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SYTYCD Top 14: More Excessive Mollee Pimpage

November 23, 2009

Yes, I know this is super-super late. And I don’t even know who was kicked off this week!

Uh, hello? How awesome does Cat Deeley look? Anyone else wearing that dress would look like a baked potato in a casino buffet.

This week, we’re seeing baby photos/videos of the contestants…and the judges. Mary Murphy twirled a baton and Adam Shankman made muscle man poses during their youth.

Ashleigh Di Lello & Jakob Karr
Hip Hop–Tabitha & Napoleon Dumo
Whatcha Say–Jason Derulo

I like these two. And when Jakob was a kid, he was chunky. The photo they show is awesome–it looks like something from Tim & Eric’s Awesome Show.

The uber-popular hip hop remake of Imogen Heap’s song will always remind me of SNL’s Digital Short spoofing The OC. How can it not? This routine is about a cheating man. Jakob over-emotes, but it works. They do this kick ass flip move . I like it. Not so sure about the giant “text messages” looming in the background. NappyTabs are good people.

1980s British Hair thinks Jakob will make the Top 10 and that Ashleigh has grown at a much faster pace than he ever imagined. When Mary talks, I wonder if she has a hearing problem. Homegirl never uses the microphone. She just yells. Shankman tells Ashleigh he didn’t believe in her, but he has now seen the light.

(Didn’t they say Ellenore was next? Or did I imagine this?)

Karen Hauer & Kevin Hunte
Broadway–Spencer Liff
If My Friends Could See Me Now–Sweet Charity (2005 Broadway Revival Cast)

Karen & Kevin had a rough time of it in rehearsals, as Broadway dancing is more difficult than it looks. They’re dancing to the Kathie Lee Gifford for Carnival Cruises song. Hip Hop dancer Kevin impresses me with his ability to be super light on his feet. While I’m a fan of Karen and she maintains a fun and playful demeanor throughout the routine, she doesn’t do as much for me as Kevin does in this routine. Overall, I found the routine a bit underwhelming.

1980s British Hair may have been thinking the same thing. He didn’t enjoy cute & cuddly Karen–he prefers sexy & smoldering Karen. However, he thinks she brought more humor to the performance than Kevin. The other judges agree. And Kevin has really sparkly shoes.

Noelle Marsh & Russell Ferguson
Fox Trot–Eddie Simon
Baby (You’ve Got What It Takes)–Michael Buble

Is choreographer Eddie Simon wearing a rug or is this just a bad angle or a bad hair day?

I like Noelle and Russell, even though I think Noelle is BFF with Mollee Moron. This routine marks the first time they can actually fox trot on stage together, as Noelle’s injury forced Russell to dance with choreographer Melanie Lapatin when they originally drew the fox trot during the Top 20 week.

Michael Buble’s music does nothing for me. Russell and Noelle are almost too controlled, perhaps? But I don’t know much about the doc trot. I think they have “nice lines”, though, and I think they have an adorable chemistry together.

The judges all love it, mainly because Noelle is a cute and wholesome white girl and Russell is an affable black dude with dreads–a SYTYCD power couple! On a side note–Mary’s drink looks as its barely been touched and I don’t think it was refilled during the commercial break. Boo Mary Murphy! Drink faster!

(We’re almost halfway through with the show and still no Moron Mollee. Do her and Nathan always get to dance as in one of the final spots?)

Channing Cooke & Victor Smalley
Jazz–Tyce DiOrio
Blackbird–Bobby McFerin

I like Channing. Wow. I have a photo of my niece wearing a very similar cat costume when she was 4. Little kids dance recitals make me ill. And all the makeup! Yikes. It’s just not right. Tyce Diorio doesn’t seem to be particularly bitchy this week. I only like him when he’s not bitchy. Hmmm…he gets a little bitchy, but almost in a fun way. I bet he’s getting laid. He strikes me as someone whose mood depends on whether or not he is getting any.

Channing and Victor get to play around in a birdcage. They’re quite good, actually. I don’t understand why Channing isn’t the pimped out “bubbly blond” when she’s so much more likable and charming over the beloved Moron Mollee. And Victor is great, too. The song, meh, but the routine (and pecking) was good stuff.

1980s British Hair says Channing never looked like she enjoyed herself until now. Oh, come on. He also tries to bring Victor down by telling him he’s already awesome but needs to grow more. I am annoyed. I like these two. And they deserve to be on the show much, much, much more than Moron Mollee & Nathan AND Mary Murphy’s earrings. (OMG. Why is she not drinking? So not fun. She is so boring and scripted, so subdued, when sober.)

