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The First Annual Top Idol These Mean Nothing Awards

December 21, 2009

Suggested by one of the few resident Glamberts who admit to reading this blog, this year will mark the first-ever meaningless, worthless arbitrary year-end poll. Presenting…the 2009 Top Idol These Mean Nothing Awards.

The winners will receive nothing, nor will they ever put it on a resume. This is simply for our own amusement. Or mine. It’s up to YOU to decide. So send me some suggestions. I’ve got a few cooking, but bring em’ on. Don’t limit them to Idol. This can be about ANYTHING! And then I’ll post the questions for YOUR vote.

(Obviously, we will include a few categories which will attract some rabid fantards, because if there is one thing Idol fantards love more than a patission, its an ONLINE POLL!!!!!)

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265 Comments leave one →
  1. 8sourcandy permalink
    December 28, 2009 12:05 am

    Best Idol Audition of Season 8

    http://tinypic.com/player.php?v=1zv8mx5&s=5&hid=5&tag=adam+lambert

  2. 8sourcandy permalink
    December 28, 2009 12:00 am

    Best Audition

    http://tinypic.com/player.php?v=1zv8mx5&s=5&hid=5&tag=adam+lambert

  3. 8sourcandy permalink
    December 25, 2009 11:03 pm

    Best exploitation of a child to garner the attention of Adam Lambert EVER!!!
    http://www.youtube.com/user/shakethepoet1#p/c/2813D281D42CCB40

    • 8sourcandy permalink
      December 26, 2009 8:39 am

      wait a minute…

      • 8sourcandy permalink
        December 26, 2009 8:52 am

        That’s better.

        This kid has all the moves down,watch him work it. Who knew you could train them like this. Of course, I was expecting him to ram his crotch into the snowman’s face, but I guess that choreography is for when he performs FYE.

  4. cinemaniac86 permalink
    December 24, 2009 10:57 am

    I was just thinking….This “cube” sorta gives new meaning to certain lyrics. I think that now Kara definitely wrote it with Kradam in mind:

    You can go higher/You can go deeper

    Ah, it’s all coming together now….

    • Lauren permalink
      December 24, 2009 12:07 pm

      “Seconds, hours, so many days. You know what you want, but how long can you wait?”

      “To get to that one thing.”

      “I risked being safe but I always knew why…” xD

      You can twist almost every line into a Kradam sex joke.

  5. Mithra permalink
    December 24, 2009 9:45 am

    Or…best Idol related commercial 😀 :

    • erinnthered permalink
      December 24, 2009 10:09 pm

      You know a fan cooked up the idea for this booking. Just awesome.

      Wasn’t there video of him calling numbers somewhere?

      He should have an honorary award named for his skeezyness. Gokey is a shoe-in for this year.

      • erinnthered permalink
        December 24, 2009 10:11 pm

        Oh, and Harold Lloyd is awesome!

        I miss Stage 6. They had some great Public Domain silent shorts and docs. 😦

        • deez permalink
          December 25, 2009 1:37 am

          I got the Harold Lloyd boxset last Xmas, it is great. I’m totally in love with him (except for the fact that he’s been dead for like 40 years.)

          I used to laugh my ass off at “The Little Rascals” and “Our Gang”, when I was a kid (and yes Lauren, I saw them as RE-RUNS!!!!)…for some reason you never see those anymore. Maybe kids are too sophisticated for the “He-Man Woman Haters Club” these days?

          • erinnthered permalink
            December 25, 2009 3:10 am

            I was never a Little Rascals/ Our Gang fan. For some reason I only like precocious kids when Joss Whedon does them. I do love classic TV, though. A lot of people are rediscovering them on the ‘net. YT has a lot of good stuff, and other sites are adding to their collections too. Stage 6 was the best, though. An amazing resource just lost.

            I think it may be a combination of a fear of those strange things that aren’t in color, and the switch to HD. Lots of older shows have gone by the wayside. It’s sad. Thankfully, TCM still runs classic movies. That’s something.

            • Lauren permalink
              December 25, 2009 11:39 am

              Kids are annoying. Joss Whedon is a genius! I am in love with everything he does. *Cries over Dollhouse ending*
              So what is everyone’s favorite Joss Whedon show? Mine is Buffy 😀

            • erinnthered permalink
              December 25, 2009 7:29 pm

              Angel. I love the darker tone. Kind of excited about Spartacus, even though I know it’ll be crap, at least it’ll be shiny crap. Steven DeKnight is the showrunner.

              It’s amazing how many showrunners out there started under Whedon. Fury at Lost and 24, Espenson at BSG and now Warehouse 13, Petrie at CSI and Pushing Daisies, Noxon at Private Practice (and assisting at Mad Men), DeKnight at Spartacus, Jeffrey Bell at V, Shawn Ryan of Shield and Lie to Me fame even got started under Whedon. They’ve even taken along a lot of the other writing staff. Whedon teaches people to take care of their own, and reward good writing. That’s why he keeps getting chances. Pretty cool, really.

              • TopIdol permalink
                December 25, 2009 8:58 pm

                You…you…you followed BSG?? 🙂 🙂 🙂

                • erinnthered permalink
                  December 25, 2009 11:07 pm

                  Who, me? I started to, but now I’m having to catch up on the last few seasons.

                  I had a tough time hit right after the first season, and I had to let a lot of TV shows go, only to work on catching up this past year. I love it, but it takes time. I know several of my rl friends will be much happier with me once I’m finished. Ditto with Lost and The Wire. I’ve been teased mercilessly for it too.

                  Maybe that would be a good palate cleanse for that mediocre episode of Doctor Who I just watched…

            • Lauren permalink
              December 25, 2009 8:21 pm

              I haven’t seen all of Angel, just various episodes when it has been on TV. I should look into that.
              Wow, I actually did not know all of that. Even more proof that Joss Whedon is a God.

  6. deez permalink
    December 23, 2009 3:10 pm

    After reading the tweet VD posted, and the weed discussion @ ONTD_AI, you kind of view these answers in a new light…He puts a LOT of thought into that sandwich. Maybe also explains his taste in TV shows. lol! WTF is the dinosaur show he’s talking about? (the noise he makes for it is funny though) He also claims to not work out (c’mon Kris)…I was Played was about a “friend” (uhuh)…the homeless guy refusing the eggplant was funny. (damn picky homeless people, lol)

    • margie permalink
      December 23, 2009 3:30 pm

      I remember that dinosaur show..cant remember the actual name of the show though. They had a band..i think. I literally snorted when he did the baby dino voice. He is so funny.

      • auntieaimee permalink
        December 23, 2009 4:58 pm

        Ohhhh, I think I remember that show. It had a Dinosaur family and they sort of acted like people? I don’t think it even lasted a full season. That’s weird that it made such an impression on Kris. ‘Course he was probably 5 at the time.

        • December 23, 2009 6:03 pm

          yup dino family…i was atleast 7 or 8

          • deez permalink
            December 23, 2009 7:01 pm

            http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101081/

            Is it this?? After reading the comments, I remembered it. Crap! I barely remember seeing that, Kris would’ve been around 5…so you guys are right. Good memory I guess?

            • December 23, 2009 7:52 pm

              Deez..crap I was 6…I cannot believe I remember that show. baby dino “momma” quote is what triggered it for me. Hiding now

            • erinnthered permalink
              December 24, 2009 12:57 am

              Ha! That show was such a guilty pleasure for me. “Not the momma!” was one of those corny jokes my cousins used to make. I can’t believe he actually said that.

              I like his taste in sandwiches. I’m allergic to onions, so I appreciate his anti-onion stance. You can, however, have a mean Philly Cheese steak without them. It’s all about the bread, right?

            • cinemaniac86 permalink
              December 24, 2009 10:53 am

              OMG, LUCILLE BLUTH WAS ONE OF THE VOICES! EPIC WIN.

              “I’m the baby, you gotta love me!”

              I was 5, too :).

            • deez permalink
              December 24, 2009 11:31 am

              Damn, you guys were baby geniuses! I’m older than you, and I can hardly remember it at all! (What the hell was I doing then anyway? If it was on Fri or Sat night I may have an explanation 🙂 )

            • auntieaimee permalink
              December 24, 2009 12:13 pm

              I…was old enough to not want to hang out on a Friday night watching that crap.

            • Lauren permalink
              December 24, 2009 12:24 pm

              So I wasn’t born yet. That might be why I have no clue what you guys are talking about xD

            • deez permalink
              December 24, 2009 1:08 pm

              OK THEN LAUREN!!! RUB IT IN!!! Oh crap! It’s time for my Geritol and nap *walks away waving cane*

            • Lauren permalink
              December 24, 2009 1:33 pm

              Pahahaha. Oops! Put that thing down! I don’t want you to fall over and break your hip Deez!

            • deez permalink
              December 24, 2009 2:34 pm

              Curses! Foiled again! Now, I’m going to outwit you with things the kids used to say back in my day!! Mairzey Doats! Twenty Three-Skidoo! Hubba-Hubba! Ish Kabibble! And How! Yes, We Have No Bananas!

              (I actually have no idea what most of that means, but I used to watch “Our Gang” and “Harold Lloyd” shorts on local PBS!!!!)

            • Lauren permalink
              December 24, 2009 2:40 pm

              …So that’s what they said back then? No wonder it always seems as if my parents are speaking a different language! Actually, I’m just currently assuming you’ve gone senile 😀
              *Hands Deez a banana and pats on head*

  7. cinemaniac86 permalink
    December 23, 2009 2:44 pm

    ATTN: When attending the Quattos, everyone must wear faux moles.

    If not, Oskar will bounce your ass out.

