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Let’s fill the minority quota: AI Season 9 (Top 24 cont.)

February 18, 2010

Tonight, the rest of American Idol’s Top 24 will be announced. And I’m really bored. Perhaps because we’re kicking things off with Tim Tebow’s girlfriend, Janell Wheeler. And Janell Wheeler is boring!

Janell Wheeler’s voice is…meh. But she has long legs and enjoys showing them off with short skirts. That, blond hair and a nice rack might even earn you a spot in the semifinals without having a tragic back story involving your pet snail.

Tyler Grady wants to be Jim Morrison because he saw Val Kilmer play him once in a really, really bad Oliver Stone biopic. Has anyone else noticed they always let Kara DioGuardi deliver the good news to slender white men?

(I feel really, really gay-in-an-80s-way that I am always a tiny bit happy to see Kris Allen doing REAL Ford Commercials. And just like clockwork, I am then left to ponder whether or not I would sleep with Luke Wilson.)

Lacey Brown made it to the Top 50 last year. And lost. And this year, she’s oh-so close. Just as I’m about to think she will be screwed again, Simon tells her its REALLY GOOD NEWS. After hearing her rendition of What a Wonderful World, I gotta admit, I want to hear more of her voice.

Naturally, one of my least favorites, Ashley Rodriguez, makes it through. If my general disdain for her could be measured in fake-ass cocktail rings, it still would be like, 20x the size of the one she was wearing. I bet that piece of crap came from Kara DioGuardi’s new line of jewelry for HSN and its called Reach for the Mediocrity.

Alex Lambert and Joe Munoz make it because we totally need male cannon fodder. I’m actually including a photo of little Joe Munoz now, as we will likely see even less of him than last year’s poor, sacrificial lamb Jorge Nunez.

Yay! Crystal Bowersox time! Crystal Bowersox is fast becoming my favorite contestant of this year’s shittier-than-normal season. She’s totally my plucky single mom of choice. And obviously, she is super, super cool because she bides her time with Lilly Scott.

Naturally, we all know (including Simon Cowell) Crystal Bowersox is wayyyyy too good for this Idol bullshit, but we’re still super happy she made it! Crystal (Mama Sox?) is also smart enough to bring both her baby and her pepaw! I like the way she thinks! She totally knows what’s up.

Katie Stevens is a no brainer. I can also tell you EVERY SINGLE SONG SHE WILL SING THIS SEASON. It’s just like the game I play in random cities when I end up in random bars with some no-name cover band. Call out the songs you know they will play. I used to always win with that Matchbox 20 shit, 3AM Eternal. Ellen tells Katie she’s made it through, using the same schtick she’s been using on everyone she tells. Come on, Ellen! You’re more original than that, aren’t you? I would like to imagine Simon was being a smart ass on Katie’s way out.

Your grandma will be happy.

How much do you wanna bet people are already raising money to get her grandmother and a wheelchair on a plane to LAX right about…now? For chrissake, my memaws were evil bitches. One of them had me baptized and never told my parents or me. Seriously. Bitch asked me when are you gonna be Catholic for your grandmother her entire life when she had my sister drive her to the church when I was an infant.

Bye bye, douchey douche guy. Now return to your brethren of Lost London Brothers.

And this girl? Who is she? She is wayyyy too young to be drawing on eyebrows, I tell ya. Way too young!


And now for American Idol’s cruelest moment, the elimination of Angela Martin. The three-time auditioner who actually has a REAL LIFE HOLY HELL TRAGIC BACK STORY. And even though she has the most tragic back story in the history of American Idol, she still has a great weave.



You’re one of the bravest people I’ve ever met. And I’m gonna remember you forever, Angela.

Like this is supposed to make her feel better? It would send me to the nearest ledge.

Please make it all go away, Lilly Scott. Make it all go away. You even tried singing Hall & Oates’ Rich Girl! I love you. I want you and Crystal Bowersox to teach me how to sing. We can all be besties! The beautiful moment when Lilly is told she she is going through is nearly ruined by Shit-For-Brains DioGuardi, naturally, but I’m trying really, really hard not to dwell on it!

Paige Miles (who?) and Siobhan Magnus made it. As did Michelle Delamor. And Jermaine Sellers? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Oh. And look who else made it. JOHN PARK. GO ASIAN GO ASIAN GO ASIAN. Show the world Asians can take over American Idol just like the Olympic Games.

But I think they made a mistake on which Jermaine to take. Purifory was soooo much better than Sellers, dammit!

It’s teen vs. teen? Haeley Vaughan vs. Tori Kelly. I already know they go with Haeley Vaughn, who drives me nuts. I don’t care that she’s a country-singing black girl. I feel super bad every time I say she looks like a tranny because I know she’s just a kid, but I just can’t…

For the 1001th time, Simon stresses how this year just has so many strong girls. Sorry, Tori. You’re out. It’s not gonna happen for you this time.

I might cry after the break, as Andrew Garcia is pitted against Thaddeus Johnson (and his AWESOME ADORABLE MAMA). Well…Thaddeus is only 17, so he has lots of time. Andrew Garcia is a former gang banger with a wife and kid in his mid 20s. You know what happens. But I loved Thaddeus and his Mama, dammit. I LOVE THEM.

Because I’m typing furiously, I left the commercials on. And I see what is obviously the greatest idea EVER. At least in the realm of traveling with children. Or just in the realm of children. As a whole.

Frankly, I’m just not ready to say goodbye to Thaddeus Johnson. Or Mama Johnson. No way. No day. NEVER. Thaddeus is told he did nothing wrong, that he was great, but he did not make it. Obviously, Michael Lynche filled their big black dude quota for the year.

Watching Thaddeus and his friend walk away in tears, with cameras tailing them, is making me get all teary eyed. And then there is his mother! And the camera men followed him into them into the bathroom when he went to collect himself. Just when I think Idol can’t get any worse, it always does…

We know what happens next. Andrew Garcia goes through. Andrew Garcia, please stop reminding me of Danny Gokey. Maybe its just the fashion eyewear? Hmmmm…I’ve got my eye on you.