Kathryn McCormick & Legacy Perez
Paso Doble–Tony Meredith
Pursuit–Ka (Cirque du Soleil soundtrack)

It turns out Kathryn’s mother ran a dance studio, so Kathryn has been stuck on stage her entire life. Legacy was a rebellious child whose father bribed him to dance with him at family parties. During rehearsals for Meredith’s paso doble from hell, Legacy’s pants rip.

Legacy is dancing sans shirt. This should be good for a few votes, right? I think its fairly good, if a bit over dramatic. Legacy and Kathryn seem to be giving it their all, as apparent in their very intense facial expressions.

This is the best I’ve seen Kathryn dance and hell, Legacy doesn’t even lose his once the dancing stops. The judges are into it. And Mary is still not drinking her cocktail.

Some segment on Dizzy Feet…which I would think was cool if it didn’t involve Katie Holmes. I can’t support anything with a $cientologist’s name attached to it, sorry guys.

(Well, well, well. Down to the final two dances…and look what couple is GOING LAST?? You’ve got to be kidding me.)

Ellenore Scott & Ryan Di Lello
Contemporary–Travis Wall
Your Ex-Lover’s Dead–Stars

The son of ballroom dancers, Ryan was forced to spend his youth in bunny ears. This is by far the best music of the night. Cheesy background, yes, but great song. I like these two and do not want to see them go home. Both of them are powerful, the dancing is very strong–especially considering the number of lifts in the routine.

The judges like it. 1980s British Hair even says Ryan is the best ballroom dancer to ever do contemporary. Mary gushes over former contestant/choreographer Travis Wall. If crazy Mary was properly drunk, she would stick them on the HOT TAMALE TRAIN. Dumb bitch is saving that shit for Moron Mollee & New Moon Nathan. Wait…wait…she’s tearing up…do it, Mary, do it…put them on the train. Walking on tall cotton is not the same as the hot tamale train.

Mollee Gray & Nathan Trasoras
Hip Hop Jazz–Lorianne Gibson
Bad Romance–Lady Gaga

Moron Mollee says she was a complete diva when she was growing up. Jesus christ, I hate this dumb kid. Their routine is choreographed by the chick with the pink headphones. I totally remember her. She’s cool, but now that we’re end at the show I realize that it is yet another week without the awesome Sonya Tayeh.

I actually love Bad Romance. Not a Gaga fan, but I fraking love this song. So it totally disappoints me these idiots are dancing to it. Honestly, they’re just not that good. Mollee is way too young to convey anything but teenage emotion to anything, and the same is partially true for Nathan, although I prefer him to Moron Mollee. This whole routine is completely dull. There were no wow moments. It was like two children playing dressup.

1980s British Hair tells them they were soooo much better than last week. Perhaps, but that’s not saying much. I have no idea why 1980s British Hair is blowing smoke up her ass by complimenting her on her commitment and talent. Oh for frak’s sake. I have no understand why Nathan’s maturity is called out but Moron Mollee is praised. And then Crazy Mary calls them the dream team. This is absolutely ridiculous. I know I can’t be the only person who thinks these kids suck. At least Shankman gives them a bit of criticism…but not really…

Sigh…this is just stupid. Why am I still watching this crap?


See, SYTYCD producers & judges? America hates Mollee and Nathan! That’s why they landed in the BOTTOM 3. And yes, Mollee (dressed like a streetwalker) had a great solo, but sending home Channing [over Karen] on the basis of personality was stupid. Is showing personality acting like an idiot? Because Moron Mollee flits about like a 9-year-old, which I find neither charming nor “personable.” Alas. Sad to see Channing go. And then the judges sent Kevin home because the dreadlocked Russell will fill the black quotient for the Top 10.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Ryanne permalink
    January 18, 2010 8:32 pm


  2. d. b. cooper permalink
    November 25, 2009 1:32 am

    I’ll predict that Kevin “worst hip hop soloist in SYTYCD history” Hunte and Channing whatshername go home (full disclosure: I may have seen the results show).

    This is really the worst season they’ve ever had. Virtually the only thing that interests me every episode is Legacy and Kathryn (love ’em both). Everyone else (except for Ellenore) is just so boring and/or has an annoying face (I’m looking at you Ryan, Nathan, and Ashleigh, but I wish I wasn’t)*. Russell is a great big boring disappointment. I blame the inclusion of those three godawful tapping people, they could have put on three interesting people instead. And as for the judging, Shankman makes it three people saying the same crap every week. Plus he’s more desperate for love and annoying than the other two.


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