  8. Mithra permalink
    December 23, 2009 8:31 am

    Q3 is a lot like hollygo72 aka snuffles twin. Hollygo is a LA cube slave in the entertainment field and has IMDBPro (which ANYONE can get for something like $19.95 a year if they want it/need it). Haven’t seen her much on MJs once more vocal sparkle cows took over since she’s not queen bee – she’s back to ruling the Adam thread on IDF. She posts stats and acts like some industry insider to try to cozy up to family and friends of whomever she’s tarding over. She is desperate to be on a TEAM. First Clay, then Sanjaya, now Adam. Maybe there should be a category for most annoying multitard, or most annoying self proclaimed “industry insider”…

    The clip I posted of Blake above leads to another suggestion. Most deluded by the AI machine/bubble, and biggest downfall. I suspect 19Evil will try to save face by shoving so much payola at Adam’s career that he’s not going to crash and burn like Blake. He’s more like Jorbacca 2.0. Will end up with costly middling success for a while until they tire of him. Kris unfortunately seems to be headed for Taylor Hicks treatment… he’ll be punished for beating out their plant.

  9. cinemaniac86 permalink
    December 23, 2009 4:55 am

    Best response following Danny Gokey’s “untimely” elimination, via vienna_sausages on LJ:

    JESUS TOOK THE WHEEL.

    *Dead from lulz*

    • Lauren permalink
      December 23, 2009 12:01 pm

      Pahahahaha. I would never be able to think of something that witty in a hundred years!

  10. cinemaniac86 permalink
    December 23, 2009 4:40 am

    8sourcandy, that promotional poster is pure win.

    • cinemaniac86 permalink
      December 23, 2009 4:50 am

      Golding Matt’s head is a potential idea. The BAFTA Awards (British Oscars) are basically just a gold face:

      …Oh, my God, I can seriously see this being a row of Matts w/ Quattos.

      ♥ x 80394810808530.

      • 8sourcandy permalink
        December 23, 2009 5:48 am

        how’s this one? http://www.xoopit.com/s/20zyy9p6ymvla6eg4yt5

        • Lauren permalink
          December 23, 2009 12:00 pm

          That. Is. Awesome.
          *bows down to 8sourcandy*

        • 8sourcandy permalink
          December 23, 2009 12:13 pm

          It needs work. I will be away for a few days and will resume the project upon my return.

      • 8sourcandy permalink
        December 23, 2009 5:57 am

        I tried it, but all the heads distracted from his little mole. I think the one I just posted is the best compromise. I would not be insulted in the least, if someone else creates something better. I’m too tired to think.

  11. 8sourcandy permalink
    December 23, 2009 2:13 am

    let’s see if this works! http://www.xoopit.com/s/20zyy9p6ymvlalgt0xqm

    • Lauren permalink
      December 23, 2009 2:38 am

      Haha! Perfect!

    • deez permalink
      December 23, 2009 2:38 am

      That is awesome!!!!!! I’m assuming the statuette has an enormous mole on the forehead, no?

      • Lauren permalink
        December 23, 2009 2:41 am

        It would have to. I mean it is the Quatto after all!

      • 8sourcandy permalink
        December 23, 2009 3:01 am

        I am not sure yet how to capture the essence of a mole, but I am working on it.
        Do I include Matt’s head? Give the statue a mole? Does the mole need to resemble quatto/kuato?

        Halfway through that poster I realized this is tantamount to tard art!

        • deez permalink
          December 23, 2009 3:15 am

          NoNoNo…it’s ANTI-tard art 😉 !!

        • TopIdol permalink
          December 23, 2009 3:19 am

          SOUR, THAT IS AWESOME!!!!!

          Of course, we do need to figure out how to include the mole. Hmmm…with light emitting from the mole? And I especially love the host photo 😉

          • 8sourcandy permalink
            December 23, 2009 4:38 am

            I have an older version of photoshop on my laptop, so this is sort of the best I could do. I can swap the kuato for Matt’s actual mole, but, It really won’t be that noticeable. I know the fonts suck.

            http://www.xoopit.com/s/20zyy9p6ymvlalcvddd9

            • 8sourcandy permalink
              December 23, 2009 4:40 am

              I can just do a close up of Matt’s head… I don’t know, it requires some thought.

            • TopIdol permalink
              December 23, 2009 11:29 am

              The concept is BEAUTIFUL!!!

        • erinnthered permalink
          December 23, 2009 3:54 am

          You could overlay Matt’s forehead at the top and have the spotlight come out of the mole. Make it look like he’s peering in over the dome, and heal/clone out the other lights. You wouldn’t see his eyes, though. Just the forehead. hmmm….

          Maybe if you chop in a fedora on the Oscar statue’s head?

    • December 23, 2009 6:28 am

      Ha! Only just saw this – excellent work 8sour. I am all excited about this imaginary event 🙂

      • deez permalink
        December 23, 2009 12:24 pm

        What will we all wear to this SWANKY soiree?? Sashes and tiaras? Muumuus and caftans? Puffy paint shirts accessorized with signage? Plaid with faint traces of glitter, Glitter with faint traces of plaid?

        • Lauren permalink
          December 23, 2009 2:43 pm

          Glittery plaid puffy paint shirts! And tiaras! lol

  12. Verbally Dyslexic permalink
    December 22, 2009 10:50 pm

    So, um… while we’re on the subject of this mean nothing awards, does this fit into any award category?

    It seems that last summer this guy sent ontd_ai bonkers about something he saw in HBD’s bag at a Starbucks in NYC. There was a lot of speculation, and finally he’s revealed what it is.

    So TI, any clues what this is? From the speculation at ontd_ai, it could turn HBD’s good guy image on its head. A little.

    • TopIdol permalink
      December 22, 2009 11:06 pm

      I am now looking at this shit, for whatever reason and I must say you people have lost it.

      • Verbally Dyslexic permalink
        December 22, 2009 11:35 pm

        I’m not inclined to believe this guy. Again, he’s just as credible as the next person who claims to have bumped into some star. But don’t you just love rumours and speculations?

    • cinemaniac86 permalink
      December 22, 2009 11:23 pm

      Plastic cube? Is that some kind of terrorist symbol? Or is it perhaps an indication of drug paraphernalia?

      Btw, the person whom he replied to–GAYEST. WALLPAPER. EVER:

      http://twitter.com/abietic/status/6937829480

      Hint: Kradam. Rainbows. Lisa Frank.

      • Verbally Dyslexic permalink
        December 22, 2009 11:44 pm

        That really hurt my eyes!

        I think the guesses were weed or this:

        http://www.geekologie.com/2009/04/own_a_plastic_box_of_nyc_trash.php

        Weed won.

        • Claire permalink
          December 22, 2009 11:56 pm

          I need to quit my day job and start selling useless shit like cubes o’ trash. I’ll collect from LA 🙂

        • cinemaniac86 permalink
          December 22, 2009 11:59 pm

          LOL. I remember hearing about that. Seriously, I’ll be there tomorrow, and I’ll collect my Taco Bell wrapper, movie stubs, possible dandruff from the scummy douche next to me on the subway, and some genuine Penn Station toilet paper. And I’ll sell it to you for $8–BARGAIN!

          This shmuck just reeks of 24/7-Halo-playing-basement-dweller.

          • Verbally Dyslexic permalink
            December 23, 2009 12:18 am

            There’s a business opportunity here, you know.

            Throw in an empty bottle of nail polish, an extra large prophylactic (bonus points if its used!), and a used up coat throat teabag, and you have an Adam Lambert garbage souvenir! All for the very low price of $150. The Glamberts will be all over it. Time the sale for Fraumageddon II and you’re all set.

            • cinemaniac86 permalink
              December 23, 2009 12:24 am

              Genius! VD (hahaha), I’d like to propose a business partnership.

              We could also have Constantshit garbage souvenirs, but we’d basically have to clone the douche. And one is bad enough. So we’ll have to settle for boxes of grease.

              Any ideas for Clay? I didn’t watch back then, and I’m not up to speed on their antics.

              By the way, for Adam, I would probably shove a medium Trojan inside an XL wrapper, just for the lulz. He was Jewish, after all ;).

            • Verbally Dyslexic permalink
              December 23, 2009 12:32 am

              I wouldn’t handle Constantine’s garbage without a hazmat suit and CDC on standby. And $5 million upfront hardship fee.

              I’m not well-versed in Clay paraphernalia though.

            • Lauren permalink
              December 23, 2009 12:54 am

              Wait what are you implying, cinemaniac86…? lolz

    • deez permalink
      December 23, 2009 12:48 am

      Hmmm. I came across a comment (wish I could remember where)… I was reading the back-and-forth in a fanwar, and there was one comment that had nothing to do with the subject.(so it caught my eye). There was a guy who claimed to have lived next door to HBD at some point, and he said that HBD was a cool, laid back guy…but he was NOT the squeaky clean church-going mama’s boy everyone thinks he is. He claimed to know stuff, and insinuated things about his marriage. I figured the guy for an idiot and ignored it . (I could say that I used to live next door to Obama and he forced bunny rabbits to wear corsets if I wanted to.) I wonder if there’s some random guy bent on messing with the HBD image? IDK…I would like him better if I found out he wasn’t Saint Kristopher. (it could backfire)

      • deez permalink
        December 23, 2009 1:08 am

        LOL! There is TARD ART on pg 14 !!!OMG!!!!

        http://community.livejournal.com/ontd_ai/3338516.html?page=14#comments

      • erinnthered permalink
        December 23, 2009 2:43 am

        I never knew he was supposed to be St Kristopher. I just though he had a healthy idea of what God means, and understood the importance of charity and being humble.

        The difference is that people like Kris acknowledge that they aren’t perfect, and understand the importance of working to become a better person. As opposed to the people who pretend to be perfect, and stick their fingers in their ears or act surprised any time someone suggests otherwise. (aka Gokey)

        • deez permalink
          December 23, 2009 2:58 am

          True, but the media portrayal of him being well, basically, Kenneth from 30 Rock, would be off-base now. I think a little tarnish is good for the image…nobody wants Pat Boone, they want Elvis. Whether any of this is true or not, Kris just upgraded to Bill Haley (to extend the 50’s metaphor).

