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Adam Lambert: Not a Ratings Juggernaut

December 8, 2009

Media controversy, sparkle cow outrage, tranny piss and over 190,000 albums sold may have meant a hectic week for Adam Lambert, but it doesn’t necessarily prove he is THE BIGGEST ROCK GOD SINCE ELVIS, MICK JAGGER AND MICHAEL JACKSON!!!ELEVENTY!!!

After Good Morning America 86-ed Lambert as a guest and CBS’ The Early Show snagged him, many [overzealous Adam Lambert fans] predicted a ratings windfall for the the least-watched network morning show.

The numbers are in and the sparkle cow boycott did nothing–GMA handily won the ratings war on November 25th, even with Lambert performing live on CBS.

According to ratings data provided by Nielsen, the Nov. 25 broadcast of “The Early Show,” on which Mr. Lambert was interviewed by Maggie Rodriguez and performed two of his songs (and got a shout-out from his mother) was watched by 2.61 million people, consistent with the show’s ratings earlier that week and the 2.63 million viewers it averaged after 7:25 a.m. in the four weeks prior.

“Good Morning America,” which canceled a planned concert by Mr. Lambert after his controversial Nov. 22 performance on the American Music Awards, handily beat “The Early Show” on Nov. 25, drawing nearly 4.5 million viewers. In the four previous weeks, “Good Morning America” averaged about 4.36 million viewers between 7 a.m. and 8:25 a.m.

Whoa. But I thought Adam Lambert’s very existence guaranteed high ratings for any show! I mean, Flash Forward used a guy who looked like him on their pilot AND his version of Mad World in the previews because Lambert was the biggest thing since sliced bread, the 1990s’ New York Yankees AND Tiger Woods’ little black book.

Again, I’m not laughing at Lambert. Just those sparkle cows. They make me giggle.

Considering it was done in two days time and not fully advertised. Maybe you should check out how many people showed up with such short notice or all the hits to the video links. Less not forget the AMA’s had their highest ratings in 7 years. You can bet that one on the Lambert factor.

I hate when people erroneously use apostrophes with acronyms.

Where ADAM goes, highest ratings follow. Happy are those of us who really know him thus love him, understand him and have fun with him. ADAM excites, thrills and electrifies. i look forward to years and years of being entertained to the hilt Love you, ADAM baby.

Hey. Guess what? You don’t KNOW him just because he signed your bra at an post-Idol concert meet & greet in Tulsa. I have a photo of myself and Alan Thicke from when I was 11 and I do not go around telling people I know Alan Thicke.

60 Comments leave one →
  1. sosad permalink
    December 10, 2009 12:14 am

    Alan Thicke is HOTT!!!!


    I want a Lamb Skank snuggie.

  2. December 9, 2009 7:17 pm

    Thanks for that link, this made me laff out loud:
    “Should we expect any original songs on Danny’s album? Not this time around. Danny said he offered his services, but the label “politely declined.” Danny said, “I walked away kind of pouting, because they said there was no time, and I went, ‘Come on.’ But, honestly, they were so right. They were so right. There was no time. I’m glad I didn’t, because it would have been a mess.”
    Doubt there will ever be to infinity and beyond enough time to include a Gokey-penned song. But they should have allowed a tiny little one through, just for the comic value.

    • Verbally Dyslexic permalink
      December 9, 2009 8:19 pm

      It’s kind of amusing that Gokey thinks he’s a songwriter. Heliotrope should offer to co-write with him, she has a lot of emotions that I’m sure she’s dying to portray as well.

    • TopIdol permalink
      December 9, 2009 8:32 pm

      Have you ever heard his pre-Idol music? I have a post of it somewhere. I couldn’t get through more than 30 seconds.

      • lauren722 permalink
        December 9, 2009 9:21 pm

        Oh, no I haven’t! I just kinda assumed that he wasn’t a songwriter. Is the writing as awful as that single of his?

  3. lauren722 permalink
    December 9, 2009 6:39 pm

    LeighKat tweeted this. It literally just made my week. They didn’t do that to Kradison! Danny really is a second class citizen in the idol world 🙂

    • deez permalink
      December 9, 2009 9:20 pm

      I don’t know which is more off-putting…the music or that mug.

  4. deez permalink
    December 9, 2009 12:29 pm

    Please. Another Glambert campaign:

    Just stop it. As you can see, your efforts only served to piss the guy off.

    • TopIdol permalink
      December 9, 2009 3:20 pm


      I am a staunch Adam fan and would love to see him perform on the Oscars because of that fact, but you ar entitled to your opinions too. Like Adam, I know that not everyone is going to be a fan. Thank you for taking our passion for Adam into consideration when posting this. I have a feeling that you might be a little more open to pursuasion to understand our obsession.

