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For Your Gestation II: Adam Lambert Embryo Ornament–Now with the Star of David!

December 14, 2009

Upon seeing the Adam Lambert Embryo Christmas Ornament, some of you (myself included) thought, well, why is the Not-Quite-Yet-a-Fetus Lambert celebrating Xmas when we all know he’s a Jew? And what about the Jewish Glamberts who do not put up trees (Hey, most of my Jewish friends still put up trees. Because everyone likes Xmas trees. I think Xmas trees can be secular, given that they don’t have anything to do with a manger or immaculate conception or anything. They’re trees.), or maybe they do put up trees, but are not really into putting up a CHRISTMAS ornament.

Look no further! Feti has now created the Adam Lambert Embryo with the Star of David. Hurry and order one now before they run out! If you get rushed shipping, you may be able to spin the dreidel and light the menorah with your Not-Quite-Yet-a-Fetus Lambert the conclusion of the Festival of Lights.

A little Adam Rockstar in the making, this little fetus will entertain everyone! Adam is Jewish, so here he is holding a tiny little Star of David. Happy Hanukkah!

Little Adam is about 1.5″ long including his crazy hair. Comes with a red ribbon.

Feti is just for fun, no political statements being made here.

How many times have you seen “Baby’s First ____” gifts?

Feti is a step ahead with special gifts for the expectant mom or dad.

And even if you’re not Jewish, so what? You can just tell your friends that even when in the womb, Not-Quite-Yet-a-Fetus Lambert was still reaching for the stars.

(Thanks to Burgundy LaRue for the link)

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50 Comments leave one →
  1. mz spears permalink
    December 15, 2009 11:39 pm

    how do we no this fetus is going to be adam?

  2. sosad permalink
    December 15, 2009 5:54 pm

    What the frick?
    And they’re sold out.

  3. freedavidcook permalink
    December 15, 2009 8:31 am

    I have mind warping drugs, bed rest, a sketch pad and colored pencils, I have to design even more ridiculous Adam crap today.

    • deez permalink
      December 15, 2009 12:50 pm

      Please post them here! Chia cows? Lambert feminine products? Lambert Laundry detergent? (gets your clothes sparklecow clean!!)

      See…I’m TRYING to think of weird things, and I can’t even touch the embryo thingy!!! I think the drugs will be necessary to this process!

      • Mithra permalink
        December 15, 2009 2:11 pm

        They’ve already discussed Glamberdildos. I haven’t SEEN one yet. Not sure I want to…oh hell…yeah I do πŸ˜€ I think one of those as a kit with exchangable heads with all of the fab hairstyles they tard about. Like, there would be the Elvis hair, the Emo/Pete Wentz hair, the Big Boy hair, the Heatmiser, etc…

        How about homemade Glampasta? PastaBaby would be sure to buy this. Glambert toilet brush scrubber? With the spikey hair? Glambert sandpaper for those woodshop projects. Hubby would LOVE that!

        • TopIdol permalink
          December 15, 2009 6:11 pm

          You shouldn’t stick glitter down there. Can cause chafing or infection.

      • freedavidcook permalink
        December 16, 2009 7:29 pm

        And they are up from my sick mind to your nightmares http://freedavidcook.wordpress.com/2009/12/16/lamebert-gifts-ho-ho-ho/

        • deez permalink
          December 16, 2009 7:46 pm

          Lol. This is my favorite:

          Time For Miracles Combination Makeup Applicator/Vibrator

          I’m afraid you’ve opened a Pandora’s box here, I expect to see these on Ebay shortly BOGO’ed with the infamous shower curtain.

  4. spinningfasterandfastertonowhere permalink
    December 15, 2009 7:23 am

    uhmm, I hate to spoil that person’s little Lambert embryo, but wouldn’t it have ginger RED hair, tiny freckles, blue eyes and be a little more on pale side?

    πŸ™‚

    I mean if it is an Adam Lambert embryo.

  5. erinnthered permalink
    December 15, 2009 2:09 am

    I found something more creepy than the Adam ornaments. For those who haven’t looked at her shop, you might want to brace yourselves.

    Dear God Why?!

    Why am I not surprised she’s based out of Austin?

    • deez permalink
      December 15, 2009 2:32 am

      UUGGGHHHH!

      I suppose someone finds these things cute.
      Yes. I want to hang embryos on my Xmas Tree…Not political my ass.
      Tacky, tasteless, and I need an eyewash.

  6. blacklisted permalink
    December 15, 2009 1:27 am

    Oh lord.

