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But what about the children??? Miley Cyrus celebrates bday with Constantine Maroulis

November 20, 2009

Party in the STD!

Miley Cyrus had an 80’s-themed 17th birthday party in NYC this week. She dressed up a Julia Roberts’ Vivian from Pretty Woman–which would be completely inappropriate in it’s own right, but then she had to go and make things even more disgusting by inviting walking VD himself, Mr. Greasy Constantine Maroulis.

Miley Cyrus dressed as Julia Roberts‘ “Pretty Woman” hooker character for an ’80s party to celebrate her 17th birthday Wednesday night. The teen star — recently criticized for pole dancing at the Teen Choice Awards — donned the sexy outfit and danced the night away at the Canal Room on West Broadway, where Constantine Maroulis and the cast of the Broadway hit “Rock of Ages” surprised Miley with a performance. Sources told Page Six: “Miley had seen the show two weeks ago and loved it, so her mom Tish brought the cast in to surprise her. But I’m not sure who was more into Constantine — Miley or her mother.” Between songs from the musical, Miley grabbed Constantine and danced with him at the front of the stage and then Tish joined in.

Ewwww. There’s really not much more to say, is there? Of course, the women in her family seem to have a thing for nasty-ass perv hair so this really isn’t a surprise, is it?

But let’s hope Miley took a bunch of amoxicilin and got sprayed down by a hazmat team as soon as the party ended. Because it’s no secret the hired entertainment has a little something now, is it? Let’s hope he didn’t do anything illegal, as it is already known the Tony-nominated former American Idol contestant has a thing for much-younger women. And Miley doesn’t turn 17 until Monday…and 18 until 2010.

 

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83 Comments leave one →
  1. November 22, 2009 11:01 am

    Oh Christ, that picture. I didn’t realize it until my second glance that he’s taking a piss.

    I think we’d all need the Eternal Sunshine treatment if that camera had slipped and snapped any higher….

    • TopIdol permalink
      November 22, 2009 11:50 am

      Yes, it’s rather amusing how you don’t realize someone is PISSING ON THE BOTTLE until the third or fourth glance.

      It says it all, doesn’t it?

  2. nothingtoseehere permalink
    November 22, 2009 9:29 am

    Someone with posting rights needs to go post the link to the buttsex story on D-Listed. It’s too good an opportunity to miss!

  3. beinghonest permalink
    November 22, 2009 2:42 am

    who doesnt love fabio? But topidol please dont knock people magazine yes they are very vague but they voted johnny depp sexiest man alive this year and in 03′ .Hell he is very sexy his eyes are freakin huge and warm how do u not love that? But they also named constantine sexiest 30 year old in America in 06′ so its pro n con nahmean? But i still feel they are somewhat legitimate.

  4. 8sourcandy permalink
    November 22, 2009 12:25 am

    saskin!!!!

    “Oh. Sorry. I mean you are freaking me out. Pretty soon weโ€™ll learn that you actually are a 32 year old ad exec. You are crossing the blurry line my friend.”

    You are crossing a line!!! I was commenting on Miley and you bring up Lambert just to goad me into some altercation. Don’t fucking tag my ass with your paranoid lame shit. I comment here, pretty much exclusively, because these blogs are fun and most of the others that post here have a sense of humor. I live a modest, hippy-esque life. I am a graphic designer. Not an Ad exec. I am not blond, I don’t have connections, and I make every attempt to keep my remarks witty and fun. When the occasion dictates I do evoke more passionate responses. My appreciation of Lambert is really none of your concern.

    So fuck off. DO NOT REPLY TO MY POSTS.

    • TopIdol permalink
      November 22, 2009 1:02 am

      Ok guys, chill out. No fighting. I think Saskin was kidding around. I like having both you guys here, and I don’t delete/block very often so let’s all just be nice and make fun of each other…which often can be done by using a smiley after your dig.

      CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?? ๐Ÿ™‚ I like you both.

      • lauren722 permalink
        November 22, 2009 9:10 am

        Haha I recall myself saying that in response to some Kris/Adam war. And a smiley really does make everything better.
        I HATE YOU ALLL!!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚
        See! Not quite as harsh anymore ๐Ÿ™‚

        • Mithra permalink
          November 22, 2009 12:59 pm

          Oh goody. Now I can say I want to have diarra on 8sourcandy’s avatar then light it on fire ๐Ÿ˜€

    • saskin permalink
      November 22, 2009 10:16 am

      You know what? I’ll bite.