      Reasons why I think Adam should perform on the Oscars.

      1. Ratings will soar among those people who are Adam fans that are not avid movie goers and would normally not watch the Oscar show. This can work in favor of the film industry since the films and actors will have exposure to a different audienance.
      2. Music is an intricable part of cinema. Just because TMF was not eligible it still qualifies as a movie song.
      3.Adam is also an actor, all though it be stage. Many of the actors made their start in theatre.
      4. He is a wonderful performer even without bells and whistles. He has the ability to draw you into a song like a good actor draws you into a scene.
      5. He has fans who are members of the SAG and members who are also singers
      6. The camera loves him.(not to mention a host of admirers)

      These are just a few of my reasons why I think Adam should perform on the Oscars.

      Respectfully yours,
      Adam Fan

      • Nich permalink
        December 9, 2009 4:03 pm

        Oh that letter is just precious. God I hope it wasn’t written by an adult.

        • deez permalink
          December 9, 2009 4:16 pm

          The ability to spell words containing more than two syllables should be a required condition for writing these “please take us seriously” letters.

          • Nich permalink
            December 9, 2009 4:19 pm

            IMO anyone who writes a “please take us seriously” letter based on a fandom of any kind shouldn’t be taken seriously.

      • lauren722 permalink
        December 9, 2009 5:38 pm

        Ughhhh, so many grammar errors. This is seriously embarrassing, fellow Adam fans, SERIOUSLY EMBARRASSING.
        Trying to sound smart just doesn’t work when you are only 2 pts from a mentally retarded IQ: “intricable” I-N-E-X-T-R-I-C-A-B-L-E! You know what is inextricable? Tards and typos!!!!! And I agree that Adam shouldn’t perform at the Academy Awards. If he isn’t eligible, why would he be there????? That is not homophobia; that’s common sense. It’s he fine, he’ll be nominated next year when he sings for the Eclipse soundtrack. *crosses fingers*

        • TopIdol permalink
          December 9, 2009 6:07 pm

          And I agree that Adam shouldn’t perform at the Academy Awards. If he isn’t eligible, why would he be there????? That is not homophobia; that’s common sense.

          Lauren is a teenager. She is smarter than the entire population of Glamberts.

          • lauren722 permalink
            December 9, 2009 6:11 pm

            Aw, thanks TI. It’s kind of scary that I seem so intelligent and sane compared to these people. I am OBSESSED with Adam! My friends think I am loco. Yet compared to these ultra idiotic crazies, I am the epitome of sanity!

  5. Burgundy LaRue permalink
    December 9, 2009 12:19 pm

    Adam really needs to lay off the foundation. He slathers it on in an attempt to cover his acne scars, but it only makes things worse, IMO. You’d think he would go with microdermbrasion to help with that. Or least use that Olay Regenerist cream that’s on the market to see if that would work.

    • TopIdol permalink
      December 9, 2009 12:36 pm

      Can’t he go get a chemical peel and stay inside for a weekend or something?

      No man his age should have skin that terrible. It honestly would not be that bad if he simply laid off the makeup.

  6. deez permalink
    December 9, 2009 11:25 am

    I don’t know what he was thinking here:

    He looks like a cross between Liza Minelli and the Heat Miser. I kinda wish he’d look natural when not performing. He’s attractive w/o all the “additives.”

    • auntieaimee permalink
      December 9, 2009 12:46 pm

      The best he ever looked was in the photos from EW when he was in the recording studio. No makeup and very little if any product in his hair. When he’s all done up like this, it just makes him look “hard” and worn out.

      • Burgundy LaRue permalink
        December 9, 2009 1:01 pm

        Just say what you’re thinking: rode hard and put away wet. 😉

  7. kimberly permalink
    December 9, 2009 12:08 am

    Just came across this. I thought TOP IDOL might enjoy this. I never saw it before. The man is a fool.

  8. kimberly permalink
    December 8, 2009 11:30 pm

    “Happy are those of us who really know him thus love him, understand him and have fun with him.”

    This reads like a Beatitude: “Blessed are those of us who really know him thus love him, understand him and have fun with him.”

    Worship at the altar of Lambert, ROCK GOD!

  9. erinnthered permalink
    December 8, 2009 11:19 pm

    I’m telling you, I don’t think that GMA show was sold out. I bet they really canceled to cover for the fact that it was a dud. He’s just not going to make a huge impact in the long run. Not in the genre he’s chosen to compete in. I don’t know if any Idol contestant can anymore.

