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Adam Lambert: For Your Entertainment (aka the dumbest album title EVER)

October 19, 2009

Adam Lambert and yet another frauen bra

Are you kidding me?

Adam Lambert’s debut album will be entitled For Your Entertainment…also the name of a failed record store (Thank you, Maura, for pointing that one out!). It’s also not very contemporary. It’s kind of…Vegas-y.

Please. Before you start furiously typing ADAM LAMBERT IS THE ULTIMATE ROCK SEX GOD, let me explain.

Every year, when I was a child, my parents would see Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme when they played the Fox Theater. I was always fascinated by the programs they would bring back. It became almost a regular routine, as I would be curious to see how many more sequins Eydie was wearing, or if her hairstyle changed from the last time they toured. I peered with great curiosity into the pages of these programs several times a year, whenever some whim struck and I felt like pulling them from the bookshelf. One year, Steve made a pilgrimage to the Wailing Wall. Eydie wore a lot of sequins, sometimes she wore her hair back, sometimes it was big and full–much like the incomparable Joan Collins’ coif, whereas Steve’s was always perfectly feathered.

Upon hearing Lambert’s album title, I was immediately transported back to my childhood, when I would sit on the floor going through 5 or 6 Steve & Eydie concert programs, as well as one Liberace program which showcased his GLAMOROUS house in Vegas. I would always ask my mom why Liberace wore such crazy capes and had such elaborate candelabras. She told me some men were like that, but he had married a woman once.

(Jesus christ. And I wonder why people sometimes assume I am a gay male from my blog. If I would have been born a boy, my childhood would have likely been all Hedwig and the Muzak Inch.)

I have not thought about Steve & Eydie in years. YEARS. Thank you, Adam Lambert. Thank you for taking me back almost 30 years to my early childhood!

If Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme don’t entertain you, then no one can entertain you!
— Larry King

Uh oh. See, I don’t think I’ve ever even heard a Steve & Eydie album. I just obsessed over the concert programs. I should go download some Steve & Eydie tunes straight away. I think I will have to compare and contrast with Adam Lambert’s debut album. I suppose I just expected something a bit more…um…edgier?

Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme

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89 Comments leave one →
  1. Steven permalink
    November 21, 2009 4:54 am

    Ok so wut did this story of Stev & Eydie have to do with Adam’s CD title?!?! I think its a wondeful title b/c that’s what he said he wants to do is entertain people… & also no one would ever think a “failed” store b/c there are still plenty of those ’round LOL!! A CD title does not make the CD good or not b/c i have listened to it online & it is AMAZING!!!! The title aint got nuthin to do with the CD other than it just being the title..

  2. Kat permalink
    November 6, 2009 3:09 am

    As much as I am an Adam fan to the core, I am not impressed with this song at all. Way too “pop goes the weasle” for me. I hope the other songs are better and that this is not the one “they” are pushing cause it really kinda sucks. I could never listen to an entire cd that sounded like this if it was Adam or not. I like the title song for the 2012 soundtrack. That’s the Adam I want to hear.

  3. URSTINK permalink
    October 30, 2009 7:43 pm

    I LOVE THE TITLE
    I LOVE HIS NEW SONG
    I LOVE HIS ALBUM COVER
    I LOVE HIS MUSIC
    I LOVE HIM

    But i hate you.

    • TopIdol permalink
      October 30, 2009 7:44 pm

      You hate me because I don’t think he shits rainbows?

  4. cimi permalink
    October 21, 2009 2:29 am

    I didn’t read all the posts so, If this has already been said–my apologies. I don’t like “for your entertainment”. I think it sucks. I would have rather it be named something like…. Planet fierce or…on the edge…..or……Chameleon.. Or…..Schock-stop….or…..meow…..or…….introducing……or………wuf…….or………..Lebry…….or………cheeks……..or………glitter……or…….what’s up……or………dance with me…….or………..schocktart……or………..sex-onfire-or………..me…..or…….uncovered……or……….glampire…..or……glambert……or…….lambskank…..or………pierced….or……rrising……or……..up-and-coming……or……..enjoy……or……..swatstickas……or……………love……..or……….sweet dreams…..or………..undestrubed…..or………unscathed…..or……uninhibited…..or……….I could go on.