      Here we go: Why on earth would you think anyone gives a damn about your opinions on Miley Cyrus when you are obsessing over the crotch area of a gay karaoke singer???? Seriously? You don’t know right? I know. Let me tell you: Because you are trying to emotionally connect to normal people. You are trying to humanize yourself. You are trying to normalize yourself. Why are you making up stories about disowning nieces? To make a point. Well it does not make a point. It is silly. 10 year olds have all the right in the world to act like 10 year olds. You, on the other hand, as an adult, non-blond, graphic designer; don’t.

      Please don’t bully me. I don’t respond well to bullying. Thank you.

      • lauren722 permalink
        November 22, 2009 10:20 am

        “CANโ€™T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?? ๐Ÿ™‚ I like you both.”
        Listen to TopIdol! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

        • saskin permalink
          November 22, 2009 10:42 am

          OK. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’ll respect fans’ right to bullshit. If they, in return, respect my right to point out their bullshit then we can co-exist peacefully.

          • lauren722 permalink
            November 22, 2009 10:51 am

            Yayyyyy!!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

          • 8sourcandy permalink
            November 22, 2009 2:11 pm

            For the record I am not bullshitting. Sorry if your past experiences have jaded you. But, sometimes people are exactly what they say they are. This is one of those times.

            http://www.xoopit.com/s/20zyy9p6ymvla6kj2qid

            Lt. Dan Cho is on the wall. I’m in the hat. Don’t know it this link will work. I failed posting a link previously. Let’s see. If not, I will send to TI.

            • TopIdol permalink
              November 22, 2009 2:18 pm

              I love that photo. When was this taken, Sour?

            • 8sourcandy permalink
              November 22, 2009 2:25 pm

              The march last month.

      • Verbally Dyslexic permalink
        November 22, 2009 10:37 am

        Saskin, sometimes it’s not a bad thing to step away from the computer every once in a while.

        And for good measure… ๐Ÿ™‚

        • haha permalink
          November 22, 2009 11:30 am

          FRAU WAR!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

          • saskin permalink
            November 22, 2009 12:25 pm

            FRAU WAR!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

            OK. ๐Ÿ™‚ I totally deserved that. Thank you for reminding me. I got emotionally involved because Erinnthered directed me to a masterpiece and I respect him/her for that. (I really don’t care otherwise)

            SORRY.

  5. beinghonest permalink
    November 21, 2009 7:30 pm

    wooo I can have a field day with this shyt where do i start? Miley is another disney bot and they creep me the hell out. I also hate that stupid redneck ass song.What da hell is wrog with this man dancing with a 17 yr old is not kosher at all and then h had effin mom too? wht da hell? His smarmy pedo ass will burn in hell did anyone see the pix where he was out with that brunette girl from glee? She is like 23 and he is like 34 sooooo grosss what the hell is wrong with these young women to where they cannot get pass the hair the tight leather pants the height and the do me face? To see that he will give them something they dont need. this is how u spell constantine v i n a ri al disease…lol I mean I understand miley’s hormones but her mom? dats messed up I wish billy ray wouldve smacked some color on his face for subliminallly having eye sex with his daughter cuz topidol u know he did it…

  6. lauren722 permalink
    November 21, 2009 4:43 pm

    Can I be a dancer??? Haha

    • 8sourcandy permalink
      November 22, 2009 12:29 am

      Of course!!!!!

  7. 8sourcandy permalink
    November 21, 2009 4:41 pm

    “Oh, and to think you were going to be the one โ€œglamtardโ€ who was going to get to hear my secret yet hilarious Burning Man story involving Adam Lambert. :)”

    Unless it involves a bottomless bike parade and you are the the creepy bystander with a camera, I don’t think it’s relevant to my interests.

    • TopIdol permalink
      November 21, 2009 5:17 pm

      I woke up to a bottomless bike parade one day (although every day is sort of a naked bike parade in a sense) and I couldn’t stop thinking how uncomfortable it would be to be go without pants on a bike, especially with a penis.