And Tim Urban (huh?) who is now in the Top 24 because OMG ORPHAN BOY Chris Golightly was disqualified yesterday, for allegedly failing to tell producers about a previous recording contract. Somewhere Orphan Boy, there are frauen crying over this injustice tonight.

Now I’m not buying into this its a girls’ year crap, however, I’m not really feeling anyone…except for Crystal Bowersox and Lilly Scott. Who are girls. Oh well. They’re special.

135 Comments leave one →
  1. d. b. cooper permalink
    February 19, 2010 11:23 pm

    DUDE’S MOM FOLLOWED HER 17 YEAR-OLD SON INTO THE BATHROOM. That woman is a nightmare, I guarantee.

    • Louis Johnson permalink
      February 20, 2010 11:38 pm

      wow, your mind is so small, you should start the first grade all over again. They staged that for your information, he was walking down the hall, and one of the producers told them to go in there for privacy. Sounds like you don’t know what a good mother is.

      • d. b. cooper permalink
        February 21, 2010 11:48 pm

        Louis, do you do that to your son? Do you still breast feed him? If so, good luck with that.

        As far as the staged thing, people have choices, she should have said no.

        • Louis Johnson permalink
          February 22, 2010 11:35 am

          It shows that you are a very bitter person, taking it out on others online. I am going to pray that the Lord deliver you and enrich you with His love. I pray that God will bless you and give you the strength to face the trial you will face the upcoming week. Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. That means something said was in your thoughts. Remember when you point one finger, where are the other fingers pointed. I pray you have the opportunity to even try to live a dream after the Lord restores your health and your mind. Be Blessed.

          You will be in my prayers daily.

          • Mithra permalink
            February 22, 2010 1:37 pm

            Mr. Johnson,

            Please ignore d. b. cooper. How rude of him/her. Pretty much everyone knows now how much Idol stages situations. After a long stressful day I’m sure the last thing they were going to do is question things. If the producer said to go in their for privacy, they were lying as usual and that’s a lowdown trick. They pull those stunts all the time. Countless former contestants have reported to have been manipulated in person and then edited in a way that is not reality.

            best wishes, and I hope all is well

            • Louis Johnson permalink
              February 22, 2010 6:43 pm

              Thanks, I am really going to lift him or she up in prayer. anytime a person is that bitter needs prayer. We knew all of that going in, we had to sign papers to be ready for anything. Bad comments and statements makes us strong and makes us be able to pray for those who are Miserable

  2. carmine2008 permalink
    February 19, 2010 2:53 pm

    Okay, I did say I few comments back that my money’s on Tim Urban, but Crystal Bowersox is full of win!!! It’s just unfortunate that she reminds me (physically) of professional tennis player Dinara Safina.

  3. notarding permalink
    February 19, 2010 2:25 pm

    i love asian guys, so yeah John Park is my fav, but I know he is just cannon fodder. The frau hates the minority!

    • Lauren permalink
      February 19, 2010 4:36 pm

      NO! NO! NO! We need to counter the frau! Maybe the Kristards here could teach me how to power-vote? ( I kid.)

      ~Park Bench #0069~

  4. February 19, 2010 3:23 am

    Hoping it is OK to leave this here for Lauren to see – her definition has made it’s way to AO! he he
    Ok, got rid of the Sparkle Cow handle in the title after reading the definition in the Urban dictionary. YIKES!

    • Lauren permalink
      February 19, 2010 9:19 am

      Oh my…I’m famous now! xD I’m glad they are deciding not to embrace that term. Thanks for showing me that bc.

      • deez permalink
        February 19, 2010 9:42 am

        Just read that thread, you’ve obviously touched a nerve there. There is much “mooing and gnashing of hooves”.

        (I stole that phrase from somebody, I would credit…but I can’t remember who said it)

        • Lauren permalink
          February 19, 2010 4:05 pm

          Oops! I didn’t bother reading the thread. They don’t read this blog so I think the stampede won’t be able to get me.

  5. Louis Johnson permalink
    February 19, 2010 12:55 am

    I am thankful for all the comments on my son Thaddeus Johnson both good and bad. Being behind the scenes at idol that is so much the public don’t know. First this is a business and part reality show, the show is not based on the best singing. I am sad how They did Thaddeus but he will grow out of this. No one on here could ever know how a person feels to be rejection with out a reason. They bleep Thaddeus out coming out the door like he sad a bad word and he didn’t what he did say was God I don’t understand. and they bleep out the word God. I hope we all have some type of dream to pursue. How would you feel if you was at work and your boss told you that you was a great employee and your work was awesome but you did not deserve a promotion, the news would hurt you also in the beginning, but you would move on. This has made Thaddeus stronger and mature even more. It is easy to judge on the outside looking in but that what makes our country what it is, having the freedom to speak how you feel. Thaddeus has very strong family support and will make it. I thank of of you once again for all of your comments both good and bad.

    Proud Father.

    • TopIdol permalink
      February 19, 2010 1:10 am

      I loved Thaddeus and was sad to see him go. I loved watching him with his mother, too. Idol edits so much to manipulate the audience, and the contestants. This makes me sad.

      I wish nothing but the best for you, Thaddeus and the rest of your family. He’s an awesomely talented kid, and I hope to see him again in the future. And if he ever wants to talk about his experiences, I would love to interview him. He is someone the audience will remember long after last night.

    • saskin permalink
      February 19, 2010 8:32 am

      Louis Johnson; if it makes you feel better, that is exactly what we thought while watching the show. Based on singing ability Thaddeus deserved to go forward a lot more than at least 4 or 5 boys who were not at all strong singers but (IMO) were cast as cannon fodders. Best of luck to Thaddeus!

