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SYTYCD Top 10: Should I go on a Captain & Diet strike until Mollee Gray gets the boot?

December 3, 2009

Yes, I’m totally watching this late–even though I already heard they taped today’s show and spoilers have been released. I can’t even remember who was booted last week. My girl Channing, right? Wait. That was the week before. Last week was Karen, who I hope is better off since departing, although now that I remember her, I do miss her exquisite bitch face. I must admit, I am finding it difficult to even care about this show. I won’t until they get rid of Mollee Moron Gray, who continues to generate mass hatred with her idiotic facial expressions and fraking half shirts and painted on, acid-washed jeans.

But since the judges no longer have control (well…), I’m counting on the people that vote for this crap

Noelle Marsh and Ryan Di Lello
Hip Hop — Tabitha & Napoleon

Is this hip hop or a porn? Ryan kind of makes me giggle doing hip hop, but I still like him. The office porn routine is cute and Noelle keeps getting better. I sooooo hope she’s ditched former BFF Mollee Moron. The porn routine ends all politically correct when Noelle complains of “harassment” to Ryan, her “employer”.

Ashleigh Di Lello and Legacy Perez
Contemporary — Gary Stewart
The Poison — Prodigy

I don’t even have to pay attention to know they’re gonna nail it. Ashleigh is sick. Legacy makes funny faces, and although this is contemporary and not b-boy, the entire routine is in his ballpark. Gary Stewart…have I seen him before? He’s the most non-choreographer-looking choreographer I’ve ever seen!

Mollee Gray
Rock The Beat — LM*AO

(Is that really the artist of the song? Because I LMAO whenever I see this nitwit.)

OMG. How the hell are you so damn annoying? And why are you dressed in your trailer finest on national TV? Maybe if you would have gotten a GED, you would have more sense. I’m scared. Mollee Gray almost makes me miss POWDER aka Season 5’s Kayla Radomski!

Mollee Moron was a dead ringer for Jon Benet Ramsey. (I know. Bad pun.) Mollee Moron is still pissed because she didn’t become a star as a background dancer in those High School Musical shit. Her mother is one of those pretty milf types found mainly in Utah (re: Mormon) and the brother is actually named GAGE GRAY. This family is more saccharine than a dozen dead lab rats at the Sweet ‘n’ Low factory. Oh, in case you were wondering, her solo totally sucked. I’m not even sure what she did exactly.

Russell Ferguson
Outros — Black Milk


I like Russell and not just because he krumps. I love his family. And he’s from Roxbury. Russell is good people. He is the anti-Mollee. If he stuck a pick in those dreads, he would be my future husband.

Kathryn McCormick and Nathan Trasoras
Broadway — Spencer Liff
Choreography — Danny Kaye

The slicked-back hair and retro costuming makes Nathan look like the bisexual lovechild of k.d. lang and Shia LeBeouf. The judges love them, but think they lack chemistry. (Isn’t Kathryn at least a few years older than k.d. Lebeouf?) Meh. Kathryn looks gorgeous. Love the red lipstick.

Noelle Marsh
Every Time It Rains — Charlotte Martin


Small town + big family + trampoline + diploma (no GED). Ain’t Noelle just the epitome of wholesome? But while I know Mollee Moron and Noelle are the same age, it seems as if Noelle has a couple of years on her–not only in dancing, but in her overall demeanor. I just sense a greater maturity with this one. (Yes, I know I must shut up about Moron Mollee but she annoys me so! I can’t help it! I promise once she gets her ass booted I will stop.)

Ellenore Scott and Jakob Karr
Quickstep — Melanie Lapatin and Tony Meredith
Four Brothers

It’s official. I hate the quickstep. It does nothing for me. I like both Ellenore and Jakob, but his jazz hands stole the show. His jazz hands were the gayest, jazziest hands I’ve ever seen. I think Crazy Mary is on the sauce again even though her drink is rather full. I will simply believe she keeps topping it off during the routines. Shankman is a huge fan. I realize I want Jakob Karr to be Adam Shankman’s muse/cabana boy.

Ryan Di Lello
Rock You Like a Hurricane — The Scorpions

He was a product of dancing beget by two other products of dancing. I almost find it a bit sweet. He says he’s a born entertainer. AND OMG I LOVE HIS (STEP)DAD, this misty-eyed burly man named Wylie Anderson.

LOVE DAD OF RYAN. So sweet. I can be such a sap. Must be because I mixed the pad thai with Lorazepam this evening.

