The Worst Beefcake Calendar in the History of Time
September 28, 2009
Greasy Constantine Maroulis, of AI and VD fame, is currently appearing in Broadway’s Rock of Ages.
The men of Rock of Ages made a beefcake calendar for 2010 where they’re all kind of naked. Somehow, I don’t think this shit is going to be out-selling the annual FDNY calendar, do you?
This monstrosity will burn your eyes…yet it is also screaming for a good Photoshop — and a massive cocktail of penicilin and Valtrex.
I apologize for making you see that, however, I saw it and wanted other people to feel MY pain.
But I feel bad for doing it. So look at this again and wash it all away.
All better, right?
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Why do you all hate yourselves so much that you’ve resigned to live your lives trash talking about a person you don’t like? Five years of this crap…really? No, I haven’t been reading your shitty site for that long. I visited once last week and now I am seeing this. That’s really sad. You are grown-ups now, you should act like it. How can you continue pursuing a life of disgust? You are making yourselves sick. Try happiness for once and not at the expense of another human being. FYI happiness doesn’t come from a picture happiness comes from within.
Lol, Tops u are just too funny for words fyi Mark is a huge con fan. I swear I think hes gay because I have followed his past comments about this douche. 5 yrs ago I wouldve been drooling at this but he looks like a dirty old man and he is hairy ewe!!! Omg teen hormones are stupid; for record da dirty bastard is also very gay lol tries to repell it by nailing teenage girls …he looks like a homeless dirty old man who was unfortunately beaten and stripped of his clothes lol!!!!
I just keep envisioning a Beefsteak calendar, with pictures of steak for every month. Still more attractive than Constantine, and I’m a vegetarian.
Beefsteak tomatoes every month. Plus…I love meat but I also love tomatoes. And that’s all I keep picturing now.
WHY??? WHY???
Oh, my God, get a clue! Are you really all that dense?
The calendar is a spoof on beefsteak calendars, featuring the cast characters from “Rock of Ages”, the hottest musical on Broadway. This is not about the actors, it’s about the ROLES they play in the show. It was created for charity purposes. All proceeds are going to a wonderful cause, Broadway Cares, to support HIV/AIDS funding.
Now look ashamed.
It may be a spoof but that doesn’t change the fact Constantine Maroulis is disgusting. The whole show is a spoof—Why wouldn’t the calendar be a joke, too?
I wonder which Confrau ‘Mark’ is. Vicky? Cheryl Douche?
Forgive me for being nit-picky, but it’s not “beefSTEAK,” idiot. It’s beefCAKE. BEEFCAKE! [/Cartman]
LMAO!! Based on that mistake, I’ll double-down on Judyes as the frau masquerading as “Mark.”
Shouldn’t she be singing to a parrot somewhere?
She’s eating a BLT (with Beefsteak tomatoes) at that diner where all the waitresses just LOVE CONSTANTINE!!!
mmmmm, a beef steak does sound good right now mark. thanks for ruining my diet! jerk 😉
I like to picture Jon in a Cardinals’ uniform.
Preferably the “Kyle Farnsworth” fit:
Oh…my eyes.
(Second one is a nice antidote, though.)
Saw your tweet, and no you didn’t do anything wrong. Now, if you could just edit the above and replace the picture with an avatar saying “insert greasy douchebag’s picture here.” NO not the second picture! Mmmmm no, that one’s fine where it is. Suddenly I’m in the mood for a ham sandwich…
Check out the others. It was a beautiful Saturday 😉
https://topidol.wordpress.com/2009/09/26/jon-hamm-and-ben-affleck-are-hanging-out-in-my-hood/
OK, OK, I’ll save the strip, as long as he puts his clothes back on! A paper bag over the head would be great too!
Ewwwwww. Well, the plus side is that I no longer have any appetite for the egg mcmuffin that I should not have purchased to begin with.
Hot.
OH MY EYEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!
Even John Hamm can’t undo the damage because my kneejerk reaction to that image above him was to stab my eyes with a fork. Multiple times.
PS note the subtle visual lure to the frauen; fake animal print. That will get them waddling in.
I find it very amusing that he’s holding a sign that is so big. And yet he’s hiding something so insignificantly small.
Gherkin sized, really.