Adam Lambert is just too gay for Good Morning America
After Sunday evening’s memorable/disastrous performance (dude, he was OUT OF TUNE) at the American Music Awards, ABC’s Good Morning America told Adam Lambert he could no longer be part of their fall concert series. (You can also now catch the “real” For Your Entertainment video. It was released today.)
Do I disagree with the decision? Of course. Do I disagree with the 1500 offended people who wrote letters to Disney-owned network after Lambert’s crotch cabaret show? You betcha.
I didn’t like Lambert’s performance because he was “provocative”. I like provocative. But I don’t even blink when I see such things because it’s all been done before. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone to the live sex show in Amsterdam, or spent 14 hours on a Saturday night at Tunnel when I was 20. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone to that gay bar in Little Rock on the night of the Miss Gay Arkansas pageant. Maybe I shouldn’t have worked at the tattoo & piercing shop that also sold “tobacco paraphernalia” when I was in college. Maybe I shouldn’t have hung out all those nights at the gay bar behind my apartment. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone to Burning Man. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone to The Donkey Show. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t enlightened or shocked by Adam Lambert’s stage antics.
I didn’t like it because it sucked. Lambert sounded terrible and came off as desperate for attention. He was shocking for the sake of shock. It wasn’t art, hell, even for all the times I roll my eyes at Lady Gaga, there is a deliberate artfulness in all of her performances. Her shattering of the glass box in which her piano sit on the AMAs was graceful, particularly when compared to Lambert’s overzealous simulated fingering of a female dancer.
And for someone to claim they don’t want to be a poster boy for gay rights, then why cry discrimination? It was ABC, not MTV. Frankly, Lambert shouldn’t even pretend he didn’t want to shock people. This wasn’t him being himself or him expressing just how sexual he is, it was about shock. It was about the desire to be talked about. This is what Adam Lambert wanted.
In any case, Good Morning America should have kept Lambert on their show Wednesday. CBS’ The Early Show snapped him up, a very wise decision considering The Early Show doesn’t have the devoted following of GMA or NBC’s Today. Even non-Lambert fans may be curious to see who Adam humps for breakfast. Now ignorant asshats like Perez Hilton can whip their just-as-ignorant devotees into a tizzy about ABC being homophobic, and for as many stupid whiny letters ABC received from shocked and appalled viewers (Note from me: Get out of your house more or turn off your TV. Go read Sarah Palin’s book or something), the remaining batshit crazy Glamberts have probably fully developed carpal tunnel now after firing off countless missives to the network via email and Twitter.
(And seriously, Perez Hilton? Don’t align yourself with that loser if you want any sort of legitimacy. He hasn’t exactly endeared himself to the gay community, or anyone for that matter. I doubt Lady Gaga even lets that idiot take out her garbage or dust her vast collection of lace hoods anymore.)
While I suggested Lambert should be “more gay”, I didn’t mean fellatio simulation or shoving his tongue down his keyboardists’ throat. Perhaps he was trying to prove something to the gay community after his management was blasted by Out Editor Aaron Hicklin? Sadly, I doubt this is the case. Lambert shocked simply for the sake of being shocking. In this age of dubious celebrity, the longtime Los Angeles resident has learned self-promotion isn’t just about putting out a good product or gaining acclaim for one’s talent, but by being talked about for other exploits. He’s not about the music. Or art. Adam Lambert just wants to be famous.
But for all the tabloid covers featuring the likes of career babymakers with poor parenting skills and development deals with TLC; and every Kardashian, every Speidi or Spendi or coked-up former starlet, people can still tell a rhinestone from a diamond. Fame from reality television isn’t real fame. It’s just something which looks pretty when you walk by the display window, but you’ll forget what it was by the time you make it to the next block. And no matter how you cut it, American Idol is reality TV. And anyone who comes from reality TV faces a tougher battle in the quest to be taken seriously as an artist. Adam Lambert, I hate to break it to you, but you’re not Elvis. You’re not Madonna. A Rolling Stone cover does not a lasting cultural icon make. And taking into consideration where the majority of the public learned your name, it doesn’t seem as if you’re simply promoting your album, or yourself as an artist. It just seems as if you’re trying so hard to cling to the fame you experienced for all those months on a top-rated reality TV show. Just like every idiot with tabloid notoriety and a fashion line, you’re starting to reek of desperation. You’re also revealing that you really haven’t a clue as to who you are as a person or an artist.
This past summer, Lambert once tweeted a message to his fans stating entitlement was not sexy. Yes, Adam Lambert, you’re right. Entitlement is not sexy. So why do you feel entitled to compare yourself to the likes of legendary musicians when you stir up a little controversy on your first really big solo performance? Why do you feel entitled to play the gay card when it suits you and also pull the I-don’t-want-attention-for-being-gay defense out of your studded back pocket whenever it seems appropriate?
I like my gays glittery and I like them in Banana Republic. But I don’t like poseurs, gay or straight. And I would like to believe Adam Lambert is a talented muthafucker with something to say and not just another idiot who simply tries to dress the part. Sadly, most of what I’ve seen so far suggests all show and no substance.