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The Most Beautifully Fraked Up Idol Tour Recap of ALL TIME — DivaKalina in Pittsburgh, PA

September 11, 2009

DivaKalina goes to the American Idol Tour in Pittsburgh

To everyone else who sent me a recap, I love you. And I loved your recaps. But I can’t even compare them to this incredible shit show of an adventure because it’s like apples and oranges. DivaKalina’s Idol tale is straight up Fear & Loathing at the Mellon Arena.

It also offers almost irrefutable evidence about many Lambert fans never before seeing a gay male, let alone conversing with one.

Let’s begin, shall we?

My dearest Top Idol.

I know this may be a bit late (better late than pregnant) but I have to share my AMAZING experience at American Idols Live in Pittsburgh, PA.  I’m submitting this one-time exclusive review to you and only you as I feel you are the only one that can truly appreciate the rabbit hole myself and my friends fell through this fateful Saturday. I love your demented head. Pictures are attached to follow along with the high points of this shit show!

Let me start by giving the standard disclaimer, I am known as DIVA (it’s not a nickname it’s a social status) and I am not a HUGE American Idol fan, I could live without it.  I used Season 7 as a reason to drink during the week, much like Pittsburgh Steelers games.  This year, I got into it simply because I had a love for, sorry, Adam Lambert.  Actually, I wanted to hear him sing while I did a slow grind on his long freaky legs…like a little “Pocket Gay”.  Early on in the season, people all around me started making comparisons to my appearances and Adam Lambert’s — and I admit, there are times I catch myself in the mirror or I am photographed and the similarities are a little shocking.  As a matter of fact, one night we all got shit-canned in a piano bar and we had the whole place convinced I WAS Adam Lambert. (I’m 30, he’s 28 – I’ve been looking like a freakshow A LOT longer, ok???)

I was not willing to attend this show with my HILARIOUS friends unless I rolled in true DIVA fashion- meaning I wanted air-conditioning, Miller Light, and to meet these little bastards that call themselves American Idols.  So, my dear friends, Ali and Libby, met my list of demands and off to the Pittsburgh show we went.

We had to be there by 3 in the afternoon to be at the meet ‘n greet before the show, so being from the backwoods of PA we got there at 2 so we could finish the beer drinking we started at noon (I don’t condone road-doggin’ it, but this was American Idol so….).  We chose a private parking lot away from the throng of Puffy-Paint swamp donkeys that were lined by the buses so we could booze and pee in God’s eyes only.  By 3, we were pretty much toasted so we decided to head into the mass of people gathered around the Mellon Arena.

The moment I stepped on Mellon Arena grounds the Cougars. Went. BAT-SHIT.  I was approached immediately by one Coug that kept asking Libby who I was, finally she says:

“I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!”

“Who?” I asked.

“I SAW YOU AND ADAM IN ROLLING STONE MAGAZINE AND YOU TWO ARE SUCH A CUTE COUPLE!”

With this, I looked at my two friends (who are now red-faced and pissing themselves) and we all had dollar-signs in our eyes.  I then knew it was time to work the Cougs into a hot frenzy of Mary Kay and Aquanet.

I then explained to this simple Cougar that I was Adam’s boyfriend and she had to keep it down because I didn’t want to be mobbed.  She then asked to get a picture with me (the first of 150 I posed for that night) and to please pass Adam a note, which had her name, her daughters name and their phone numbers scribed on it…then at the very bottom it had very specific instructions for my boyfriend to leave them backstage passes at the will-call area.

The Coug broke her vow of silence and soon enough the whole place was worked into a frenzy.  I told everyone to please keep it down but Adam and I will be staying at the Marriot and going to the bar there for a couple drinks after show (if a rep from the Marriot is reading this, you bastards owe me a drink.)

People were asking for my number, to attend their bah mitzvahs, I got stuffed animals, Adam got stuffed animals, Libby and Ali had to eventually step in and act as my entourage to get the throngs of  crazy fantards off of me.  We promptly retreated to out Miller Light safety zone.

Soon came the time for security to usher us into the meet ‘n greet, but first they instructed us to not speak to the Idols, not pose for pictures with the Idols — basically treat them like Madonna.  I thought – LAME.  After signing autographs and posing for pics for an hour as Adam Lambert’s boyfriend I at least deserve to talk to the kid, or be his boyfriend.

