I saw Hunter S. Thompson, black Batman and Catwoman, a guy in a steampunk wheelchair, and all manner of zombies, zombie killers, and Ghostbusters. There was evil Spiderman in a business suit. There was a woman who gave a lecture on the heroic journey in the Lord of the Rings who sounded like she was reading her college thesis, who used the phrase “mind-thoughts” more than 4 times, and who somehow worked G.I. Joe and Tranformers into the talk (I counted 34 walk-outs in a crowd of 55, friends dragged me). There was a really good lecture on whether or not Intelligent Design is science. Answer: no, it is not. A fun time was had by all.

    • deez permalink
      September 10, 2009 11:48 pm

      This actually sounds more up my alley…due to the fact that I could go back to my air-conditioned hotel room for a nice shower at the end of the day. (I’m a total wuss)

      “Mind-thoughts”, lol…I had an elementary school teacher who would tell us to use our “thinking heads”…( hmmmmm…was this speaker about 4’11’ , 85lbs, roughly 80 years old, and calling herself “Miss Gwennie?”)

      • TopIdol permalink
        September 11, 2009 2:10 am

        You could always get an RV ๐Ÿ™‚

      • September 13, 2009 1:47 am

        Hello, my name is Gwen and I’m here to wash your vagina.

    • TopIdol permalink
      September 11, 2009 1:58 am

      I’ve heard of Dragon Con! I want to go! Unfortunately, I think it always overlaps with BM, no? It looked pretty cool. They had some BSG people there, right?

      • d. b. cooper permalink
        September 11, 2009 2:21 am

        I believe they do conflict every year. Lame, cuz there is definitely overlap in the clientele.

        There were definitely BSG panels and BSG costumes, I even think they had a BSG party. I don’t know if any of the people that were in it or wrote it were officially there though, probably some were.

        Shatner and Nimoy were there. I saw Charisma Carpenter, who played Cordelia Chase on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, walking around the vendors. I know that Charlaine Harris, who writes the Sookie Stackhouse novels that True Blood is based on, gave a talk. I would have liked to have seen that. I only went the last two days which are apparently when the place kind of calms down.

        Deez, it was Miss Gwennie! I kid, it was some woman who probably never taught you.

  7. AIFan permalink
    September 10, 2009 8:47 pm

    Niiiiiice !

  8. SarahBeth permalink
    September 10, 2009 12:00 pm

    Love the recap, welcome back!

    So glad you had a great time!

  9. maxhate permalink
    September 10, 2009 10:31 am


  10. freedavidcook permalink
    September 10, 2009 7:09 am

    Man, I am so jealous, well, except for the dust. i cannot cope with dust,…. or spiders… or Cooktards.

    • TopIdol permalink
      September 10, 2009 10:56 am

      You totally get used to the dust. I swear. It becomes rather easy living with the dust, unlike spiders and Cooktards.

  11. Stacy permalink
    September 10, 2009 3:16 am

    You missed Ellen Degeneres taking over Paula’s seat and everyone freaking out.

    Please talk some sense into these people who seem to want another Shit For Brains.

  12. September 10, 2009 1:41 am

    Is that Rickey in the third photo?

    What did you miss? Only the same old crap from the same old frauen.

    Right now most of the failures from AI8 are at a Baldy gig in LA. Even Beasty is there, probably selling more merch to the suckers.

    • TopIdol permalink
      September 10, 2009 1:45 am

      What about TOM????

      Beasty is now hawking merchandise at a Cook gig? Noooooooo.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: