No way. How are we down to SIX couples and the show is still TWO hours?
Oh…ok…they perform 2x. At least Cat Deeley looks GORGEOUS. As per usual.
So um, while I really, really want to get rid of Powder, I can live with her for another week. But ONLY if we get rid of Contempo Casuals Caitlin.
Right now, I am drinking some piss-poor Heineken Light, because 10pm is too late to break into the Captain when you have a lot of crap to do at work the next day. Granted, that’s never stopped me before, but… I have no idea why I bought this crap beer a couple of weeks ago. Just like I have no idea why I can’t do my hair like the stylists do Ms. Deeley’s coif. They basically give the Goddess a different fashion era EVERY OTHER WEEK and she pulls it off with such aplomb. Now she’s channeling the 1930s. Two weeks or so ago, it was the 1920s. I go to work every day looking as if I crawled out from the sewer. That’s it. I want my own stylist.
This week’s guest judge is the big ol’ bitter Broadway queen Tyce Diorio, which means I’m sure he’ll be extra bitchy. Which will annoy the shit out of me, however, if he decides to go off on Contempo Casuals Caitlin or Powder, I will decide I like Broadway Tyce…for one evening, at least.
Melissa & Ade (Disco — Doriana Sanchez)
Move On Up (Destination)
Hey, call me an optimist but I’ve got HIGH HOPES for tonight because we’re kicking things off with…
ADE’S PICK!!!!!
Ade’s Pick makes my world go round. Ade’s Pick is literally dancing in the rehearsal footage. This is heaven. I don’t care if Ade’s Pick is 3000 miles away from me. In my heart, he is here with me forever. And tonight, well, there was so much Ade’s Pick love to be had.
Melissa and Ade’s disco routine is fun, plus its to Move On Up (alas, a cover, but still…), which reminds me of my collegiate heyday, when I was a platinum blonde waitress in a debaucherous nightclub in Columbia, MO called the Pure Lounge. Hey, I was 21 and hello? I had spent about 14 hours at Tunnel in NYC so I was all hip and shit. I knew what was up.
While Melissa has some amazing flexibility, there are a few moments when she does look out of her element and OMG she falls during the end. Granted, she probably lost her balance and train of thought when she caught a load of this lunatic in the audience.
Whoa. HOLD ON. FINALLY. FINALLY. Finally there is a tard sign I can really appreciate, because it is a tard sign for…ADE’S PICK!!!!!
Nigel talks about the routine being trememdous, throws in something about the American Ballet Company doing Romeo & Juliet next week, blah blah blah…ok, let’s get to Crazy Mary. Has she been drinking? YES SHE HAS! She is already giving an AMEN to the DISCO GODS.
Because everyone needed a little disco pick-me-up today.
Tyce starts talking, and he actually seems PLEASED with the routine. But right now, I don’t give a rat’s ass about what Broadway Tyce has to say because I have found my two new best friends. I have a feeling they may be Ade’s family, which is fine by me. I want to be going to their house for Thanksgiving dinner. Because these two women rock my mutha-fraking world.
The picks are adorned with silver & gold glitter. I am about to sob tears of joy into my piss-poor Heineken Light.
Studio 54 eat your heart out.
Cat Deeley, not only are you a Goddess, but you can also COUNT!!!
Kayla & Kupuno (Contemporary — Mia Michaels)
Gravity (Sara Barailles)
This is a piece about addiction. Kayla is addicted to Kupuno. Kupuno is totally moved by the addiction theme. Although I gotta admit, Powder does at times look like a drug addict sleeping on a rotten mattress in a basement. The dance is all Mia Michaels-y, which is my expert opinion after watching two seasons of Mia Michaels dances, although hell, I can’t find fault with the woman since if I was a choreographer, I would probably be making interpretative pieces where people are artfully throwing themselves around the stage in some sort of heartbroken rage.
I would just make them get a proper spray tan first, that’s all.
Ok. That totally bored me. Sorry, Mia Michaels, I disagree with Nigel. It was not moved by this hot mess. And speaking of hot mess, Holy Comfort Fedoke! The SYTYCD Makeup Crew turned Power from a hot ashen mess into a hot meth-ess!
1980s British Hair thinks its superb…Crazy Mary tells them they’re staying on the train, which is pretty much the only appropriate way she can do her whole Hot Tamale Train thing considering it was a serious routine about addiction and all. Now if you give a crap about my astute opinion, I believe Powder’s grandparents should be the only members of her family with a first class ticket on the Hot Tamale Train.
Tyce really liked it. He must be getting some because he’s typically not this bitchy. Even The Goddess Cat Deeley thinks its going to be one of those memorable performances of the season, but I must disagree. I just wasn’t feeling it.
Caitlin and Jason (American Fox Trot)
Minnie the Moocher (Big Bad Voodoo Daddy)
Caitlin is excited about being elegant. I’m not even touching that one because its too goddamn ridiculous. Homegirl is rehearsing in what appears to be tie-dyed pink ruffles.
Jason is continuously brought down by his much-weaker partner. I still have no clue how this chick made the Top 20. This entire routine is putting me and my ginger bastard feline companion to sleep.
1980s British Hair talks about Contempo Casuals Caitlin making difficult things look simple and Jason’s intricate footwork. While I’m sure the latter is true, I don’t think Contempo Casuals did much of anything, and noooooo, its not because they made it look easy. Clearly Crazy Mary just is trying to get to the next break because hello? HOMEGIRL’S DRINK IS EMPTY.
The reaction of the judges may be positive, yet their words, and the performance, still strike me as undeniably milquetoast.
Now for the break…now for Crazy Mary’s drink refill…and frankly, this whole preview of what we’re about to see may just spell out diaster, given the looks of this fraked-up Doublemint commerical scene taking place above.
Jeanine and Phillip (Russian Folk — Youri Nelzine & Lilia Babenko)
Kalinka (Barynya)
A playful competition between a man and a woman…pure Russia…hmmm…
This is supposed to be humorous, right? Because it totally works if it is, if not, uh…whatever, you know I love Jeanine and Phillip, and you must give the latter for running around with a stupid grin and painted on rosy cheeks.
I like these two a lot, therefore, I’m sure they will get their asses reamed because everyone has been so pleasant thus far in the episode.
Anything like this, you need an awful lot of vodka to go with it.
Oh, 1980s British Hair, you’re so witty. Just come out and admit you loathed the choreography. Yes, yes. It was obviously too folksy. Crazy Mary is giving them credit for some shit they pulled out, even though she says it wasn’t that difficult…Tyce must be getting laid because Tyce is all Mr. Positive tonight. Like I’m starting to LIKE Broadway Tyce so much that I want to invite him to my kick ass dinner party with Cat Deeley, Sonya and Adam Shankmann.
Randi & Evan (Hip Hop — Tabitha & Napoleon)
Halo (Beyonce)
Love Tabitha & Napoleon! Not so sure how I feel about routines about accidental pregnancies. Does she wear a pillow? Will they be doing it to Papa Don’t Preach?
Okay. I totally think the shirt they are having Randi wear is a bit blouson to infer the whole “with child” thing. And because we know she’s supposed to be “pregnant”, I keep thinking if he should be whipping her around so much. Ah, ok…1980s British Hair was thinking the same thing. He does make a valid point about Tabitha and Napoleon not asking Randi & Evan to be urban, but to be themselves to a hip hop feel.
Good idea.
Because I’m all for the underdog and such, I sort of want Evan to steal Randi away from her Mormon husband and homestead. SYTYCD Scandal!
Note to Fox: Whether it was in-house or done by a “respectable” agency, you need to fire all of those involved with your ridiculous All-Star Game promotional campaign. Making the St. Louis Arch a GIGANTIC MAGNET picking people up from all over and then letting them slide off into Busch Stadium? Is there a Razzie equivilent to the Clios, because you people totally earned one for such nonsense.
Janette and Brandon (Argentine Tango — Miriam and Leonardo)
Libertango from Forever Tango (Broadway Cast Album)
Brandon was the only one who couldn’t speak Spanish. I bet he felt as I often do whenever I go to a Vietnamese nail salon. Like my nails, though, everything seems to work out okay, as they do some crazy lifts and other “sexy” shit.
While I wasn’t blown away, it was certainly solid. I wasn’t blown away like 1980s British Hair, who leads the judges’ table into a standing ovation. Maybe I am staring at my screen while typing too much? Do I miss too much? What did I miss? Do I need to brush up on my ballroom dancing.
If that train ain’t coming, there’s gonna be bloody trouble.
1980s British Hair leads Crazy Mary into one of her thirst-need-more-Captain-Hot-Tamale-Train-NEED-MORE-CAPTAIN monologues. Someone still needs to refill her drink, btw. I refuse to believe she hasn’t had a refill since last break, but I am concerned, as it looks like quite a bit of the ice has melted.
Oh, the things I worry about. I am also worried about the fact I am enjoying Broadway Tyce’s commentary this evening.
One hour down, one more to go. And it is getting late…so let’s stop here for now and pick this back up tomorrow, shall we?
I stumbled upon this while perusing ONTD. I often stumble onto things I don’t really go looking for, although I know I’m lurking in places where such things may exist. It is much like stepping in horse shit on the afternoon of a parade.
I think this may be kind of a joke. The author even says as much…although, uh…I just never know what to think anymore.
I DID ANOTHER TAROT READING
AND THIS TIME IT WAS ABOUT ~SEXUAL RELATIONS~Again, this is just for shits and giggles.
ALSO: FEEL FREE TO SUGGEST ANY OTHER KRADAM-RELATED (OR NON-RELATED) THINGS I SHOULD ASK IT!
1) Present Situation: The Empress. Fertility. Maternal. Strong female figure. Reversed meanings: Infidelity. Domestic Life. Infertility.
2) Past Influences: 3 of Pentacles. Artistic ability. Working with others in a creative environment. Skill and craftsmanship. Collaboration.
3) Subconscious infulences: 10 of cups. “This joyful reunion”, home life, reunion, family devotion. Loving and peaceful surroundsings.
4) Secret Desires and Wishes: 6 of cups. Nostalgia. (IDK…tinhat something for that)
5) Hidden forces: 5 of cups. Imperfect relationships. Marital dissapointments. Regret. Loss.
6) Events yet to come: 7 of cups. Daydreams, imagination. Having thoughts of fantasy.
7) Surrounding Environment: King of Pentacles. Business know-how. Wise invetor. Skilled in math. Proficient in financial matters.
Influence of others on your persona: The Emperor. “Dominating all that is arund him, the emperor sits with confidence. Although pleased with his achievements, he looks towards other areas of conquest” [HBIC! WHAT?!]. Leadership. Accomplishment. Ambition.
9) Spiritual forces: The Lovers [omg wut?]. “Locked in a passionate hold, two lovers embrace by a desert lake. The moon casts a hypnotic trance upon them. A snake injets them with venom” [CRAZY TINHAT TIME: OMG THEY'VE HUGGED! OMG KRIS IS A CANCER AND IT'S RULING PLANET IS THE MOON! AND THERE WAS A SNAKE ON ADAM'S CROTCH AND IT'S LIKE A PEEN AND THE VENOM IS ADAM'S JIZZ!]
10) Answer: 6 of swords. A journey. Escaping bad situations and entering good ones. “The city is ablaze and turmoil has taken over the land. A lone citizen ferries himself to new shores in hope of finding peace”
TIN HAT TIME!
Why? Because its AWESOME night on Conan.
His guests will be Cat Deeley AND Ray LaMontagne.
That’s what she said.
Seriously…
A fan Tweeted this gem to Danny Gokey, who then in turn posted it to his Twitter.
(Because if you haven’t noticed yet, life revolves around Twitter. Life is Twitter. Twitter is life. To Twitter or not to be, that’s not the questions, it’s the answer to EVERYTHING. If you’re not on Twitter, you just SUCK as a human being.)
And hilarity (or nausea) ensues. See, people? This is what happens when you keep making lame-ass heart shapes with your hands. I think this was taken during his homecoming performance back in May judging by what appears to be a church choir standing behind him.
Tomorrow evening in Portland, the summer’s Pop Tarts festivities begin!
Will you be going?
As always, I would LOVE to receive your first-hand recaps of what you witnessed and saw, as well as any PHOTOS you may take. As we’ve seen with the APB sent out through the Lambert brigade, there will be some mind-blowing people watching this year.
So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE send anything ya got to me! Maybe I’ll start thinking of ways to reward you…Hmmm…maybe someone can teach me how to knot potholders or something.
I had a feeling Michael Jackson’s untimely death would lead to a tribute by the kiddies on Tour, but according to Anoop Desai’s recent Tweet, it was too late in the game to add anything new into the show.
so we tried to work in a short MJ tribute to the end of the show today during rehearsal but it didn’t work out logistically, unfortunately..
(Gee, I wonder how difficult it would be for these guys to put on a show which didn’t have the same setlist night in and night out, but that’s not totally their fault, so…)
Here are the instructions on what you need to wear.
I think the person who made this video is speaking in some sort of strange forum language I do not (nor wish to) understand. In any case, they batshit crazy Lambert fans should be the most easy to spot. (PLEASE TAKE PHOTOS)
These are the things that you have to wear at the american idol tour if your going. buy and wear (cobalt) blue glowsticks for the idol tour!!! Its adams fan color for the tour and itd be really awesome while he’s singing if he were to look up and easily spot all of his fans! imagine a whole stadium full of glittery-sparkly-glow sticks … its gonna be magical … He will love it!!! SPREAD THIS AROUND, its all over IDF already … so just spread spread spread even if your not going
thanks
us lambskanks and glambert; have to make a fashion statement as adams fans so also wear lots of black, blue, eyeliner, black nail polish, big shiny accessories, and cover yourselves with glitter lots and LOTS of GLITTER!!! XD We’ll be the best looking people there – people need to know who we are when we show up!!! YA THATS RIGHT WERE ADAMS PPL!!! its gonna be an exciting night i can feel it btw, this was xspacyxmacyx idea!
Is this the Michael Jackson tribute we heard about? An opening dance to Brand New Day from The Wiz with lots of feathers and stuff and Broadway Tyce?
Kind of weak if you ask me. But really, I’m no one you should ask. I only write about this shit because it fills the Idol void, I loved it last summer and oh yeah, I want to be Cat Deeley.
Who cares? Cat Deeley looks like a stunning platinum goddess. I want to go shopping with Cat Deeley so very badly. Yes, yes. I do.
Karla & Vitolio
Randi & Evan
(One couple is in the Bottom 3)
Gotta say…Karla is rather dull, even for being a Broadway-experienced plant of sorts.
Randi & Evan are…SAFE. And Karla give HUGE bitch face. (But I gotta say, Caitlin should go home before Karla.)
Janette & Brandon (If these 2 aren’t safe…)
Janette & Brandon are…SAFE
Powder & Kupono
Melissa & Ade
Melissa & Ade…are SAFE
YES! Powder & Kupono are in the Bottom 3. And Mia is SHOCKED. Hmmm…you know why they were in the bottom 3? BECAUSE NOBODY LIKES POWDER. And basically Mia said they can’t be lost, so obviously, you know they’re not going anywhere.
So of the remaining couples, I’m gonna have to go with Caitlin & Jason joining the others in the bottom 3. I will call bullshit if its Jeanine & Phillip, but he’s got a big fan base, so I have a feeling it will be the former.