    I say this as Kris’ supposedly dead single is currently, inexplicably climbing the charts. Still not going to be the next Maroon 5.

    • TopIdol permalink
      December 8, 2009 11:34 pm

      Here is some dumb bitch who has created a Twitter account solely to harass all the “haters”.

      She keeps telling me to sell my haterade somewhere else.

      • Isidra permalink
        December 8, 2009 11:41 pm

        “sell your haterade”? Is she six?

      • kimberly permalink
        December 8, 2009 11:44 pm

        The extent of the craziness these people possess is mind-boggling. They actually twitter-attacked Jim C. and Kimberly Allen when Kim Allen bribed Jim C. with dinner in AR cooked by her and Jim jokingly said he would ask all his twitter followers to vote AR in the Seacrest-Kradison concert contest. Kim Allen got miffed and told them to back off Jim C. I love that women! She doesn’t put up with nonsense. I mean she’s younger than most of these Glamberts which is insane.

        Maybe it was crazy with Aiken, but I think there was still a certain innocence in the early days of IDOL. Now it’s just bizarre and ugly. These women seriously need pyschological intervention. At the very least keep the sharp objects away from them.

        • Isidra permalink
          December 8, 2009 11:53 pm

          As I recall, the Claymates were having clique wars, trying desperately to pretend he wasn’t gay (and woe betide, if you were among the tiny group of fans who called it way back when. I hadn’t faced that much stern disapproval from women twenty or thirty years older than me since Sunday School), and hiding poor Ruben’s CDs in Walmart.

          Oh and melodramatic stories about how Clay changed lives. So really, much the same.

          But the real crazy, stalkery, tattooing stuff didn’t kick in for about a year or two, I think. (I was gone LONG before that.)

          The scarier Adam fans have taken the same route, only in six months instead of two years. It’s kind of fascinating!

          At least from a safe distance.

          • erinnthered permalink
            December 9, 2009 12:25 am

            I think the Taylor fans were the first to do the tattoos, and the Claymates followed. The Claymates were the first to do tard art cars, though. Glamberts seem to be an amalgam of the worst of both. With a few Cooktard ideas thrown in too. It’s like the Idol undead. The Zombie Idol Fan Apocalypse.

            AIM FOR THE HEAD!!

        • TopIdol permalink
          December 9, 2009 1:06 am

          I love the Allen family and everything I’ve even seen from Kris’ old buddies. They seem completely unaffected by this bullshit and have not done any grifting.

          The Twitter exchange between Jim and Mrs. Allen was cute. It was all in good fun. I actually think its sweet how she Tweets with Jim. Attacking someone’s MOTHER like that? Inexcusable and disgusting.

          Oh yeah. One more thing. Mrs. Allen is not only younger than a good many of the Glamberts, she also kicks their asses in the looks department. Perhaps I shouldn’t be so petty but those freaks are ugly on the inside more than anything, so I can’t really feel bad saying such things.

        • 12cubed permalink
          December 9, 2009 3:25 pm

          They actually twitter-attacked Jim C. and Kimberly Allen when Kim Allen bribed Jim C. with dinner in AR cooked by her and Jim jokingly said he would ask all his twitter followers to vote AR in the Seacrest-Kradison concert contest.

          OMG. I just looked at Mrs. Allen’s twitter, and…did she actually get *death threats*?!

          The mind boggles.

      • LeighKat permalink
        December 8, 2009 11:57 pm

        you know I had to put that bitch on blast! lol! It’s probably Lambie undercover.

        • TopIdol permalink
          December 9, 2009 1:07 am

          Lambie wouldn’t be lame enough to say HATERADE.

          Bitch tweets me every so often with horrible things. It’s easy to do under the cloak of anonymity.

          • Smartie permalink
            December 9, 2009 1:38 am

            Wow she’s so tough. Shouldn’t she be off finishing off that knitting for her grandkiddies?

      • erinnthered permalink
        December 9, 2009 12:21 am

        Dear God. This is worse than the Soul Patrol. and really, in many ways they were worse than the Claymates with the online attacks and BS.

        Freedom? name checking the Constitution? Random cries of discrimination? Yep. This one watches an awful lot of Fox News.

        What were these women doing in their teens that they didn’t work this stuff out of their system? Clearly they were birthing babies and being good housewives in their 20s. I’m actually half serious here. If I can figure this out, it will help with my screenplay.

        I’m definitely starting to ‘tard Kris’ family too. *sigh*

        Also, I’m finally following you on Twitter.

      • Smartie permalink
        December 9, 2009 12:26 am

        Haterade 😆 Awwww I remember when I was eight.