          A little bad-boy mystery (controversy???) could serve him well, now we need those shirtless pics.

        • TopIdol permalink
          December 23, 2009 3:21 am

          In the Out interview, Lambert said HBD “wasn’t religious”. It made me smile.

          It also always made me giggle when Pastor Rolex would kiss the ass of Kris’ pastor (who leads a much larger, much wealthier congregation with a substantially larger web design budget) via Twitter.

          • erinnthered permalink
            December 23, 2009 3:43 am

            I took that as Adam’s understanding of what Christians are supposed to be. Granted, I’m saying this as a non-Christian, but a lot of people think being “religious” means being like Gokey. Anyone who doesn’t throw their beliefs in someone else’s face must not be religious. Given what I do know of Kris, I do think he’s religious, but in the real sense. It’s about how you live your life, and all that.

            Of course, that have been what you meant, in which case, ignore me.

            I loved that Kris’ pastor blew off Pastor Rolex every time.

            Also, I love Bill Hailey.

          • wino permalink
            December 23, 2009 3:11 pm

            When did HBD get stuck w. the church boy label? I think EW might have pointed out that most of the top 12/13 were church worship leaders (Lil, Gokey, MAtt and Kris….Sarver too? i cant recall the exact article or wording). But interesting how Kris became the poster child for religious fanatics for people who wanted to find a fault in his success. What these people forget to consider is the context of that information. HBD’s town is freakin small, there are a cpl of bars …where else is he going to express his musical sensibility? Little Rock? even LR is a small city, not many venues. So yeah, in an environment were church attendance is quite common, mostly for social reasons, it makes sense for HBD to be active church/music member. And in reality, he was a worship leader for only ONE year. HBD …Holy By Default?

  13. Verbally Dyslexic permalink
    December 22, 2009 8:41 pm

    OMG this is incredible! Talk about being late to the party, so many goodies, I don’t know if I can contribute anything.

    But I see no Ty Ty in the list. That woman and her five-head will come down on you with the fury of a thousand fierce catwalk instructors or something. So here’s something for consideration.

    Bad ideas for trends that should not see the light of day in 2010 (but probably will):
    1) Ty Ty’s SMIZING
    2) Gokey’s heart hands
    3) Greasy Constantine (I know it doesn’t make sense but he shouldn’t see the light of day for any reason)

  14. Sherena permalink
    December 22, 2009 6:48 pm

    I feel like I’m out of the loop because I don’t even know who Jon Hamm is.

    • deez permalink
      December 22, 2009 6:56 pm

      NOOOOO, I was as you just a few short weeks ago, when on the advice of practically everyone here, I rented Season 1 of Mad Men (watched it over the weekend) then rented S2 and watched it over 2 days, then “acquired” ( legally, of course * looks about suspiciously*) S3!!
      You won’t regret it!!

      • cinemaniac86 permalink
        December 22, 2009 7:01 pm

        IT’S THAT ADDICTING, ISN’T IT?!

        Back in the late summer, I remember finally watching it after making it a goal. And after one episode, I want moremoremoremore Peggy. And Joan, oh Joan!

        The season 3 finale has me so excited for the new directions the show will take. It BETTER not skip 1964, since that’s the year of The fucking Beatles and all.

        Who’s your favorite character??

        • deez permalink
          December 22, 2009 8:26 pm

          1964 will be awesome. Fav character would be tough, they are all so well-written.Roger maybe? IDK, I was crushed when Don fired Sal, so they definitely need to bring him back. Some of the commonplace things are so hilarious…stuff that is jaw-dropping now…leaving picnic litter all over the hillside, no seatbelts, drinking and driving (drinking and anything really), thinking a person out taking a walk is an oddball, the omnipresent cigarette, 8 yr olds mixing cocktails,… everything is so spot on. The clothes, hair, and props are wonderful. Strangely enough, one thing that bugs me most about films that were actually made in the 60’s is that, no matter the setting, all the women have 60’s hair. ( a roaring twenties or WWII film made in the sixties, will feature female characters with bouffants and flips, lol)

          • Mithra permalink
            December 22, 2009 10:25 pm

            I need to rent this. Been meaning to for forever.

            To be fair, it wasn’t just the ’60s period style films and TV shows that can be dated by the women’s hair. It was pretty much standard except for the art film “auteur” directors to make films with absurb then contemporary hairstyles. Pretty much into the ’90s. Remember Dances with Wolves? The love interest, convientently a kidnapped white woman 😉 had hair metal hair like she was a back up singer for Poison.

      • TopIdol permalink
        December 22, 2009 9:55 pm

        I am forcing it upon my parents now. Gave my father Season 1 early and I popped it into the DVD for family fun times.

        • Verbally Dyslexic permalink
          December 22, 2009 10:44 pm

          I want to watch Mad Men, even before TI started pimping it out, but I have a backlog of shows I’ve been neglecting and to add one more means having to knock another off the list. It isn’t even a long list to begin with. 😦

          • erinnthered permalink
            December 23, 2009 2:34 am

            Bump this one to the front. You won’t regret it. Like many have said, once you start watching you won’t put it down till you’re done.

            Also, ninjavideo is your friend. 😉

      • Sherena permalink
        December 24, 2009 3:10 am

        Well if it’s that good, maybe I should try it sometime 🙂 Thanks for the rec!

    • December 23, 2009 5:10 am

      Ha! Me too – and too damn lazy to go find out 🙂

  15. deez permalink
    December 22, 2009 12:34 pm

    (This is Oskar’s winning category)

    Fiercest: (a) Christian Siriano (b) Sasha Fierce (c) Adam (d Oskar

    • Lauren permalink
      December 22, 2009 1:39 pm

      Sorry I’d have to vote for Adam in this category. Oskar is a close second though.

      • deez permalink
        December 22, 2009 1:51 pm

        Dammitt! How about best use of fur? Best make-out with a mustache? Best expression of disdain? ( Do NOT tell me you would vote for Adam in those categories as well!!!!)

        • Lauren permalink
          December 22, 2009 1:59 pm

          Haha ok these can go to Oskar.

    • erinnthered permalink
      December 23, 2009 3:34 am

      Best Ginger:

      a) Oskar
      b) Adam (self-hater)
      c) Joan Holloway-Harris (fake, I know, but she’s so fierce it doesn’t matter)
      d) Me

      I just couldn’t think of a fourth. 😉

      • TopIdol permalink
        December 23, 2009 3:55 am

        Perhaps a best “out & proud ginger” category?

        • erinnthered permalink
          December 23, 2009 4:09 am

          No more Adam, then. But who? Who won ANTM this year? Isn’t she one of us?

      • Lauren permalink
        December 23, 2009 11:55 am

        Allison is a ginger-converted.

  16. deez permalink
    December 22, 2009 12:28 pm

    Most Hallmark Moment: (a) Daddy Allen’s tears as he hugged HBD (b) Matt being saved (c) any of several Kradam hugs (d)Lil Rounds’ tears watching her babies at the judges’ table

    • on the edge permalink
      December 22, 2009 12:34 pm

      Oh crap, gotta include that “don’t cry, Mama” during the Homecoming package. That got me verklemp!

    • Lauren permalink
      December 22, 2009 1:38 pm

      C!!!!!!!!111!!!!11!1
      The finale. Adam being overjoyed for Kris and Kris saying that Adam should have won. Or any of the “surprise huggles”

    • auntieaimee permalink
      December 22, 2009 4:24 pm

      Oh, all of these are good! What about La Princesa’s sing-out of “Cry Baby” with the tears streaming down her face?

      • cinemaniac86 permalink
        December 22, 2009 4:25 pm

        That could also be considered for Gokiest moment, due to the evil satisfied smirk of Malicious!Gokey.

        • Verbally Dyslexic permalink
          December 22, 2009 10:45 pm

          I couldn’t decide if the smirk was Malicious!Gokey or Pedophile!Gokey. Hard to tell them apart.

      • Lauren permalink
        December 22, 2009 5:26 pm

        Aw! That combined with the sad look on Kradam’s faces. Everyone crying, but Gokey.

        • cinemaniac86 permalink
          December 22, 2009 6:12 pm

          Remember this?:

          Epic win.

          • deez permalink
            December 22, 2009 6:51 pm

            Nice! That makes me nostalgic. I’m choking back tears of regret, for there is no way that S9 could possibly provide us with a cheeseball as smarmy as Gokey who binds us all together with his ickiness.

          • Lauren permalink
            December 22, 2009 9:27 pm

            I ❤ that!

    • Sherena permalink
      December 22, 2009 6:47 pm

      Kradam hugs! They were the best.

    • 8sourcandy permalink
      December 22, 2009 9:45 pm

      Matt being saved!!

    • on the edge permalink
      December 23, 2009 11:00 am

      I just wanted to add Allison and Adam’s running hug right at the end of “Slow Ride,” a sweet end to what a duet is SUPPOSED to be (*cough* Gokey *cough* douche *cough*).

  17. deez permalink
    December 22, 2009 12:23 pm

    Most cringe-inducing idol moment: (a) Gokey cake-wrestling Allison (b) Sarver/Gokey love each in the “godly” way (c) The Scream (d) Gokey’s impersonation of Quatto Host

    (note common denominator)

    • Lauren permalink
      December 22, 2009 1:35 pm

      I’d definitely say the scream but any moment with Gokey is pretty cringe-inducing.

  18. Mithra permalink
    December 22, 2009 11:55 am

    Craziest Tard Paraphanelia

    Lock of Adam’s hair encased in plasticine jewelry auctioned off on eBay for $700

    Tatoos

    Signed bras

    Dildos

    • on the edge permalink
      December 22, 2009 12:32 pm

      Wasn’t there some “Essence of Adam” or cologne called “Adamgasm” being sold on eBay? We had fun speculating what it consisted of…keeping our gag reflexes in check of course. OH, and the “Crocs” charms!