We walked in and we could see everyone scurrying through the autograph line as Adam Lambert and Megan Joy whispered and pointed at me.  Libby, now ready to pimp me to Adam Lambert, placed her thumb in my back as we approached him and as I walked to Adam Lambert he stopped the line.

Oh Shit.

He looked up at me from under the brim of his hat and smiled at me and asked me how I was doing.  I know you all may hate to hear this, but I fell in love at that moment.  I heard Heart’s “Alone” in my head and pictured myself rolling around on that autograph table like I was that crazy bitch from American Beauty.  I also hate to say to y’all that when he looks at you, you know GREATNESS just looked at you.  He’s TO DIE FOR in person.  Ok…enough.  I responded “good honey, how are you?” and he said “good, good” and the security behind him (he was the only one with security) started shitting a Buick for me to keep moving. He then asked my name to which I responded DI-VA.  He laughed and asked if I was having a good night, I said I’m trying and motioned to the security now crying in their cribs.

Libby screamed from over my shoulder that she needs “a G. Damned picture of Adam Lambert and Diva”.  Adam explained, with some anger, that he had to stay planted.  I kept walking and after passing Megan, Lil, and Allison up in a daze, I heard Libby and Adam Lambert yelling for me to come back.
“You can get a picture!” Adam yelled.

Oh Shit.

I turned around and I straddled that autograph table like it was paying my frigging rent.  At this point security laid an egg and ushered Libby and I out.  As we watched the rest of the cattle call (and I do mean cattle call — I don’t think I’m God’s gift, but after seeing the other Bingo Hall Babes coming out of that room: I see why Adam and Megan were pointing at me), security approached Libby and me.

Oh Shit.  We’re going to be the first assholes from Butler to get kicked out of an American Idol concert.

We were silently passed an envelope which held five (the exact number of people in our party) backstage passes for after the show.

TITS!

We drank some more, greeted some more adoring fans, and eventually the show started. I was heckled by Cougs and Fantards the whole way through the show, and I was totally in the bag, but I will try to remember the concert to the best of my ability.

Michael Sarver: Was an amazing hype man to start the show, addressed the audience well and seemed to pump everyone up.  Don’t remember his set.

Megan Joy: LOVED HER.  She sounded ten times better live and with the experience she gained since the show.  She hit some notes that actually gave me chills.  The girl had balls.

These may be out of order at this point because I lost my marbles after my third trip to the beer stand and only two performers.

Diamond Lil Rounds: SO MUCH FUN!  She’s only a little Polly Pocket in person but she is ALL MIGHTY LARGE on stage.  She didn’t impress me at all on the show but she blew me away like I was in the back of a truck at a Gunz ‘n Roses show!  Totally acceptable version of “Single Ladies”!

Anoopi Dogg: Anoop’s parent’s were in the audience.  Love them so much better than Anoop, and they love me.  Anoopi-noop got boo’d…sad.

Scotty The Body: BEER RUN.  My friends said he was hilarious though, did a little stand-up action

Matt Giraud: He’s tight as balls to hang out with, did an impressive set and played some MEAN keys!!

Danny Gokey: BEER RUN.

Allison Iraheta: Allison, La Princess, is a firecracker on stage.  She looks the part, acts the part, IS the part.  (kind of nasty in person though, sorry Top Idol)

Adam Lambert: JESUS HIT THE MELLON ARENA.  I cried at how overwhelming his presence is, I laughed at how inappropriate it was that he essentially raped the stage with no Vaseline, I got the chills from the incredible notes he hit, I was jealous of that jacket he wore.  I basically went through every emotion in the book.  I went through menopause during Adam Lambert’s incredible set.

Kris Allen: VERY GOOD, but he followed a tough act.  I missed a little bit because I needed a cig and a beer after that sexual experience.

After the show, we entered backstage (with Mr. and Mrs. Anoopi close to my side) and partied with the Idols.  No, my boyfriend was not there.  The Cougs backstage asked me where he was and I had to explain he could not attend the backstage hangout session due to doctor’s orders (I have a head ok? I have Twitter, this wasn’t a lie!) so I filled in for Adam and posed with all the Desperates and the Hungrys and the Lonelys.  Everything was drunk and horny until we approached Kris Allen.

“Where’s your hot wife?” Libby asked.