  7. Sherena permalink
    December 14, 2009 11:01 pm

    If that’s actually selling then there’s something wrong with the world. MY EYES 😦

  8. kelanie permalink
    December 14, 2009 9:48 pm

    Well I’m sure the Glamberts have caused that thing to sell out. If they can buy multiple copies of the album, they certainly can buy that: http://img300.imageshack.us/img300/481/sparklescows2.jpg

  9. 8sourcandy permalink
    December 14, 2009 8:05 pm

    I think she would make more money replicating the Glam-thingy. It sort of looks like it. Of course, it should be longer than 1.5 inches.

    • Mithra permalink
      December 14, 2009 8:16 pm

      It sort of looks like it.

      No wonder he screeches so much. Ouch.

    • Sherena permalink
      December 14, 2009 11:06 pm

      ummmmm

  10. 12cubed permalink
    December 14, 2009 7:52 pm

    Oh my god. Please tell me this is a joke. Please…*whimper*

  11. December 14, 2009 7:49 pm

    This is embarrassing.
    And ironic.
    And stupid.
    And just. weird. *sigh*

    • Sherena permalink
      December 14, 2009 11:00 pm

      Ironic?

      • spinningfasterandfastertonowhere permalink
        December 15, 2009 10:05 am

        You know ironic because the embryo is holding a little Star of David and it is a Christmas ornament.

        Now if it was an embryo shaped dreidel it would not be ironic.

  12. December 14, 2009 7:17 pm

    I think there should be a Feti for every occasion. What about a “Happy 50th Wedding Anniversary” Feti for the over-70 Glambert crowd? Also, wouldn’t a Feti holding an apple make a nice teacher’s gift?

    • deez permalink
      December 14, 2009 7:50 pm

      I think everyone should have a version. The Gokey one would have glasses, a vest, and could be making heart hands, err….flippers.

      (The frontal view of thing is even more creepy than the profile)

      • lauren722 permalink
        December 14, 2009 7:52 pm

        Allison’s can have red hair and Kris’ can wear a plaid shirt! Oh and Matt’s would have a mole. Quatto!

      • TopIdol permalink
        December 14, 2009 8:26 pm

        Only if the umbiblical cord is twisted into a heart shape. That would be PERFECT.

        • deez permalink
          December 14, 2009 8:47 pm

          “umbiblical” LOL!

          • TopIdol permalink
            December 14, 2009 8:48 pm

            Hey! I was in a hurry!

            • deez permalink
              December 14, 2009 8:51 pm

              Hey for Gokey, it’s perfect!!

    • auntieaimee permalink
      December 14, 2009 7:56 pm

      Feti earrings would be the next logical step. Or a Feti pendant.

      • 8sourcandy permalink
        December 14, 2009 8:06 pm

        I’m going with belt buckle.

  13. Mithra permalink
    December 14, 2009 6:55 pm

    I want to see this go further. How about a Mormon Adam fetus wearing magic underpants?

    I found another fine example of his uberfans finding people randomly discussing his RAWK GODNESS. I bet this woman bought an Adam Embryo Ornament and has it placed proudly in the front of her tree. Funny how they always stumble upon these situations… :

    This is soooo true, at my Christmas party they were talking about this and Adam – one of the guys worked at YPG – he work with missiles,launches, test bombs, etc and He said a bunch of the guys he work with were talking about him and he said Who IS Adam Lambert, that is all I hear lately and they said he is this guy with a killer voice who is going to be a legend, seriously – all these roughnecks were discussing the merits of Adam Lambert. My husband got back to the table and rolled his eyes and laughed at me, he couldnt believe the conversation was about him again – but – it was fun. I brought along my Adam cd and got to hear it loudly in surround sound and got my work dancing to him!! Left the hotel the next morning and turned on the radio and it was Whataya want from me, nice ending to a very good party!

    • TopIdol permalink
      December 14, 2009 8:25 pm

      That woman sounds just like Judyes, a legendary Constantine Maroulis frau. Everywhere she goes, she meets people singing the praises of “Greekboy”. And she is always street teaming, dropping fliers off, playing his CD, you name it. Reminds me of Judyes. Loves it.

      https://topidol.wordpress.com/2008/07/25/more-confan-delusions-part-2/

      • Mithra permalink
        December 14, 2009 9:24 pm

        Hahaha – I remember that post! Too funny. That poor bird.