    • December 23, 2009 3:59 am

      Craziest Tard Paraphernalia – great category but surely incomplete without the beautiful and lovingly crafted, definitely non-political, embryo-cum-christmas tree decoration in the “style” of Adam Lambert – style of in this case being a little black mohican hairdo never before seen on Adam Lambert. A must-have!

  19. LeighKat permalink
    December 22, 2009 10:45 am

    Best Performance Enhancer for Judges:
    A) Captains
    B) Percocet
    C) Stupidity
    D) God given Bitchyness

    Craziest Tard Paraphanelia
    A)Fetus Ornament
    B)Sparkle Cow Shirts
    C)Shower Curtains
    (I am sure I have forgotten something)

    Favourite Fixation
    a)The Situation’s Situation
    b)Glambulge
    c)HBD’s Biceps
    d)Quatto
    e)Ade’s Pic
    f)Making heart shapes with your hands

    Most Offensive/Annoying Idol Gestures/Habits/Actions
    a)Gokey: Making heart shapes with your hands
    b)Adam: Glambulge thrusting
    c)Megan: Cawing
    d)Kris: Monkey Faces and side mouth singing
    More suggestions?

    Funniest Kradam Interview
    a)Discussing headphones for “cuddling”- Kris puts arm around Adam
    b)Adam: “I like being on top” – what was this from again?
    Can’t remember others

    Favorite Show or movie that Top Idol turned you on to:
    a)Battlestar Gallactica
    b)Mad Men
    c)The Room
    d)Jersey Shore

    • deez permalink
      December 22, 2009 12:16 pm

      Funniest Kradam interview additions: (bubble tweet from the bus) ” I’m tired, I’m going to bed now…beep….beep….beep.”

      And the incomparable (although not strictly Kradam) LKL (now with Ryan Seacrest!) interview where HBD jokingly (?) calls out Gokey: “Youuuuu Jerk.”

    • Lauren permalink
      December 22, 2009 12:34 pm

      C
      A
      B
      A
      A
      D
      “I have a crush on Adam, too. Can I say that?”
      Also may I add to the contention for funniest Kradam interview, the Water bottle interview.

    • cinemaniac86 permalink
      December 22, 2009 5:36 pm

      TI, plz convert into images =):

      That is all.

      • Lauren permalink
        December 22, 2009 5:45 pm

        CUTEST. PIC. EVER.
        Oh it was the inspiration for many a slash.
        😀

    • 8sourcandy permalink
      December 22, 2009 9:44 pm

      Best Performance Enhancer for Judges:
      C) Stupidity

      Craziest Tard Paraphanelia
      A)Fetus Ornament

      Favourite Fixation
      b)Glambulge

      Most Offensive/Annoying Idol Gestures/Habits/Actions
      a)Gokey: Making heart shapes with your hands

      More suggestions?
      Funniest Kradam Interview
      b)Adam: “I like being on top” – what was this from again?

      Favorite Show or movie that Top Idol turned you on to:
      b)Mad Men

    • erinnthered permalink
      December 23, 2009 3:29 am

      These awards need more Jersey Shore!

      Best “smush” name:

      a)Kradam
      b)Krallison
      c)Krim
      d)The Snookuation

      Best Accessory
      a)Kris’ nailpolish
      b) Paulie’s hair gel
      c) Don’s brunettes
      d)Matt’s Quatto covers

      There should be a best tattoo category. You could work in Megan, the Jersey Shore cast, and the delusional tards in one category!

      • TopIdol permalink
        December 23, 2009 3:53 am

        Most Touching & Endearing Relationship with an Inanimate Object

        a) Constantine Maroulis and his pissed-on mouth fungus oral medication
        b) Matt Giraud and Quatto the Mole
        c) Snooki and the Duck Phone
        d) Adam Lambert and rotten small intestine epaulet
        e) Danny Gokey and his _______

        (Yes. _______ can mean either overpriced eyewear or deceased wife.)

        • Lauren permalink
          December 23, 2009 11:55 am

          No Adam with the picture of Kris he keeps under his pillow! He loves him more than that sea monster on his shoulder!

      • Lauren permalink
        December 23, 2009 11:52 am

        LOL you forgot Adison. Fine by me though. There is no point in a tatoo category. We all know Adam’s eyes tattooed onto your back is an automatic win.

      • auntieaimee permalink
        December 23, 2009 1:21 pm

        Best “smush” name:

        I nominate “Lilegan” and “Noopael”.

  20. cinemaniac86 permalink
    December 22, 2009 9:17 am

    @erinthered: Ooooooh, that’s some fascinating batshit right thurr. So Q3 is to music chart analysts what Holly Sockpuppets is to CLASSY ad execs?

    Best Meat Loaf song = “You Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth” ♥♥♥♥. I also love “Bat Out of Hell” and “Paradise by the Dashboard Lights” was the guilty pleasure of my high school dances. One of my hags (=O coincidentally named Erin!!) and I did dorky dancing to that song–that was our jam. Granted, it doesn’t make it any the less insufferable now, especially since I finally discovered my true inner hipster.

    I completely agree with your rankings though, and I still haven’t heard that many Pink Floyd songs (yet).

    Finally got around to Radiohead (“15 Step”) and Wilco (“Hummingbird”) as of this year, and I’m loving them. I’ve always dug The White Stripes, especially “Seven Nation Army”, which if Q3 weren’t a complete loony, she’d be aware of the immense popularity of that song. The Strokes are good, although a handful of songs kinda blend together for me. And yeah, “Last Nite” raped the airwaves. I dig “12:51” more, personally.

    Yay, more TL;DR!

    TI should publish a Stewart/Colbert-like lulz novel about these delusional tards. I think it would be a great antidote for Idol insanity.

    • erinnthered permalink
      December 23, 2009 3:21 am

      More teal deer crossing…

      Actually, my name is Erinn. Gotta love that second ‘n’ if for no other reason than to distance me from creepy ANTM contestants.

      OMG, Meatloaf is awesome! Even hipsters should be able to appreciate the OTT theatricality of his music. It really is pure camp.

      Speaking of…resist the inner hipster! No good can come of it! Sorry, I lived in Austin for 5 years, and I have a very jaded view of the subgroup, even if we do tend to share many interests. As long as you avoid plaid and ironic facial hair, you should be okay. 😉

      You must get Dark Side of the Moon. Then you can sync it up with Wizard of Oz for Dark Side of the Rainbow! Although, I found Purple Rain is a much cooler sync. (The things you try when you’re young and bored.) Anyway, yeah, Floyd is worth it even if you don’t like prog rock. Which, I don’t usually. They’re just great all around. You can’t go wrong with Echoes. It’s a good primer.

      I’m a Radiohead ‘tard, so I can’t really find anything bad about them, but I’m 50/50 on Wilco. Partially because of the hipster association, and partially because I met this woman who dated the bassist before they hit it big, and she was bitchy to me. “Hummingbird” is a great song, though.

      And anyone who doesn’t at least recognize the opening bars of “Seven Nation Army” should at least be polite enough to admit they’ve been living under a rock, musically. I had to go look up “12;51,” but I do know it, and it is much better than “Last Nite.”

      There does need to be some sort of fandom parody book made. I think TI would be perfect to compile an Idol themed version. 🙂

  21. cinemaniac86 permalink
    December 22, 2009 3:23 am

    Powderiest Powder of the Year:

    A) Alexis Grace
    B) Kayla Radomski
    C) Mollee Gray
    D) That Gelfling model that you despise…Erin?

    Which white devil bitch really sticks in your craw most?

    • TopIdol permalink
      December 22, 2009 4:25 am

      Oh wow. Now that’s a question.

      Malnourished Casper Twat vs. Powder vs. Moron Mollee vs. The Gelfling

      • cinemaniac86 permalink
        December 22, 2009 9:20 am

        Quite a mindfuck, isn’t it? (Suggestion: quadruple tie!)

        On the flipside, it’s a rather wickedawesome Survivor-type showdown scenario.

    • LeighKat permalink
      December 22, 2009 10:23 am

      This is the best question ever! lol!

      • cinemaniac86 permalink
        December 22, 2009 4:33 pm

        ♥ You’re the best question ever.

        I dunno, it seemed sweet in theory.

  22. deez permalink
    December 22, 2009 3:20 am

    Biggest politically opinionated Moron: (a) Rush Limbaugh (b) Anne Coulter (c) Glenn Beck (d) Bill O’Reilly

    Most delusional fanbase: (a) Claymates (b) Chicago cubs fans (c) Twihards (d) Scientologists

    Things you look forward to in 2010: (a) your new diet that lasts 3 days (b) the final (?) season of AI (c) the apocalyptic meltdown of the fickle tards when they realize S9 may be the last and they will have no more M&G’s to stalk AI men 20 yrs younger than they are (d) Mad Men Season 4

    • cinemaniac86 permalink
      December 22, 2009 3:25 am

      2010 will be the year of Jon Hamm. Like, more so. He’s also in a movie, Howl, with James fucking Franco! It’ll be premiering at Sundance this January, so next month, we should get early reviews and/or J-squared photographs up the wazoo.

      • TopIdol permalink
        December 22, 2009 4:30 am

        Men who might be/probably are gay that actually sadden me, not that I would get a chance to begin with:
        a) Anderson Cooper
        b) James Franco
        c) Zachary Quinto

        (No, Adam Lambert is not an option.)

        • auntieaimee permalink
          December 22, 2009 8:51 am

          Hugh Jackman.

        • Lauren permalink
          December 22, 2009 12:28 pm

          You forgot Kris Allen

          • Mithra permalink
            December 22, 2009 2:15 pm

            Kris is gay and in love with Adam 😉

          • Mithra permalink
            December 22, 2009 2:21 pm

            Oops, sorry Lauren. I read to fast and thought you meant Kris WASN’T gay. My bad 🙂

            I’d be fairly disappointed if Ryan was straight. Perhaps another category?

