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SYTYCD Top 8 Results Show aka Season 6’s BEST EVER EPISODE Recap

December 9, 2009

Can someone tell me why this week has been all about the Samantha Ronson Remixes? Nothing against Ronson, nothing at all, I’m just wondering why this is the 5th song of her’s we’ve heard this week and if featuring different DJs/producers is going to be an ongoing theme–and if so, can you download the tracks?

In any case, it’s good to see a Sonya Tayeh group routine, even if the big finale did not involve dropping Mollee on her head. (But HOORAY for INTENSE LEGACY FACIAL EXPRESSIONS!)

I kid, I kid. Anyway, if my SYTYCD dreams come true this evening and Miss Mollee Gray gets sent packing, I will record myself dancing around my living room. Ok. Back to important things. I HAVE TO HAVE CAT DEELEY’S DRESS.

Over 8 million votes were cast last night. I want Cat Deeley’s dress. I also want to know why everything on TV is NOT hosted by Cat Deeley. FINALLY! The Samantha Ronson partnership is explained. It’s the first time I’ve Ms. Ronson speak and I must say she has a beautiful voice. I like her, for whatever reason. There’s just something likable about Samantha Ronson. I mean, you know she’s probably been the only beacon of sanity in Lindsay Lohan’s life since that girl got off the set of Mean Girls and I can’t even blame her for getting involved with that trainwreck.

I really, really, really need to know why Jakob is the only male contestant sporting the Lycra/Spandex blend when everyone else is in denim. Because of this, I am so going to believe he is just reminding Shankman what he’s got going on below torso. And I soooo want Cat Deeley’s dress.

When Russell Ferguson comes back home to Dorchester, I may have to seek him out just so I can meet Santa Krump himself. And after last night’s performances, was there any doubt in our mind that he would be safe?

So Legacy and Ryan are in the bottom 2. I totally blame Tabitha and Napoleon for Legacy being in danger. Their routines have been complete shit lately and I guarantee you things would have been different if Legacy and Ellenore’s first routine and been their last of the evening, because that was simply off the hook.

Jakob is a fantastic dancer, but he reminds me of so many other contemporary dancers I’ve seen on this show. Ryan is too ballroom for my tastes, but hey, I like them both. If I had it my way, we would keep everyone except Mollee and declare the 7 of them SYTYCD Season 6 champions. And then Shankman and Jakob can hook up and we can all have a super-fun dinner party with Cat Deeley, and perhaps they would tell me whether or not Crazy Mary Murphy has a hearing problem and what she takes with her Captain & Diet. Homegirl is like Oskar on the nip. Sometimes, I think it would be fun to be Crazy Mary for say, 48 hours.

MAKE. IT. STOP. It has been decided. Moron Mollee has less fashion sense than Britney Spears. I really, really, really don’t want to see Kathryn in the Bottom 2. She is by far the most-improved dancer of the season and…YES!!! Kathryn has made it to the finale!! Ellenore is in danger…now down to Mollee and Ashleigh…come on! Send the right Mormon to the finale! YESSSSSSSSSSS

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Ok. I know it doesn’t mean anything but I am at least temporarily filled with mirth. Come on, Shankman. Just admit that everyone hates Mollee. It has nothing to do with Nathan (this season’s unanimous whipping boy), it has everything to do with the fact she just sucks and acts as if she is 13.

OMG. The Wonder Girls. Who are they? They suck. Is this Asia’s answer to The Pussycat Dolls (who also suck)? This is excruciating. Seriously. What am I watching?

(And why is Megan Mullally shilling for I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter? It’s not even shot in HD!) Oh wow. KMART PRODUCT PLACEMENT! Dancers in pajamas exchanging gifts with their respective partners! Gifts from Kmart!

Am I really supposed to believe the helmet wasn’t actually supposed to go with Moron Mollee’s Elmo hands? I have a feeling they must cork her fork at dinner, so…

Mollee, eat your applesauce.

I also want to believe Legacy and Kathryn will double date with Shankman and Jakob. A girl can dream, can’t she? The Goddess Cat Deeley announces the upcoming auditions for Season 7 and I just hope that a CERTAIN READER OF MY BLOG WITH NAME BEGINNING WITH THE LETTER C will be one of the girls we see next summer.

I would write about the solos but I don’t really think the solos matter much anymore, therefore…let’s just hurry this shit up. Ryan gets acrobatic and Moron Mollee makes me cringe with her attempts at being sexy. Seriously. That’s like Chris Hansen Dateline shit.

YAY HOT BY DEFAULT TIME!!!!!

