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Danny Gokey got paid to sing in a North Carolina Bar

December 6, 2009

I recall someone BEGGING me for a Danny Gokey post, so here ya go. MJ posted these videos of Gokey’s recent gig at the City Limits Saloon in Raleigh, NC. Personally, anyone who sings at or even visits a saloon should spend their time worshiping the three wise men–Jack (Daniels), Jim (Beam) and Johnny (Walker).

Gokey, basking in the warm glow of the Budweiser and Miller Lite neon signage, received minor crowd whooping when he said JESUS and the hit high notes on his debut single, It’s Only.

Those poor bartenders at the City Limits Saloon probably made jack shit for tips on Friday night, given that the crowd was most likely Gokey frauen sipping Diet Coke. They were the ones you can hear whooping and…singing along.

(Does the fact Danny Gokey is from Wisconsin make him that cheesy? Hee hee. Dumb joke.)

Gokey also sang something called Tiny Life, which sounds like a Carrie Underwood ripoff (i.e., So Small). I think it was written by a regular Underwood collaborator? Regardless, it pisses me off when people are singing about things being tiny and small and there are ZERO mentions of midgets.

Gokey may or may not have sung an upcoming release from his debut album, penned by one Ms. Kara “Shit-For-Brains” DioGuardi. I guess she felt bad he didn’t get to sing No Boundaries, as you know she wrote that shit for him. Get this–it’s called I Still Believe. She can’t even write anything with an original title now, can she? (Uh…Strut will ALWAYS be a Sheena Easton song to me.) I never want to hear this song because of the pain it would induce. It’s the auditory equivalent of going to Kate Gosselin’s hairstylist. For chrissake — Kara DioGuardi + Danny Gokey + song with the word believe in the title = Sen. John McCain would consider the playing of this at Guantanamo Bay to be inhumane torture.

I still have serious doubts about Gokey gaining legitimacy as a country artist. Of course, if you ask his OMG NUMBER ONE FAN, she would disagree.

I’m looking forward to tagging along on the rest of Danny’s journey, and riding on the wings of his dream. Because for Daniel J. Gokey, a man who went through the worst thing a person can endure, and who spoke of wanting to die, a new door opened for him…and opened into a new world whose horizons have no boundaries (yeah, Danny should have sang that damned coronation song).   Almost overnight, this humble, sheltered young man from a working class background was thrust into sudden fame, and found he had to endure the most unspeakable hate from those who could not or would not understand his motives for following his dream rather than eternally grieving, for taking his grief and turning it into something beautiful and hopeful and good for himself and for others instead of allowing it to consume him.  But he also found love from millions of people who felt inspired by his voice, his passion, his music, and his message,  and in turn is inspired and energized and filled by it and able to pour it back out whenever he sings.

Unless it comes out that he kills kittens,  I believe Danny Gokey is going to be a megastar, possibly one of the most successful singers to ever be spawned from American Idol.

37 Comments leave one →
  1. December 8, 2009 3:19 am

    What a fucking dipshit she is. Direct quote from her music blog:

    “Allison, the sole female contestant remaining, is the next to perform. She sings Janis Joplin’s “Little Piece of My Heart.””

    JANIS JOPLIN SANG MORE THAN ONE SONG, TWATWAFFLE. She was born in the ’60s, in fact; she should be more aware of this than I should at my mere 23 years of age.

    • Isidra permalink
      December 8, 2009 5:56 am

      I think it’s funny how in her fictional journey, she has to change both Danny and Allison’s songs (and the duet line-ups) in order to vote Kris out.

      I mean, heck, if Allison gets to switch to a far more overrated Joplin song and Danny gets Elton John (Really?! For rock?!) then she could at least give Kris Revolution or something.

      Besides, in my very biased, fantardy, opinion, the only reason Kris was ever conceivably in danger of getting voted off that night was because Gokey doesn’t know how to sing a damn duet. With Allison or Adam, he’d have sailed in, no stress at all.

      • TopIdol permalink
        December 8, 2009 1:05 pm

        Ironically, I heard Renegade in the dentist’s office this morning. It reminded me of how Gokey tried to throw HBD under the bus.

        • Isidra permalink
          December 8, 2009 2:05 pm

          I actually think the studio version is pretty good (well, if you like Styx, anyway), but it’s pretty clear that it’s because the studio producers could tone Gokey’s ass down.

          Gokey’s fans like to claim that it was just a mismesh of styles, or that it was an equal failure. But KRIS can sustain a duet with Adam, Brian May (well, trio), Smokey Robinson and Keith Urban, which is beyond what Danny’s ever proven to be able to do.

          • TopIdol permalink
            December 8, 2009 2:46 pm

            This is still and always will be the best rendition of any Styx song.