            • Lauren permalink
              December 22, 2009 2:24 pm

              Haha would I ever say that Kris was straight? Come on!

          • cinemaniac86 permalink
            December 22, 2009 4:34 pm

            This is literally the first thought I had for a (D) for her nominations.

            • deez permalink
              December 23, 2009 12:41 pm

              Would Daniel Radcliffe belong on that list? (I don’t know if fits the “saddens me” part…but a yes to the “suspected”)

        • wino permalink
          December 23, 2009 3:31 pm

          (A)…sob sob. Unfortunately for women all over the globe, he is gay. Its always the handsome, educated and witty ones 😦 Actually a guy from your missouri dated him…cant recall if he went to mizzou or just hung around the guys in LA that did.

    • 8sourcandy permalink
      December 22, 2009 3:43 am

      1) 4-way tie
      2) a-Claymates
      3) d-Mad Men season 4

    • TopIdol permalink
      December 22, 2009 4:27 am

      You forgot Laura Ingram. I hate that woman. Her voice makes me want to claw things.

      • cinemaniac86 permalink
        December 22, 2009 4:38 am

        Not gonna lie, when I first read this, my mind immediately thought of Sarah, Plain and Tall. I must wiki this Laura Ingrate and wonder why she dare have a name so similar to Laura Ingalls Wilder.

        • erinnthered permalink
          December 22, 2009 7:59 am

          She’s on the level of Coulter. Save your eardrums. The batshit runs deep with that one.

      • freedavidcook permalink
        December 22, 2009 10:15 am

        Hard to believe she used to date Keith Olbermann

        • cinemaniac86 permalink
          December 22, 2009 10:32 am

          After reading Ingrahamcracker’s Wiki page, it’s become apparent that the republicunt has major ladywood for Demokrauts:

          …and has dated former New Jersey Democratic Senator Robert Torricelli,[17] as well as briefly dating MSNBC host Keith Olbermann.

          Bipartisan debates are her dirty talk.

    • on the edge permalink
      December 22, 2009 12:26 pm

      Deez, I would add “Alabama Crimson Tide Fans” under delusional fanbases (I know, I am one of the few non-delusional ones) and “final season of LOST” under “looking forward to.”

      • Lauren permalink
        December 22, 2009 12:30 pm

        Wait as in LOST to finally be over, or that you still like it? Not gonna lie, I still watch LOST but it really needs to wrap itself up.

        • on the edge permalink
          December 22, 2009 12:36 pm

          I am a proud “Lostie,” and don’t know what I’ll do if this turns out to be the last seasons of Lost AND Idol. I figured Idol could get me through the absence of Sawyer, Ben and Locke in 2011, but Simon’s determined to ruin that for me.

          • Lauren permalink
            December 22, 2009 1:43 pm

            I used to LOVE Lost. I would tard over it almost as much as I tard over Adam now. Then it got stupid. I do love me some Sawyer though. Yup. I am going to cry if Idol and Lost end in the same year. Both of my guilty pleasures, GONE! I mean they already decided to take Dollhouse from me. I will have nothing left!
            Maybe I’ll re-watch Buffy 😀

      • deez permalink
        December 22, 2009 1:29 pm

        OOOH …but this year the TideFans’ delusions will meet with reality and the entire South will be littered with empty detergent boxes and rolls of TP (non football fans are thinking WTF? about now) as the Tide goes on to defeat the ‘Horns. ( Plus the Tide has the undying gratitude of the entire SEC …except for Floridians…for whooping the Gators …SO SO SO SICK of Jesus Tebow)

        • Lauren permalink
          December 22, 2009 1:45 pm

          WTF? I feel like my friends when I tell them an Idol joke and they stare at me blankly.

          • deez permalink
            December 22, 2009 1:57 pm

            http://thatfan.com/2009/12/05/best-espn-college-gameday-signs-12509/

            Scroll down till you see the pic! (Alabama cheer is “Roll Tide!”) Now THIS is Tarding with a capital T.

            • on the edge permalink
              December 22, 2009 3:31 pm

              Deez, thanks for the link…just proving wacky signage isn’t limited to Idoltards.

              “Lane Kiffin hates puppies” is the LULZ. I can’t stand that douchebag. Between him and Gokey, damn does Tennessee just attract d-bags?

            • deez permalink
              December 22, 2009 5:53 pm

              IKR? Some of those signs are great! (We may be the only two who appreciate them…though I’m pretty sure TI gets the football tardery) I liked ” Tim Tebow snipped a bit too much off my baby” and “Mike Vick Killed UGA VII”

            • on the edge permalink
              December 23, 2009 12:53 am

              The one thing I never got about the TP rolls (I was late coming to my Alabama fandom)…you’d think they would be more associated with arch-rival Auburn…Toomer’s Corner and all.

        • erinnthered permalink
          December 23, 2009 2:45 am

          Wait…beat the ‘Horns? Did hell freeze over and pigs fly over Austin? 😉

    • Lauren permalink
      December 22, 2009 12:27 pm

      My answer is “c” for all of them.

  23. cinemaniac86 permalink
    December 22, 2009 2:09 am

    OOH,

    KKKlassiest Idol!
    1) Kimberly Caldwell
    2) Alexis Grace
    3) Becky O’Donohue
    4) Frenchie Davis

    More suggestions, plz.

    See, we be thinkin’ ’boutchu, Holly ;).

    • cinemaniac86 permalink
      December 22, 2009 2:44 am

      5) Casey Carlson — Of course, how could I forget? Then again, how could anyone remember?

      • auntieaimee permalink
        December 22, 2009 8:47 am

        Was she the one in the hot pants? She’s got to be pole dancing by now.

        • on the edge permalink
          December 22, 2009 12:24 pm

          No, that was Haley Scarnato (spelling?)

          Casey was the less-skanky “Other Bikini Girl” that did some “Campus Cutie” calendar and massacred “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic.”

          • Mithra permalink
            December 22, 2009 2:19 pm

            Both Haley and Casey are also guilty of being with Blake “EWW” Lewis. Haley the moleface proto quatto actually dated him and probably touched his teeny peen. Not sure if Casey did.

            • TopIdol permalink
              December 22, 2009 9:47 pm

              I think that Haley chick (whom I only know of is from when I saw David Duchovny on Letterman and he said his 7-year-old son had a crush on her…this was when that season was on) admitted to banging nasty midget troll Blake on an AI Extra from last year. Yeah, she totally admitted it. I bet some tard has the video somewhere.

            • Mithra permalink
              December 22, 2009 10:19 pm

              She admitted it? Yikes. How sad. Funny story/rumour 😉 going around tour time was that she was his FOURTH choice. He had a list, Shyamali was #1, Gina was somewhere between #2 and #3 depending if Blake was drunk and admitted he wanted to do Sanjaya or Shyamali, either one, didn’t matter, then Gina, THEN Haley. She was hanging all over him like he was a prize at public appearances like at NYE where he of course acted like a tool. What’s she doing now, more boat shows? Massage ads on craigslist?

            • Mithra permalink
              December 23, 2009 1:27 am

              I just remembered Blake’s “titties in my mouf” rantings that night. UGH. I recall all the Cake tards going nuts worrying that he showed up with Chris R AND Haley. Meltdown in Tardlandia. Here’s some video with Cat Deeley. I’m sure the whole thing is on youtube:

    • Lauren permalink
      December 22, 2009 12:26 pm

      This might be one of my favorite categories so far.

      • cinemaniac86 permalink
        December 22, 2009 4:36 pm

        Aww, that almost makes me wanna turn straight for you.

        But then, what would James Franco do without me? We’re so clearly OTP.

        • Lauren permalink
          December 22, 2009 5:27 pm

          It’s ok. I don’t want James Franco to kill himself because of your absense. Haha!

    • Verbally Dyslexic permalink
      December 22, 2009 11:32 pm

      Can I throw Antonella Barba out there? She managed to stir up quite a scandal for herself in Season 6. I wasn’t watching the show at the time, but Dlisted kept me well-informed.

  24. Mithra permalink
    December 22, 2009 2:03 am

    Most insidious tard: (a) L Anne (b) Heliotripe (c) Holly Sockpuppets (d) Celine

    (e)Jessica Svajgert (f)Aperilla (g)Marty Feldman (h)Sue Brody and so on and so on…

    • TopIdol permalink
      December 22, 2009 2:08 am

      I want to know how Sue Brody wormed her way into USA Today last spring. Oh wait. She browbeats Idol reporters/bloggers during every waking moment.

    • deez permalink
      December 22, 2009 2:32 am

      It’s impossible to narrow down that category.

      • TopIdol permalink
        December 22, 2009 2:35 am

        We didn’t even mention PastaBaby, NeedACock…Gokey’s Purple People Eaters or whatever they called themselves. Oh yeah. The Gokey Scouts.

        • erinnthered permalink
          December 22, 2009 3:29 am

          Don’t forget the “internet lawler” award for the fans who pretend to have knowledge about something they clearly don’t. HollySockpuppets may be a shoe-in for the win, but it would give an opportunity to nominate Q3 and her ilk.

          • cinemaniac86 permalink
            December 22, 2009 3:38 am

            Q3? Please edumacate me.

            …Sounds like something I’d want to see.

            • erinnthered permalink
              December 22, 2009 8:11 am

              She’s a Glambert and poster at mj’s and Planet Fierce who thinks she knows all about music marketing and how to interpret charts and sales numbers. Really, she just looks like a delusional tard who passive aggressively attacks anyone who even sounds like they might be saying something negative about Adam.

            • erinnthered permalink
              December 22, 2009 9:02 am

              ETA: Here’s a gem from her. She’ll post something with a little bit of truth, a lot of incorrect assumptions, and no cogent argument or relevance to Adam in any way.

              I added my own tl;dr at the bottom, because this one just blew my mind.