    • TopIdol permalink
      October 21, 2009 2:30 am

      Pierced Rising

      YESSSSSS

    • cimi permalink
      October 21, 2009 2:32 am

      Let the backlash begin 🙂

  5. Lint_Licker permalink
    October 20, 2009 9:19 pm

    How about “Dildos and Blubber”?

    • Smartie permalink
      October 20, 2009 10:04 pm

      “Sparkly Dildos”

      with complimentary sachet of whale blubber for lubrication.

  6. sosad permalink
    October 20, 2009 8:42 pm

    I was truly hoping for “All Bow Down To The Dark Lord Screamanova” or some such.
    But no.
    We get a 1950’s Mitch Miller redux.
    How disappointing.
    And lame.

    • Sherena permalink
      October 20, 2009 9:00 pm

      LOL

      Strangely enough, I actually like that nickname. I almost would prefer that as a title.

    • 8sweetcandy permalink
      October 20, 2009 11:28 pm

      Lord of Screamanova, also a better title.

  7. 8sweetcandy permalink
    October 20, 2009 8:31 pm

    You know how bad that title is—we are now talking about Sanjaya, a Baldwin brother and something called Spendi. That’s how bad the title is.

    Thanks for letting vent I have had that pent up all day and needed to get it out.

  8. tinawina permalink
    October 20, 2009 12:59 pm

    Adam’s album title = eh.
    La Princessa’a album title = ’tis cool, has potential. Watch the song its based on be snide as hell. Heh.

  9. girl from mars permalink
    October 20, 2009 12:57 pm

    For Your Entertainment reminds me of the music store primarily, but it also made me think of my old college celebrity crush: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtTb2DZwR4c …Adam wishes he could do that.

    Allison’s album unfortunately shares the name with a song my ex wrote about me and self-released. (It got panned in the online indie press, so nyah nyah. The chorus was about how he’s now going to be “pretentious, just like” me, and he even made cafepress t-shirts.) Now I’ll associate it with La Princesa and be happy!

  10. auntieaimee permalink
    October 20, 2009 11:23 am

    It reminds me of the song, “The Entertainer”.

    Not what he was going for, I imagine.

  11. sara permalink
    October 20, 2009 11:05 am

    Maybe Adam should’ve named his album “the real winner” LOL…

    I’m neither in love with or turned off by the album title. I thought it was appropriate considering how often he’s said his goal is to entertain us.

    Sonic Lobotomy would’ve been funny but not exactly viable on your first album IMO. I’m anxious to see his cover art and how that will tie into the title.

  12. Mithra permalink
    October 20, 2009 5:09 am

    UGH…Why are posts showing up in weird places? It’s really confusing trying to keep up. Is it some sort of bug? Wandering Quatto is not amused 😦

  13. Mithra permalink
    October 20, 2009 5:05 am

    Sanjaya needs to run out of money soon so he has to do another show. I know he’s getting a lot of help with that 😉

    “Or he could have just self-titled it like Kris”

    He should have titled it “Kris” – THAT would have been funny 😀

    The title reminds me of “That’s Entertainment”

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/That's_Entertainment!

    I have a feeling his CD is not going to be nearly as entertaining. Steve Lawrence was a cop in The Blues Brothers? I didn’t know that. I should rent that again. Great film. One of the first albums I owned as a wee small child was The Blues Brother’s soundtrack.

    • lauren722 permalink
      October 20, 2009 8:25 pm

      OMG yes! Kris would be the perfect title. It could be a theme album! The theme being Adam’s unconditional and irrevocable love for Kris 🙂

  14. Verbally Dyslexic permalink
    October 20, 2009 12:11 am

    It’s a no-brainer title, I think. But of course the BSCs will start reading into it like there’s a cryptic message for them saying he’s acting gay just for the lulz and that he really wants to get into their pants or something like that.

    • 8sweetcandy permalink
      October 20, 2009 11:36 pm

      But only if you play it backwards.

  15. doctorlulzington permalink
    October 19, 2009 11:29 pm

    Thank you. I love the comparison to Steve and Eydie. He is about as rawk at this point.

  16. deez permalink
    October 19, 2009 10:58 pm

    Steve & Eyde. Reminds me of watching “The Carol Burnett Show” reruns with my mom.