    • auntieaimee permalink
      February 19, 2010 10:02 am

      Louis, Thaddeus seems like a great kid and he should have been put through. As everyone knows, they don’t always put through the best singers and sometimes they cut people who they believe might pull votes from their favorites. They already have in mind the type of singer they are looking to promote this year and the judges have mentioned it in multiple interviews (girl, Taylor Swift type). What they don’t realize is that after a year of the Taylor Swift full court press, people are ready to hear something new. I hope Thaddeus doesn’t let it get him down, because he seems like a positive person and someone fun to be around. You should be proud.

      • Louis permalink
        February 19, 2010 5:17 pm

        Thanks for a comment and taking some of your precious time. This experience really allowed Thaddeus to mature seemingly over night. Other doors has open for him. Keep him in your prayers


        • deez permalink
          February 19, 2010 5:56 pm

          Good for Thaddeus!! Everyone here is rooting for him!

          • Louis permalink
            February 19, 2010 6:14 pm

            Thanks Deez, He is back smiling,

            • deez permalink
              February 19, 2010 10:07 pm

              Louis, since he is only 17, do you think he will try again next year?

              • Louis Johnson permalink
                February 20, 2010 11:35 pm

                I am not sure, if he wants to. We are leaving it up to him. Behind the scenes they have to go through so much and I personally would not want him to, but if he decides to, pray for him, smile.

                • TopIdol permalink
                  February 20, 2010 11:49 pm

                  I can’t even imagine what they have to endure. Personally, I had a big problem with them following him into the bathroom. I thought it was out of line.

                  Your son has a lot of fans on this blog. And I’m hoping Todrick Hall gets DQ-ed. Would much rather see Thaddeus in that idiot’s place.

                  • Louis Johnson permalink
                    February 21, 2010 12:09 am

                    Thanks, for taking the time to comment. This whole experience has been both good and bad, but such is life that what makes us learn and keep striving forward.

        • Mithra permalink
          February 19, 2010 10:03 pm

          That’s great news! I thought he should have gone through as well. Just remember it’s a TV show. For whatever reason they select the final cast and it says nothing about the talent of those who don’t make the final cut. It’s great that he got the screen time and experience that he had. Wonderful to hear that it’s opening doors. Strike while that iron is hot. Nice to see he has such nice and supportive parents too πŸ™‚

          • Louis Johnson permalink
            February 20, 2010 11:36 pm

            thanks for the reply and support.

  6. Mary permalink
    February 19, 2010 12:12 am

    I know this post is about AI 9 is over but check out what the biggest sparkle cow said about Kris Allen going to Haiti..

    he really is a fat, ignorant douche isn’t he?

    • Lauren permalink
      February 19, 2010 12:29 am

      Yes, yes he is. These two comments make my life:

      Don’t be such a hater Perez. It’s not Kris’s fault that he’s a cute twink everyone wants to fuck and you’re not.

      you’re such a dickhole, perez. at least he’s fucking helping, unlike you and the money you have but rather spend on underage male hookers -_-

      • Mary permalink
        February 19, 2010 12:36 am

        LOOLL those comments made my day…

        Did you know he’s actually begging to replace Simon’s spot on the judge’s table next year? I’m kinda scared that 19E would actually consider it….god help us all!

        • Lauren permalink
          February 19, 2010 5:26 pm

          And that would be the last time I watched Idol. Same with Stern. They better find someone who isn’t a douchebag and FAST! Or maybe offer Simon a crapload of money if he stayed?

      • TopIdol permalink
        February 19, 2010 12:43 am

        I hate Perez Hilton. He’s useless. I think the only reason Simon Cowell said he would make a good judge is b/c he knows Idol will be irrelevant without him. And Perez Hilton is now irrelevant. He’s like the MySpace of gossip blogs.

        • margie permalink
          February 19, 2010 4:01 am

          Perez is as important as a pimple on someone’s ass…wait that is his face. I can’t stand that guy. I will not give him hits for his site.

          • 8sourcandy permalink
            February 19, 2010 5:50 pm

            I, too, find his ass and face indistinguishable.

  7. blacklisted permalink
    February 18, 2010 10:38 pm

    Without hearing them sing, I already despise the fat hispanic guy, the tranny black country singer, the Jim Morrison wannabe and the blonde bimbos.

    Without even watching a performance I want to bang John Park.

    • Lauren permalink
      February 18, 2010 10:56 pm

      Everyone wants to band John Park. I think I have ever seen all of us agree so wholeheartedly on something…

      • Lauren permalink
        February 18, 2010 10:56 pm

        Typo I thought I stopped it in time…oh well

    • Lauren permalink
      February 18, 2010 10:56 pm

      Everyone wants to bang John Park. I think I have ever seen all of us agree so wholeheartedly on something…

      • blacklisted permalink
        February 18, 2010 10:57 pm

        As long as it’s unanimous.

        • jonoave permalink
          February 18, 2010 11:09 pm

          Not really for me. He’s risen in the looks department slightly for me, but he’s still only slightly (just a wee bit) good-looking for me. And of course, that’s saying a lot in comparison to the rest of the guys on Top 24.

          Though I wouldn’t exactly say no if John comes down on begging knees. πŸ˜›

          • Lauren permalink
            February 18, 2010 11:13 pm

            Hmmmm I’ll count that as a “I want to bang John Park”
            It is still unanimous.

            • February 19, 2010 2:42 am

              My American Idol Heart belongs to Anoop’s bushy yet strangely endearing eyebrows, but John Park’s artfully placed side-swiped bangs are a MIGHTY close second.

            • Verbally Dyslexic permalink
              February 19, 2010 3:03 am

              You would be in sooo much trouble if you find yourself in South Korea.. πŸ™‚

              • Lauren permalink
                February 19, 2010 9:21 am

                I hope to one day! That would be fun place to visit/ live!

    • saskin permalink
      February 19, 2010 9:14 am

      Heyyyyy! Say anything you want about the blond bimbos but Haeley is my girl. She is awesome. She makes my heart melt.