      • November 21, 2009 8:28 pm

        I know. That sounds painful. Testicles bouncing freely on a bicycle seat…on behalf of most men (aside from the small percentage who would get off on such a thing)…OUCH!

      • 8sourcandy permalink
        November 22, 2009 12:28 am

        So, where were we? Ah, penis-on-parade. That does sound festive.

      • 8sourcandy permalink
        November 22, 2009 5:48 pm

        Oh, I didn’t forget about this.

        โ€œOh, and to think you were going to be the one โ€œglamtardโ€ who was going to get to hear my secret yet hilarious Burning Man story involving Adam Lambert. ๐Ÿ™‚ โ€

        You’ve piqued my curiosity. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  8. 8sourcandy permalink
    November 21, 2009 4:39 pm

    TI can you delete the second one? I type like I speak, toooo fast.

  9. Sherena permalink
    November 21, 2009 2:58 am

    Oh Miley. Even you don’t have to sink that low.

  10. WooAmanda permalink
    November 20, 2009 11:40 pm

    This shit makes me think I’m a good mother. My greatest wish is that we get more and more because it affirms my parenting skills.

  11. Isidra permalink
    November 20, 2009 9:59 pm

    I wouldn’t wish Constantine even on Miley Cyrus. Egads.

    Where the hell is Billy Ray right now? What’s the point of having a stereotypically redneck dad if he can’t scare creeps away with a shotgun?

  12. not quite a cooktard permalink
    November 20, 2009 9:41 pm

    I feel like I need to take a shower just for reading that. D:

  13. freedavidcook permalink
    November 20, 2009 9:37 pm

    A Cornpone-Greaseball sammich!

    Nothing would be funnier than if an itch and a pregnancy erupts from that dirty dancing.

    I hate that damn song! It’s been stuck in my brain since late summer!

    • 8sourcandy permalink
      November 20, 2009 9:53 pm

      I have never heard it. I am aware it exists. I heard part of “The Climb” in ShopRite once. It prompted me to abandon my cart and leave. Everything wrong with the world today can be traced back to Miley Cyrus. She is the spawn of Satan.

      • Lakshmi permalink
        November 21, 2009 1:25 am

        How did you manage to escape hearing the Climb in its entirety? I’m jealous! It seemed like I couldn’t go anywhere this summer without hearing that song.

        • 8sourcandy permalink
          November 21, 2009 3:14 am

          My ears are hypersensitive and trained to reject her. Within minutes of processing her haggard, three-pack-a-day sounding voice, my brain is triggered into RUN mode. And I flea. I developed this strategy during the ’90s with Celine Dion. In retrospect, I would prefer hearing Celine Dion for the rest of my life than just one complete song from that skank. I have disowned nieces who failed to see my point on this mater.

          • saskin permalink
            November 21, 2009 10:29 am

            Of course you understand that now you are possibly being disowned by family for your insane obsession with all things Lambert. What goes around…

            • 8sourcandy permalink
              November 21, 2009 11:45 am

              My family and friends may not share my fascination for Lambert, but the are happy that he pleases me. Even my Boss has granted me a standing “day off” for any event of his that I can attend.

              I guess you would have to know me to get what this is all about.

              • TopIdol permalink
                November 21, 2009 2:48 pm

                And this is after your 8GB of Lambert photos had to be deleted from your computer because it was slowing the entire system down? ๐Ÿ˜‰

                • 8sourcandy permalink
                  November 21, 2009 3:28 pm

                  Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

                  Fabio!!!

                  Fabio is my new “go to” word to piss you off.

                  • TopIdol permalink
                    November 21, 2009 3:42 pm

                    Oh, and to think you were going to be the one “glamtard” who was going to get to hear my secret yet hilarious Burning Man story involving Adam Lambert. ๐Ÿ™‚

                    Fabio and Jon Hamm do not look alike. Just because they squint their eyes and look intently ahead does not mean they are twins. Plus, when Jon Hamm does it, you can tell there is something going on inside his head. When Fabio does it, you’re just waiting for the bird to come down and get his nose.