    Nope. Not exactly edgy.

  17. rehabilitard permalink
    October 19, 2009 10:50 pm

    Oh, no! I don’t like this title. For me it assotiates with boring CDs from clearance bin. I hope it doesn’t disappoint me like Cooks CD last year.

  18. Lakshmi permalink
    October 19, 2009 10:49 pm

    Oh, and Michael Slezak confirmed with 19 that Allison’s album is going to be called Just Like You: http://news-briefs.ew.com/2009/10/19/allison-iraheta-adam-lambert-album-titles/

    Alli clearly got the better deal here.

    • TopIdol permalink
      October 19, 2009 10:52 pm

      I saw that and I really like the title. It’s simple. It’s age appropriate and cute, yet not juvenile or cloying.

    • blacklisted permalink
      October 19, 2009 11:08 pm

      Allison’s album title is a great choice.

  19. not quite a cooktard permalink
    October 19, 2009 10:36 pm

    The title to me sounds like he was trying to name it something that had the same feel as Use Your Illusion but it just kind of failed.

    For Your Entertainment just sounds odd to me, but then again, I don’t think album titles matter all that much anyway.

  20. kimberly permalink
    October 19, 2009 10:08 pm

    Steve and Eydie are a cheesefest. I swore they were on The Nanny — Eydie, the aunt, Steve, the father. My mom loved that show. It’s a little racier and funnier than I remember. Sometimes I need lighter fare to numb my mind at 2:00 am.

    My mind immediately went to “Let Me Entertain You” as well. I often don’t remember album titles, but some are just too good to forget. These are some of my favorites: Dark Side of the Moon, Thick as A Brick, Rubber Soul, Quadrophenia, Revolver, Joshua Tree, Houses of the Holy, After the Goldrush, Aqualung, War … For Your Entertainment, not so good.

    I, too, like Adam Lambert, but his fans make me crazy. They actually count comment totals on blogs, steadfast in the belief that it is an indisputable indicator of Adam Lambert’s dominance over the world. I believe I might one day enjoy Adam Lambert’s music when I’m free of the crazies. I’m still not quite sure what it’s going to be.

    I swore Sonic Lobotomy was a song title from Adam’s CD. Someone said another was named Motherfucker. Now that would have been a memorable title. lol

    • Sherena permalink
      October 19, 2009 10:17 pm

      No, “Motherfucker” and for that matter “Voice Lube” are not song titles, just someone taking quotes from Adam’s interview. Unfortunately.

      • lauren722 permalink
        October 19, 2009 10:20 pm

        aw…i was looking forward to that song…lol

        • veritas permalink
          October 22, 2009 3:06 pm

          I was hoping for “Sonic Lobotomy.”

    • TopIdol permalink
      October 19, 2009 10:20 pm

      Steve and Eydie’s surviving son composed the High School Musical soundtrack.

      I feel the need to smack Steve now.

      • freedavidcook permalink
        October 19, 2009 10:39 pm

        Did not know that. But Steve was pretty badass in the Blues Brothers movies as agent Morry Sline.

      • 8sweetcandy permalink
        October 20, 2009 8:27 pm

        A family legacy of mediocrity.

    • veritas permalink
      October 19, 2009 10:48 pm

      I have a dim recollection of a tweet from Adam that used the phrase “sonic lobotomy” after he’d worked with some producer. I thought it was a song title too, but maybe it described how he felt after the recording session.

      Kimberly, I share your feelings about Adam and his Glamtards. I find Adam “entertaining,” for lack of a better word, but I don’t think he’s a god-like figure who will revolutionize music, nor do I obsess about his Glambulge. His acolytes are very very scary.

      • blacklisted permalink
        October 19, 2009 11:04 pm

        I would use the word ‘lobotomy’ too if I were working with Ryan Tedder.

  21. blacklisted permalink
    October 19, 2009 9:55 pm

    It makes me think, ‘Fer ya’ entertainment’ catcha, meaning very Catskills Resort circa 1978.

  22. Mysterioso permalink
    October 19, 2009 9:49 pm

    HOMOPHOBE HATER!!!!111

    Crap, I just found out someone I really like plays guitar on a track on Adam’s album. So there may be at least one song that I won’t make fun of. At least the music part, anyway. :p

  23. Smartie permalink
    October 19, 2009 9:30 pm

    Ethel Merman was more edgy and entertaining.