Kris — who is as cute as a button but SO NERVOUS — begins to ramble.

Libby cutting Kris off: “Oh, Will you sign my cans!?”

Cue Libby (who looks like my mental little brother) lifts up her t-shirt and gives Kris a nipple slip.  Kris signed the jugs, shaking like a leaf the whole time and we moved on to corrupt Matt Giraud.

Matt Giraud noticed that I had a lot of jewels on and he asked me if he could borrow one of my bracelets.  I said hell yes and gave him one.  We posed for a pic and I got to see the existence of QUATTO THE MOLE. I loved Matty G, and he signed Lib’s sorry knockers like he’s never seen them before!

We then posed for a pic with Scott but didn’t really feel the need to talk to him, or have him sign the knock-knocks, so we moved on to Allison.  As we approached her we could see a Coug with her desperate hand-drawn poster of Adam Lambert sprawled out and she was writing her name and number on it.  Allison pointed out that I looked like Adam and she agreed and I grabbed the pen and scrolled DIVA and my phone number quite large across her poster.  Then said “There — give THAT to Adam Lambert”  The Cougar then busted into tears. Libby busted a gut. Allison got pissed that she had to comfort this Coug.  She refused to sign the cans and we walked away.  Megan and Lil ROCK and got a real laugh out of us drunk Butler assholes.

The amazing night ended back in a dive bar in Butler County, PA with a text message from Marilyn, the original Cougar to me that read:

Marilyn: Hi Drake, it’s Marilyn we’re at the Marriot where you told us to be. Are you and Adam coming down?

Me: We’re in bed.

Marilyn: With Adam????

That didn’t even warrant a response.  With that being said:

I am NOT Adam’s boyfriend, I wish them both luck and should he and Drake not work out he can hit me up though — my number’s on that hungry poster or any Pizza Hut bathroom stall in the Tri-State area.

BTW: The Cougs Still Love Me!

You know you want to see more photos, right? Like one of DivaKalina and the cougs:

DivaKalina and a "Coug" at the American Idol Show in Pittsburgh

Here is Libby with Kris Allen…yo, Diva, doesn’t your camera have a red-eye reduction functionality?

Libby and Kris Allen in Pittsburgh (Mellon Arena)

One of my favorites, DivaKalina with Anoop’s parents!!!! Love Anoop’s Parents! And pissed off assholes booed Anoop. His fraking parents were in the audience. Assholes.

DivaKalina and the Desais!

DivaKalina and Quatto the Mole’s human vessel. Notice the bracelet.

DivaKalina and Quatto the Mole

DivaKalina meets his future boyfriend. Not sure what the woman in the back is doing…

DivaKalina and Adam Lambert in Pittsburgh (Mellon Arena)

And here is one more of Adam Lambert…just because I know what the people want 🙂

Adam Lambert signing autographs in Pittsburgh at the Mellon Arena

Thank you, DivaKalina. If only we had more time, we could go to an Idol show together.

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52 Comments leave one →
  1. Nicole permalink
    September 17, 2009 5:59 pm

    Love it! I thought he looked familiar and then realized as I read on that we are from the same town! Definitely my favorite recap!

  2. d. b. cooper permalink
    September 17, 2009 1:11 am

    I really think this is blurring the line of fantarding, because a lot of what was described was fantarding.

  3. Kayt permalink
    September 16, 2009 10:35 pm

    haha I loved this! You are hilarious!!

  4. Kimberly permalink
    September 16, 2009 5:03 pm

    Maybe not all that interesting, but I’ve been thinking about the VMAs and the American Idol season in relation to musical expectations. Are we getting to the point that singing alone is no longer enough in a performance? I certainly understand the need to push the boundaries, making something edgy, new, buzz-worthy. But then what? Does every artist now have to be aerialists or feign masturbation on stage to hold an audience’s attention? (BTW, Pink was phenomenal. That performance should have been what the world was talking about and not Kanye.) The public’s expectations keep getting higher. Will the artist with a guitar or sitting at a piano becoming passe? Do artist now have to keep raising the bar, like musical Harry Houdinis? Can Pink top that? Should she have to? Does the audience expect her to? What about American Idol? Where do they go from here? Can the next group of contestants hold a candle to season 8? Will they need to get back to basics? Or will slickly choreographed, professionally flawless vocals be the norm? I’m all for back to basics. But then again, every so often, it’d be really cool seeing the likes of an emotive Pink soar through the air slaying us with killer vocals.