        • TopIdol permalink
          December 9, 2009 1:09 am

          One of the few people Snark90 follows on Twitter is…LARRY KING!!!

      • Mithra permalink
        December 9, 2009 2:54 am

        (shit – I typo-ed my name. Long day. Reposting 😀 )

        It’s amazing that these idiots are so invested that they take time to make sockpuppet twitter accounts. I had a run in with one, still not 100% on who it was, (I have a short list and holly sockpuppets is on it) but they sent me Britney Spears porn spam after I blocked them. As Sarver would say “Good Times!!!”

        Anyone reading the scaries in the early days of Adam on Idol could spot his epic crazy tards a mile away. I’m not so sure they can dial it down so fast to re-tard in a couple of months. These women are commited (and should be) – just look at MJ’s every day and the number of long winded posts.

    • kimberly permalink
      December 8, 2009 11:35 pm

      “Still not going to be the next Maroon 5.” — erinnthered

      Thank God for that. Hate Maroon 5. Perhaps Kris will sell like any other Indie artist or he might just hang tough on the charts with decent singles and radio play. Not in it for superstardom, just good music.

      • erinnthered permalink
        December 9, 2009 12:27 am

        Oh, I don’t mean artistically. I was referring to approximate level of fame. It took a few months for Maroon 5’s first album to take off, and it seems the same for Kris. I just don’t think it will take off in the same way.

        I don’t want him to be the next Maroon 5 either. Or the next The Fray.

        • Burgundy LaRue permalink
          December 9, 2009 11:04 am

          I’ve said it before, but to repeat–I think Kris could wind up like Kings of Leon, who I find to be pretty cool. A couple of years ago, only diehard fans had heard of them. But they kept plugging away with constant touring and various interviews. Then they scored a huge radio hit with “Use Somebody.” Now they have a platinum album and everyone loves them.

          Jive is actually pretty good at working with their artists to maintain exposure, so I imagine they’ll keep Kris busy with promotion because they understand that sooner or later, it’ll pay off. I think Kris has made some good strides so far and that’ll help him in the spring when he begins touring again.

          As for Adam–who knows? I wish the guy well, but I think he’s burning himself out too quickly with trying too hard to be edgy and doesn’t have much to back him up. He’s still interesting, but that and a dollar buys you a candy bar. Yeah, his first-week album sales were good. But that’s not the be all and end all for him. Lady Gaga may be freaky, but she proves herself with quality performances and smart interviews. Adam may get to that level one day but he hasn’t shown it so far. It’s just a wait and see game at this point.

          • Starr permalink
            December 12, 2009 7:20 am

            Agree completely with your post. I remember buying my first Kings of Leon album in 2005, Aha Shake Heartbreak, and loved it so much but wondered why the heck they weren’t on anybody’s radar. They got attention on the radio for “On Call” off the third album, Because of the Times, but only from indie stations. I was pretty surprised they took off with Only By the Night. I didn’t really expect them to get mainstream attention with this album either, so it was a surprise to see that they are well-received by the public now.

            It’s still really early to tell what kind of career Kris will have, but after reading Katy Allen’s interview with, it really seems like he will be focusing on his “sound” on the second album – which Katy described as folky, acoustic and funky – three things I could not be happier about. She mentions that “Alright With Me” is closest to Kris’s sound, which is awesome, because I think this is the standout song on the album and seems to be getting love from fans as well as from the people outside of the Idol bubble.

            Personally, although I know people hate making Jason Mraz comparisons with Kris, I think he is headed for the Jason Mraz route. When I first heard “Live Like We’re Dying”, I thought about “The Remedy”. Both songs are wordy and extremely catchy, but not really the best songs on the album. Mraz wasn’t really popular when he first came out with Waiting for My Rocket to Come. “The Remedy” was not a monster hit when it was released, but it was catchy, so it got decent radio airplay. It took time before it caught on and became a hit with the masses. Mraz got HUGE on this current album, We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things, even though I think he could have been huge with WFMRTC if only people knew about his music and appreciated his laid-back style.

            The same can be said for Kris, except unlike Jason, he has the Idol platform and 19E and Jive behind him, who are flashier and tend to go for big things than Atlantic is. I think that if he chooses another catchy single, like CSA or BWCU, he will start to cement himself on top 40, and then he can go for the highbrow songs like “Bring It Back” and “Is It Over”.

            I still think he should release “Alright With Me” over the summer.

  10. kimberly permalink
    December 8, 2009 11:19 pm

    Alan Thicke in Playgirl is just so wrong. That cover cracks me up. Women found Thicke sexier than Mick Jagger? Hmmm… His sitcom son was cute, the creationist. So will we be laughing at Adam’s Details’ Cover the same way as Alan Thicke’s Playgirl cover,(you are laughing, right?) wondering what became of him?