  8. Nich permalink
    February 18, 2010 10:00 pm

    The first time I saw Paige I said Who the hell are YOU? and I still don’t know where she came from. I never even saw a glance of her. So random.

    I’m rooting for Bowersox and Casey and John Park and I’ve already got a few people to hate: Todrick, the three interchangable blondes (Didi, DIVORCEKatelyn, Janell).

    • jukejoint permalink
      February 18, 2010 10:05 pm

      I cannot tell Janell and Didi apart in pictures. Interchangeable blondes out first! (Talk to Kady Malloy and Alaina Whitaker about it.)

      • Nich permalink
        February 18, 2010 10:12 pm

        I have a feeling one of them will become the Kristy Lee Cook/Megan Joy contestant that I loathe all the way through the show. I seriously hated those two.

      • TopIdol permalink
        February 18, 2010 11:10 pm

        True dat. True dat!

  9. 8sourcandy permalink
    February 18, 2010 8:14 pm

    Another great recap.

    I was sooo bored too. With the exception of Lily Scott and Bowersox, it was complete amateur hour. Casey is cute, so he can round out the top three.

    When do we get out contestant?

    • Lauren permalink
      February 18, 2010 8:56 pm

      *cough* JOHN PARK *cough*

      ~Park Bench #0069~

      I really want him for the tard contest! I already have a signature!

      • Nich permalink
        February 18, 2010 10:10 pm

        I might have to help you tard a little.

        • Lauren permalink
          February 18, 2010 10:12 pm

          Pshhh is my tarding not up to par? Or are you saying you want to tard over JOHN PARK too????????????

  10. Mithra permalink
    February 18, 2010 4:28 pm

    I’m curious, did the really bad editing from last night’s show bother anyone? Aside from the hilariously bad job they did trying to deal with “Orphan”. I mean, it’s AI so they always do a shlock job and seem to get away with it because they probably rightly believe their audience is filled with idiots who won’t catch it, and people who do and like to laugh at how inept they are. The timeline on who’s up next was messed up. Except for the very end, when the room actually was empty, it was so clear that they were not presenting contestants in the order they were going to the chair. People who made it could be seen anxiously waiting 10 minutes and six people later. It was pretty glaring. I don’t recall it being that sloppy other seasons, but maybe I’ve forgotten.

    • 8sourcandy permalink
      February 18, 2010 8:19 pm

      The bad editing was the only interesting thing about the show.

      • Mithra permalink
        February 18, 2010 10:21 pm

        True! It’s like an Ed Wood wanabee edited it, while drunk and blindfolded, but they didn’t even give them cool found footage and tin foil space ships, Tor Johnson, and Bela Lugosi. They had to edit American Idol, and that must suck.

        There are some interesting articles posted by Batchild at VFTW on the whole “scandal”:

        One of them has an interesting comment by “Orphan”, if we can believe him. He claims that he was the last to make it. The show played up that it was Garcia vs Thaddeus. Spoilers said it was Angela Martin who went last. Now I can’t even remember which two girls went last.

        • Mithra permalink
          February 18, 2010 10:33 pm

          I forgot to add this hilarious quote by “Orphan:

          I’m a foster kid and just because I have no connections, the big people, they can do this to me? This is not fair, man! It’s like my music is crushed now. Am I gonna do karaoke now, or what?”


          • Lauren permalink
            February 18, 2010 10:36 pm

            Ok I was sympathizing with him but now…he’s pimping his own backstory. It’s not even like Idol is making him. “Oh poor me. I’m a foster kid.”

            • blacklisted permalink
              February 18, 2010 10:45 pm

              Lauren! A little OT but did you watch the Adam Donor’s Choose chat? OMG, he was so freaking adorable. Adam answered that it was HE who asked Kris to be his roommate. This was after Kris moved in with him earlier on during the group rounds. We finally figured out how the hell that roommate situation came about. Oh and he said he was glad because Kris was chill…and also cute.

              • jonoave permalink
                February 18, 2010 10:53 pm

                But I remembered that during an earlier interview (maybe the Rolling Stones one or some TV interview) that he said Kris was “distracting! They put me together with the only guy I found attractive!”.

                By “they”, I assume he meant producers. And back then on the Knoll, there were speculations that the roommate pairings were deliberate to increase drama potential, eg Adam-Kris (gay vs conservative), Allison-Lil (rocker chic vs single mama with small kids), Anoop-Danny (urban college guy vs small town church musical guy). And I’m using these silly stereotypes very loosely.

                That’s weird. Not him picking Kris, cos I would totally do that. But interesting that Adam gets to pick his roommate. Did the rest do the same or is everyone just like “whatever”?

                • blacklisted permalink
                  February 18, 2010 11:03 pm

                  I think what happened was that Kris became Adam’s roommate when they were the two guys who made it through Group 2. If Megan had made it, she would have been paired with Allison as a roomie.

                  During the two weeks they waited for the results of Group 3 and Wildcard to be decided on they became friends. Therefore, when they moved to the mansion they felt that they would do well as roommates since they had already spent a few weeks as roommates while they were awaiting the results of the rest of the Top 13.

              • Lauren permalink
                February 18, 2010 10:58 pm

                YES! YES! YES! I watched! It was amazing!
                jonoave, they put them together at a hotel and they enjoyed living/ sleeping with each other so much, Adam asked Kris to be his roommate for the rest of the competition.

                • blacklisted permalink
                  February 18, 2010 11:05 pm

                  Adam did not say that they enjoyed sleeping together! But….his eyes implied that he enjoyed watching Kris sleep and wake up, looking drowsy and fuckable. Okay, let’s stop before TI bans both of us for stepping on the RPF train!

                  • Lauren permalink
                    February 18, 2010 11:12 pm

                    That was my little commentary xD. TI won’t ban us. She loves us too much!