    Not all that interesting, but couldn’t help but wonder about Season 9 of Idol. You only have yourself to blame, asking for HELP! Fanwar inducing?

    • TopIdol permalink
      September 16, 2009 5:31 pm

      When has Idol ever been about singing? Plus, they’ve even gotten rid of the one person who had a fairly successful career IN FRONT of the mic/camera.

      Regarding the VMAs, Kayne bores me. I like his music, but he’s a blowhard. Although I would rather hang out with him over Lady Gaga. Ok, GaGa, we get it. You’re an artist. YOU’RE SHOCKING.

      The more people go out of their way to be shocking, the more boring they become. I can’t bear to do anything more than roll my eyes at the likes of them.

  5. Costas permalink
    September 16, 2009 2:46 pm

    I saw DivaKalina and his friends at the backstage meet and greet and asked him to take a picture with my kids because he looked like Adam and he was really nice guy and did. A lot of people took pics of him and with him. I also sat in front of him ( between DivaKalina and Anoops parents) and he took pictures with everyone that bothered him even some girl that had a CHEEKS sign. (I thought you were supposed to be Adam’s bf DivaKalina?! haha) I also saw them yucking it up with Lil and she seemed to be enjoying herself with them. I personally did not see them act out of order with anyone or any Idol. I did see the situation with the poster and there seemed to be some confusion and then DivaKalina did apologize and Allison took a picture with him as well, Allison seemed more annoyed by the girl (who I think was about 20) than the others. I think there may be some harsh people on here blowing things out of proportion.

  6. Kimberly permalink
    September 16, 2009 1:19 pm

    The only amusing part of this case is that the girl who asked Kris to sign, seems to be mocking fantard behavior and was not ’serious’ in her intention.

    Bingo.

    *** Oh, I see. Okay, then. Just wondering, was Allison in on the joke? Or do we care? She probably doesn’t even remember them anyway … on to bigger and better things.

    • TopIdol permalink
      September 16, 2009 1:20 pm

      What will I write about now??? The tour ended!!!

      Help! 🙂

      • deez permalink
        September 16, 2009 2:28 pm

        Eehhhh…you won’t have to wait long. Singles are on the horizon.Fanwars will resume. All will be right with the world.

        The title of Kris’s single is “Live Like We’re Dying” which is supposedly a cover(?) of a song by The Script(?). Looked it up on Youtube….meh. I guess it was too much to actually believe they’d let HBD do whatever he wanted for the debut. Oh, well this is prolly enough to cause somebody’s head to burst into flame. So, there ya’ go….

  7. TTBad permalink
    September 16, 2009 9:13 am

    so lemme get this straight…you asshats let yourselves and your kids bow down to adam lambert who pretty much had sex with his mic in front of your kids, came out as gay in rolling stone, told the world he likes to experiment with illegal drugs and allow your kids to witness underwear and sex toys being thrown at him and your precious 17 yr old allison (who lets her body show a lot more than libby did) and then have the nerve to rip these people down from the way they look? you guys are the ones that are rude and improper. allison didn’t see any boobs other than her own. so take your proper parent card and burn it, take your “i’m not a fantard” attitudes and check them. look in the mirror. if anyone is crying or talking the way you peeps are talking you are taking this way too seriously. last time i checked its our right as americans to drink whereever the F we want after we turn 21. BTW i’m not hating on adam or allison, im hating on you asshats. I understand what you guys were trying to share with us and thank you. diva k you rock, libby you rock. lets go to a show sometime!

    • Libby permalink
      September 17, 2009 10:25 pm

      I am Libby, Diva’s friend. We are not bad people. We just like to get drunk and have fun. Sorry for the idiots out there who can’t have a little bit of humor in their lives. We met some H-list celebrities and made the most of it. TTBad, I would like to party with you and figure out who the hell ABPitt is….please help me out TopIdol.

      • TopIdol permalink
        September 18, 2009 1:52 am

        I LOVE LIBBY!!! (Sorry, I’m not more verbose, but I’m drunk and need to take a nappy nap before work.)

  8. badmood permalink
    September 16, 2009 8:56 am

    Btw I agree with other comments that the signing breasts thing and trashing the girl’s work (who by the way apparently wasn’t a cougar, hmm) was a classless thing to do. But hey, I guess it’s to be expected.