            • Isidra permalink
              December 8, 2009 5:41 pm

              Well, yeah. But Cartman’s anything is guaranteed the best. 🙂

            • Mithra permalink
              December 8, 2009 5:56 pm

              I think this Styx cover gives Cartman’s a run for the money:

              I can’t hate on Gokey because honestly, his clueless douchiness was one of the things that made the show worth watching last season for the hilariousness factor of it all. Still – I hope Sarver beats his ass on the charts 😀

            • lauren722 permalink
              December 8, 2009 5:59 pm

              Mithra, that would make me so incredibly happy! I don’t love Sarver’s music, but he’s such a nice guy 🙂

  2. Isidra permalink
    December 7, 2009 8:21 pm

    I find her hypothetical Danny winning scenario fascinating. (It’s also on that livejournal). It basically seems to require changing EVERYTHING from Rock Week on in order to boot Kris out earlier, and sets up this fantasy alternate universe where Danny wins.

    All while insisting that she thinks Danny is better off for not winning.

    (Honestly, if I were going to spend that much effort creating an alternate universe scenario, I’d make it so *I* won. I’m too selfish to spend my fantasies on anyone other than me.)

    • Claire permalink
      December 7, 2009 8:39 pm

      “…sets up this fantasy alternate universe where Danny wins.

      All while insisting that she thinks Danny is better off for not winning.”

      What, that doesn’t make sense to you :)???

    • December 8, 2009 3:21 am

      Danny would never have won in any scenario, I don’t think. Most of the hardcore fans that voted were essentially complete Group 2 tards. All Kris/Adam/Allison/Matt fans would’ve pooled together against DWD. And for those that weren’t as into one or the other, they all were basically unified under one principle: Put the ‘GO’ in Gokey.

      • Isidra permalink
        December 8, 2009 5:50 am

        I think I tried pointing that out to her once on TWOP. Got a very long very complex post in reply that made very little sense.

        And then got an irate private message from a different Danny fan, accusing me of constantly trying to bring him down or something like that. It had been the one and only time I’d EVER posted in the man’s thread and it wasn’t even an insult!

        I kept the PM for amusement reasons, but swore to never go there again. Those bitches are SCARY.

      • Mithra permalink
        December 8, 2009 11:14 am

        Most of the hardcore fans that voted were essentially complete Group 2 tards

        There were tards of groups? Why am I suprised, yet not, about this. So THAT’s what’s behind “Kradison”? And the Quatto Killer tarding?

        • Isidra permalink
          December 8, 2009 2:09 pm

          I think it’s more that they tended to tard after the people who coincidently (or through producer manipulation, your call) ended up in Group 2. But that was a bit before I got re-interested in the show, so I couldn’t say for sure.

          I do think it’s funny how of the top five, four were conveniently in the same group in the semi-finals.

          It probably explains why I’m a Kris-fan though. Otherwise I’d have found all the producer machinations very depressing. This way, it’s the triumph of the little guy, and at least if it WAS manipulated, they were a bit less obvious/more underhanded about it. I can respect that.

    • lauren722 permalink
      December 8, 2009 5:49 pm

      There is no scenario that would let Danny win lol. If he somehow ended up in the finale, there is no way he would have beaten Kris. Anyone who can gain enough votes to beat crazy Glamberts can certainly crush Gokey. An Adam/ Gokey finale would have had the same result. Crazy Glamberts + Kris fans that are angry that the undeserving Gokey beat their choice would definitely result in an Adam victory. I even think La Princessa would have beat Gokey in the finale even though she technically got 4th. I mean after Adam and Kris were eliminated, really do you think the fans are going to back the only remaining member of Kradison or the possible homophobic man who pimps his dead wife and none of the other idols seem to like? Gokey getting 3rd was completely luck!

      • Isidra permalink
        December 8, 2009 11:39 pm

        Danny’s fanbase is pretty numerous. And scary. But yeah, there’s no way he’d have beaten any of those three.

        I have a friend who believes that he was supposed to win, just because No Boundaries was clearly written for him. (Too rangy for Kris, too saccharine-yet-folksy for Adam.)

        I think it was supposed to be him versus Adam, with Adam pulling the win (as he would) but with No Boundaries making it seem like slightly less of a one-sided pummeling match.

  3. Caspar permalink
    December 7, 2009 8:53 am

    Well, I like the godly kitteh!

    I was so relieved when Heliotripe finally dropped Cook, sorry to see she’s baaack. It was all I could do to restrain myself from sending her a ‘get the hell to a psychiatrist’ pm months ago when she (who has 2 kids!) wrote a long, purple-prose post on DCO about how she’d step in front of a speeding car or something in order to save DC’s life.

    And now she actually believes that Gokey is a gorgeous hunk of a man. That alone = BSC.

    • Smartie permalink
      December 7, 2009 5:33 pm

      She’s still just as obsessed about Baldy as she is about Dead wife Douchebag.

      • TopIdol permalink
        December 7, 2009 6:22 pm

        I don’t have that much time in my day to obsess over multiple things. Hell, I don’t even have time to obsess over men I’ve actually met and repeatedly slept with anymore.

  4. nonna-muss permalink
    December 7, 2009 8:01 am

    This is the same stuff she spouted about Cook this time last year and dropped him like a hot potato when the new Idol season came along. She’ll find a new victim this year, she’s already waiting desperately for January.

