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The American Expat living in the UAE who loves Adam Lambert

September 28, 2009

Several people have sent me this long-winded blog post, which seems to be making the rounds in Lambertloonia today. And yes, I realize the intent of such a blog entry was all in good fun, perhaps, but…

(Maybe I just LOVE making Adam Lambert posts because I am a JELLUS HATER? Come on. We know that’s not true. We also know it’s slow-going in Idol news right now and I have no other shitty show to recap until Wednesday evening.)

I would LOVE to give credit to this woman for maintaining a blog about moving to another country, about moving a Jewish family to the middle east. Hell, the UAE fascinates me and I plan on getting to Dubai one of these days. I would love to say something nice.  I really would, I swear. I would love to give her props as a writer yet, maybe it’s the self-important, California Girl schtick I just don’t get. She was thrown out of an Idol concert multiple times, refers to her husband as Daddy (that, in and of itself is just…) and refers to her three children sleeping in a children’s wing. Oh. And their house in the UAE is sooooooo huge AND she has 24-housekeeping and childcare. I believe she refers to them as housemaids. She talks incessantly about Starbucks. She doesn’t work and seems to spend her time watching American TV and perusing the interweb for all things Adam Lambert.

Anyway, I could be wrong and perhaps she is a really, really, really nice woman with good intentions. Personally, I think she just needs something to do. Maybe get rid of one of the housemaids? Do you really need TWO for one toddler and two kids in school for at least part of the day when you’re uh, not working? After reading a bit of her blog, I learned more about being “Newish” in Dubai, which was, in fact, kind of interesting. Would have preferred more of it over the barrage of material items and housemaid talk. Maybe if my everyday life was suddenly transported to an entirely new world, I might take solace in the creature comforts of home, too. Maybe I would appreciate American Idol more? Nah….I will say, however, that I agree with her take about the desert often being preferable because the lack of mosquitoes.

I really don’t want to say anything negative about this woman. I do not know her, but this is what I really want to know: I AM wondering how she moved from the states at the end of 2008 and had rotting food in the refrigerator when they returned 8 months later…BUT her U.S. residence was decked out in a bunch of Adam Lambert stuff?

If you were going to have someone come in and post a bunch of Lambert photos, couldn’t they have gone through your fridge and tossed all the perishables? (Note to her friend Wendy: Next time, throw out the months-old milk when you post some Xerox-ed Rolling Stone covers to welcome your BFF home.)

Adam Lambert bedspread

Adam Lambert Toilet Seat Cover

Yes. I get always wonder about this sort of thing. I can’t help it. So shoot me. I really wish Wendy/Hot Pam Anderson Pre-Hepatitis C would have thrown out that rancid 1% Lowfat Milk with the December 2008 expiration date, okay?

So Daddy and I take the 3 rugrats and travel halfway around the world and suffer through literally 24 HOURS of travel, door to door, and, just when I am preparing to collapse in a defeated, lifeless heap on my USA doorstep, WHO should be waiting there to greet me?  None other than my gay soulmate, Adam Lambert!!  (Well, a giant Xerox copy of his Rolling Stone cover, but the surprise was almost as good as if he were there in the flesh.)  And he was ALSO there on the fridge… and in the utensil drawer… and on the tv… and *in* the toilet (I spared you that photo)… and, of course, sprawled invitingly on my bed.  I love the fact that my magnificent friend Wendy (wait, does she want an alias?  if so, she can be “Hot Pam Anderson Pre-Hepatitis C”) didn’t give a moment’s pause to whether *DADDY* would want to come home after 24 hours of grueling travel to find Adam Lambert sprawled invitingly on *HIS* bed.  (For those who are wondering: Nope.)   This, people, is what defines a TRUE friend.  HOT PAM ANDERSON PRE-HEPATITIS C, I WORSHIP YOU!!  I WILL BE FOREVER INDEBTED TO YOU FOR THE BEST. HOMECOMING. EVER!
(Editor’s Note: If someone can possibly arrange for the *real* Adam Lambert to be waiting for me in my house the next time we visit the USA, then Hot Pam Anderson Pre-Hepatitis C, I will need to retract the previous declaration.  You understand.)

