Deep Thoughts of Idol Fans — Volume 1
Since we’re mourning the loss of Idletard (I even slept in my Tard Strong bracelet) on this dreary as all hell Sunday afternoon, this is my attempt at cheering everyone up.
So let’s check out the Deep Thoughts of Idol Fantards. We’ll start with the Glamberts, of course.
I wonder what Adam Lambert and Johnny Depp would look like combined. All I know it will be the sexiest person in the world
Uh…how do you propose we do this? It sounds rather painful. Why don’t you just splice their DNA together and make one for later, mmm-kay?
i would love to learn french and Adam lambert to learn to speak it so we can have a conversation in french
Is this because French is referred to as the language of love? Oh, wait. She clarifies this comment a few minutes later.
I also want to learn to speak italian, german and greek
What the frak are you waiting for? Get off Twitter and go buy yourself some Rosetta Stone. NOW.
I also want to go cage diving with great white sharks, bungee jumping and climbing mount everest. all with ADAM LAMBERT and JOHNNY DEPP!!!
Why the hell does Langston Hughes’ Dream Deferred always pop into my head when I read this shit? Maybe because there are just some dreams you should defer, because they ain’t ever gonna happen. And you spend way too much time thinking about something that will never happen. Oh, and how the hell are you going to have time to do all with all of your French, Italian, Greek and German studies?
Someone named Glammy4Real encourages their Twitter friend.
@lambertlover82 OMG!! Adam speaking french would be epic….! *THUD*
Make it stop. Please. Just make it stop.
This reminds me of an old college friend’s Facebook Status messages, except it’s less self-involved — yet still all sorts of WRONG. And why is this girl angry?
So mad! I met a girl who went to school with adam lambert at the twilight convention today! Crazy!
Sigh…NEXT! Let’s hear from some Danny Gokey fans!
He looks so perfect, if he stood still behind a shopping window, people would think he was a mannequin
Hmmm…if he were a mannequin, we wouldn’t have to hear him sing.
I can’t believe I’m doing this, but I’ll say something kind of nice about the Glamberts. They may often be batshit crazy, but at least the majority of them aren’t crazy Jesus lovers like oh-so many of the Gokey fans.
@dannygokey On this Lord’s Day, may I tell u how comforted I am 2 know u will never do a photo spread like the 1 Adam did in Details mag? =0
I just imagined the Details spread with Danny Gokey. And it was painful. But you know who also has something to say…
@gokeysupporter I mean, he’s got her breast in his mouth! What kind of image does that give for a family show like AI?
While on tour this past summer, the man rode the mic stand like a Greyhound bus. What’s the difference? Plus, Idol is making lots of money from Lambert being “out there” and “original”. They’re trying to up their street cred. It won’t work, but they’re trying.
@ShirlSitler I wanna be danny’s little sister
Ok. Weird. But it’s super wrong when later on in the day you tweet this:
@Gaga4Gokey I wouldnt mind seeing Danny doing nude photos like that girl though. of course he never would but imagine if he did! *faints*
Shall we stick this one in the Attic and call her a Flower? And for chrissake, don’t make me think of Danny Gokey nude. I’m already queasy and hungover. That’s just downright cruel.