Although I would have loved to have heard say, Can’t Stay Away, I still kind of like Live Like We’re Dying. Plus its good to see his debut single gaining traction on the charts. And for some reason, and in a very non-slash/tard way, I think it would be really funny if Kris Allen went over to his drummer and started making out with him.

I am also thankful the bass guitarist looks nothing like Constantine Maroulis when you look at him straight on. I was rather scared when I saw those YouTube clips from Disney World. It is safe to say Kris Allen has a better-looking band than his Idol-winning predecessor. (I’m looking at you, David Cook!) Actually, I find it incomprehensible how anyone could ever HATE this guy???

Um…I am now really curious to see what Allen and his band can do beyond the debut album.

JUSTICE IS SERVED! JUSTICE IS SERVED! JUSTICE IS SERVED! I CAN DRINK CAPTAIN & DIET AGAIN!!!!!!!


And just look at the other dancers. Right now, I love Ashleigh Di Lello with all my evil fraking heart. LOOK AT THAT FACE!!! LOOK AT IT!!! CRISTAL CONNORS FOR THE WIN!

Oh, you know the best advice I ever got? You’re up there on stage, hopin’ on a spot. If someone gets in your way, step on ’em. If you’re the only one left standing there, they hire you. That’s about it. Thank you and good night, ladies and gentlemen. Elvis has left the building.

(And thank you, recap film, for reminding me how badly Mollee and Nathan butchered the beauty that is Bollywood.)

CRY! CRY! CRY!

I almost feel badly. That always happens. Oh, who am I kidding. I just WANT to feel badly. WHOA. WHAT???? Ryan over Legacy???

I think Legacy will do just fine, but that still kind of sucks. However, if it meant sacrificing Mollee, well then, I guess it had to be done. Oh, Legacy’s parents. I adore you. You should be very proud. He is awesome. I don’t like watching Legacy cry, but I am totally loving Mollee’s dreams shattered and her subsequently blowing them away with lame little kisses as tears stream down her face. Her Ashleigh sabotage was foiled! Foiled! Cristal Connors always has the last laugh!

Mmm-hmmm. Long time ago. Doggy Chow. I used to love Doggy Chow.

Bye darlin.

(So a promise is a promise. Keep your eye out for celebratory video. I will probably regret this, but…)

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44 Comments leave one →
  1. ine permalink
    December 27, 2009 11:08 pm

    karma is a bitch.

  2. deez permalink
    December 11, 2009 3:44 pm

    I’m not sure what to think about this…the Ben Savage part is lulzy, though:

    http://mjsbigblog.com/kris-allen-holiday-prophet.htm#comments

  3. erinnthered permalink
    December 11, 2009 1:02 am

    I totally missed this season. Should I bother with the finale? Is Russell’s Bollywood worth the time to see?

    Yeah, Kris haters crack me up. He’s getting so much better and more animated on stage. I bet he’ll be a great live act by the time he tours early next year.

    I’m confused. MJ didn’t like this one either, but he seems tighter and better than in any of his tv performances yet. At least that I’ve seen. I must be a bad ‘tard. She has seen him live now, so that must be informing it. The other, though? Puppy kickers.

    Did I miss Allison at the Jungle Ball thing? That part was free, right? I should try to make that…

  4. spinningfasterandfastertonowhere permalink
    December 10, 2009 4:51 am

    If Allison or Matt had won over Adam there is no doubt in my mind that they would’ve been raked over the coals by the Glamberts. Notice they seldom post anything negative in the Allison or Matt threads…if any.

    Imagine if Allison had won you would see things like this from some of those same Glamberts over at MJs;

    “I am getting concerned with Allison weight problem…am I the only one who noticed this? I know I have posted it in every thread but I worry about her”

    “Sorry but the red hair makes her face look more round…and she is definitely copying Adam, but she could never touch his grandness”

    “I listened to all of Allison’s songs on her cd, but sorry I am not liking any of them, not one, not even the cd cover interests me…sorry, Maybe on her next cd…if she gets the chance to make another one…I MIGHT buy it, maybe”.

    “I am so concerned with Allison’s SINKING cd sales…I have been tossing and turning and haven’t had a wink of sleep over it.”

    “Allison’s voice is getting horse, does she smoke? Plus she does TERRIBLE interviews”

    “I don’t like her new song it makes her appear WAY TOO YOUNG…in an old way. I don’t know I just can’t place my finger on it.”

    followed by another Glambert “Oh, yeah —– I totally agree with you”.

    “I heard Allison is now TRYING to play the guitar, that is why I liked 3 place winner Kris Allen, now HE played a guitar and was a real musician…and when he sang he touched you…sorry but Allison is not doing that for me, meh”.