And I love Ryan even more right now because he, are you ready? HE DANCES TO THE SCORPIONS!!! It may be my most favorite solo EVER.

Kathryn McCormick
Beautiful — Bethany Dillon


How did I forget about Kathryn’s stage mommy. Why don’t dancers go to college? My niece is a dance major, I mean…its better to just go out and move to L.A. or something? Kathryn’s mom likes to cry. Now I know where Kathryn gets it!

Mollee Gray and Russell Ferguson
Lyrical Jazz — Mandy Moore
It Must Have Been Love — Roxette

How could they let this twit near my boy Russell? How could they allow her to bastardize one of Roxette’s greatest hits, dammit? HOW? WHY? I don’t think Mollee has gained maturity with a more mature partner…in fact, I sensed zero chemistry and zero emotion. The best part was seeing Sonya Tayeh!!! in the audience. Oh come on, Nigel, Mollee Moron DID NOT become a young woman in a week’s time just because she’s wearing apparel previously seen in Massengil commercials. When Mollee scratches Russell’s stomach, I totally cringe. Blech. And now Crazy Mary is talking about CHEMISTRY. This show is so damn rigged. I cannot take it anymore.

Nathan Trasoras
Golden Train — Justin Nozuka

Nathan needs to muss his hair in order for me to like him again. He already lost dead weight Mollee, but now he’s been saddled with that unfortunate slicked-back ‘do. And his family looked sweet, but I don’t buy the continuation tears on stage up there with Cat…not as well as I did in his “personality package”.

Noelle Marsh and Ryan Di Lello
Waltz
Jeux d’eau — O (Cirque du Soleil)

Ryan looks like a Disney prince. It kind of works for him. When this guy gets a permanent gig on Dancing With The Stars, I don’t think I’ll watch it, but I may check out a couple of his clips on Hulu or something. I like Noelle…even though I fear she will be Wednesday’s sacrificed brunette!

Ellenore Scott
Beatbox Harmonica — Yuri Lane


Ellenore is an engaging dancer because she always looks like she’s having the time of her life. She’s unique. Her solo was infinitely better than Moron Mollee, as is her effervescent smile.

Ashleigh Di Lello and Legacy Perez
Hip Hop — Dave Scott
Slow Down — Bobby Valentino

NOOOOOO. NO TWILIGHT SHIT. Now tell me…is there anything Ashleigh CANNOT do? She is by far this year’s strongest female dancer. Hands down. Getting hip hop for their second routine will also help solidify Legacy’s spot in the competition for some time longer. Plus, the dude has a fan base. And makes the best faces! Ruh roh. Nigel wasn’t feeling it. And then he bashes on Dave Scott. I do agree that there could have been a bit more dancing…uh…do these judges EVER disagree with one another?

Kathryn McCormick and Nathan Trasoras
Rumba — Melanie Lapatin and Tony Meredith
Walk On By — Aretha Franklin

Nathan’s facial expressions are ridiculous. Freaking me out a bit. He also was a bit unsteady when grabbing and letting go of her ass. Nigel bashes more choreographers tonight.

Legacy Perez
No Air — Chris Brown & Jordin Sparks

I love this song. I don’t care if a beater sang it. I haven’t heard it outside my iPod since…yeah, I know. No Air is pretty cheesy…but I like it. And I wonder just how much money Legacy was pulling in as a B-Boy hustler on the Santa Monica / Third Street Prominade. I bet he was making fat cash.

Ellenore Scott and Jakob Karr
Contemporary — Sonya Tayeh
Tore My Heart — OONA and Dave Tweedie

We already know this will be good because Sonya Tayeh did it. And yup. Here’s another song I will be downloading, courtesy of a Sonya Tayeh routine. I really want Sonya Tayeh to teach me how to dance. They’re just balls-out awesome. Sonya is awesome. I LOVE YOU SONYA TAYEH. This time, when the judges cream all over themselves, I’m totally okay with it. Shankman brings up The Garden, one of my all-time favorites (Courtney & Mark, Season 4 OF COURSE)! YESSSS! I was totally thinking the same thing!

Ashleigh Di Lello
Batucada Por Favor

Ashleigh had some crazy parasitic infection and is from Utah…with a blond mother with CRAZY blond hair. I am now assuming she is Mormon. Joseph Smith probably wrote a chapter about SYTYCD in that Book of Mormon. Whatevia. Ashleigh still graduated from college and is AWESOME.