    I don’t know why you would have to be a jellus hater to respond negatively to this recap, the commenters are just stating the obvious.

  9. kiss_____chi permalink
    September 16, 2009 7:40 am

    What a fbastard.This diva guy looks like some 40 years old dude and disgusting.I feel sorry for that poor lady.Even if she is delusional,you still can’t deface her hand drawn.He is def 10000000000x worst than her.People who find this bullshittttt funny are so cruel.Topidol and this diva guy should be burn in hell now.If I was there,I would had slapped his face.

    • TopIdol permalink
      September 16, 2009 12:25 pm

      But telling me and one of my readers to burn in hell is perfectly acceptable??

  10. Deen permalink
    September 15, 2009 7:33 pm

    Um, yeah. Going along with being mistaken for Drake? Could be funny. Being over-the-top and outrageous and making the Idols laugh? Awesome.

    Asking someone to sign your breasts? So incredibly tacky and inappropriate. Asking a 17-year-old girl to sign your breasts? FELONIOUS. As well as tacky and inappropriate.

    Defacing someone’s artwork, into which they put a lot of time and effort? Cruel. Not funny, so don’t give me this lighten-up shit. It’s just cruel, and if you think it’s funny in any way you need to get yourself a life.

  11. magnolia11 permalink
    September 15, 2009 7:08 pm

    Nah I’m not a ‘hater’ – like I said, I was backstage right there with them. I just thought it was in very poor taste to flash boobs when small kids are right there in the room. Sure they’ll probably see worse but it was unnecessary and really not funny.
    It was quite clear they were all drunk, btw…and while I know nothing of their background (Christians, etc.) they were rude to other people there. Now I can’t speak for those who wanted THEIR autographs/pictures…I didn’t really witness that. I’m referring to the post-show meet and greets with the idols who they were rude to.
    I personally do find it funny that they thought he was Drake and played right along with it. Like I said, it was the drunken rude/obnoxious behavior that was a bit much.
    Not sure why they weren’t kicked out by security. I didn’t really SEE security to be honest…I saw some guy who was some kind of manager?..that led us down to the room..he was kind of a mediator, but he couldn’t be with every idol at once. Plus no one was endangering anyone…just being exceptionally rude.

    • TopIdol permalink
      September 16, 2009 12:49 am

      Mediator? Mediator? Hilarious. I’m just glad no one was auditing Idols with e-meters.

      I saw no mediators in Boston, then again, the worst I did was use the men’s bathroom. Damn me for being shy.

      Still not sure how religion got into this debate, btw.

    • blacklisted permalink
      September 16, 2009 12:52 am

      “I just thought it was in very poor taste to flash boobs when small kids are right there in the room.”

      Poor taste? You mean like throwing dildos and whips on stage during a ‘family show’? OMG, let’s think of the chillin’!

      Eh, at least breasts are functional and every child has seen a pair of droopy tatas.

      If poster girl was 10 I would feel bad for her. To be honest, I have a feeling that the venue people and the other idols just threw the useless stuff out. In fact, judging by Allison getting pissy at these people, I bet she was the type to throw this type of shit out instead of wasting Adam’s time.

      • TopIdol permalink
        September 16, 2009 2:06 am

        And how many of them had to deal with being messengers for Lambert? Feel bad for all of them in that respect.

        • blacklisted permalink
          September 16, 2009 9:49 am

          “And how many of them had to deal with being messengers for Lambert? Feel bad for all of them in that respect.”

          Exactly. You wouldn’t ask a co-headliner at a concert to hand deliver your homemake art project to the other co-headliner. Alas, it appears that most of these individuals have never attended a real concert.

          If the fangirl wanted her artwork delivered she needed to send it to Adam’s fan address and they would get it to him. It is NOT appropriate to request that other idols deliver gifts to your chosen one. Talk about tacky and classless.

          BTW, the double standard that ‘because poor krissofer’ is married, the nipple signage is is wrong, makes no sense. It is NEVER going to be a classy thing to ask ANYONE to sign your tits. Implying that it’s okay for Adam to sign the udders b/c he’s gay or Matt sign them b/c he’s a whore, is ridiculous.