    “She is trying to hard to be like Adam and there is only one Adam”.

    “If Kris had won instead of Adam I would’ve been so happy with it, but Allison…no thanks.”

    followed by another Glambert “Oh, yeah —– plus Kris had a personalty. I agree with Simon, Allison can’t talk and is just soooo booooring”.

    lol..and I love Allison, but I could just imagine the same Glamberts saying something like this if she had beaten Adam. They are really transparent.

    • jonoave permalink
      December 10, 2009 5:54 am

      Lol, I totally agree! Those comments just have concern trolls/Glamberts written all over it. Don’t forget if Matt wins, it’ll probably be:

      “I like Matt, but he always sounds the same. And I think he should do something about the mole, it is very distracting. JMO.”

      “Matt is a good piano player, but I find his singing boring. But of course some people might like it. IMO”.

      *insert eye roll*

    • deez permalink
      December 10, 2009 10:02 am

      Lol. I didn’t follow the goings-on last year, but I imagine the same comments were rampant.
      (Copy, paste, insert name!)

    • TopIdol permalink
      December 10, 2009 11:39 am

      I’ve seen that girl up close and she is TINY. I think its just that she is still rather youthful in the face that people think she is “chubby”. In actuality, it couldn’t be further from the truth. She is a tiny, tiny thing and very, very pretty.

      • deez permalink
        December 10, 2009 2:33 pm

        Photographs are a funny thing. I had a friend in college who was absolutely gorgeous. She got stopped in a Dept Store and given a card by an agent one time (yeah, I know… sounds corny) but she went in and had photographs and cards made up. I asked why she wasn’t working as a model, and she told me she couldn’t do runway b/c they always wanted the taller girls (she’s 5’7″) and nobody ever wanted her b/c she was too “round” (and her boobs weren’t fake, so that probably confused them). I almost threw up. She weighed 118 lbs and wore a sz 2. In person, she looked like an elf! She’s so small boned and petite, but she showed me her photo album; and in the photos, she appeared MUCH larger. I guess she could’ve worked if she wanted to lose 15 lbs, but she would’ve looked like a broomstick in person. A shame really, she had a very unique look.

        It kind of pisses me off when these cows start in on these girls’ weight…like Kelly and Jordin Sparks…both pretty girls. In person, they both are probably average sized. I don’t think La Princesa looks fat at all, although I’ve heard her weight mentioned. I was struck by the change in Carrie during her special. You could see the difference in the old shots with Bo, and the new ones. She looks like a lollipop now, I’m sure some moron told her she was fat.

        • Acrobat permalink
          December 10, 2009 8:10 pm

          I remember reading an article (TV Guide, maybe?) during Carrie’s season, and she mentioned seeing people on message boards calling her fat.

          She was a size 6.

    • auntieaimee permalink
      December 10, 2009 8:37 pm

      I see plenty of criticism about Allison. Usually it’s for her “manic” performance style, her hair, her clothes, etc. I suppose they can’t criticize her vocals, ’cause they’re always spot on. The performance style thing really chaps my hide, though. She’s a natural performer. Nothing’s choreographed or phony. I love the stomping around, the flapping hands. It’s all very Allison. She’s exciting to watch, imo.

      • deez permalink
        December 11, 2009 12:48 am

        I love that quality about her as well. I’m sure the PTB will put her on a diet and turn her into a Stepford performer. (or at least they may try,but I think she may have a more forceful personality than the teen queens they’re used to)

    • blacklisted permalink
      December 11, 2009 10:23 am

      “The performance style thing really chaps my hide, though. She’s a natural performer. Nothing’s choreographed or phony.”

      They hate her because she’s uber-talented AND genuine. Since these dumb bitches wouldn’t know genuine if it bit them in their fat hides, it upsets them to see someone like her succeed. Allison’s is real and has a natural stage presence, unlike some other performers.

      BTW the fact that some were pissy at Allison for accepting the Kimmel gig is even further proof that these cows live in an alternative universe.

      I’m certain that in the future, Allison will be HUGE. Maybe not now, maybe not with Jive, but she’ll come into her own and it will be glorious.

      In terms of Kris, he is so nonchalant about this junk that I mostly find their ‘concern’ or outright disdain for him to be amusing. The obsessiveness of some of these anti-Kris trolls (see sweetandsour/SourSilenceStix) is a psychological breakdown ready to happen.

      • TopIdol permalink
        December 11, 2009 10:51 am

        I do find their “concern” amusing.