So we’re really here: I am writing to you direct from our house in the USA (which, I believe, could fit in its entirety into the living and dining rooms of the Dubai house).  Aside from the filthy, repulsive, bloodsucking mosquito creatures that lurk in the bushes here, plotting their vicious attacks on my poor, unsuspecting toddlers, this place is treating us well so far.  (And it doesn’t hurt that, due to the COLOSSAL FAILURE of my packing efforts back in November, there is enough of our junk here in the house that it feels as if we never left.  Kids’ cups still in the dishwasher, 8 months later?  Check! Fermenting food still in the fridge, 8 months later?  You betcha!  There was even stuff in the clothes dryer– how considerate of me to prepare clean clothes for our arrival!)

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35 Comments leave one →
  1. September 30, 2009 7:57 pm

    You should read what her friends say about her. Apparently her being racist is just her wacky sense of humor 🙄

    http://www.idletard.com/blog/archives/11410

  2. Bubba57 permalink
    September 30, 2009 3:03 am

    Oh yeah..this woman actually lied and said she was La Princesa Mariachi’s family or something..and lied to Mama Iraheta..

  3. Verbally Dyslexic permalink
    September 30, 2009 1:14 am

    I shudder to think how her kids will turn out. Do the Glamberts/Glambs/Lambskanks/whatever draw the line at this kind of behaviour or do they admire her tenacity, I wonder?

    I really don’t want to give her any more attention than she obviously enjoys about her Adam obsession, but her dismissive attitude about other people and cultures annoys the hell out of me. Rich, self-absorbed and culturally-ignorant people make me rage.

  4. SpinningFasterAndFasterToNowhere permalink
    September 29, 2009 10:18 pm

    …and what shocked me is the follow Glamberts who posted comments on her blog like what she did was normal and ‘cool’.

    SICK.

    • TopIdol permalink
      September 29, 2009 10:47 pm

      You know she doesn’t approve anything which casts her in a negative light. That’s apparent after you read a couple paragraphs of any post. I would love to see her approve all the negative comments which have probably been made.

  5. SpinningFasterAndFasterToNowhere permalink
    September 29, 2009 10:17 pm

    The bitch is crazy. The part about her Filipino maid made he sick of her sorry ass.

  6. 8sourcandy permalink
    September 29, 2009 10:01 pm

    OMG, I actually read this blog. Thank you for validating my feelings. I feel significantly less sour.

  7. AIFan permalink
    September 29, 2009 9:51 pm

    She sounds sexually frustrated on top of everything else. Maybe her husband is not giving her enough of that kind of “attention”.

  8. September 29, 2009 8:09 pm

    I’m surprised Princess hasn’t lowered herself to comment here and call you masturbating geeks too. She’s so classy.

    Just stopping by to thank you for all the web traffic!

    You know, I had planned to write that you guys apparently have no sense of humor, but then I read these comments, and honestly, I laughed.

    So I take it you’re all virgins? That’s ok, you don’t have to be embarrassed, at least you have each other.

    Well, I WAS going to post my photo, just to let you know just how totally WRONG you’ve got me pegged, but then I got a vivid mental image of you geeks jerking off all over your keyboards, and that was a bit much, even for a girl who enjoys a good gang bang.

    Eat me, f*ckers!

    Love,
    “MOMMY”

    What a lovely person. Really. 🙄

    • Lauren permalink
      September 29, 2009 8:45 pm

      Oh my. This lady is scary. Where did she post that comment????

    • d. b. cooper permalink
      September 30, 2009 2:12 pm

      Gang bang? WTF?

  9. AIFan permalink
    September 29, 2009 7:54 pm

    This woman is desperate for attention. And clearly the only way she can get it is by being an obnoxious bitch. I bet in real life she has very few friends and her husband pays little attention to her, so she gets what she can on the Internet. I guess being hated by a lot of strangers on the Internet beats being ignored in real life. She needs a job, a hobby, a life.

    • TopIdol permalink
      September 29, 2009 8:15 pm

      She has a bachelors from Princeton and a JD from fucking Harvard. Quit work, pump out 3 kids in 5 years and then move to the UAE and employ HOUSEMAIDS and a DRIVER and then use someone you haven’t seen since middle school to try and get you into an Idol M&G when you’re visiting the states, and oh yeah, take advantage of La Princesa’s mother’s kindness and then bitch because she didn’t do enough. Sorry if I’m going off, but I value education. I don’t know this woman, and its her life, but I wouldn’t be sitting around doing nothing, bitching about my 3 kids who I’m not even taking care of and obsessing over Adam Lambert. I would be using my Ivy League education for something worthwhile. But then again, I’m not some self-important bitch with entitlement issues.

      Speaking of entitlement, I do remember something Adam Lambert once said (or Tweeted. Christ I hate Twitter.)

      Entitlement isn’t sexy.