              Q3:

              I realize that album sales are important. But aren’t singles that top the charts the ones that make an artist iconic?

              IMHO the answer is no. But I guess it depends on that you call iconic.

              All I know is, and artist can have a hit single without selling albums AND an album can sell without a hit single. The fact that many hit albums contain hit singles is because hit albums are usually contain some really good songs.

              1. The top selling album of 2009 [calender year not the screwy Billboard calendar] looks like it will be SuBo’s album — no hit single and very little radio airplay.

              2. If you just look at sales, nothing in the 2000’s is in the league of the top selling musics from the 60’s thru the 90’s. But there are some musical icons that emerged in the past 10 years.

              3. The #3 and #4 selling albums of all time, were not driven by singles — both iconic artists in my book, and certainly iconic albums:

              Pink Floyd’s “The Dark Side of the Moon” 1973 45 million sold and
              “Money” from DSofM hit #14 US chart

              Meat Loaf “Bat out of Hell” 1977 Rock 43 million sold, no hit single.

              4. If you look at critics opinions you find that Radiohead’s “Kid A” is on top of many critics lists for best album of the decade. Here are Rolling Stones Top 5 Albums of the Decade — for example:

              1 | Radiohead: Kid A — no hit single

              2 | The Strokes: Is This It — no hit single

              3 | Wilco: Yankee Hotel Foxtrot — no hit single

              4 | Jay-Z: The Blueprint — #8 and #15 singles on Hot 100

              5 | The White Stripes: Elephant — no hit single

              My own gripe about this post:

              1st: critics’ opinions=/=sales

              2nd: SuBo had a hit YT video. Just as powerful as a radio single these days, and she proved it.

              3rd: She has no clue about the Modern Rock and R&B charts. Of course, to her, hit singles are only in Pop and AC because she doesn’t care about music out side of the Idol bubble. She would totally miss that Radiohead didn’t release any singles from Kid A (no iTunes to force singles sales), but “Optimistic” sure did get a lot of radio play. Is This It did have a hit single, “Last Night.” It got played to death too. YHF had an accompanying, award-winning documentary that certainly didn’t hurt. It’s also the lowest selling album on the list. Plus, Q3 has clearly never met a hipster. The biggest joke is the claim that The Blueprint and Elephant didn’t have any hit singles. They both had several. Did she even turn on a radio between ’01 and’05? Wait…don’t answer that. *eyeroll*

              One more thing:

              Pink Floyd>>>>>>>>>>Meatloaf (*cough*Paradise by the Dashboard Light*cough*)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Adam Lambert.

              • TopIdol permalink
                December 22, 2009 9:30 pm

                Oh wow. She is certainly a gem, ain’t she?

            • Brett permalink
              December 22, 2009 11:37 am

              Ugh. Q3 is awful, and the Glamtards at mj’s just worship her Wikipedia-loving ass. She spreads false information disguised as insider-wisdom all over the Idol boards thicker than Adam spreads his MAC foundation. All she knows about the music industry is how to copy and paste from wiki. She’s now claiming to be in contact with Adam’s management regarding his promotional strategy, and the tards are bowing down to her. I’m so sure 19 is now consulting with delusional tards from Tupelo Mississippi about how best to market Adam’s New Years Eve Gridlock event.

              • TopIdol permalink
                December 22, 2009 9:33 pm

                She sounds just like Holly Sockpuppets’ just as batshit crazy/evil twin.

                • erinnthered permalink
                  December 23, 2009 4:01 am

                  Q3 really is in the running for BNF, but in that fandom I’m not sure what it’ll achieve.

                  I totally missed that, Brett! I’ve been avoiding the Adam threads lately, so I had no idea her illusions of grandeur had gone so far. She probably got some lackey to respond to a ridiculous question, and is turning that into a “direct line” to his pr team. *eyeroll*

                  The irony is that there are a couple of genuinely connected people (not to Adam, just in general) on that board, and they’ve tried to point out her bs. Of course, they weren’t saying what the tards wanted to hear, so they got ignored…

                  • Mithra permalink
                    December 24, 2009 9:31 am

                    The Adam threads on MJs have gone from worse to worser 😀

                    I have another idea I’m reminded of since every time I scroll down to click on new posts I see Constantcrap’s freakin mouth fungus (EWWW) How about Idol fights or disses? You know, like Constantine vs a whole bunch of people in this infamous inteview:

                    Constantine vs Scott Savol. Blake Lewis vs a bunch of people. Adam vs Clay. Tatiana vs everyone and the voices in her head…etc…? Can include judges and Ryan.

                    • Lauren permalink
                      December 24, 2009 11:56 am

                      Adam vs. Clay! We all know Clay would die. Oh and can’t forget Kris vs. Gokey. Actually all of Kradison vs. Gokey.

                  • Mithra permalink
                    December 24, 2009 10:12 am

                    Most hilarious fan video:

                    Or…most hilarious anti fan video (like this)

                    • Lauren permalink
                      December 24, 2009 12:00 pm

                      Anti-fan video!

                    • Mithra permalink
                      December 24, 2009 4:19 pm

                      That’s hilarious. I’ve heard about that one but never watched it until now. Probably some fundie Adam tard back when they were denying he was gay and she thought he was Elvis reincarnated. Clearly a former fan trying to bring him back to JESUS. She probably missed the part that he’s Jewish too 😉

                      What’s even funnier is that women cannot become Masons. Unless it’s really true that Lady Gaga is a tranny or hermaphrodite 😀 The women can join something called The Order of Rebecca, at least in the US. It must be super secrud or I’ve misremembered the name, because I did a quick google search and Harry Potter crap turned up. My ex boyfriend was invited to join the Masons, and did, so we went to social events and it was suggested I join that. Basically a bunch of old WASPy guys and their wives trying to pull us young people in to carry it on. Most were stoners and neo deadheads 😀 But of course all from good families 🙂 There is also some subgroup in the UK, but again not true Masons and segregated due to sex.

                    • Lauren permalink
                      December 24, 2009 4:35 pm

                      I know isn’t it fabulous! Even my dad who hates all things idol really enjoyed it! My favorite part is how they say Lady Gaga is in some sort of demonic stance while she’s wearing her Hello-Kitty doll dress! I agree with you about the bringing back to Jesus part. Someone said in the comments “He’s Jewish so he doesn’t care about this stuff.” The response was “Even Jews can be saved!” I starting cracking up even more. I asked him for forgiveness (in a particularly sarcastic way) and he denied it to me! lol!

                      She is a girl! Haha that’s really funny. I want to be a free-mason 😦 Oh deluded super-Christians. How you entertain me with your false information.

                    • TopIdol permalink
                      December 24, 2009 6:09 pm

                      Why have I totally missed the Glamtardwannabefreemason stuff? I must see this? Is this the Prayer Warrior?

                    • Lauren permalink
                      December 24, 2009 8:13 pm

                      It’s the video I posted a couple comments up. It’s basically a warning to Adam that Lady Gaga is a freemason aka devil worshiper and he should not be in her company. It’s so messed up, it’s hilarious!

                    • erinnthered permalink
                      December 24, 2009 9:48 pm

                      That has to be one of the most awesome things I’ve ever seen!

                      I’ve known relatives of Masons, but my only encounter with a “known” one was when my car broke down in the middle of the night while driving from Austin to Houston, and this nice guy pulled over to help me. He claimed Masonic membership to assure me he was “okay.” I had my cell phone and AAA, but he stuck around to make sure no one bothered me. I always found it a funny way to give credentials. Nicest devil worshipper I ever met.

                    • Lauren permalink
                      December 24, 2009 11:10 pm

                      Haha! Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you, I’m a free-mason.

                    • on the edge permalink
                      December 24, 2009 11:19 pm

                      My dad’s a Mason, my granddad was a Mason, and Masons are some of the nicest folks I’ve ever met. So far as I know, there’s no devil worship…just some good Brunswick Stew for fundraising, and funny hats. I know some Baptists who are anti-Mason, but that’s because Masons only require you believe in one God, meaning they also admit Jews and Muslims to membership.

                    • Lauren permalink
                      December 25, 2009 1:18 am

                      Whenever I hear Mason, I can’t help but think “Da Vinci Code”!!!! Damn it Dan Brown! So as long as I get a sex-change operation, I can become a Mason!!!! Yay!

                    • erinnthered permalink
                      December 24, 2009 9:50 pm

                      Most hilarious fan video:

                      It’s the sincerity in these that gets me. Poor woman. She obviously missed the “smelly” memo.

          • kimberly permalink
            December 23, 2009 1:12 pm

            So happy to see I’m not alone. I despise Q3 and her so-called knowledge of the music industry. I was hoping she would fly off to AO taking her minions with her.

            • wino permalink
              December 23, 2009 3:27 pm

              ha, i always wondered about that chick. she always seemed a bit miffed at my posts.

    • cinemaniac86 permalink
      December 22, 2009 2:36 am

      Aperilla ♥♥♥♥. Best delusional bitch/troll ever.

      • Mithra permalink
        December 22, 2009 11:48 am

        Whatever happened to Aperilla anyway? She was hilarious 😀

        Here’s more: Hollygofuckyourself (not to be confused with Holly Sockpuppets) aka hollygo72 aka snuffles

        Lou Daze – the freaky 50+ year old Canknucklehead who was Mamajaya’s cult’s left hand frau (and even though she’s not a tard herself, Mamajaya certainly qualifies as an entry into THE MOST STUPID AND INSANE PERSON in IDOLVILLE)

        The Blake Lewis Army – the whole lot of them

        The creepy “Counting David’s Character” middle aged dude and his pal Master Class Lady

        I’d put T Warnier down but sometimes she sounded somewhat sane and argued with the birth of the sparkle cows..so?

        So many more…alas…where is idletard when you need it? 😦

        Claysmyheart should get a lifetime achievement award.