  24. Sherena permalink
    October 19, 2009 9:23 pm

    Huh…idk how I feel I about this. First thought: not happy. I wanted something edgier too.

    • TopIdol permalink
      October 19, 2009 9:28 pm

      Shhhh…I encourage free thought in these parts, but don’t say anything negative about it on the fan boards. They might say you’re not a true fan 😉

      But come on! Don’t pose naked with some Dutch model with girl parts and then name your album something Wayne Newton is considering for his next stint in Reno.

      • Sherena permalink
        October 19, 2009 9:32 pm

        I am tres sad ok. This is the first major thing Adam has done career wise that’s disappointed me. And I actually LIKED the Details pics… Oh well. Hopefully it’ll grow on me.

        • lauren722 permalink
          October 19, 2009 9:34 pm

          IF YOU WERE A TRUE FAN YOU WOULDN’T NEED IT GROW ON YOU!!!!! YOU MUST BE A KRIS FAN IN DISGUISE!!!!! GO AWAY KRIS FAN!!!!! GO AWAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

          lol

        • TopIdol permalink
          October 19, 2009 9:36 pm

          I didn’t think the photos were bad whatsoever. The album title on the other hand…

        • Sherena permalink
          October 19, 2009 9:36 pm

          NOPE… I AM ACTUALLY A GOKEY FAN. A GOKEY SCOUT TO BE SPECIFIC…

          I FOOLED YOU ALLLLL!!!

        • lauren722 permalink
          October 19, 2009 9:43 pm

          GO AWAY YOU HOMOPHOBE AND ANTI-SEMITE!!!!!!!!!!!! US GLAMBERTS ARE NEVER FOOLED FOR WE SEE THE TRUTH, HAVING JESUS/GOD ON OUR SIDE!!!!!!

        • Sherena permalink
          October 19, 2009 9:50 pm

          WRONG. GOD IS NEVER ON THE SIDE OF THE GHEYS. THE GHEYS ARE NOT GODLY OK????

        • lauren722 permalink
          October 19, 2009 9:53 pm

          SILLY GOKEYTARD!!!!! ADAM IS GOD!!!! THE GOD YOU BELIEVE IN FALSE I TELL YOU!!!!! FALSE!!! ADAM IS THE ONLY GOD!!!!!! “ADAM IS A ROCK AND SEX GOD…ADAM IS A ROCK AND SEX GOD…ADAM IS A ROCK AND SEX GOD…”
          IF YOU DO NOT LOVE ADAM YOU CAN ONLY BE A DEVIL WORSHIPER…AND A HOMOPHOBE!!!!!

  25. on the edge permalink
    October 19, 2009 9:12 pm

    This is the first thing that popped into my head when I read his Tweet (yeah, I follow him, so sue me):

    “Let Me Entertain You,” from Gypsy

    • TopIdol permalink
      October 19, 2009 9:16 pm

      I follow him, too!

      Like I’ve always said, I actually LIKE Adam Lambert. I hope he does well. But that’s not a good album title and oh, he has many batshit crazy fans.

      • aieemaie permalink
        October 20, 2009 1:31 am

        BUMP!

        ME HEAP BIG BAT-SHIT CRAZY FAN!!! WHO’S WITH ME? BWAH HAH HAH ROFLMAO

    • lauren722 permalink
      October 19, 2009 9:19 pm

      I follow him too! Surprise!
      Haha I didn’t think of that but now I probably will every time I hear it again…

    • on the edge permalink
      October 19, 2009 9:27 pm

      Great, now I want to watch the whole thing. Hey, did Marni Nixon do the singing for Natalie Wood in “Gypsy,” too?

      Warning…I’ve been known to stray off-topic.

      • TopIdol permalink
        October 19, 2009 9:29 pm

        I have no problem with people going off topic. I am just happy people read me, let alone comment.

        I’ll take whatever I can get. I’m a blogging slutbag.

        • lauren722 permalink
          October 19, 2009 9:31 pm

          Haha Adam reference…

        • 8sweetcandy permalink
          October 20, 2009 8:25 pm

          Slutbag, also a better title!

