Reunited and it feels so guido: Kris Allen, Adam Lambert and Allison Iraheta at the Jingle Ball
Friday evening’s Jingle Ball at Madison Square Garden extravaganza reunited Kris Allen, Adam Lambert and Allison Iraheta. Past Idol contestants who showed up were Jordin Sparks and Syesha Mercado (Coretta!). Yawn.
HBD and Sparks only got to sing 10 minutes because people would rather hear John Mayer and his asshat heir apparent, The Moppet of Beelzebub Justin Bieber. But Jordin Sparks sang No Air with The Moppet of Beelzebub, which is all sorts of bizarre and disturbing, as well as being a regular thing at these Jingle Balls. OMG. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?? Why is Jordin Sparks singing a love song with a 9-year-old, and more importantly, how the hell did this 9-year-old ever get a recording contract? (Oh yeah, and Taylor Swift closed the show. Taylor Swift is very big right now. Perhaps you have heard of her.)
YOU MUST SUFFER THROUGH THIS VIDEO BECAUSE I DID AND IT STILL HURTS
If I see The Moppet of Beelzebub tousle his hair all “nonchalantly” one more time, I will hurt someone. This arrogant little bastard child makes me long for the days of Kris Kross and Lil Bow Wow and frankly, that’s just not okay.
Lambert and La Princesa del Mariachi were just there to introduce people, or host…emcee, per se. Couldn’t they have given them at least one song each? Or even a little Slow Ride? There were other people there, too, but the majority were inconsequential, including blatant Postal Service-ripoff Owl City.
People have been gushing over the show all night but frankly, I would have been fine with just hanging out backstage. Not only could you get H&M gift certificates and Droids and who knows what other insane swag, but you could also play with oh-so-many toys and chew gum and pose with giant boxes of Nerds. It would only have been more awesome if all my favorite guidos and guidettes from Jersey Shore had been in attendance.
Clearly HBD wants to be a guido. He wants to go to the gym with The Situation!
And doing his best guido face–or Walking VD Greasy Constantine Maroulis impression? Hee hee hee.
I haven’t seen any photos of Kradam or the Three Musketeers yet (er, Kradison?), so I assume there will be conspiracy theories everywhere by 2am EST. All the photos were pretty damn good. I especially loved HBD making the Barbie dolls fight. And then make up.
And the Nerds photo. And La Princesa with the Poppit-ish toy. And La Princesa with the Nerds. And HBD doing more Jersey Shore faces. They’re both so animated. Lambert needs to take more “funny” photos. I want him to embrace his inner guido.