  11. notarding permalink
    February 18, 2010 3:08 pm

    I am totaly tarding over John Park even though I’ve seen him like twice, briefly. I like Bowersox too and lilly. The rest are just a bore and littl orphan trannie was rightfully bounced!

    • Mithra permalink
      February 18, 2010 3:17 pm

      I’m actually kinda sad he was bounced. He’s perfect to hate. Now it’s all up to Todrick and possibly fuglier Gokey. Oh, and Kara. AI is a soap opera reality show – it needs good villians to get pissed off at. Otherwise it would be so boring I’d fall asleep.

      • Lauren permalink
        February 18, 2010 4:29 pm

        As long as Kara is always there, we will not get bored. She is enough villain.

      • erinnthered permalink
        February 18, 2010 5:03 pm

        Todrick seems like he has a lot of hate on him to go around. What a douchebag.

        Still not sure what the beef is with Andrew. So, he was a gang banger. He’s reformed, no? I don’t hate on contestants because of pimping. That’s not their fault, for the most part. I do dislike obviously untalented contestants who get by on a backstory or looks. He seems talented, so is there something douchey he said or did from the auditions that missed? He didn’t seem to have much screen time in the Hollywood week episodes. I haven’t seen top 24 yet, so maybe I should just wait.

  12. Full Tilt permalink
    February 18, 2010 1:52 pm

    LeighKat, you SO owe me a new keyboard! Your assessment of the top 24 had me spitting water all over mine.

    Half the people they put through? I swear to God I’d never seen before. I like MamaSox, but I don’t think she’s got a chance in hell of winning. I also like John Park, not that I’ve heard him sing since his audition. I like that kid Aaron someone (though he has a disturbing Kevin Covais vibe to him) who was adopted by his aunt and uncle because his parents were douches. I liked Tim Urban at his audition, then had barely seen him since and was sure that he got eliminated at the group round. I am so over Haeley and hope she leaves pronto. Tyler Grady was kind of cute at his audition but seriously, his face is messed up and I don’t think he’s that great a singer either. No one who either looks like or sounds like Gokey will ever be a fave of mine. Why had I never seen that Lee guy before he was put through? Did he even audition? I think Jannell Wheeler was picked solely for the Tebow connection, because her singing was nothing to write home about either.

    • Pandora permalink
      February 18, 2010 2:02 pm

      I think Janell Wheeler is there because Simon can’t live without his hot blondes. Since Megan flamed out so early last year they gave him two this time in hopes that one of them will last longer.

      • auntieaimee permalink
        February 18, 2010 2:42 pm

        Absolutely. Janell is there because she is hot. The end.

    • Mithra permalink
      February 18, 2010 2:10 pm

      his face is messed up and I don’t think he’s that great a singer either.

      That doesn’t matter because the sparkle cows have been hearding towards him for months now. They don’t mind Adam looking like a 70 year old Liza Minelli impersonator who screeches like a hair metal band singer meets theatre geek. Tyler Grady just has footface. It’s a step up πŸ˜€

      • 8sourcandy permalink
        February 18, 2010 8:26 pm

        Tyler Grady is unappealing. The sparkle cows will be lusting for Casey James. Unless it’s revealed that one of the contestants is gay and then they will attach themselves to that one.

        • Lauren permalink
          February 18, 2010 8:58 pm

          I bet John Park is gay. It would be just my luck. I told my friend he was my favorite guy this season and the first question she asked was “He’s gay, isn’t he?”

          • Mithra permalink
            February 18, 2010 10:28 pm

            He looked and acted a hell of a lot like Danny Noriega during that quick “dance” segment at the end of the show:

            Just sayin…

        • Mithra permalink
          February 18, 2010 10:26 pm

          Last I checked, about a month ago, they were giving out numbers still, and it was a long list.

          You’re right about the gay thing. But they DENY IT. It’s so funny. Adam wasn’t gay for forever. They claimed the pics were photoshopped or from a show and he was acting.

          I bet Casey had some gay time in prison…

    • LeighKat permalink
      February 18, 2010 2:50 pm

      hahaa! Keyboard replacement being sent via courier. I will now have to put a disclaimer on all my posts!

      This season is going to be one massive ball of entertainment. I can just feel it.

  13. margie permalink
    February 18, 2010 12:59 pm

    I just listened to Tim Urban…he can’t sing.

    • Pandora permalink
      February 18, 2010 4:05 pm

      Since when does that matter? Scott Macintyre, anyone?

      • Nich permalink
        February 18, 2010 10:20 pm

        He was so boring and so bad. Hated him.

  14. saskin permalink
    February 18, 2010 11:51 am

    So when are you going to announce the tarding contest pairings TI? They all sound quite bad so I don’t care. But I hope I get Haeley because she looks like my 6 yo niece gave her a make-over. I totally approve of that. I even let my niece give me make-overs and go out in public looking like that ’cause it is fun(ny) which means it will be very easy for me to dress up like Haeley for the Idol concert (not that I’ll go, but I’ll dress up to watch the cellcast).

  15. tinawina permalink
    February 18, 2010 11:49 am

    Bowersox is THE SHIT, but there is no way she is going to win this show. None. That actually makes me happy though, because if anyone every needed to make a quirky album its her. They would never let her make the right kind of album for her if she won.

    I just want her to make the tour, cause then I’d go.

    • stanless permalink
      February 18, 2010 1:14 pm

      I love Bowersox too. My only question is the teeth. Does she chew tobacco, cuz those are some nasty-ass stains she’s got there.
      I don’t want her to win, either. Hopefully she’ll be like Daughtry and be a surprise early cut and still put out the best album of the year for the group.

      • tinawina permalink
        February 18, 2010 4:20 pm

        Yes, the teeth are…. unfortunate. They better get that whitener ready! I want the Daughtry type run for her too. Stay long enough to build a good fanbase and land the attention of a record label, then get off that puppy on the first rain running.