NATURALLY, the final couple of the night includes MOLLEE MORON. Should I go back and COUNT how many times she’s performed last or second-to-last? (Tonight, she had the FIRST solo dance and the LAST couple routine.)

Mollee Gray and Russell Ferguson
Jive — Anya and Pasha
Land of 1000 Dances — Jimmy Barnes

Thank flying spaghetti monster this shit is almost over. I wish I could be more excited to see Russell dance again, alas, he was paired (“randomly”, of course) with Mollee Moron. Sorry, but you need to put a bag over her head if you want to convey any sort of “maturity” to the audience. Not only is she a total butter face, but she has the worst smile I’ve ever seen on the show. Russell, naturally, WAS AWESOME. I am so tired of the judges blowing smoke up her ass. She may be my least favorite SYTYCD contestant of all time. Crazy Mary even put them on the hot tamale train. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Jakob Karr
Always Midnight (Acoustic) — Pat Monahan

I like seeing photos of Jakob as a youth. And I really, really love his mother’s signage. I really like Jakob. In fact, I don’t really have any issues with any of the male contestants (although Nathan could go whenever, even though I partly want him to stay if only to spoil the judges plans)…and all the girls are good, too, well…except for ONE!!!

SYTYCD TOP 10 ELIMINATION SHOW RESULTS

I don’t feel like watching the whole damn thing, especially since it was pre-taped, but here’s what went down. Mollee lives another week. I will not be happy until she is eliminated. Who else wants that idiot kid gone? Come on! I know I’m not the only one out there!!!

Cat Deeley looked phenomenal, and people are taking issue with Tyce Diorio’s group number which promised to highlight all the contestants’ fortes. Hey, not everything Tyce does turns to gold….remember Katie Holmes? Jakob just lept around a lot. And Ryan and Ashleigh made out, which, in turn, well…we have @jambajim to thank for the ENRAGED Glamberts, now, don’t we? 🙂

Dear Dick Clark, the married couple’s kiss on tonight’s SYTYCD was just as graphic as Adam Lambert’s AMA smooch. Just sayin’. Love, Jim

Sadly, Noelle was eliminated. THE BOTTOM TWO girls were Noelle and Kathryn, because they always love to sacrifice brunettes on this show. While I think the audience got it right by eliminating Nathan, why the frak did you have RYAN DISNEY PRINCE in the bottom two? So basically, two couples were in the bottom two…are the judges happy now? As I mentioned before, I really don’t believe these partnerships were picked randomly.

Or people just wanted to get rid of those with names beginning with the letter N?

Next week, my Captain & Diet Strike will continue. I certainly will be getting thirsty soon if Miss Mollee Moron is not eliminated. Who else feels the same way? Don’t you think the judges keep shoving her down our throats and have been since hell, even before day one?

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. Wino permalink
    December 4, 2009 4:30 pm

    I hate, HATE mollee and her stupid grin, her 80s hair, her trailer white trash look…all of it. Oh, and to top it off (unlike Powder), she cannot dance. Her type of dancing (HS cheerleading/Laker girl) is not fit for this show, it lacks quality. I might have developed a slight girl crush on Kathryn (she was breathtaking in that broadway piece)….if she or ellenore go before the mormon, i might ….oh, i might nothing…lets get real, I will continue to watch the show and bytch about the results. Jakob is insane, my top boy without a doubt. Legacy and Russ are up there too. Really, the only person that needs to go is the Moron. Her placement on the show reeks of shayd backstage deals. You’re telling me a producer, agent, someone connected to HSM doesnt know or work with SYTYCD…riiiiiiiiiiiiight.

  2. Nancy permalink
    December 3, 2009 8:24 pm

    Great review as usual Topsy!! Loved the Powder crack—-I’ll be ill if Molly makes the finals.

  3. December 3, 2009 5:08 pm

    I actually really like Mollee. I haven’t seen high school musical (and I’m not planning to), but I don’t think you are giving her the credit she deserves for moving up from that piece of shit movie. I say, good for her.

  4. SarahBeth permalink
    December 3, 2009 11:39 am

    You’re a brave, brave woman for going on a Captain and Diet strike until Mollee is eliminated.

    Just saying. I love that you recap this so I dont have to watch it. Although did you hear HBD is performing on next week’s results show (YAY!)

    • TopIdol permalink
      December 3, 2009 2:31 pm

      They really should be getting him better gigs.

  5. December 3, 2009 4:32 am

    luv, but want your feedback on my vlog.

    just sayin.

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