        Come on, you know that a bunch of “roughneck” guys were sitting around squeeing about Adam…

        • lauren722 permalink
          December 14, 2009 10:29 pm

          I know, seriously. The last time I had a conversation about Adam that I didn’t start, was with another 16 year old girl who is also really into the whole fandom thing. “Roughnecks” don’t talk about Adam, unless of course they are ridiculing him 😦

        • December 15, 2009 9:07 am

          LOL! So cynical… πŸ™‚

  14. Nich permalink
    December 14, 2009 6:51 pm

    OMG why won’t it stop!

  15. Smartie permalink
    December 14, 2009 6:40 pm

    I wonder what she’ll make for Kwanzaa.

    • erinnthered permalink
      December 15, 2009 1:47 am

      I can’t believe she didn’t try to capitalize on Eid or Diwali. I’m sure Asian Adam fans would like to be horrified too.

      Maybe she’ll do an Adam embryo holding a tiger for the Chinese New Year?

  16. lauren722 permalink
    December 14, 2009 6:33 pm

    Ok, even I am not crazy enough to buy that! And TI, REAL Jews do not put up Christmas trees. It’s as ridiculous as those Christians who have huge 13th birthday parties because they are jealous of B’nei-Mitzvahs. Haha!

    • TopIdol permalink
      December 14, 2009 6:45 pm

      I know, I know. But a lot do! My high school was over 60% Jewish. A girl on my flag squad was the INTERNATIONAL president of BBYO. I always wondered why no one made a good nickname for my high school (Parkway Central). Only a few years later did I find out other schools called us Parkway Yentl. I’m still so pissed I did not think of that!

      Please don’t tell me there are Christian children being faux-Mitzvahed now. Speaking of, I figured out the way one can really clean up if they are born into considerable wealth — If you’re mother is a Jewban (or just Jewish, but I’m thinking geography may help out with this theory, and Jewish Cubans are populous in some areas, particularly Miami) and your father is a Hispanic Catholic. And you guys have money. Boom. You’re set. B’nei Mitzvah at 13. Quincenera at 15. Sweet 16 party b/c all your rich friends do it at 16.

      • lauren722 permalink
        December 14, 2009 6:49 pm

        Parkway Yentl! LOL! I go to Mount Heroin so errr…yeah. My school’s actual name is Mount Hebron.
        Yup, rich snobby Christian’s get jealous of their Jewish friend’s “big party” and they decide they need one too. Haha that would be awesome! All those parties!

        • TopIdol permalink
          December 14, 2009 6:52 pm

          At least the way I figured it out actually uses years and years of tradition as a way to get a shitload of gifts rather than making no pretense for straight up greed.

          Don’t those little Christian girls also have those damned Purity Parties now, too? It’s like a father-daughter dance…but icky.

          • lauren722 permalink
            December 14, 2009 6:56 pm

            Haha!

            They have Purity Parties???? I mean I know about the rings, but THEY HAVE PARTIES?!? Haha, I’m just imagining if a Purity Party got too wild…whoops! I went to father-daughter dances when I was like 7. My dad has been insulted that I have refused to go for the past 9 years.

            • December 15, 2009 8:35 am

              “Haha, I’m just imagining if a Purity Party got too wild…whoops!” Pure genius Lauren! πŸ™‚

      • 8sourcandy permalink
        December 14, 2009 7:02 pm

        LOL!

      • erinnthered permalink
        December 15, 2009 1:35 am

        We had between a 55% and 40% Jewish population at my high school. It dwindled a bit by senior year, but it was always high. Used to say we had two extra holidays because there weren’t enough students or teachers do anything on Rosh Hoshannah and Yom Kippur. I don’t recall faux Mitzvahs, but I’m sure something like that happened. Like me (Baha’i), they all did the trees when they were kids to fit in, and grew out of it by high school. Except the Isreali and Ethiopian Jews. They thought it was all silly.

        No cool nicks for Bellaire, though. Just “the hippie school.”

        Maybe it’s because there weren’t enough Christian kids to care. I mean, the Christian Student Union at my school never had more than 30 or 40 members, and most of them were pretty granola. Yeah, hippie school.

  17. auntieaimee permalink
    December 14, 2009 6:30 pm

    It does look like an alien. Actually, it looks like “the” Alien that busted out of John Hurt’s stomach back in the day. Ugh.

  18. Smartie permalink
    December 14, 2009 6:27 pm

    Please send this to http://www.regretsy.com

    • erinnthered permalink
      December 15, 2009 1:17 am

      Done! πŸ˜‰

  19. December 14, 2009 6:24 pm

    Singing fetus from Quebec >>>>>>>> Fetus Madam

    Seriously, how do people come up with this shit?

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