    • Verbally Dyslexic permalink
      December 7, 2009 9:25 am

      Oh no! How is Danny going to be a country superstar without the support of his No. 1 Fan?

  5. nobunnyearshere permalink
    December 7, 2009 1:18 am

    Love the kittens. (our kittehs are pagans). Fokkin’ HATE loony stalkerbitch Heliotrope. She’s obviously not getting enough attention on Gokeyland or Twitter or whateverthefuck her website is, so she’s reappeared at David Cook’s website, pimping her latest bullshit about Cook’s transformation What the fuck she think he is, a terminator?! She likes to stalk other fans and ask them questions about themselves and about how they feel about her writing. And some of the other skeery, OTT fans suck up to her & think she’s just suuuuucccchhhhh a good writer. Yeah, like Kara Dioguardi is an awesome songwriter. They and Gokey should have a threeway.

    • Smartie permalink
      December 7, 2009 2:00 am

      She’s continually twatting links to her novels about lusting Baldy and Deadwife. To anyone, including both contestants. She is DESPERATE for attention. From anyone.

      Check out her Twatter, she’s been obsessing about DWD’s dick. A lot.

  6. Verbally Dyslexic permalink
    December 7, 2009 1:09 am

    Danny Gokey post (yessssss!!!! *fist pumps*)

    BRB watching videos and reading. Also, the kittens? Look like miinatures of my cats, Bobo and Boy. TI, I think we’re meant to be 🙂

  7. lauren722 permalink
    December 7, 2009 12:13 am

    Haha when I saw the atheist kitten I literally loled. My parents actually came in because they thought it was weird that I was laughing at something while alone in my room. I said it was just my psychology textbook. 🙂

  8. AIFan permalink
    December 6, 2009 11:56 pm

    You should read Danny’s thread on TWOP. It’s good for a lot of lolz. Heliotrope and her minions really believe that Danny will be as big as Carrie. But the 3 songs that he has released thus far are very mediocre, so good luck with that part.

    And can I say how much I love that atheist kitten ?????

    • TopIdol permalink
      December 7, 2009 12:12 am


      (Oskar is an atheist, btw.)

      Checked out TWOP and I don’t even know what chart they’re talking about. Good sign, right? 😉

      • AIFan permalink
        December 7, 2009 12:17 am

        I knew I loved Oskar for a reason !

        They are talking about a Country Chart. I seriously can’t wait for his album to come out – it’s going to be hilarious.

        • deez permalink
          December 7, 2009 12:46 am

          I think Adam, Kris, or Allison (Sarver, Meagan, etc…and perhaps even ATHEIST CAT) could all make a better country album than Deadwife. A big star? uhuh.

          I’m not even gonna attempt a listen b/c I already know what it is…stupid inspirational cheese with trite lyrics that sound as if they were written by a 14 y/o girl whose friends have told her she should write a song, b/c “You know, OMG, You write SOOOO GOOOOOOOD!!!!”

          • lauren722 permalink
            December 7, 2009 12:54 am

            No, I disagree Deez, when I was 14 and I told my friend “You know, OMG, You write SOOOO GOOOOOOOD!!!!”, her lyrics were much more sophisticated than Danny’s.
            I’m currently imagining Adam or Allison having to do a country album. I think the atheist cat would do an excellent job though!

  9. Smartie permalink
    December 6, 2009 11:56 pm

    this humble, sheltered young man

    😆 She actually believes this, which is the funniest aspect of her online masturbation sessions with her keyboard. And she twats the link at him all the time, as well as twats about his penis. 😆

    I pity her kids. No wonder the husband left.

  10. lauren722 permalink
    December 6, 2009 11:02 pm

    I didn’t listen to those as I’ve already heard as much of “It’s only” as I can endure. I must say as much as I disliked him on Idol, he has gotten much worse.
    Oh and Danny Gokey desecrating “Dream on” does kill kittens so thus he will not be a megastar.
    I kinda want to hear the Kara/ Danny song for the lolz. I occasionally listen to “No Boundaries” as it makes me chuckle. Number one fan is right, Danny does deserve that sorry excuse for a song.

  11. freedavidcook permalink
    December 6, 2009 11:00 pm

    I think this is one of the signs of the apocalypse, the opening of the seals of God’s wrath, the release of this douchebaggy’s CD. It’s going to be a Biblical .Old Testament style torture to listen to it.

    • lauren722 permalink
      December 6, 2009 11:04 pm

      But don’t worry, Buffy will save the day!
      *Sorry the reference to opening of the seal reminded me of the Buffy finale. I’m a geek, I know.*

  12. pattyluponey permalink
    December 6, 2009 10:59 pm

    HAHAHA!!! City Limits is a chain in NC…I lived in Wilmington for 4 years. They have a mechanical bull and male strippers on like every other Friday. It’s a total wannabe bar. Only fake cowboys go there. Gokey would play a wannabe country bar…

  13. Smartie permalink
    December 6, 2009 10:53 pm

    I bet Heliotripe is now masturbating madly to that video.

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