    • veritas permalink
      October 19, 2009 10:44 pm

      “And if you’re real good,
      I’ll make you feel good…”

      Will he be doing a strip tease behind large feather fans?

      I get that Adam is an entertainer, and in fact I was entertained by him more often than not during AI8. Still a lame title, albeit better than “Glittery Alien from Planet Fierce.”

    • 8sweetcandy permalink
      October 20, 2009 8:20 pm

      LOL!!! Yes, if the cover is of him in a g-string doing a bump and grind, then perhaps if could work. But only if it’s tasteful.

      • 8sweetcandy permalink
        October 20, 2009 8:21 pm

        That was for On the Edge! I keep posting incorrectly, sorry.

  26. lauren722 permalink
    October 19, 2009 9:11 pm

    I actually think that his title works. He’s always been saying his goal is to entertain, not start a movement or make a political statement. It’s kinda reinforcing how he wants people to focus on the music and the entertainment value, not anything else. Well, that is at least how I saw it.

    • TopIdol permalink
      October 19, 2009 9:15 pm

      I guess I just assumed it would be a bit edgier. One word. More reflective of the “glammy” sound, perhaps?

      • lauren722 permalink
        October 19, 2009 9:18 pm

        Eh. I dunno. Album titles are hard. I feel like people would think he was trying to hard to be different if he used Sonic Lobotomy or whatever the previous rumor was. Or he could have just self-titled it like Kris…but overall I am happy with the choice. Anyway what matters most is the actual songs so this is kind of pointless.

        • TopIdol permalink
          October 19, 2009 9:20 pm

          Wasn’t Sonic Lobotomy the name of Blake “The Hobbit” Lewis’ album?

        • lauren722 permalink
          October 19, 2009 9:22 pm

          possibly…i just heard that from some random Glamberts talking about how they heard Adam was considering it as an album title. I know nothing about Blake Lewis’ music so they might have been confused. *sigh* poor lost Glamberts

          • TopIdol permalink
            October 19, 2009 9:26 pm

            I know nothing of Blake Lewis, either. Except he beat-boxed. And looks like a total tool. I did not watch that season. I was out of the country. It was beautiful to come home and know nothing of this nonsense. Plus, if you weren’t watching, the only person you heard of was Sanjaya.

            • lauren722 permalink
              October 19, 2009 9:33 pm

              Oh Sanjaya…such fond memories of him and his barely audible voice and faux-hawk

              • Sherena permalink
                October 19, 2009 9:34 pm

                Lol. The only Sanjaya performance I ever watched was Besame Mucho, and I liked it. Maybe I should watch some others…

                • Lakshmi permalink
                  October 19, 2009 10:42 pm

                  Sherena, to truly understand the Sanjaya phenomenon you really need to watch these two videos:

                  Sanjaya singing Bathwater by No Doubt (a.k.a. the “ponyhawk” performance):

                  Sanjaya singing You Really Got Me by the Kinks (a.k.a. the “Crying Girl” performance): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeYrD-MrQFc

                  • Sherena permalink
                    October 19, 2009 10:51 pm

                    OMG. He is the most ridiculous trainwreck I have ever seen. But he’s ADORABLE. The first one was more bearable vocally, I can say that for him… And the second one is the origin of Crying Girl? Wow, I don’t even know what to think now. To borrow Kara’s words, I’m confused but strangely happy.

                    • Lakshmi permalink
                      October 19, 2009 11:42 pm

                      There’s also a recent video of Sanjaya busking in a NYC subway stop. It also falls into the confusing/yet strangely happy category.

                    • TopIdol permalink
                      October 19, 2009 11:47 pm

                      I have to admit. I watched a few episodes of that I’m A Celebrity… crap. I now have a deep affection for both Sanjaya and Lou Diamond Phillips.

                    • Verbally Dyslexic permalink
                      October 20, 2009 12:07 am

                      They had a pretty sweet father-son relationship going on. Yes, I watched the show. Until they dumped a bucket of roaches on someone’s face. Ugh.

                    • TopIdol permalink
                      October 20, 2009 12:07 am

                      If it was the Baldwin brother, that’s totally okay. Or one of those Spendi people.

                    • Claire permalink
                      October 20, 2009 12:23 am

                      Spendi = Speidi?