        I guess one of the sparkle cows is also planning on writing a tell-all book on how HBD fans CHEATED the system. Oh yes. I assume she is planning on self-publishing this shit since uh, how else would it get printed.

        • deez permalink
          December 11, 2009 1:15 pm

          A tell-all book? HAHAHAHA. What’s her source? The Adam forum @ IDF? Seriously Glamberts, give it up. It’s over. Adam is fine. He does NOT need this foolishness. There was NO cheating. EVERYBODY’S fans used the exact same tactics. Kris is from the SOUTH. The South always wins these things, plus when DWD went down it’s unlikely that his fans would vote for Adam. There was no vast AT&T conspiracy, they have better things to do than care about who wins AI. Not everyone is a homophobe-hater…to tell the truth, most people do NOT CARE about this shit!

      • Nich permalink
        December 11, 2009 12:17 pm

        Thank you! I knew SourSilenceStix was sweetandsour. Did she get banned or something?

        • Claire permalink
          December 11, 2009 1:26 pm

          Is sweet and sour also CoconutGhost?

          • TopIdol permalink
            December 11, 2009 4:07 pm

            What is this woman’s obsession with candy-coated names? Does the freak work in a Mr. Bulky’s or something?

        • Isidra permalink
          December 11, 2009 1:51 pm

          I actually thought at first that SourSilenceStix or whatever her name is was a really clever parody. She’s gotten really over the top with her stupidity (like bitching about Kris’s 140 character long twitters) otherwise.

          Adam’s poor* sales must be driving her through the roof.

          (*I know Kris’s are worse, but Kris was never projected as some kind of rock god)

          • Claire permalink
            December 11, 2009 2:13 pm

            Yeah, I thought so too since all of those names were her previous names that got banned (sweet and sour, Silencefound, Discostix).

          • Nich permalink
            December 11, 2009 4:10 pm

            That’s how I figured she was sweetandsour b/c sweetandsour kept bitching about Kris’s tweets. She should try reading Kevin Smith’s tweets. Most of them are about promoting his movies or speaking gigs but a LOT of them is about graphic comments about his sex life with his wife.

            • TopIdol permalink
              December 11, 2009 4:52 pm

              You know who is one of my favorites? Thomas Lennon (aka Lt. Dangle from Reno 911). His tweets are incredible.

  5. Isidra permalink
    December 10, 2009 2:40 am

    I was sad to lose Legacy. He still entertained me most of all the male dancers, but I get why it was time to go. (Stupid alien routine!)

    Now I’m cheering for either Russell or one of the ballroom duo to take it.

  6. ljr permalink
    December 10, 2009 1:39 am

    Well, I prefer David Cook’s band to Kris Allen’s, (both in looks and sound) but to each their own. Love your recap.

  7. deez permalink
    December 10, 2009 12:39 am

    Actually, I find it incomprehensible how anyone could ever HATE this guy???

    I found some…*drumroll*….and the answer is: Glamberts commenting on the results show @ MJ’s:

    “alaadam
    12/09/2009 at 8:54 pm
    I hope its Ryan too. Ok Was that a good performance by Kris.?I don’t watch him much and trying to be objective-but did not think it was good.”

    “rockchick
    12/09/2009 at 8:53 pm
    Meh. That was an ok performance. Kris seemed terrified? or bored? Or maybe that was me ”

    “season8fan
    12/09/2009 at 8:53 pm
    Is it weird that FOX has Adam on the Finale and Kris on first? Are we forgetting who won American Idol? Poor Kris, it’s like he was forgotten as soon as the season was over”

    “Buderschnookie
    12/09/2009 at 8:56 pm
    Kris just did a marvelously mediocre job.
    Ugh.”

    “terps
    12/09/2009 at 8:48 pm
    I’m sorry, but I still don’t get all the fuss about Kris”

    There were also a few concern trolls with the typical…”I like Kris, but he just sounded soooo tired.” (or strained, or sick, whatever adjective they could come up with that makes you think “bad” in an unintentional intentional way)

    • TopIdol permalink
      December 10, 2009 12:40 am

      Buderschnookie??

      • 12cubed permalink
        December 10, 2009 12:06 pm

        Buderschnookie??

        One of the craziest Glamberts of all. OMG, she’s hilarious (unintentionally so, of course.)

        • Claire permalink
          December 10, 2009 5:05 pm

          Isn’t Buderschnookie the one who posts on TWoP and AdamWithoutPity who ended up getting a wrist tat to match Adam’s?

          • Nich permalink
            December 10, 2009 5:20 pm

            “AdamWithoutPity”? Seriously??