        • saskin permalink
          February 18, 2010 7:45 pm

          I liked Bowersox before she realized that she really wants this. Now that she really wants it… meh. I don’t think she is a good karaoke singer anyways.

        • jukejoint permalink
          February 18, 2010 8:28 pm

          I really like her. But I wonder if she’s right for a recording contract, anyway. She seems like a perfect Lilith Fair type in-person artist. But record? Not so sure.

    • Nich permalink
      February 18, 2010 10:21 pm

      Bowersox needs to make the tour, I agree!

  16. kimberly permalink
    February 18, 2010 10:27 am

    Casey James reminds me of a boyfriend I had senior year of high school and all through college. The whole tall, long blond-haired, blue-eyed thing going on, but my old boyfriend was an English Major and aspiring novelist. He wanted to get married, I didn’t. He wanted to work at home writing. I did as well. We’d be living in a box. Before the above mentioned boyfriend, I was madly in love with another blond long-haired, blue-eyed guitar playing guy who took a poem I wrote and put music to it. He was on the rebound and the old girlfriend suddenly wanted him back. Broke my heart. Casey James gives me this weird deja vu feeling.

    Again, my favs are Crystal Bowersox and Lily Scott. I remembered her last name! Katie Stevens is my daughter’s favorite because of the Connecticut connection.

  17. carmine2008 permalink
    February 18, 2010 9:57 am

    My money’s on Tim Urban. I’m going to tard over him the entire season. Hahaha.

    • auntieaimee permalink
      February 18, 2010 10:54 am

      What’s the deal with Tim Urban? He totally butchered that David Cook song and he has dopey hair. Am I missing something?

    • saskin permalink
      February 18, 2010 11:17 am

      I seriously don’t like the 7o’s boy. If I were his mother, I would smack the 70’s right out of his sorry skinny ass.

    • Lauren permalink
      February 18, 2010 4:07 pm

      Auntieaimee, He’s cute! I mean I don’t know about his voice, but he’s cute!
      Saskin, 70’s boy is Tyler Grady not Tim Urban πŸ˜›

      • auntieaimee permalink
        February 18, 2010 4:56 pm

        Ok, I just checked him out. If I were 13, I’d probably think he was cute. He looks like he should be on Drake and Josh.

        • Lauren permalink
          February 18, 2010 5:07 pm

          But he’s 20! I think he’s cute and I’m not 13 D:

          • auntieaimee permalink
            February 18, 2010 5:22 pm

            I meant no offense. 20 is young! My nephew is 15, so he’s not that much older than him.

            • Lauren permalink
              February 18, 2010 8:54 pm

              Haha, its fine! Is that why your name is auntie?

      • saskin permalink
        February 18, 2010 7:42 pm

        Saskin, 70’s boy is Tyler Grady not Tim Urban

        Whoops sorry. My bad. I still don’t like him (him=Grady. Other kid? I have no idea who he is.)

  18. Paulie permalink
    February 18, 2010 9:34 am

    The Top 24 video in the official AI site has Kris’ “Lifetime” as its soundtrack. Not my fave song but cool nonetheless. Does he get royalties for that? Or is it part of “reigning AI winner” contract?

    • on the edge permalink
      February 18, 2010 3:32 pm

      Can’t remember…was that a co-write? If so he’d get songwriting royalties, but not as a performer.

    • erinnthered permalink
      February 18, 2010 4:55 pm

      Some, but he doesn’t actually own the rights to the music. It’s total BS, but pretty standard.

      There are different rights holders for the lyrics and the melody. It appears 19Records holds the primary rights for both for any Idol signed by BMG. Who knows, but there may be some awful clause in the other Idols’ contracts that gives them a piece of their music too.

      Anyway, Kris gets a piece, but not as big of one as he should.

      • on the edge permalink
        February 18, 2010 11:12 pm

        So, wait, David Cook has an agreement with that Cherry-Somethingorother publisher, so did he sign away partial royalties in that deal as well? It was always my understanding that the money was in songwriting, and that performances didn’t pay squat (which is why most performers’ primary income is in touring). But it appears now that 19 owns that too? WOW, I’ll never want my favorite to win again.

  19. Verbally Dyslexic permalink
    February 18, 2010 9:13 am

    Just watched the top 24 introduction video on the official site. I might just hop onto the Scott-Bowersox train. More partial towards Lilly Scott at the moment.

  20. February 18, 2010 8:56 am

    Chris’ version of what happened. Something about it doesn’t seem believable to me. First he says that his contract expired in 6/09 and then he says he couldn’t find his contract release? I’m having a hard time buying that 19E would dump someone just because a random manager called them and said “Hey this kid has a current contract with us”.

    • Verbally Dyslexic permalink
      February 18, 2010 9:54 am

      Maybe Kerry Kolsch can shed some much-needed light onto this. She graduated from law school, so she’s very well-versed in Idol conspiracies.

    • Mithra permalink
      February 18, 2010 2:20 pm

      I can just see a tard lawler firm in the future. Kolsch and Svajgert Esq to your service πŸ˜›

      I’m having a hard time believing that 19 would wait until the very last minute to have papers in order. I know this year Hollywood Week was later, but they are on these people with multiple auditions, interviews, background checks, and everything. Pacitti was only DQed last year because her plantedness was so obvious and was finally being picked up in the mainstream media from VFTW. They knew her connections which got her DQed in the first place – they just got caught. I’m in agreement with everyone who is saying there is more to this story. For what it’s worth, because anyone can post anonymously, several people have posted on VFTW’s main page article on him that he’s a liar and has some sketchy stuff going on, including a restraining order from an ex girlfriend.

    • erinnthered permalink
      February 18, 2010 4:59 pm

      Yeah, I read more about that at Worst. Either he was released from the contract, or it expired. One or the other. The question is, did he scam Idol, and get the management firm to help him, or is he the one getting screwed?

      I do think it’s totally reasonable that he lost the release, but not that the management firm “found” their’s right after he was ejected from the competition.