Although Caitlin and Jason fans really turned out. I suspect they’re family. And when I mean they really turned out, I mean they’re wearing homemade tinfoil spikes.
However, I really just want to boot Contempo Casuals Caitlin on fashion sense (and lack of defined movements) alone. Just because you have great abs, it does not mean you must wear tacky discount bin bras.
Jeanine & Phillip
Caitlin & Jason
OMG NO NO NO NO NO.
Caitlin & Jason are…SAFE
Ok, then Karla & Vitolio better get the boot, because if they get rid of Jeanine and / or Phillip, I may just give up on this show for the season.
Jeanine & Phillip better stay. I love them. They are adorable. And Jeanine is a BRUNETTE! (You know they’re not going to boot the lone blond in the Bottom 3, but I wish they would stop shoving her down our throats because she is obviously not a fan favorite.)
Some contemporary ballet for the folks at home…from Patricia and Desmond Richmondson…
Karla
Blackbird
She just twirled around a bunch and shook her hair around a lot. Although I would really love to see Powder go over here just because I don’t want to lose another brunette.
Vitolio
Here Comes Goodbye
Vitolio may have been a bit better, not sure. Odd song choice.
Kayla / Powder
Stupid
Yeah. Well, she is stupid…anyway, I don’t think it was the point of the song. Clearly, this girl can only do things with her legs because that is all I’m seeing. Leg extension, leg extension, roll around into a leg extension…
Kupono
Somewhere Over The Rainbow
Smart move, Hawaiian boy, dancing to this song. Although I didn’t see him do much, granted, I was typing. I bet Kupono can get action with any man he wants. Just making an observation, but he would be the King on any Pride float.
Jeanine
Moonlight Sonata
LOVE HER
And The Goddess Cat Deeley, of course.
Phillip
You’ll Find A Way (Switch Remix)
LOVE HIM
And while the judges deliberate…
Kelly Clarkson will perform I Do Not Hook Up.
Yes, I do love Kelly Clarkson. I didn’t discover her until 2 or 3 years after Idol, but yes, I adore her. Her music often speaks to me…SHUT UP.
And I don’t care if Kelly gains some weight from time to time, as long as she doesn’t balloon up like Wynonna Judd or something. Or the one Wilson sister. She’s too young. But honestly, Kelly Clarkson is pretty normal looking, which is refreshing. And she hasn’t had any mental breakdown or public relationships with crackheads, so hey, she’s doing pretty damn well for herself. Even people like myself and others who don’t listen to a ton of “pop” music have nothing but respect for this girl. And yes, as soon as her latest album was released, I totally downloaded it.
Ok…now for the unceremonious booting…
Jeanine…
Please don’t go!!! Please don’t go!!! YES YES YES! They said she had the strongest solo of the evening!
Powder
This is awesome, 1980s British Hair says she is one of the judges and choreographers’ favorites, yet tonight she sucked…BECAUSE she was STATIC and just threw in A LOT OF KICKS! Yes! Have we now discovered why Powder gives off the illusion of being so damn good? Can’t she just go be a Rockette or something?
Powder looks pissed…or like she’s gonna cut a bitch.
Karla
Of course Karla goes home. Because she is brunette and because she doesn’t have this “star quality” they had hoped for. And I’m sure Vitolio will be going home now…just because…he’s not Kupono or Phillip.
Phillip
NO NO NO NO NO…please keep him…YES! Even if they think he needs more work on other forms of dance, they will keep him. Well…hello! You can’t break up Jeanine and Phillip.
Vitolio
Uh oh…he just has a great presence…
Kupono
Weak solo…he just stood on stage and smiled, I guess…he needs more passion…and of course…
That’s what we’ll be expecting from you next week
I knew it. They had to boot the couple they liked least. And hello? Didn’t I tell you the Quickstep meant DEATH?
I’m going to miss Vitolio. I’ll miss him a lot more than Karla, but hey, no one ever said this show was fair…and hell, Vitolio is crying and talking about the emails he’s received for inspiring people. Karla, obviously, she didn’t really inspire people.