  25. Lakshmi permalink
    December 22, 2009 1:55 am

    – Best Pastor Rolex moment

    – Best Allison Iraheta tweet

    – Favorite piece of jewelry from Paula Abdul’s QVC line

    • TopIdol permalink
      December 22, 2009 2:06 am

      La Princesa just tweeted a frontrunner!

      • 8sourcandy permalink
        December 22, 2009 2:08 am

        I don’t know what that means.

      • 8sourcandy permalink
        December 22, 2009 2:27 am

        Today I was searching Adam Lambert’s thumb hole shirt, as I do every Monday, and found this as the first entry/post:

        Dec 12, 2009 … What is even more beautiful than Adam Lambert in his thumb hole shirt and onyx ring? topidol.wordpress.com/…/reunited-and-it-feels-so-guido-kris-allen-adam-lambert-and-allison-iraheta-at-the-jingle-ball/ – Cached –

        In the event there is some award category about random posts that garner top search position, I want to show my eligibility. 🙂

        • TopIdol permalink
          December 22, 2009 2:33 am

          I have thumbhole shirts (also a huge fan of fingerless gloves). Delia’s had some great ones 3 years ago, but last year, Mother of Top Idol and I went to a Delia’s by my parents’ house and they no longer have the thumbholes. I was sad. They’re some of my favorite basic shirts, even though I have to go to a teenybopper store to buy them.

          They’re also called “heroin sleeves”, as they came into vogue because you don’t have to worry about them popping up to accidentally show your track marks.

          And no, I don’t do heroin. I’m just giving a little fashion history lesson.

          • 8sourcandy permalink
            December 22, 2009 3:02 am

            I do remember them from a few years ago and never got one. I like the two-toned gray one he wore exiting the doctor’s office a few months ago. I found a white Juicy Couture thumbhole shirt but hate white. I bought a gray cashmere sweater on clearance and cut and sewed my own holes, but it pulls. I will either find it or fashion it, but I will have it! 🙂

    • Lauren permalink
      December 22, 2009 12:24 pm

      For Best Pastor Rolex moment, remember when he tweeted “Does going to the supermarket with another guy make me gay?” Or something like that….
      But how could we ever pick just one piece of Paula’s amazing jewelry?!

  26. cinemaniac86 permalink
    December 22, 2009 1:25 am

    Lest we not forget my favorite contender for Ultimate Tard:

    https://topidol.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/018.jpg?w=480&h=640

    Such love:

    https://topidol.wordpress.com/2009/11/08/the-greatest-tard-video-ever-created/

    • TopIdol permalink
      December 22, 2009 1:31 am

      She made her own website. Took down the amazing videos, but made her own little site in her quest to get on Ellen. She is now trying to get to that NYE Gridlock thingey.

      • cinemaniac86 permalink
        December 22, 2009 1:33 am

        I clicked and all of a sudden, ’80s music has started play–waiiiiiit a minute….

      • 8sourcandy permalink
        December 22, 2009 1:42 am

        She should win something.

      • 8sourcandy permalink
        December 22, 2009 2:54 am

        Seriously, I just read her blog. She has had hard financial times, lost 100 pounds and is getting in touch with her own sexuality. Ok, the last one could mean anything from “Oh, look now that I lost all that weight I can see my vagina,” to “I want a sex change.” If it is the latter, I want credit for predicting it. 🙂 And, by credit I mean the coveted Quattro! I am going to be such a Quattro-whore from now on.

        I think this woman is great. She is confident and happy. She used Adam’s positive energy to help guide her towards her goals. This is when fantarding is a good thing. Let’s make her “Queen of the fantards.” Ellen can’t help but be impressed with that title.

        TI you have the power to make this woman’s dream come true.

        • cinemaniac86 permalink
          December 22, 2009 2:58 am

          Hahaha, “Quattro”. I love Italian ♥. Is that a Freudian typo?

          I nominate it for quattro Quattos!

          • 8sourcandy permalink
            December 22, 2009 4:11 am

            Oh, Quattos. What does that mean? Is it mole in spanish? Crap, do I need to learn a second language to be eligible? Why the hell isn’t it an Oskar? That I CAN spell!

            • cinemaniac86 permalink
              December 22, 2009 4:25 am

              First, I wanna mention that I just learned that in Spanish, four is “cuatro”. I found it even more interesting that it becomes “quatro” in Portugese”, “quattro” in Italian, and, of course, “quatre” in French. I must learn of all the other forms because it could be great in one of those word games where you alter one letter each turn. Cook would gasm, I bet.

              Uh-oh, Holly just gasmed, too.

              Anyway, I thought about Oskars, too! But it is so similar to Oscars that it doesn’t seem original. Quattos is unique–AND it’s so TI. Quatto is TI trademark!

              Someone oughta update Urban Dictionary, as the only two definitions are:

              The oversized belly of an individual who appears to be thin in regular clothes, yet has a disproportionably large tummy.

              -OR-

              A turd that becomes stuck to a wall or other object after being thrown or catapulted through the air.

              Now, we just need someone with good photoshop skills to create a mole statuette prototype….Anyone?

            • TopIdol permalink
              December 22, 2009 4:33 am

              Quatto is actually spelled Kuato (i.e., Total Recall), but I screwed it up…should have known this / fact checked, as Total Recall is still an awesome movie. However, it then took on a life of its own and we must run with it now.

  27. 8sourcandy permalink
    December 22, 2009 1:17 am

    Deez has some good suggestions.

    • Lauren permalink
      December 22, 2009 1:22 am

      Oh you just like that your nominated 😛
      If this category actually happens I am willing to fight you to the death. Just saying. I might bring up the fact that you are way more obsessed with the Glambulge than I am.

      • 8sourcandy permalink
        December 22, 2009 1:41 am

        Lauren,
        I could only win “Most Un-Glambert-like fan of Adam” if the word bitchiest was somehow incorporated into the description! Alas, no imaginary tiara for me. 😦

        • Lauren permalink
          December 22, 2009 12:15 pm

          Haha! How about “Bitchiest Adam fan yet we still tolerate her here award”?

      • 8sourcandy permalink
        December 22, 2009 2:06 am

        “I might bring up the fact that you are way more obsessed with the Glambulge than I am.”

        It’s not that I am WAY MORE obsessed, it’s just one of the more enjoyable topics.
        The Glambulge is a single, glittery ray of sunshine poking it’s way through the gloom of tranny pee, midgets and Gokey. Plus, it pisses off all the non-Adam fans 🙂

        • Lauren permalink
          December 22, 2009 12:16 pm

          Pahaha. I love your description.

      • deez permalink
        December 22, 2009 2:31 am

        Fight to the death (lol) NOOOOOO the percentage of sane Adam fans would drop significantly!

        • 8sourcandy permalink
          December 22, 2009 3:05 am

          hahahahah!

        • Lauren permalink
          December 22, 2009 12:18 pm

          That’s true and would be a sad consequence but you know “A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.” Is anyone else here obsessed with Dr. Horrible? It might just be a teenage dork kinda thing…

  28. Lauren permalink
    December 22, 2009 1:14 am

    May I also recommend the best TI haters? If we review past posts there were some wonderful Glamberts and Gokey fans that caused quite an uproar.

  29. cinemaniac86 permalink
    December 22, 2009 1:05 am

    I think these awards should be called the Quattos ♥.

    • cinemaniac86 permalink
      December 22, 2009 1:06 am

      …Complete with mole trophies ♥.

    • TopIdol permalink
      December 22, 2009 1:07 am

      Ooooohhhhhhhh. Now that’s a good idea. Just as the Academy Awards are known as the Oscars, The These Mean Nothing Awards will be called the Quattos!

      • cinemaniac86 permalink
        December 22, 2009 1:13 am

        Yesssss. It will be perhaps the most epic and unique awards show of the year. (Yes, even besting the AMAs debacle(s).) Can’t wait for Quatto to get an honorary Quatto for being Quatto as well.

        Yay! I feel validated.

      • erinnthered permalink
        December 22, 2009 1:33 am

        Best comeback. 1) Quatto jr, 2) HBD – from the bottom of the cannon fodder barrel, 3) Don Draper – “I don’t have a contract” (season 2, I know, but still awesome), 4) ? drawing a blank for a fourth, but I know someone else will have a great suggestion

        • cinemaniac86 permalink
          December 22, 2009 1:35 am

          Perhaps Megan saying “I love you Simon, but I don’t care”? :D.

          • erinnthered permalink
            December 22, 2009 3:31 am

            I think Megan deserves her own category. If not here, then at least in the Whatevias.

            • cinemaniac86 permalink
              December 22, 2009 3:41 am

              Absolutely.

              I also think that it should be mandatory to CAW after each award is presented in place of applause.

  30. deez permalink
    December 22, 2009 1:02 am

    Hmmm….

    “Gokiest” moment: (a) hearthands (b) The harp (OMG) (c) Family holding pic of DW (d) attempted sexual assault of a minor

    Most insidious tard: (a) L Anne (b) Heliotripe (c) Holly Sockpuppets (d) Celine

    Best Adam hair: (a) The Elvis (b) The emo (c) The high-rise (d) The Heatmiser

    Favorite “FoK” (Friend of Kris): (a) Charles (b) Charles (c) Charles (d) Charles

    Biggest crush on Kris: (a) Slezak (b) Jim (c) Adam (d) Katy

    Most Un-Glambert-like fan of Adam: (a) 8Sourcandy (b) Lauren (c) Lamberkitten (d) Sherena

    Thing that Scared me the most! (a) The cheesy Gokey face in this post: https://topidol.wordpress.com/2009/04/21/in-hell-everyone-dances-to-gokeyoke-in-heaven-angels-get-down-to-allison-and-kris/

    (b)These tards: https://topidol.wordpress.com/2009/04/29/topidols-big-fraking-american-idol-adventure-part-1/

    (c)The HUGE quatto pic : https://topidol.wordpress.com/2009/05/12/vote-for-the-dudes-man-enough-to-wear-blue-nail-polish-american-idol-top-3/

    (BTW that last link has the awesome pics of HBD on the verge of beating the shit out of Gokey, Oh Kris why did you have to turn the other cheek ? What I would not have given to witness that “eye for an eye!”)