                    • lauren722 permalink
                      November 21, 2009 4:01 pm

                      I want to hear a Burning Man story about Adam! I think Burning Man would be a really cool thing to do, except I am even more high-maintenance than Adam and probably wouldn’t survive. I get headaches in warm weather :/ lol

                    • 8sourcandy permalink
                      November 21, 2009 4:09 pm

                      Oh, yea! Well then I’m not going to share my musical tour de force in which I reworded the song “Fergalicious” into “Tard-o-licious.” A lovely little empowerment anthem for fantards. Oh, and there is a dance too. Not unlike Bye-By-Bye.

                    • lauren722 permalink
                      November 21, 2009 4:16 pm

                      Haha after reading that I just ran around in my room sing Tard-o-licious while doing the classic bye-bye-bye dance. It didn’t work to well. Now my parents are just confused as they came in to see what in the world I was doing…

                    • 8sourcandy permalink
                      November 21, 2009 4:36 pm

                      Yes, the dance was re-worked but the gist it there. I am working on sets and costumes. This will epic.

                    • Verbally Dyslexic permalink
                      November 21, 2009 6:01 pm

                      The bird incident is the single most hilarious recollection I have of Fabio, and it will never not be funny. Oh wait, I have another one! A commercial for ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter’.

                      For you, TI (I bet Jon Hamm can’t score this gig)! ๐Ÿ™‚

                    • TopIdol permalink
                      November 21, 2009 7:02 pm

                      No comparison. If it feels like a slice of ham, don’t wipe your ass with it.

                    • haha permalink
                      November 21, 2009 7:48 pm

                      He looks great in jeans.

                    • erinnthered permalink
                      November 21, 2009 9:55 pm

                      He was such a great host! [small voice]I liked his episode more than NPH’s the next week.[/small voice]

                    • 8sourcandy permalink
                      November 22, 2009 12:33 am

                      You do know my weak spot!! If they make me laugh, I’m hooked.

                      I laughed. ๐Ÿ™‚

                    • 8sourcandy permalink
                      November 22, 2009 12:30 am

                      I love you Verbally Dyslexic!!!! This is toooo funny.

            • saskin permalink
              November 21, 2009 4:23 pm

              I meant in real life not in your fictional reality…

            • 8sourcandy permalink
              November 21, 2009 4:34 pm

              “I meant in real life not in your fictional reality” Not sure what that means.

            • saskin permalink
              November 21, 2009 8:04 pm

              Oh. Sorry. I mean you are freaking me out. Pretty soon we’ll learn that you actually are a 32 year old ad exec. You are crossing the blurry line my friend.

  14. November 20, 2009 8:46 pm

    Nasty ass. I hate Constantcrap just as much I hate Gokey and Lambert. All of them are sleazy.

  15. veritas permalink
    November 20, 2009 8:39 pm

    Is Miley Cyrus in training to become the new Lindsay Lohan?

    • 8sourcandy permalink
      November 20, 2009 10:23 pm

      Lindsey Lohan, in spite of her drug use and slutty behavior is at least talented. And attractive. Miley Cyrus is void of talent, looks, taste, style, humanity and intelligence. She is a overindulged, self absorbed FAME WHORING brat.

  16. deez permalink
    November 20, 2009 6:52 pm

    How old is Miley? 16? How old was the girl from the infamous story(the details of which I sometimes get confused with the tard porn from IdleTard)? Wasn’t she like 15 when he met her? (looks like another grooming period on the horizon). ewwwwww.

    • haha permalink
      November 20, 2009 7:33 pm

      Yeah, she was like 15 she started sending him fan mail. He did have the good sense to wait until she was 19 to buttfuck her, though.

  17. Burgundy LaRue permalink
    November 20, 2009 6:46 pm

    Put your hands up
    If you got a sore down there
    After getting it on with C-Stank

    It’s stinging your cooter like OW!
    It burns when you tinkle–OW!

    Put your hands up
    If you got it on with C-Grease
    And now he’s coming for your mom

    OW, OW, OW
    It’s a party at the health clinic
    OW, OW, OW
    It’s a party at the health clinic!

    • TopIdol permalink
      November 20, 2009 6:48 pm

      I love you, Burgundy LaRue. Love love love you.

      • 8sourcandy permalink
        November 20, 2009 9:17 pm

        Hello Top Idol, this is off topic but HAMM related. He IS in People Magazine as one of the sexiest men of the year. However, they put him on a page with the caption “separated at birth” alongside……….FABIO!