          It would be tacky even when asking an inebriated rock star. Now, some celebs might find it funny or par for course, but that doesn’t make it any more ‘classy’. I would never do it, but if some big titted heiffer thinks it’s an okay thing to do for herself, then go ahead. I’ll probably snicker but then again I snicker at all fangirl behavior. The only amusing part of this case is that the girl who asked Kris to sign, seems to be mocking fantard behavior and was not ‘serious’ in her intention.

          • TopIdol permalink
            September 16, 2009 12:27 pm

            The only amusing part of this case is that the girl who asked Kris to sign, seems to be mocking fantard behavior and was not ’serious’ in her intention.

            Bingo.

      • magnolia11 permalink
        September 16, 2009 8:29 am

        Oh I completely agree about the dildo thing….of course I doubt any little kid is going to know what a dildo is if its thrown on stage?
        Nah I meant ‘mediator’ backstage..I guess mediator was the wrong word. I just meant he was making sure nothing completely inappropriate was going on. Ruining someone else’s poster didn’t warrant getting kicked out, which makes sense. I was just trying to make a point that while the girl wasn’t 10, she wasn’t a ‘coug’ either. I think the point of her crying is that someone just looked at her poster that she prob. worked on for a while and thought it was crap enough to write all over it. You’re right, Adam prob. wouldnt have seen it anyway and I’m sure no one appreciates being the middleman for Adam since he was never back there.
        Again, all I was trying to say, in my own long-winded way, was that they were unncessarily rude back there.

  12. IMA Cougar permalink
    September 15, 2009 7:00 pm

    Yea, I am a cougar, from a small town in PA and I also had back stage passes. You were rude, crude, annoying, loud, pushy and a big fat pain back there. Face it, all you wanted to do was flash whatever you could to whoever you could. I feel sorry for those who have to drink to have a good time. If Gokey was a “beer run” as you refer to him, I saw your asses and boobs in line for him like everyone else. The IDOLS are gracious and polite because they know they have to deal with a-holes like you.

  13. ListenUp permalink
    September 15, 2009 6:58 pm

    Look, I don’t care if they were Christian or not, or whether it was just American Idol. Flashing someone like that is utterly disgusting and stupid. There’s no justification for that; I’m sorry. First and foremost, Kris is MARRIED. You are degrading yourselves by asking him to sign your boobs. WTF. Just…so fucking classless.

  14. badmood permalink
    September 15, 2009 5:34 pm

    Sorry but I’m loling so hard at ‘cynical with a dark twist of humor’. Jesus, it’s just AMERICAN IDOL. Some of you are as funny as the crazies.

  15. ABPitt99 permalink
    September 15, 2009 5:11 pm

    IF THEY WERE CAUSING AS BIG OF A DEAL AS YOU STIFFS ARE MAKING IT OUT TO BE WOULDN’T SECURITY HAVE KICKED THEM OUT INSTEAD OF INVITING THEM BACK????????? WHO DO YOU THINK SENT THEM BACK??????

    Yuppie, you need to get a clue. First and foremost who are you to say that these Diva and Co. are not Christian and/or married – for your information some of them are BOTH. Secondly, hearing this story first hand from someone else in this party of people, Diva and friends were not in anyway mean or ignorant to any of the people that approached THEM or bothered THEM, in fact quite the opposite. The Idols were not in any way put off by them and were actually very entertained and relieved to be around people their own age that were just down to earth. Diva and Libby and the others offered to get things signed for some people and were very polite and posed for pictures. This recap was simply written from the view in which Top Idol’s blog is written: cynical with a dark twist of humor. Go to other fluffy American Idol blogs if you want it pretty. If the worst thing Kris Allen asks to get signed are boobs- he’s not had much of a career. You people sound jealous and ridiculous! LET IT GO HAVE A DRINK AND HAVE A LAUGH

    • TopIdol permalink
      September 15, 2009 5:34 pm

      Judging from my experiences at the David Cook show and the one Idol concert I’ve attended, I can attest to some pretty rude behavior on behalf of rabid Idol fans. This group went and decided to have fun. DivaK didn’t go there with the intention of being mistaken for this Drake person or Lambert. They just went to the show…and they got backstage passes and raised hell. All without wearing anything with puffy paint (I kid, I kid.)

      I love Yuppie, so this isn’t directed at her, but me thinks a lot of the people who are angrily reacting to this recap are just JELLUS HATERS who are pissed because this group got backstage passes, perhaps?