                      I didn’t watch that show, but it’s totally okay to dump roaches on either one of Speidi.

                    • cimi permalink
                      October 21, 2009 2:33 am

                      Don’t be dissni’ Lou Diamond—love him!

                    • tinawina permalink
                      October 20, 2009 12:57 pm

                      You now understand the essence of the Sanjaya experience. Confused, but strangely happy. Welcome to the world of … Sanjaya!

                • veritas permalink
                  October 19, 2009 10:49 pm

                  That performance was the zenith of Sanjaya’s tenure on Idol, and it barely achieved mediocrity.

                  • veritas permalink
                    October 19, 2009 10:50 pm

                    I am referring to Besame Mucho. You Really Got Me rivaled unmedicated childbirth (which I have experienced) on the pain meter.

        • LeighKat permalink
          October 19, 2009 9:41 pm

          Nah, the Sonic Lobotomy thing was from a tweet he made after a recording session with… I believe it was with Ryan Tedder

      • 8sweetcandy permalink
        October 20, 2009 8:16 pm

        What is the opposite of squee? This is the worst title I could have ever imagined. It’s worse than calling it Glambert. What the f*ck was he thinking. Was he thinking? Does the “Machine” name the albums too. Each day brings a little bit more disappointment.

    • Nicole permalink
      October 19, 2009 11:18 pm

      I thought the same thing. Adam is an entertainer and he said in numerous interviews that his goal is to entertain people. Its not that serious. lol Besides, who cares what the name of an album is? I honestly can’t name any unless its a movie soundtrack.

      • lauren722 permalink
        October 19, 2009 11:23 pm

        Finally someone agrees with me! Yeah I really don’t care that much about album titles either.

    • veritas permalink
      October 22, 2009 1:21 pm

      Lyndsay Parker on Yahoo Music has a review up of three songs from AL’s album. The first track is called “Entertainment” and apparently it starts out with AL yelling “I’m here for your entertainment.”

      I get the whole Adam Is An Entertainer thing. He’s like a modern Vaudevillian, except it’s a little wailing, a little vamping, a little Glambulge instead of a little lighting singing and soft shoe. But seriously? “I’m here for your entertainment”?

      Parker loves the three songs, by the way. But she’s been an Adamtard since the beginning of AI8. We shall see. I’m rooting for the album to be good, but I get a little scared by LP’s description. “Glittery,” “alien” and “fierce” make an appearance.

      • TopIdol permalink
        October 22, 2009 1:40 pm

        Danny Gokey is also telling the world he is here for your entertainment…oh wait…

        http://www.sophiasheart.org/journal.php

        My music career will not only consist of entertainment, but will intertwine with my non-profit. It will be a movement of inspiration, filled with love that goes far beyond words and is driven by actions. This is how Sophia’s Heart is and always will be defined. I know that I cannot do this on my own and I will never try to. However, if I can possibly use the platform that I have been given, I can somehow raise awareness to the need that is in our world and help link hands with you and with others. We can’t sit back anymore in our comfortable little nests and pretend that problems don’t exist. Crime, poverty and hate are on the rise like never before. What are we to do? Mother Teresa said it like this “Love is a fruit in season at all times, and within reach of every hand”. She also said that we don’t have to do great extraordinary acts but just do small acts with great love. This is where Sophia’s Heart Foundation comes in. We want to do our part within our arena of influence, helping inspire people to make changes that make our world a better place. With your help we will see this come to pass. Please take a look at our website and see how we have begun with programs and services that we feel can influence the change that we talk about. We have a lot of exciting and new announcements that will be announced in the next couple of weeks, so please stay tuned. In ending this piece, I would like to echo the words of President Obama; “YES WE CAN”

        Oh well…At least he is an Obama supporter. (I’m trying to be nice!)

        • veritas permalink
          October 22, 2009 3:04 pm

          “It will be a movement of inspiration, filled with love that goes far beyond words and is driven by actions.” What arrogance. What delusion.

      • deez permalink
        October 22, 2009 2:58 pm

        L Parker has a review of some songs from Kris’s album, as well (sorry if already posted, didn’t see it):

        http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/realityrocks/279432/preview-alert-reality-rocks-kris-allen-listening-session/

        It looks as if she likes everyone these days, too bad she doesn’t have any Gokey to review.

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