        • TopIdol permalink
          November 20, 2009 9:32 pm

          NOT COOL

          • 8sourcandy permalink
            November 20, 2009 9:56 pm

            I nearly peed myself laughing.

            • 8sourcandy permalink
              November 21, 2009 3:26 am

              Oh, there is more…

              They pinpoint the similarities. “Half smile,” “Quizzical look,” “Full smile” and my favorite “One sells fantasies the other sold ‘not butter.’ “

              • TopIdol permalink
                November 21, 2009 1:56 pm

                People Magazine is stupid. Just because they slap a couple of feel-good stories in with celebrity gossip items doesn’t make them legitimate. The writing is shit. The critics have zero taste. And they fact they operate a “celebrity baby blog” is reason enough to never buy their magazine or give them web traffic. And calling Hamm Fabio??? That’s just stupid.

                • auntieaimee permalink
                  November 21, 2009 2:46 pm

                  I’m appalled. Clearly, they’ve never watched Mad Men. His looks are only a part of his appeal. It’s everything. It’s the way he walks the way he talks, it’s the way he smokes. It’s the way he pours a drink. He’s a man. Not a boy, not a man-child, he’s a fucking MAN. People. Pfft.

            • 8sourcandy permalink
              November 21, 2009 3:36 am

              I don’t know how I can watch Mad Men now without seeing Fabio’s face on Hamm’s body. I have been saving a bunch of episodes to watch while I wait to gain entry at the GMA concert on Wednesday. I hoped it would make sitting among filth and rats in the cold, dark night more doable.

    • lauren722 permalink
      November 21, 2009 12:56 pm

      Pahahahaha!

  18. haha permalink
    November 20, 2009 6:10 pm

    Pretty Woman isn’t from the 80’s – it came out in 1990. I hate that stupid little horse-faced cunt.

    • TopIdol permalink
      November 20, 2009 6:37 pm

      I know. That did cross my mind ๐Ÿ™‚

    • November 21, 2009 8:26 pm

      Miley or Julia? (I actually like Julia Roberts now but was nauseated by her early pimpage, no pun intended)

    • Jezebel permalink
      November 22, 2009 9:22 am

      BANNED!

  19. 8sourcandy permalink
    November 20, 2009 5:46 pm

    It must be Christmas and/or Hanukkah. A Miley Cyrus blog!!!! My fingers are in a frenzy of excitement. Where shall I begin?

    What white-trash-low-down-no-talent-overprocessed-cheesey pole dancing Ho-reamark can I lead with? Too much pressure. Too little time.

    Please, please, please still be here later, I need to get a manicure now. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Mithra permalink
      November 20, 2009 9:05 pm

      I watched that stupid show on Disney a few times out of curiosity, and had the misfortune seeing her perform on some special I can’t remember with the Jonas Brothers. If this generation is growing up on that crap, we are doomed. Now get off my lawn!

      (Is it wrong to say she and Constantcrap deserve each other?)

      • lauren722 permalink
        November 21, 2009 12:56 pm

        Ughhhhhh what IS wrong with my generation? I can’t go a day without hearing “OMG! The Jonas Brothers are sooooo cute!” or “I love Miley! She’s my role model!” We are doomed.
        (Yes they do deserve each other. I hope she gets knocked up with his baby and an STD so that people will finally realize that she’s a slut!)

  20. November 20, 2009 5:40 pm

    Hmm so we have a hooker and a walking VD together in one room? You know how that will turn out. Watch out TMZ this is your next story. LOL

  21. Wino permalink
    November 20, 2009 5:15 pm

    hmmm, why dont’ we fix up Constantine with Holly Sockpuppets? puuurfect couple in my book

  22. November 20, 2009 5:04 pm

    Mrs. C has quite a track record for the men she’s into. Billy Ray Cyrus, Constantine Maroulis…who’s next? Roman Polanski? R. Kelly? RUN, MILEY, RUN! Run as fast as you can!

  23. November 20, 2009 5:01 pm

    I am officially disgusted. Why anyone would invite that greasy perv anywhere I don’t know.

    • Smartie permalink
      November 20, 2009 5:39 pm

      He would have been the paid entertainment, no one invites that walking STD to anything now.

      • Verbally Dyslexic permalink
        November 21, 2009 12:57 am

        They PAID him to infect people?!!

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