    Speaking of Details — happened upon a copy with John Mayer on the cover. I flipped through to see how they photgraphed him, wondering if he would go for “edgy” like Lambert. I suppose if Mayer was to imitate Adam’s edgy, he would need to be tonguing a naked male model. Sorry to say nothing as salacious or salty. I use the word salty after hearing a guest on NBC Today show use it to describe the sodium content of a plate of food. “Even saltier than an Adam Lambert performance.” (paraphrased) It was quite the joke. So are we still going with there’s no such thing as bad publicity here?

    Back to Mayer — white t-shirt, jeans sitting on a chair. Photos were really good. I don’t think the guy is all that attractive, but he did look sexy, and yes, edgy, in a very classy way. Very low-key, nothing over the top, very self-assured. There’s something to be said for subtlety.

    Thought I’d ask, anyone up for cow-tipping? The sparkle variety.

  11. lauren722 permalink
    December 8, 2009 11:12 pm

    Haha! Though GMA is generally much more popular than the Early Show, so Adam didn’t really stand a chance of winning the ratings war. I guarantee you if he was on GMA, he would have easily beat CBS; but again that isn’t hard. Honestly, Adam probably did help the AMAs but nowhere near as much as Gaga did.

    • cimi permalink
      December 9, 2009 2:31 am

      Honestly, I’d watch Adam’s mediocre AMA performance again and again over Lady GaGa’s. At least his was entertaining

      • Starr permalink
        December 12, 2009 7:02 am

        I am of the opposite opinion. I loved Gaga’s performance, especially that whole stint with the whiskey bottles? None of it seemed contrived, especially once you know what the song she’s singing, “Speechless”, is about. Adam’s, on the other hand…

    • yuppie permalink
      December 9, 2009 6:56 am

      I think the point was that both GMA and The Early Show had the same ratings they always have, and thus, Adam’s non-appearance and appearance, respectively, had no effect on their ratings at all.

      • TopIdol permalink
        December 9, 2009 12:27 pm

        Exactly. But you’re not a sparkle cow.

  12. Mysterioso permalink
    December 8, 2009 10:32 pm

    His only hope is going on TV shows to promote his flaccid career, since radio is ignoring him, and this looks like it ain’t gonna work. His album just plummeted out of the Top 10. Even The Moppet Of Beelzebub is outselling him!

    • freedavidcook permalink
      December 8, 2009 11:04 pm

      ‘flaccid’ career! teehee! You make it sound like he needs Viagra for his career.

      How much longer will it be before the sparkle cows admit defeat and lust for someone else? His career is DOA, no media outlet will touch him without rubber gloves and lysol. Quickest post-Idol crash and burn ever.

    • erinnthered permalink
      December 9, 2009 12:38 am

      Ah, but the Moppet sold his soul…well, his parents gave him permission to sell his soul because he’s underage…so it makes sense that he can inexplicably (I’m loving that word right now) sell a crazy number of albums. Especially at the Holidays, when parents are more likely to purchase things for their tweens in a bad economy. It’s almost like his record label had a good marketing strategy to go with that push from Satan…

      But…but…but he sold more than twice HBD in his first week! The two top markets in the country are playing his single! He’s a RAWK GOD!!! Yeah, talk to me in three to six months. He may just pull it out after the holiday season, but it’s not looking good.

  13. Nich permalink
    December 8, 2009 10:30 pm

    I feel like I should be surprised. But it’s the CBS Morning Show. I barely remember they have a morning show. I always think of NBC or ABC first.

  14. LeighKat permalink
    December 8, 2009 10:26 pm

    When will this faulty logic that Adam on the AMA’s = highest AMA’s ever?
    Hello?!! weren’t there tons of other performances that night? Gagaloo and company are pretty popular… AREN’T THEY?

    It’s time to herd up the sparkle cows and ship them off to their own little corner of the artic- I am sick to death of them all.

    • Nich permalink
      December 8, 2009 10:32 pm

      Yeah I would think the combo of Whitney’s comeback, Janet’s 8 minute opener and Lady Gaga helped push the ratings up a little more than just Adam.

      Also how is it possible to capitalize “Adam” but not “I”?

  15. cubannerd permalink
    December 8, 2009 10:21 pm

    ……..(‘(…´…´…. ¯~/’…’)
    ……….”…\………. _.·´

    • cimi permalink
      December 9, 2009 2:27 am

      That’s pretty cool. Did you type that out or copy and paste?

  16. Smartie permalink
    December 8, 2009 10:13 pm


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