    • Lauren permalink
      December 22, 2009 1:09 am

      I love you. I just love you.

    • TopIdol permalink
      December 22, 2009 1:09 am

      I love it when I am proven right…from my review of HBD’s She Works Hard For The Money in the post with Deez’ favorite Gokeypic. (I do sometimes want to go back through my old posts and be nicer to Mrs. Allen. But hey, I had never heard her talk…I mean, its part of my schtick…)

      Hello? KILLER ENDING. How the frak are people creaming themselves over Gokey when this guy is on the show? Really. Could someone PLEASE answer this question for me, because that was one of the more interesting takes I’ve seen on a song this season

      • cinemaniac86 permalink
        December 22, 2009 1:16 am

        Holla @ this. The bongos were fantastic.

        You know what was funny? How people derided this because they thought it was too smooth for a song about hookers….The song is NOT about hookers! It’s from the ’80s–the females-in-the-workplace era. Kris singing that was basically like an ode to all business women for getting their corporate on.

        That was really the only sort of complaint they could make about it, haha. Telling.

        • TopIdol permalink
          December 22, 2009 1:24 am

          Ah, memories. You know, taking this little trip down memory lane is making me remember how much I love bashing Shit-For-Brains DioGuardi and the uselessness of Randy Jackson.

          I believe THIS IS THE POST Deez was referring to. Heh heh.

          And the photos. Before the infamous duet:
          Image and video hosting by TinyPic

          And AFTER:
          Image and video hosting by TinyPic

          • cinemaniac86 permalink
            December 22, 2009 1:30 am

            Ah, Shit-For-Brains DOGuardi. (I like how it’s common to spell it out, rather than make it an acronym like HBD. It’s important that one sees the word “shit” to fully comprehend her irrelevance.) I have 12 words for you: You’re no Paula.

            • erinnthered permalink
              December 22, 2009 1:37 am

              Dumbest shit-for-brains comment? It would need to include “Studio 57″ and ” early Aerosmith” in the nominees for sure. You could call it the “for you, for me” award.

          • 8sourcandy permalink
            December 22, 2009 1:50 am

            Kris should have lost it right there. Look at that smirk. I loathe him.

            • cinemaniac86 permalink
              December 22, 2009 2:13 am

              He even does the evil chin stroke, too. Blatantly.

              Further proof Heliotripe ovulates for Satan.

            • Lauren permalink
              December 22, 2009 12:21 pm

              I know! Kris should have punched in the face and broke one of his 70 pairs of glasses! I can’t believe my mom likes Danny…I further can’t believe she shouted “Danny, can I be your optometrist?” at him during the meet and greet. But really Kris should have knocked some sense into him.

            • deez permalink
              December 22, 2009 1:45 pm

              Gaaak!! That face in the before pic is just downright ugly. For laughs, I used to go to the Gokey forums @ AI and IDF boards and read the sick musings of obviously sight-impaired people who honestly found the hideous doughboy attractive. They could barely contain themselves over his “bulging biceps”, “ripped chest” (gag reflex on auto), pants seams which were strained to the bursting point in the crotchal area. (if that was truly happening, the seams were splitting from trips to the Cheesecake Factory, Birthday cake, and midnight plundering of fridge contents…and nothing else…cannot fathom carnal thoughts of DWD)

          • deez permalink
            December 22, 2009 2:35 am

            Yes! thanks for that! I meant to post that link and for some reason, I didn’t do it. Probably temporary short term Quatto-induced memory loss.

            • TopIdol permalink
              December 22, 2009 2:37 am

              Quatto loves you.

              There will also be some ridiculous award which will be rigged for Oskar to win. That’s a given.

            • Lauren permalink
              December 22, 2009 12:37 pm

              Cutest cat that had been glambertized?

      • Brett permalink
        December 22, 2009 2:22 pm

        Man I freaking loved that performance. That was the week I stopped tuning in to see what Adam might do and started tuning in because Kris was actually so much more interesting. Say what you will. That boy had some real moments on that show. He didn’t win just because of Heartless (or homophobia).

    • Verbally Dyslexic permalink
      December 22, 2009 11:01 pm

      Favorite “FoK” (Friend of Kris): (a) Charles (b) Charles (c) Charles (d) Charles

      I’d put Cale into the mix. Cale makes a good twitter sidekick.

      • TopIdol permalink
        December 22, 2009 11:05 pm

        There is another one who is awesome. Hell, I’m forgetting his name now but he rules.

  31. cinemaniac86 permalink
    December 22, 2009 12:47 am

    1) Hottest Jon Hamm moment of 2009.

    2) Hottest shirtless Jon Hamm moment of 2009.

    • on the edge permalink
      December 22, 2009 1:12 am

      2) pretty much answers 1), doesn’t it?

      • cinemaniac86 permalink
        December 22, 2009 1:20 am

        Haha, this is true.

        But I like to keep Hamm’s fur and Hamm’s snoggable face in two completely separate categories. The more Quattos for Hamm, the better.

    • erinnthered permalink
      December 22, 2009 1:21 am

      Add hottest smoker, male. The winner would be Jon Hamm, of course.

      • TopIdol permalink
        December 22, 2009 1:37 am

        Yes, Jon Hamm would totally win the Quatto for BEST FAUX AD EXECUTIVE over Holly Sockpuppets!

        • 8sourcandy permalink
          December 22, 2009 3:12 am

          I like that one.

        • freedavidcook permalink
          December 22, 2009 10:06 am

          1) Hottest man wearing a suit – Jon Hamm
          2) Hottest man in 60s causal – Jon Hamm
          3) Hottest guy laying on the carpet beat up – Jon Hamm

  32. 8sourcandy permalink
    December 21, 2009 11:26 pm

    1. Top male celebs that approach the hottness of Jon Hamm…but don’t quite get there, because come on! It’s Jon Hamm! 1) Fabio 2) Danny Gokey 3) Clay Aiken
    all three seem very Hamm-like to me.

    2. Most psychotic fantard tweets (this could go down to the wire). Well, there was this one time when I was drunk…

    3. Funniest Kris Allen tweets. The time he told Santa that he was going to shit himself and tweeted about it. I think there was a twitpic too. Not of the shit stained pants, but of Santa.

    4. Most devoted Glambert whose sense of humor has remained intact. Do you mean in the world or just here?

    5. Reader comment that was most likely to cause Cherry Coke Zero to come out of “on the edge’s” nose…or pretty much anyone and any drink of choice. I sort of remember that happening…I can’t remember the post. I bet it was Adam’s album cover.

    • Verbally Dyslexic permalink
      December 22, 2009 10:58 pm

      1. Top male celebs that approach the hottness of Jon Hamm…but don’t quite get there, because come on! It’s Jon Hamm! 1) Fabio

      8sourcandy, I’m gonna stop you right there. Jon Hamm can only dream of achieving half of Fabio’s Crisco-slathered greatness! *grins and runs away from TI’s death stare*.

      • Verbally Dyslexic permalink
        December 22, 2009 10:58 pm

        Oh crap xhmtl fail.

  33. on the edge permalink
    December 21, 2009 11:10 pm

    1. Top male celebs that approach the hottness of Jon Hamm…but don’t quite get there, because come on! It’s Jon Hamm!

    2. Most psychotic fantard tweets (this could go down to the wire).

    3. Funniest Kris Allen tweets.

    4. Most devoted Glambert whose sense of humor has remained intact.

    5. Reader comment that was most likely to cause Cherry Coke Zero to come out of “on the edge’s” nose…or pretty much anyone and any drink of choice.

    I’ll work on nominees later.

    • 8sourcandy permalink
      December 21, 2009 11:35 pm

      on the edge,
      You can’t answer one question just to brown-nose TI.

    • Lauren permalink
      December 22, 2009 1:07 am

      I nominate myself for number 4.

    • on the edge permalink
      December 22, 2009 1:24 am

      1) I was thinking more like Cook, Kris, any hot guy from SYTYCD, Nigel Barker, etc….now, I think they are hot, but we’re in TI’s house, and in TI’s house Jon Hamm IS The Hotness.

      2) I’d have to go through them, but Heliotripe, Daina the baldtard, and ESPECIALLY Neal’s stalker Celine would all qualify…but I want to I.D. individual psycho-tweet achievement.

      3) Some funny ones from Kris (I think):

      “Watching 20 sexiest videos on fuse and still looking for mine. Almost to #1 (fingers crossed). ”

      “Gonna get lost in NYC today. If you see a guy crying in the middle of the road, help him. It’s probably me.”

      “Driver was holding a sign that said kravitz at the airport. Got really excited and it ended up being some middle aged woman.”

      “Dear Snuggie, you have fooled for so long but I know your secret. All you are is a backwards robe! You will pay Snuggie….You will pay.”

      “Santa just asked me if I s@*$ my pants!”

      Oh, and pretty much the entire Twit Pic/Skymall marathon.

      4) Duh, pretty much any Lambert fan that posts here on a regular basis! Unless you know of others that haven’t lost their snark gene? In which case why aren’t they here yet?

      5) This one I’ll have to get back to you…it may have been a Gokey comment, but I remember cleaning off my laptop and my nose burning afterwards. I gotta back-read some.

    • December 22, 2009 8:02 am

      5. Pretty much anything where response is a simple Hater or Homophobe will get me chuckling – most comments here though are genius – one from recent memory – I forget who from (sorry and too busy to go looking) but was in response to 8sourcandy who had put her spin on what Adam may have been thinking or something and the response had in there “so, when Adam wrote you that note….” and the rest of it had me spitting out diet coke for days! And of course 8sourcandy’s response – pretty much “F.U” was another legendary highlight. I will find it when get a min!

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