  21. auntieaimee permalink
    February 18, 2010 8:43 am

    I’m still upset about what they did to Angela. That was just wrong. Why string her along? Again? Ugh. She deserved to be put through.

    Agree that between the Jermaines, they should have put Purifoy through. I thought he had a better voice and a nicer personality. Sellers seems like a little brat.

    I think Lee looks like Gokey (without glasses). Meh. He’s not one of my favorites. His voice is completely unremarkable.

    Out of the guys, I think Tyler (the Mick Jagger lookin’ dude) is probably the most memorable. He may not have the best voice, but he has charisma and a unique style, by AI standards. He’s quirky. I like quirky.

    • Paulie permalink
      February 18, 2010 9:32 am

      Lee does sound like Gokey. Heehee!

      So we have a look-a-like and a sound-a-like. Yikes! πŸ˜›

  22. caspar permalink
    February 18, 2010 8:07 am

    They got burned by Adam and that Hi Fi outfit last year, that’s what prompted the over reaction to Chris G’s old contract. I hope Chris’s lawyers at least get some cash out of 19 for him.

  23. Paulie permalink
    February 18, 2010 6:31 am

    Faves so far I’m rooting for the cool girls (Mamasox and Lilly Scott) and Lee, just because he’s cute for me. Sorry Park Benches, but John ain’t doing it for me. πŸ˜›

    Andrew does give off the Gokey vibe doesn’t he. Boy needs new glasses methinks. If he starts coordinating spectacles with his outfits I’m outta here.

  24. erinnthered permalink
    February 18, 2010 5:08 am

    THE ORPHINK was totally cut because they realized his rapidly growing tardbase could ruin their OMG, A GIRL WILL WIN!!

    It’s true. You know it has to be true. The given reason is silly if it expired before he even tried out. They’ve let people by for worse.

  25. wino permalink
    February 18, 2010 3:45 am

    andrew garcia? a dash of danny gokey with a splash of corky from life goes on. ashely rodriguez? tranny contestant from RuPaul’s VH1 show. katie stevens? suri holms and david archuleta hybrid. hmm, who else annoys me? Haeley? Gizmo on crack

    if mamma sox doesnt make the top 4, i might go postal on someone. too early to tell if she deserves to win it all (afterall, i didnt see kris as a potential winner until download nite), but its safe to say, she has the quality and the charm to at least make it that far. and fking janell! why is her boyfriend a douche? 😦 im sadz. she’s hot and has a good voice, i wanted to cheer for her (yes, im extremely shallow)….now , i just feel disappointed LOL i wonder if she’ll try to distance herself from him given the scandal.

    anyhoo, my top girls are sox, lily, didi, and janell…..yet so much could change. maybe lacey brown can sneak into the top twelve, although i fear she might get overshadowed by Suri or Gizmo

    top boys: casey, park, the guy who had zero screen time but go through yesterday, and i guess corky (cant deny he has a great voice)

  26. February 18, 2010 3:23 am

    Hmmmn. Let’s see….

    Garcia = Gokey
    John Park = Anoop
    Big Mike = Sarver
    Haeley = Jasmine Murray
    Bowersox = Megan (hopefully, better)
    Tyler Grady + Casey James = Matt (lusted by Kara. Ew.)
    Joe Munoz = Jorge (looks like young Anoop)
    Katie Stevens = Lil Rounds (heavily pimped)
    Didi = Tatiana (emotionally fragile?!)
    Lee = Kris

    yeah, because I’m a bad person…

    Orphan ( DQ’ed) = Carrot Top


    • erinnthered permalink
      February 18, 2010 5:05 am

      I see two differences:

      Bowersox= Jessie Langseth without the BS wild card round. Vindication!
      Didi =Brooke White (also fragile)

      Who is Lee?

      Okay, I guess that does make him like Kris, but seriously, how is he like Kris musically?

    • Paulie permalink
      February 18, 2010 6:27 am

      LOL! Nice comparisons!

      I am sort of tarding over Lee now so I sorta agree with the Kris comparison. LOL! He’s like his long lost dirtier-looking brother.

  27. Sherena permalink
    February 18, 2010 1:59 am

    I don’t think Haeley looks like a tranny but God is she annoying. Tori is much more composed and confident. She’s the one who’s more star material to me, not the nervous, hysterical-leaning Haeley… too bad.

  28. LeighKat permalink
    February 18, 2010 1:37 am

    Spot on! I am so pissed that Jermaine P was cut already.

    Don’t even get me started on the Angela Martin cut! I wish she had just smacked that bitch Kara upside the head and told Idol to kiss her long, silky weave goodbye. Dammit! the girl has a superior voice to Black Country Croaker AND a better weave!

    Now, I am convinced that Gokey has somehow managed to transfer his douchebag personality into this Garcia character. He looks like Gokey and yaps on and on about himself JUST LIKE Gokey. Think back to judging during season 8. Remember how Gokey always had some long bs dialogue to spout everytime he spoke to the judges or Ryan? This Garcia dude is exactly the same. And he pimps his baby relentlessly. Further, I think VFTW had some vids that revealed some racist undertone bs from this dude. He can sing but, I can’t stand him already.
    He’s a total poseur

    The dude with the chin, ridiculously tight pants and borderline jonas hair… The one who Kara said made her think of the 70’s b/c he said the word “fancy” – yeah, he makes me feel icky and his chin is disturbingly massive. ‘JabberJaw’? I dunno, I have to think on the nickname a bit more.

    The only peeps that appear to be worth paying attention to are:

    MamaSox (the only decent thing Randy has ever said…. I mean this comes from a dude who called Kris ‘tenderdawg’) She is just fantastic!
    Lilly – ditto
    John Parks (Lauren and I are officially ‘ParkBenches’ btw) – great voice and just about the only none fug male in the bunch.

    Oh, and of course, Ms. Wheeler’s legs, they are fantastic and give me something to aspire to… Ms. Wheeler’s singing, I could do without.