            • Claire permalink
              December 10, 2009 5:28 pm

              No joke. I came across AWoP by mistake while doing a Google search. I never signed up for an account to access the site, but I read the cached pages occasionally for shits and giggles. It seems like they talk shit about Kris (at least based on the pages I read) more than they squee over Adam, which really doesn’t make much sense. If I cared enough about a singer to make a spinoff site/fanpage, I’d probably devote most, if not all, of my posts to that person, not someone who is supposedly mediocre and bores me to tears.

    • Nich permalink
      December 10, 2009 12:43 am

      I do love the “concerned” fans who have to continuously point out how “bad” things are for Kris. They are all over his TWoP thread. Every few weeks someone has to go “omg did you know that Kris’s song is just a cover? Isn’t that just sad.” Or the ones who express their concerns over Kris’s note for note cover of The Fray’s version of Heartless that somehow everyone and their mother heard for months before Idol though it was never played on any rock stations I listen to.

      • deez permalink
        December 10, 2009 1:15 am

        Lol. There is also ALWAYS someone who has to point out that he’s going bald in every thread.

        (A fact which might be pertinent in a Rogaine blog)

      • Claire permalink
        December 10, 2009 5:21 pm

        Nich, you forgot these classics:

        OMG did you know HBD wasn’t invited to perform at the AMAs? He wasn’t even invited to the This Is It premiere. Did you know Danny is working with Mark Bright, the bestest producer evah!!eleventy!!! Mark’s worked with CARRIE FREAKING UNDERWOOD! Kris doesn’t have the privilege of working with him. His debut is the lowest debut EVER! Jive can’t be thrilled with this…bla bla bla

        Now imagine this times 10 (not really an exaggeration), and that’s pretty much what his thread looks like.

    • Isidra permalink
      December 10, 2009 2:39 am

      …how can he sound “terrified or bored” as that one twitterer said? Aren’t those emotions on the completely opposite end of the spectrum?

      • deez permalink
        December 10, 2009 2:46 am

        But THAT doesn’t matter! As long as it is derogatory, why should it make sense? It cracks me up…a couple of these people never fail to comment in Kris threads, yet they claim they rarely listen to him, or pay any attention to him, lol.

      • TopIdol permalink
        December 10, 2009 11:22 am

        I didn’t quite understand the “terrified or bored” observations, either. But perhaps in the minds of a true sparkle cow, you appear to be terrified or bored on stage if you don’t simulate oral sex or fingerbanging.

    • spinningfasterandfastertonowhere permalink
      December 10, 2009 3:41 am

      Oh they pay attention.

      They have the “Harriet Olsen” syndrome…lol Remember her? Kris appears to be one of the nicest guys and a talented singer/musician, even from Adam’s own mouth, but “Harriet Olsen” could find the worst in anything Laura Ingles did…lol

    • Burgundy LaRue permalink
      December 10, 2009 10:52 am

      I’ve got to stop going over to that site for a while. MJ runs a good blog and based on her messages, seems cool. But the Glambert SparkleCow Herd is killing me gently like a razor blade to the throat. Heaven forbid that someone points out that Adam hasn’t quite lived up to all the hype he had coming out of Idol and that he better hope WWFM does really well on radio for his album to keep selling. Yeah, I know Adam has outsold Kris, but Kris wasn’t hoisted on a glittery stamen as music’s new Bird of Paradise. Based of perception, Adam is doing OK, but not great. But don’t tell the GSCH that!

      Yeesh, let me stop. Because those moo-moos ain’t worth the trouble.

      • TopIdol permalink
        December 10, 2009 3:38 pm

        Kris’ single was #33 on itunes this morning. Lambert’s 2 singles were at #133 and #157, I think. Obviously, there was a push from SYTYCD last night, but I believe it may be getting more airplay.

        • Burgundy LaRue permalink
          December 10, 2009 4:33 pm

          Definitely. I heard LLWD three times yesterday. The only time I hear WWFM is during OHP on the weekends. My radio stations could be playing it, but I’ve yet to hear it.

      • spinningfasterandfastertonowhere permalink
        December 11, 2009 1:48 am

        They are the Moofia…lol

    • auntieaimee permalink
      December 10, 2009 12:25 pm

      Jellus h8ters!

  8. LeighKat permalink
    December 10, 2009 12:09 am

    ooooh! look: http://www.officiallycatdeeley.com/

  9. LeighKat permalink
    December 10, 2009 12:07 am

    Does Cat twitter?

  10. Tanya permalink
    December 9, 2009 11:52 pm

    I also really really really want Cat’s dress! Love your blog.

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