And the first one out there to hug them? JEANINE.
Because JEANINE IS AWESOME. Caitlin just looks confused.
Ok. Cat Deeley. I’m back. (Although I have about 4 episodes of this saved for when ShoestringMag finally gets over here to watch them.)
What the hell is Caitlin wearing? Is there some Merry-Go-Round still in existence somewhere? Wait. I swear I saw one at a mall in New Hampshire in last year. I think…? The mall with the Apple store. Noooo. It wasn’t a Merry-Go-Round I walked past. It was a Glamour Shots.
Same damn thing.
Now on the opposite spectrum of fashion sense, there is Cat Deeley. Who looks insanely exquisite tonight.
The Goddess Cat Deeley is also awesome enough to ask guest judge Mia Michaels if her opinion of any of the dancers has changed. Ahem. Brandon.
She says her opinion has changed for the better. Good job, Mia. Good job.
Janette & Brandon (Latin / Cha Cha)
Hush Hush Hush Hush (Pussycat Dolls)
Do you remember when non-dancers wore leg warmers? After Flashdance. And leg warmers were so popular, they made them with kittens and hearts and all sorts of nonsense. And people would wear them with jeans and Nikes.
Janette and Brandon are dancing to some Pussycat Dolls song I have never heard. I guess they have four hush’s because Paula Abdul did Hush Hush (Hurry hurry lover come to me…). That video did not have MC Skat Cat as the love interest. It was Keanu Reeves.
Wow. It’s about 10 minutes into tonight’s SYTYCD and all I can do is take walks down a pop cultural memory lane. Pathetic. Anyway, Jeanette is all in her element because it’s Latin, although I swear her and Brandon screwed up at some point…before the her big twirl? There was that odd stop, or what seemed like one. It reminded me of when they didn’t do the lift in Dirty Dancing. Regardless, they were pretty damn good at that hip shaking.
Cat Deeley is soooo sweet. She hold Brandon’s hand. Nigel thinks it was the BEST DAMN CHA CHA HE HAS EVER SEEN ON THS SHOW. Wow. Ok. Flash to the choreographer…WTF??? Who is the kid sitting behind him and why is he wearing a Daniel Boone hat? In summer…in Los Angeles…
Anyway, Nigel is overcome with Brandon’s paintbrush feet and amazed how he hasn’t seen either one of them do their individual styles. Wow. It amazes me when Crazy Mary Murphy just starts saying shit which makes sense, but after AF’s recap, I can really see how these comments are rehearsed…in any case, Crazy Mary sends them both to her Hot Tamale Train. First class tickets, actually. Which is great, because I’m all about saving the brunettes on this show. And Brandon!
Mia Michaels makes Brandon cry with her effusive praise tucked into the whole when-you-see-someone-with-so-much-talent-you’re-harder-on-them speech. I mean, I think even the Goddess Cat Deeley was getting a bit emotional when Mia spoke. It’s all rather sweet, really, even if I didn’t get misty eyed. Mia also talks about dragging him places. Which sounds painful.
Ugh. Kayla is next. And I get they’re just trying to make her look like a broken-down Gothic doll, but the chick still frightens me with her death-like pallor. They should really have considered such things when pairing her with the mocha-hued Kupono.
(You know what is really sad? I had no idea this year’s All-Star Game would be in St. Louis until I saw this commercial with mad FX and Albert Pujols. My friends and family failed to mention this to me. In any case, this sucks. People sliding off the ARCH? Are you kidding me?)
Kayla and Kupono (Contemporary)
Eyes on Fire (Blue Foundation)
Why are we watching their journey? Kayla was devestated going to the Bottom 3 and losing Max. Devestated. Then they talk about all the times they were on the Hot Tamale Train. And I start thinking about the fact I’m watching a show where each week, dancers strive to get on something called a Hot Tamale Train.
