Kris Allen’s Album Cover? I hope so.
More speculation about Kris Allen’s album cover — this is the image being used on Barnes & Noble’s website:
He’s too young for me. And married. And probably too short for me. Plus, I don’t tard over anyone or anything…except maybe Battlestar Galactica (the new one…but then they nearly blew this for me with the finale…which sucked) or Mad Men, or competitive swimming. But that’s not tarding. It’s more appreciating. And if I was gonna tard over any famous male, it would be Ewan MacGregor, George Clooney, Jon Hamm, Eric Bana or Joshua Jackson. Sometimes I tard over goat cheese. And Croatia. And Burning Man. And I really love my cat. Nah…none of it is tarding — even over Quatto the Mole or Ade’s Pick!
I digress. My whole point was that I’m not an idiot fantard. I’m not even an idiot fangirl. But that Kris Allen is an attractive young man. If that is, indeed, his album cover, the photo is a very nice choice. Excellent lighting. He’s a very good-looking guy and I don’t care what any of you say, attractive males on Idol is virtually unheard of. Except for a few pieces of random jewelry the kid picked up, they didn’t even have to give him a makeover.
I know some people found Jason Castro adorable. No way. He was what happened when L. Ron Hubbard made John Travolta stick his thetan in a Fraggle. (Poor, poor little Fraggle) David Cook showed up in a sweater vest with Flock of Seagulls hair. Constantine Maroulis and Blake Lewis cause one to wince and turn away for fear of getting their vicious strains of unidentifiable, incurable VD. It’s like how you’re not supposed to look at a solar eclipse. You look at them on TV from the presumed safety of your living room and boom! You get weird sores and your privvies have rotted away even before you hit the pause on your Tivo to go grab more Captain Morgan & Diet Pepsi. They should have just made Ace Young do all his performances sans shirt. He would have won the damn thing based on the abs alone. Plus, most normal people would rather see a half-naked Ace Young over listening to most of these yahoos sing.
Anyway, Kris Allen is one of the best-looking male contestants they’ve ever had on that shit show. And that statement doesn’t make me a fangirl. Or a Kris Tard. It’s just kind of…true.