  10. wino permalink
    September 29, 2009 4:40 pm

    direct quotes: Needless to say, I sat in my car and cried. And cried. It took me a couple of hours to regain my composure. I didn’t even want to go to the concert anymore.

    ummm, she’s an A D U L T, who sat in her car crying after she wasn’t able to meet Adam at the M&G. if that doesnt scream “ISSUES”, I don’t know what else will.

    The best part was lying to the Allison’s mom and then pouting that she wasnt able to score her the necessary backstage credential, labeling Mrs. Iraheta as the Mother Who Clearly Hadn’t Tried Hard Enough. Ha, classic.

    Living in LA, I run into numerous twits like this lady every day…obnoxious, pushy and entitled. Sadly, these ladies are never that smart or savvy as they think they appear. And usually, they aren’t physically attractive. Which adds to the embarrassment of the whole situation.

  11. wino permalink
    September 29, 2009 4:22 pm

    I’m bothered and saddened that a woman (a fking adult with children!) is boasting about her childish, embarrassing behavior. Her desperate attempt to appear ‘bad’ is no different from a teenager’s cry for attention. Look at me, look how cool I am, look at my house, omg im such a rebel. Blah Blah Blah . This woman needs a job or a hobby (non internet related). I wonder when was the last time she read a book. Does she even know where to buy books? And btw, calling the man you are sleeping with Daddy is a bit…ummm….MacKenzish (?). Side note: Since that story broke in the news, I only say “Dad” …. I can no longer add the -dy. I just cant. A need a couple of months to recover.

  12. SarahBeth permalink
    September 29, 2009 1:40 pm

    I’ve shared this blog with a handful of people and it’s just horrifying. Seriously. I read it last night and my in initial reaction was “are you KIDDING ME?”

    How the fuck is it appropriate for this bitch to act that way? Does she really think it’s endearing?

    I completely agree with this. Does she think this is appropriate behavior for a 35-year old mother of 3? God…I can’t even…process this.

    Her felonious fanfucktardary makes a certain group of Cook fans look sane and makes me feel so much better about the fangirling I do when its called for.

    • TopIdol permalink
      September 29, 2009 1:44 pm

      I’m more offended by her narcissism and entitlement than anything else.

      • Lakshmi permalink
        September 29, 2009 7:53 pm

        Narcissism and entitlement are par the course for expats living in the UAE. So is abusing your domestic help. A bit off topic (apologies, Top Idol, but I feel really strongly about this issue), but those interested in the plight of servants in the UAE should check this report out: http://www.hrw.org/en/reports/2007/11/13/exported-and-exposed-1

        • TopIdol permalink
          September 29, 2009 8:08 pm

          This turns my stomach. All of it.

          Laskhmi, you may know about the current situation than I do, but I was under the impression that many of the ambitious construction projects (That reminds me…this lovely gal enjoyed a dinner at that 7-star hotel, the name which escapes me now, but the one that charges $50 just to look in the lobby and releases doves every morning…) and businesses which were initially attracted to the area have gone by the wayside because while there are obviously people there with lots of money, the accelerated growth plan they intended for the area is completely screwed with the global recession and mainly just b/c they were out of control in the first place.

        • Lakshmi permalink
          September 29, 2009 9:57 pm

          That’s basically true. The UAE has been hit really hard by the current economic downturn and lots of projects have been canceled or abandoned. Because construction has suffered the most lots of workers have returned home (most of them are from the Indian Subcontinent). The whole economy of the region seems to have been built on the premise that things would only go up and therefore was totally unprepared for the current recession.

          Another thing I noticed about this blogger is that she has no interest or knowledge of the region’s culture, even though she voluntarily uprooted her family to Dubai. She has this super-indignant post about two friends of hers who were arrested for making out in public and she just couldn’t believe that her friend was jailed for two days. Well, that’s what happens in regions governed by Sharia law and her friends clearly got off easy because they were Westerners. Did she not know that people aren’t supposed to behave that way in the Middle East? That’s pretty naive.

      • Snotty permalink
        September 29, 2009 9:53 pm

        Same here. I thought the stalker story was bad; then I read some of her other entries out of morbid curiosity. Aw how sweet, she misses the homeless in America:

        (5) homeless people (ok, so I wasn’t “missing” them per se, I mean, I’d be happy if they were all home-ful and were no longer available to miss; however, it did give me that momentary warm heart, we’re-all-in-this-together feeling to drop a dollar into a cup and issue my standard greeting: “Take it easy, buddy.”)