    Jury is still out on all the others. I pray to the TI God that I do not get Garcia or Black Country Croaker for the HHCYT contest.

    • Sherena permalink
      February 18, 2010 2:03 am

      I…can’t stand plain, fat guys.

      I’m a terrible person.

      • jukejoint permalink
        February 18, 2010 2:10 am

        I agree that John Park is the best-looking guy left. I’m not into the country-western guys who take off their shirts for the likes of Kara DioGuardi, so even though people seem to be swooning over that guy, I am not. John Park is from my state and he is probably smart to be going to NWern, and I am definitely attracted to smart guys, so… John Park it is.

        I also find Lee DeWyze Guy a quintessential Chicago or at least Midwestern dude. (John Park is more suburban. I am not in the least surprised to find out he’s from Northbrook and Glenbrook North HS. He is sooooo Glenbrook North.) Anyway, Lee DeWyze is somewhat appealing in a sloppy Bears fan bratwurst with onions kind of way. S’okay that he’s fodder, though. He’s probably a Cubs fan and I would hate him IRL, anyway. He’s quite David Cookian to me.

        • Mithra permalink
          February 18, 2010 2:30 pm

          Lee DeWyze is from Mount Prospect. That’s the sort of place you drive through to get someplace else. It’s like the fodder of suburbs πŸ˜€

    • erinnthered permalink
      February 18, 2010 5:06 am

      You must push the “Park Benches” as his fan group name. Must. That would be the best name EVER!!eleventy!!11!!

      • Lauren permalink
        February 18, 2010 9:08 am

        Haha Leigh and I will get on that.

  29. jukejoint permalink
    February 18, 2010 1:37 am

    If I get John Park in the Tard-a-Thon, I am going to give out little bouquets called Parker Posies. Screw the Park Benches. That’s not how I roll.

    I think they came up with twelve roles to cast for boys and twelve roles to cast for girls, and then they fill them. So there’s a certain number of spots for different colors and styles and ages, and Angela Martin, with the sad back story to beat all sad back stories, couldn’t get cast because she doesn’t go with whatever roles they had to cast. She’s too old to be the adorable teen black girl, she’s not the bouncy blonde they seemed to have several slots for, and she isn’t at all in the jazz/Adele/Duffy vein that they also seemed to have several slots for. Plus I think they feared her back story would get her more votes than they were really comfortable with, because they have other contenders in mind for those votes. The people who will be voting for Dead Friend Girl and Alzheimers Grandma Girl and should not be distracted by Dead Dad/Sick Child/Missing Mom Woman.

    And I am so much on the Grassy Knoll that now I’m wondering whether the Orphink was doing too well with focus groups and threatening the Dead Friend Girl and Alzheimers Grandma Girl and Gang Parents Guy and New Baby Guy and their collective climb to F10, so they had to get rid of him.

    • TopIdol permalink
      February 18, 2010 1:52 am

      Will your fansite be called the Parking Lot?

      • jukejoint permalink
        February 18, 2010 1:57 am

        Will you give me John Park if I agree to name my fan site the Parking Lot? Cause I am totally down with that.

      • Lauren permalink
        February 18, 2010 2:23 am

        I want to call it the Park Bench! Or the bottom end.

        Anyway, this is still random right?

        • Verbally Dyslexic permalink
          February 18, 2010 9:18 am

          I still can’t figure out what Shania Twain meant by John Park’s “nice bottom end”. Is it supposed to have some musical significance or was the woman just plain lusting after the boy?

          • Lauren permalink
            February 18, 2010 9:22 am

            Bottom end of his vocal range. She knew what she was saying though. She HAD to. But I still think it was mostly lust. I mean COME ON! He’s pretty!

            • jonoave permalink
              February 19, 2010 6:09 pm

              Yeah, I figured Shania was talking bout bottom end in terms of vocal range ,even though I know practically nuts about music. So I was kinda surprised that Randy went ‘huh”, though Kara did her best ‘yes, he does” sucking-up expression. And really surprised that no one else elsewhere on the net seems to pick up on that (or just choose to run with the sexual innuendo one).

              • Lauren permalink
                February 19, 2010 6:21 pm

                I feel like she was purposely talking about both. xD It’s true with either meaning πŸ˜‰

                I’m being a creeper, aren’t I?

                ~Park Bench #0069~

    • Mithra permalink
      February 18, 2010 2:32 pm

      Yay! Tard splinter groups happening already!

  30. Lauren permalink
    February 18, 2010 1:25 am

    “That, blond hair and a nice rack might even earn you a spot in the semifinals without having a tragic back story involving your pet snail.”
    She does have a sob-story. She dated/ is dating Tim Tebow! Maybe he knocked her up, and left her but first convinced her it was a sin to get an abortion. Now she has to go on idol in order to get money for her baby soon to come that she is keeping even though she can’t take care of it. It’s the moral thing to do.
    I feel like Crystal and Lilly are going to be this year’s Kris and Adam. Friendship-wise.

    ~Park Bench #0069

    • Sherena permalink
      February 18, 2010 2:01 am

      I think John Park is the cutest guy that made it, lol. It’s not even just that I want an East Asian guy, what with all the stereotypes against them (nerdy, socially awkward, whatever), to make it for a change, I actually think he’s super cute.

      • Lauren permalink
        February 18, 2010 2:24 am

        He is super cute! Though then again, I generally find Asians to be beautiful people.

        • jonoave permalink
          February 19, 2010 6:11 pm

          Western-o-phobe! Asian lover!1111!!! You’re starting a voting campaign with the ramen noodle makers now, aren’t you!!! I’m gonna write an expose on you!111!!!

          • Lauren permalink
            February 19, 2010 6:23 pm

            YES! You have revealed my master plan! Free packets of ramen will be given out to whoever votes for John Park!

            (And f*ck you for reminding me how much I miss ramen.)

            ~Park Bench #0069~

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