      And again, none of this is pointed at Yuppie whatsoever. Because I genuinely like Yuppie.

  16. yuppie permalink
    September 15, 2009 4:04 pm

    Wow, I don’t really find this awesome or funny at all. I find it completely rude, actually. So, you think the woman is delusional for making artwork of Adam and thinking he will call her? Yeah, probably. But, how in the heck does that give you the right to deface her property–and not just any property, but something that she obviously spent a lot of time creating? And, excuse me, but to call Allison the rude one, when she was responding to the fact that you made a fan cry right in front of her just for shits and giggles? No. The rude person in this situation would be you, and the fact that Allison was willing to sign anything for you at all at that point shows that she has WAY more class than you. Don’t even get me started on then asking her to sign boobs.

    And I’m sorry, but why is someone who wants to give Adam artwork she made of him more of a crazy fan than someone who asks Kris Allen, the happily married Christian guy to sign her boobs? Again, not feeling it.

    Fantards may be delusional, but you were just plain mean. I’m glad you had such a fun time entertaining yourselves at the expense of other people’s feelings.

    (*Also, I doubt Anoop was getting booed. Fans at concerts yell “Noooop” at him when he performs. )

    • TopIdol permalink
      September 15, 2009 4:13 pm

      I think you’re right about the “noooop”, too 🙂

      • d. b. cooper permalink
        September 17, 2009 1:01 am

        I’m pretty sure everyone despises Anoop and thinks he’s boring, so most likely they were booing and not ‘nooping. People really hate him. You should have heard the vitriol spewed at him when I saw the concert. Really nasty stuff, not just stuff you couldn’t repeat around children, but stuff you couldn’t repeat in front of the most hardened convict.

  17. Millie permalink
    September 15, 2009 4:00 pm

    I feel like I stepped into a pile of poop titled, “Middle-Aged Mean Girls.”

    First of all, you do not look like Adam Lambert. The closest celebrity resemblance I could see was to Kramer on Seinfeld. Who, newsflash, is neither hot nor cool.

    Secondly, you had no right to destroy anyone’s artwork, regardless of age/appearance/crazy level. It’s not funny. It’s cruel and malicious.

    Thirdly, asking anyone to sign your ‘can’s? Totally tacky. Not funny. And when you see someone put off by your inappropriate request you make fun of them or call them nasty? The nasty here is in this behavior.

  18. Sylvia permalink
    September 15, 2009 3:32 pm

    Wow. Congratulations, you’re a douchebag.

  19. ohnojustno permalink
    September 15, 2009 3:29 pm

    Wow, the only funny part of this appalling story is that this Diva dude thinks he looks like Adam Lambert.

    What a bunch of assholes.

  20. wino permalink
    September 15, 2009 2:50 pm

    can you blame HBD and Allison for reacting strangely to those sloppy sagging jugs? gross. there should be a mandate on who gets to act lewd in public…if you arent considered attractive w. your clothes ON, then dont take them OFF. simple.

  21. ABPitt99 permalink
    September 14, 2009 1:59 pm

    I have actually had the honor to party with these people once or twice and I can assure you all they are very good people and a total riot to be around! This is so hilarious and I can promise you all that it’s all in good fun!

  22. LeighKat permalink
    September 14, 2009 12:42 pm

    Wow. While some of this was amusing it was also disturbing to me. Madam Tatas- not cool in my book. About 100 steps too far over the boundaries. Really worse behaviour than the “cougars”, “cows” and “fantards” that you make fun of.

  23. magnolia11 permalink
    September 13, 2009 8:00 pm

    I was actually at the Pittsburgh show..and the after-show meet and greet.
    While I do not take AI too seriously (despite what this reply may sound like), I found all the idols back there to be very nice, not to mention tolerant.
    The girl with the poster…not a ‘coug’. She was late teens/early 20’s..tops. And yes, she was delusional in thinking Adam was going to call her, but the point was that she drew a beautiful picture, that sure, Adam most likely wouldn’t see anyway, but it was incredibly out of line to do that to her. Again, she was definitely not of cougar age. And Allison probably didn’t appreciate having to calm this girl down after her poster was ruined…for no reason. I’m surprised she posed for pics with you after that, but she did. I believe she said she wouldn’t lecture you like she should, but she would be willing to take pics with you…which she did.
    And to ask a 17-year-old girl to sign your boobs? Not exactly classy. Thats why she reacted the way she did. I was standing right there and witnessed the whole thing.
    This whole group actually probably ruined this experience for those who were ‘serious’ about meeting the idols (some of them YOUNG kids, btw)…by butting in front of people and being incredibly disrespectful to the idols.