This week, they will most likely be on the Hot Tamale Train again, as Sonya is choreographing them. I love Sonya! Sonya always does the fun and edgy stuff. Plus, this routine is about vampires, and vampires are all the rage these days because of that Twilight shit. However, if I was a choreographer and I had to choreograph something with Kayla, I might go with a vampire theme, too, because Hot Pink Ashen Mess makes it totally believeable. I know she spends all day sleeping in a Hot Pink Coffin and sleep-texting on her Hot Pink Sidekick.
Hot Pink Ashen Mess has killer leg extension, so if you give her anything with mad leg extension, she’s kind of good. I’m sure that’s oh, a pretty huge deal for a dancer, but she still annoys me. And there’s gotta be other crap people look for in dancers. Like you can’t look like Powder.
(Yes! New Kayla nickname!)
Nigel evokes that Twilight shit, so I kind of want to stop listening to him. If you say Twilight, I stop listening. But he does go on about how they’re just so perfect together, because Powder just HAS to go far.
Crazy Mary says they’re still on the Hot Tamale Train. Mia thinks its Sonya’s best SYTYCD piece ever and their costuming…their makeup…Powder’s lines…
Ok. Totally went and made myself a drink. Just because I want to go for a ride with the Captain on the Hot Burrito Train.
Randi and Evan (Broadway)
Sweet Charity
I never get very excited about the Broadway dances. Nothing against Broadway really, just all step-ball-change and jazz hands. Randi & Evan had a rough time learning Jody Dowling’s routine.
Randi makes funny faces. But this dance is kind of funny. And there are funny little faux-punching hand movements. Not my favorite of dances, I gotta admit. Even though I don’t dislike Randi and I dig Evan and his bald-brother-almost-contestant. This reminds me of a swinging 1960s movie, and I do love the retro, but I dunno, it just kind of didn’t do much for me. And the wrist stuff was a bit stroke victim-like.
I just realized why I’m so bummed out with tonight’s episode. I have concrete evidence about how much Crazy Mary drank and how many times her drink was refilled. That’s my favorite part of the show! However, I don’t think this is typical of most week’s as she is way to coherant and rehearsed. She’s almost sedate. Even though the Goddess Cat Deeley looks absolutely stunning in that gorgeous dress, I know how much Crazy Mary drank. All I can hope for now is that Ade’s Pick makes an appearance. Ade’s Pick is my new true love now that Quatto The Mole has gone into hiding.
Jason and Caitlin (Jazz)
Creator (Santigold)
I still think that Bollywood routine was not-so-good. Contempo Casuals Caitlin makes my eyes hurt even with her interview attire.
Ok. This piece is about an alien who comes down to earth with the intention of getting laid. I guess its like that movie Species? But wait…she needs to impregnate the dude. Choreographer Brian Friedman thinks Caitlin can’t do his moves for shit b/c she can’t handle detail. She totally is weak on the detail, which is why she sucked ass during the Bollywood routine. And I guess she’s magical b/c she impregnates him with hand motions. Her gymastic ability helps her out a bit, but its so obvious how much stronger of a dancer Jason is over her.
But let’s pause for a second and admire her costume. Because its completely whacked.
Nigel thinks it was crazy and weird, but I think he liked it. He thinks they committed themselves. But they all hate the whacked tin foil costume. Crazy Mary has not had enough to drink because she’s totally coherant and says it didn’t sit right. You know Crazy Mary wears Old Tyme Photo saloon madam attire when she’s at home chugging out of the bottle and takes Old Tyme photos of herself doing so in shitfaced sepia glory so she really can’t talk. Even though that costume was completely whacked.
The Goddess Cat Deeley makes me want to buy that outfit. Or something which looks similar.