  13. d. b. cooper permalink
    September 29, 2009 7:45 am

    First of all, she looks like a camel.

    I wanted to quote all the insane, objectionable things in that oozing bag of crazy you called a blog post, but if I did I think I’d break the comments. A truly terrifying read. She sounds like a sociopath. Like clinically diagnosable with Antisocial Personality Disorder. She probably should be locked up. She shouldn’t be raising children. Or allowed around children. Or allowed around people.

    Even though I don’t think Lambert is much of an artist, I do worry for his safety. His fanbase is chock full of people (mostly women, it would seem) like this. The unhinged tone of this post makes me think that it isn’t a very far leap from “I must have a picture with Adam Lambert and I will stop at nothing” to “I must kidnap Adam Lambert and make him my sex slave and I will not be denied” or “I must shoot Adam Lambert from a distance with a sniper rifle and he’ll be sorry he rejected me.”

    • d. b. cooper permalink
      September 29, 2009 7:49 am

      And she clearly doesn’t care about the music.

  14. blacklisted permalink
    September 29, 2009 3:45 am

    In her blog: “At some point I regained consciousness long enough to bat my eyelashes at the blatantly flirtatious Matt and even slip him my cellphone number after he suggested he might be able to get me into the meet and greet after the show.”

    WAIT a minute! Is this the middle aged nutjob, who the story goes, tried to pass her phone number to Matt Giraud at a M & G? Whoever posted that encounter said that Matt looked sickened and left the slip of paper on the table. lol, I bet it was this crazy.

    • TopIdol permalink
      September 29, 2009 11:40 am

      In her defense…the one thing…she is only 35. (Hey, I’m 32, so…I gotta call that one out).

      But yeah, doesn’t matter. Her self-entitled, self-important behavior seems to be the norm. Like with lying to La Princesa’s mother and using Quatto Host to get to Lambert.

  15. wickedlydark permalink
    September 29, 2009 1:45 am

    That chick amazes me.

    Having just turned the same age (yikes!) reading that blog is like imagining me doing the same – lying and deceiving staff, harrassing another contestant’s mother, arguing and fighting and crying and being dragged out by security?

    a 13-year-old would be called a brat if they did that shit. How the fuck is it appropriate for this bitch to act that way? Does she really think it’s endearing?

    I hope the friend who lied on her behalf about the press access sees that blog and fucks her up. It’s good that her other associates – who she tried to use and manipulate to get her way – recognized it and pulled away from taking part.

    I hope her husband realizes what an insane, probably dangerous, freak she is and kicks her ass out. He should screencap that blog to ensure he gets custody.

  16. yuppie permalink
    September 28, 2009 10:15 pm

    My favorite part of her blog post is how she was physically removed from the meet & greet TWICE by security, and then proceeded to head to the barricades to try to meet Adam. And when she talks about hearing that Adam did not come to the barricades because there was word that he had a stalker there, she is so confident that she was not said stalker.

    I mean, she certainly seems harmless to me. But, if you are security, and you realize that someone has lied to get a press pass, then lied to get into the meet & greet, then returns to the meet & greet after having been physically removed from same, would you not worry that the woman was a stalker?

    I also noticed that she alludes to having engaged in behavior like this before with other celebrities. So, hopefully for Adam, she’ll move on to obsessing over someone else within a few months.

  17. September 28, 2009 9:19 pm

    I cannot get past the Daddy thing.

    • September 29, 2009 8:40 am

      UMM I think that Daddy is usually the name one gets after having children and I find it odd that anyone would think it strange. I have two boys and in my house we refer to each other as Mommy and Daddy even when speaking about one another.

      so…also its a bit more entertaining and interesting than hearing “My Husband” and since the mushy terms like Honey or Darling or Love, might not fit her personality, Daddy (of whom he is to three children) seems to be a fitting.

      • September 29, 2009 8:42 am

        My post was so quick that it didn’t make sense grammatically, sorry, hope you got the gist of it. Here is clarification:

        I meant My husband and I have two boys and I refer to my Husband as Daddy and he refers to me as Mommy and it has become such a habit that it is now our typical name for each other…

        • blacklisted permalink
          September 29, 2009 6:00 pm

          “I meant My husband and I have two boys and I refer to my Husband as Daddy and he refers to me as Mommy and it has become such a habit that it is now our typical name for each other…”

          Your household sounds like a Tennessee Williams play, Big Momma.

      • September 29, 2009 6:53 pm

        Have you read her sicko blog? She’s not referring to him in context to him being the father of her kids.

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