    Just my point of view.

  24. SarahBeth permalink
    September 13, 2009 7:28 pm

    OMG. I could not stop laughing.

    Loved the recap, loved the pictures.

  25. Kimberly permalink
    September 13, 2009 2:16 am

    1st pic — Diva’s doo deflated. Ain’t easy playing with Cougars.

    Some of those Cougars set themselves up for ridicule — a grown woman actually crying and worse yet, actually expecting Adam to actually call her … the thing is it’s just so tragic to even be funny. One thing I do love is that Allison doesn’t take crap from anybody — Diva or not. How many Red Bulls did Kris drink? Might have made HBD a little jumpy and rambly. Just sayin’. Though having that hot mess’s tits in his face might have done it, too. Kris was probably wishing he was signing his hot wife’s “jugs” right about then and not the horror show that was in front of him. At least, Allison had the “balls” to say no.

    • TopIdol permalink
      September 13, 2009 4:53 pm

      I really just love the whole “Adam and I are having drinks in the Marriott bar” part for some odd reason. It’s just…

      And I don’t know where DivaKalina’s mobile is out of, but I’m assuming it is a PA area code, and well, wouldn’t any normal person wonder why a guy who lives in LA (and previous New Orleans, I think, but I’m not sure) has a PA phone?

  26. Dfeel permalink
    September 12, 2009 11:54 pm

    Funny recap.
    But maybs Allison was nasty cause you came off really annoying and disrespectful in your meeting with her? Obsessed cougar or not, Allison probs doesnt feel like dealing with crying people so you causing that must have set her off don’t you think?
    Think a lil bit…..

  27. September 12, 2009 11:03 pm

    Miller Lite?! Pussy.

  28. Trish permalink
    September 12, 2009 10:58 pm

    Okay, that was, without a doubt, the funniest Idol Tour recap EVER! mj is going to be jealous, TI! 😉

    And wasn’t Kris Allen quoted as saying the most bizarre request he’d gotten on tour was to sign some woman’s boobies? ROTFLMAO

    • TopIdol permalink
      September 13, 2009 4:51 pm

      I thought about that…did he confuse Pittsburgh with Boston?

      • yuppie permalink
        September 15, 2009 4:42 pm

        He never specified–said he couldn’t remember exactly, but was somewhere on the East Coast, maybe Boston. At least, that’s what I remember. It’s not like I’m a Kris tard who has memorized every thing he has ever said or anything. Not at all.

        • TopIdol permalink
          September 15, 2009 4:50 pm

          I remembered the Boston comment…wait…they didn’t do M&G in Boston.

          So perhaps that was the woman. Perhaps not? Hey, I love DivaKalina and I laughed my ass off at his recap and this could be the woman in question, perhaps, however…

          What is the likelihood of attempted boob-signings occurring multiple times on the Idol tour? Hmmm…bigger than we think, maybe? Hell, women are tossing sex toys on stage for Lambert and even Blind Guy is getting red bras now.

          I like thinking in terms of probability, I guess, but yes, this could be the woman HBD was referring to.

          (Now wishing I could get number of how many women have bared breasts while attending show on Idol tour…)

  29. zyzzyva permalink
    September 12, 2009 3:56 am

    “Not sure what the woman in the back is doing…”

    I’m pretty sure that’s Megan making a reaction face for the camera. hee 🙂
    You can see the edge of her tattoo peeking out her sleeve.

  30. deez permalink
    September 12, 2009 12:22 am

    Loved it.

    “hot frenzy of Mary Kay and Aquanet” ….best metaphor of 2009.

    *sits back to wait for appearance of Gene*

  31. Mary permalink
    September 12, 2009 12:04 am

    hah what a great experience, I would love to party with you guys!

    Also, I’m thinking maybe Anoop was being “anooooooooooooooped” versus being booed. Unless this concert was at Duke University, I doubt he’s hated enough to get booed (I hope for his sake).

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