Jeanine and Phillip (Hip Hop)
Love Lockdown (Kayne West)
I love these two. Go brunettes! Yay! Brunettes! And Phillip ripped his pants last week and totally didn’t care. And now they’re doing hip hop with Napoleon and Tabitha, so I’m positive it will be awesome. I love Tabitha & Napoleon. They make me want to dance hip hop by myself in my living room with my cat, Oskar. Wow. Just typing that made me take another swig from my drink. This endless rain is killing me…
I love these two together, especially doing hip hop, because Jeanine totlaly holds her own and it always just works. Let’s compare her to Caitlin, shall we? If you want to see DETAILED moves, watch Jeanine. Each move is defined and certain, which is especially impressive when dancing hip hop with pop-&-locker Philip.
Well if you guys keep dancing like that, you should be chained together for life.
Awww, Nigel. Did you write that?
Anyway, Nigel thinks every style of dance is Jeanine’s style. And Phillip was great. They were both great. Crazy Mary loves it, too. But she’s still too sober for my tastes, even if her voice has upped a few octaves during this critique. And you can totally tell Mia is gonna rip it apart by the way she starts.
Oooh, Are Phillip and Jeanine sleeping with each other? Hey, that’s cool. Everyone needs to get a little sumthin sumthin.
Melissa and Ade (Pas de Deux)
Romeo & Juliet
Noooo…where is Ade’s Pick? This is horrible. WAIT!!! I was about to give up too soon.
I am just soooooo relieved right now. Sooooo relieved. Everything is gonna be ok.
Melissa is the first person to wear pointe shoes on the show.
Ok. Did you see that sick lift? That was incredible. It was almost a visual illusion. And then there was another sick lift when he held her for what seemed like five minutes.
I know I’m totally biased because I like Melissa and Ade, and I LOVE Ade’s Pick. No actually, I’m not even being biased this week. That shit was pretty damn good.
And even better? British 1980s Hair says ballet like Peter Gallagher says it in Center Stage. Yeah. Center Stage. I love that movie and I have no problem admitting it. In fact, I’ve wanted to watch it ever since Michael Jackson died just because I think about the big finale dance every time I hear The Way You Make Me Feel (as I do whenever I hear Jamiriqui…yes, Center Stage had a profound effect on me).
Blah blah blah…the judges like it. Mia loves it was a bi-racial Romeo & Juliet. She calls it a bourgeois fairy tale.
DIZZY FEET FOUNDATION PIMPAGE
This Dizzy Feet stuff sounds like a great cause, but hello? WHY IS KATIE HOLMES INVOLVED WITH IT? Just so she can dance as Judy Garland on this show because she married a Friend of Dorothy. Oh, but photos of Katie Holmes are always so telling. If you look past the blankness in those eyes, you see someone longing for Pacey Witter to swoop down and take her and her thetans on a summer-long boat ride along Cape Cod.
Oskar wants a Dizzy Feet Foundation scholarship. He’s a talented dancer in need.
Why am I so bored this evening? The dancing has been good, Cat Deeley is a gooddess AND I got to catch a glimpse of Ade’s Pick. Seriously. Crazy Mary needs to drink more next week.
Karla and Vitolio (Quickstep)
Puttin’ On The Ritz (Rufus Wainwright)
Isn’t the quickstep the dance they make people do when they want them to go home?
Ok. Her dress just changed like, mid-move. That was crazy like drunk Mary. Can I be honest here? I know the quickstep is all sorts of difficult but it often bores me. Vitolio has good form. Karla has good lines. Yeah…now I sound like I’m critiquing…But I liked the first dress better, mainly because I don’t believe in mixing pink, red and orange.
1980s British Hair just said Vitolio held his form well and the lines were really good. I’ve so got this SYTYCD blogging shit down.
I also learned a new word: closehold. I think its one word. Closehold. Must use in sentence tomorrow.
Ági from Hungary posted this video she made in dedication of Kradam.
We all know how I love my crazy fan videos, but I am really touched when someone sends me one from another country. Perhaps I should do one of those contests? Hmmm…let me think about this one. Of course, first prize may be one of the finest pieces from the Paula Abdul Jewelry Collection!
To Ági, thank you. Or should I say…Köszönöm?
